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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship	By : delicatektheory Category: WWF/WWE > Het - Male/Female Views: 1885 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the WWE current or former talent. I do not own any of the lyrics featured later on. I am not making money from writing this. All I own is Lil, Jas, and Jenn.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
It had been a week. I had yet to talk to Matt about our little spat. Between his work and the task of making his three-story brick house from hell handicapped accessible, we barely spoke…Okay, so that’s just my excuse. Honestly, I had not come up with a conversation starter that didn’t involve me firing off a string of obscenities at him. I was going to attempt to be “adult” about this when I confronted him.
            As per usual, I was getting out of the Jacuzzi when I decided to start mulling over my options. If I’m concentrating on something other than my task at hand, I usually fall. Too bad I wasn’t thinking about that.
            “Shit!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. My knees had buckled beneath me, and stupidly, I thought that clutching the newly-added handrail would save me. I toppled sideways. My legs remained in the Jacuzzi while my upper-body landed outside of it. I hit the tile floor face-first.
            A few seconds later, I could hear Matt’s thunderous footsteps rushing down the hall.
            “Lil, are you okay?” he cried as he nearly kicked the bathroom door down.
            I was still half-in and half-out of the Jacuzzi. I looked up at him, clearly as stunned as he was. I hadn’t even realized that I was lying in a tiny pool of my own blood.
            “Do I fuckin’ look okay to you?” I snapped, suddenly aware of the crimson river flowing out of my nostrils. Yuck. I hate that bitter, rusty smell.
            “Jesus,” Matt hurried to my side. “What the hell happened?”
            “I wrestled the floor and it kicked my ass,” I replied as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me out of my death-trap. He stepped over my blood puddle and carried me to the toilet.
            He sat me down and removed his shirt, which had been soiled by my blood; he wadded it up in his hand.
            “Should I take you to the hospital?” he asked, pressing his shirt to my nose.
            “No,” I replied. “You have a flight to catch.”
            “I can take a later one. I think your nose might be broken.”
            No. My heart was broken. My nose was just bleeding.
            I shook my head. “No,” I reassured. “It’s not broken. Besides, I’m not letting you miss work because I can’t keep my balance.”
            “It looks bad.”
            “So does Michael Jackson, and other than some psychological issues, he’s okay.”
Matt laughed, his serious expression vanishing.
“You sure you’re okay?”
I took the shirt from his hand, still pressing it to my nose. “Yeah,” I replied as I looked down at myself. “But I am kinda freezing my tits off, literally.”
He looked down at my body and his eyes widened.
“Right,” he nodded. “You must be freezing.”
He walked over to the counter and reached into the cabinet underneath, pulling out two towels. He handed one to me and then went to mop up my bloody mess near the Jacuzzi.
After a couple minutes, my nose finally quit gushing. I wrapped the towel around myself and wobbled over to the sink. I could feel Matt watching me from the doorway as I washed the access blood off my face.
As if my embarrassment hadn’t reached its peak, my towel fell to my ankles.
“Damn it! Damn it to hell,” I muttered, trying to squat down and pick up the towel.
Matt crossed the room silently. He knelt down and picked it up for me. I rocked backwards, into his chest as he slowly—almost seductively—wrapped it me. His hands were dangerously close my breast as he tucked the towel in place.
For some strange reason, our gazes met in the bathroom mirror. He still hadn’t removed his hands, not that I wanted him to. Hell, they could venture further south for all I cared. The way he was staring at me (and my swollen nose) was enough to make me collapse again.
There was a pained, desperate look behind his eyes.
“What are you doing, Matt?” I asked. My voice was so low that I wasn’t sure he heard me.
“Nothing,” he replied in a husky tone. His eyes were still fixed on our reflections.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” I said. I needed to remind him. No, I had to remind him of what he had said to me. “You want me, right here, right now. And you’re fighting it because you shouldn’t be looking at a child this way.”
He frowned. That’s better.
“I know that…Lil, I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want it to be this way.”
“But it is,” I scowled. “You’ve brought this on yourself. I’m not the one ashamed of my actions.” I spun around, leaning my back against the counter. Matt was so much taller than me, so I had to strain to look up at him. “I’ve taken up for you, but I can’t…I won’t do it anymore. Now that I know where I stand with you, I’ve lowered my expectations of this relationship. Since you’re so much older and wiser than me, I’m sure you understand what I mean.” My words were like razor blades. Good, I hoped they cut him as deep has he had me.
“Lily—”
“Don’t,” I put a finger to his lips. “What you said can’t be unsaid, so there’s no need to defend yourself…You have a flight. You need to be on your way.”
He nodded, pursing his lips into a thin line. He looked at me a moment and then left.
I waited until I was sure he had left the bedroom and then grabbed my crutches, which were propped in the corner beside me. I slowly walked into the bedroom and took a seat on the edge of the bed.
That wasn’t as horrible as I anticipated, so why did I feel so bad? It wasn’t like I was Matt’s type, anyway. In fact, if you rated Matt’s type on a number line, I’d be on the far left, in the negative one hundreds. I wasn’t as tall and voluptuous as those girls I’ve seen him with. I was plain, average. If it weren’t for my killer rack, Matt wouldn’t bother giving me a second look.
The open dresser drawer was the only thing that tore me away from my self-loathing episode. It was the top drawer, Matt’s shirt drawer. He had been in such a hurry to leave that he hadn’t bothered to close it. When did that start? Since when was he so anxious to leave me?
I sighed, slowly rising to my feet. I walked over to the antique mahogany dresser. Matt’s clothes had a particular smell to them—a rustic, manly scent—so I got a whiff of them when I slowly shut the drawer.
My cheeks felt wet. God, was I actually weeping over him again? I braced myself against the dresser as loud sobs racked my body. I closed my eyes and let the tears flow.
The sound of footsteps caused me to straighten. Damn, Matt must have heard me crying. I wanted to hide my face, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. I turned to stare in the direction of the sound.
Matt was standing in the doorway, his navy work shirt unbutton. He was staring at me, his mouth clenched together in that sultry, brooding fashion that I loved.
“Fuck it,” he said, which caused me to jump for no reason.
I looked at him, confused. “Huh?”
“Fuck it,” he repeated, almost in a low growl. “I have nothing to be ashamed of.” He hastily walked toward me, removing his shirt in the process.
I didn’t have time to question him. He wrapped his arms around me, sweeping me off my feet and crushing his lips to mine. He slung my crutches to the floor.
I whimpered in pain because my nose was still touchy. At that, his kiss immediately softened.
“Matt?” I asked to make sure he hadn’t been body snatched. I had never seen him this…needy as he carried my limp body to the bed.
He said nothing as he laid me down and his hand slipped beneath my towel.
I gasped as I felt him exploring my inner thigh, his other hand unwrapping me like a Christmas gift. All the while, his lips never left mine.
I jerked, feeling the one hand brush across my vaginal opening as it inched its way up my body.
“Okay?” he asked, his husky whisper almost made me climax right then.
“I think.”
Matt continued kissing down my neck. I stiffened, not sure how I should react. This wasn’t him, not the man I was accustomed to, at least.
I was panting, overwhelmed by my sudden arousal. Judging by the bulge in his pants, so was he.
My body was yearning for him, arching into his. I had to have him.
He read my body language correctly and responded by getting up and removing his pants and boxers.
“What the hell?” I sputtered as he grabbed my ankles and pulled me down a little ways.
“I don’t want to put you through the headboard again,” he smirked.
I laughed.
He crawled back onto the bed.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked as he positioned my legs around his waist. Lord knows, I didn’t want him regretting this in fifteen minutes.
He pressed down on me somewhat, putting most of his weight on his hands.
I moaned softly, clutching at the flesh, more like muscle, of his back as I felt the length of his erection being slowly thrust into me.
“Answer your question?” he asked, which also came out as a moan.
We made love and then fell silent, waiting for our breathing to return to normal.
“You caved…again,” I laughed lightly.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” his laugh was tense.
“Regret it already?” I frowned.
“No.”
“Well, you did fuck a child just now,” I pointed out, bitterness in my tone.
“Yeah, I did, so what.”
I arched a brow, propping myself up on my elbow. I stared at him. “Oh, what brought about this change of heart, Mr. Child Molester?” I asked.
“Well…” he drew in a sharp breath. “I realize I had overacted. I had no idea how much I had hurt you by insinuating that you were too immature until I really looked at you a little while ago. Then on my way out, I realized that your age hasn’t stopped us before, so there was no point in letting it now. The truth is I can’t stand hurting you...” He trailed off.
“Yes, and?” I prodded, sensing he had more to say.
“I want you to be happy,” he replied, clearing his throat. He gestured to himself, then to me. “If this is what makes you happy, so be it.”
“What about your happiness?”
“I’m just happy you didn’t decide to move out on me,” he laughed.
“Never crossed my mind,” I lied. “I knew you’d cave.”
“I bet you did,” he laughed again.
“Okay, so I was a wee bit unsure.”
“That’s better.”
I sighed, resting my head on his chest. “But feel free to call me a child all you want,” I grinned, playfully. “So long as you intend to fuck me straight afterwards because…Oh. My. Fuckin.’ Damn.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he chuckled as he rose from the bed. He started dressing.
“You missed your plane,” I frowned.
He nodded, fastening his belt. “I’ll take a later one,” he said as he looked over his shoulder. “We need to get you dressed and packed.”
“Me?” I looked at him, surprised. “Where am I going?”
“With me,” he replied as he crossed the room and picked up his shirt. “You didn’t honestly think I’d feel comfortable leaving you alone after that nose dive you took. I want to keep a watchful eye on you, so you’re coming to work with me.”
“Oh,” I quipped. “Take Your Fuck-Buddy To Work Day. I’m so excited.”
Matt turned, scowling at me.
“It was a joke,” I giggled, “Lighten up, old man.”
“Get a better sense of humor, little girl.”
I rolled my eyes. “So, are you gonna get me some clothes or do I have to go to the airport like so?” I asked, giving him my best seductive pose.
“Can’t say I’d object,” Matt laughed, glancing at my naked body for a moment. “It sure as hell would make joining the Mile High Club a lot easier.”
“Oh,” I clapped my hands in excitement. “Airplane sex, really? Someone’s took his Viagra this morning.”
“Like I’d need it,” he laughed, helping me sit up. He sat next to me and buttoned his shirt. “We have a week’s worth of sex to catch up on.”
“That’s, like, five years in the sex-talk.”
“Yep, sounds about right.” He nodded, playing along with my ridiculousness.
I grinned. “So, when do we leave?”
The company Matt was wrestling for—World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)—was divided into three different weekly shows: Raw, SmackDown, and ECW. Though, Extreme Championship Wrestling was being marketed as a different company. Matt was the current heavyweight champion for that brand. I didn’t see the joy of carrying around that leather silver-plated belt; it was so heavy, but he didn’t care. This was the first heavyweight championship he had ever held in his career. After a lengthy twelve years in the business, he was so happy to have finally made it to the top.
Because I’m not an avid wrestling fan, I’ll never understand the full significance of what it’s like to be one of the front-runners of his company. In my eyes, Matt was already a front-runner, title or no title. He worked hard and was so dedicated to his craft. I’m proud to call him my…whatever he is.
Jeff wasn’t pleased that Matt had taken a later flight because the two of them always discussed their matches, regardless of the fact that they essentially worked for separate shows. When Jeff had asked why Matt was the one being late (usually Jeff was behind schedule), he left out the part about us getting it on. As part of our new intimacy guidelines, Matt and I promised—well, he made me promise—not to discuss or joke about our future sexual encounters.
Time passed at an agonizing pace for me, but at least I had Jenn for company. She had started traveling with Jeff quite a bit, so she knew this backstage business better than me. She didn’t seem as mind-numbingly bored as I did, either. In fact, she was excited to watch her man at work. Well, she wasn’t really watching him because Matt and Jeff had scampered off to some corridor to discuss business.
We were sitting together in some room. I had assumed it was a locker room, but I didn’t see any naked men running around in jockstraps, so I wasn’t entirely sure where we were.
“Shannon was saying that you’re pretty pissed at Matt?” Jenn sounded like she was making a statement of fact rather than a question.
“Shannon,” I growled, clenching my teeth. Love that man as I may, he can hardly ever keep his lips zipped when it came to my dilemmas.
“I’m surprised you came here, then,” she continued, noting that Shannon hadn’t been lying. “When you’re pissed, you usually stick to your guns.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, but Matt and I talked, and we’re cool.”
“He called you a kid,” Jenn reminded, prodding at the anger I had been suppressing. “It’s okay to be mad. If Jeff said that to me, I’d kick him out.”
“Really, it’s fine. I was mad. I got even. We’re cool.”
I could tell by the expression on her face that she wasn’t buying it. She was quite for a minute, carefully choosing her words.
She finally sighed. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“Fearlessly walk right back into this mess.”
“Honestly, I can’t walk right into anything without assistance.”
“You know what I mean,” she frowned.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, if I’m walking into a mess, then Matt’s ass isn’t far behind,” I said. “We’re going down together.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, pursing her lips. “But…”
“Oh,” I groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re going to get into that he’ll-want-a-serious-relationship-someday crap. I told you I’d deal with it.”
“I know you will, but I don’t think this friendship is healthy for you anymore. It’s just a matter of time before he does something else to upset you.”
“And when he does, I’ll call him a fucktard, just like usual,” I spat. “Then we’ll move past it, just like usual.”
“You can’t be hot and cold with this man forever,” Jenn was still frowning, but concern creased her forehead. “I think you should try finding a life outside of Matt. Find someone who appreciates you and your brutally honest ways…Like Shannon, for instance.”
I was fuming, gritting my teeth together so hard that my jaw hurt. “Shannon,” I hissed. “Did he put you up to this? We’re just friends. Nothing will ever happen between us.”
“That’s what you said about Matt.”
“Like I’ve told you before, Matt and I are just friends,” I hoped that she didn’t catch me wincing at the words that were coming out of my mouth. “It is—or was—nothing, but meaningless sex. We’re just two sexual people and experimenting. Who better to experiment with than my best friend?”
Jenn was staring at me, unusually calm. “If you love him, walk away,” she said. “And if he loves you, he’ll come after you. You’re so young, Lil, you don’t want a man that can’t make up his mind.”
“He had made up his mind. We’re just friends. End of story.” She probably knew I was lying. I practically had the words “sex fiend” stamped onto my forehead, but at least I didn’t blow Matt’s confidence in me to take our sex life seriously.
“Just be careful,” she sighed, leaning over to hug me. “You can be very reckless sometimes, and I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
“Yeah, I know” I laughed, “But it’s not like I can get knocked up. So, what’s there to worry about?”
That was probably another reason Matt was so sex-crazed with me. I couldn’t get pregnant, which when you find out that kind of thing at fifteen, any plans for a family are shot all to hell. Between the effects of my disability and the abnormal fluctuation of my menstrual cycle—currently, four months without it and counting—doctors had told me children would be out of the question. I tested that theory with my high school boyfriend. Sure enough, after countless times of unprotected sex, I was about as sterile as a surgical knife. When Matt and I first hooked up, his major concern was the fact that we had unprotected sex and I was probably carrying his child.
It sounds absurd, but I kind of wished I had been pregnant. I feel incomplete knowing I can’t reproduce. If I could’ve had that miracle baby, I wouldn’t have bothered Matt. He would just be my sperm donor and nothing more. I would’ve taken care of my baby without hitting him up for child support. Plenty of women are single parents; my mother was. I would’ve been just fine.
            I guess I should have agreed to that partial hysterectomy when it was suggested. If had gone through with it, I wouldn’t be sitting here dwelling about having babies. Because I’m such the optimist, I still think there’s that tiny glimmer of hope that I’ll have a child someday. It’s a false hope, but I have to have something to look forward to.
            The sound of Jenn vomiting caught my attention. She had gotten up to rush to the bathroom, but didn’t make it. She was crouched on her knees and hurling right in front of me.
            “Damn, Jenn,” I wrinkled my nose as the sour smell entered my nostrils.
            “Sorry,” she grumbled.
            She had been fine no more than two minutes ago, but as I looked at her now, her face had drained of its color and sweat had condensed on her forehead.
            I started at the puddle of brown fluid, which resembled a lighter shade of dog doo.
“I’m not cleaning that shit up,” I told her.
            “No, thanks, Lil, I’m fine,” she sneered.
            “Well, I know you’re fine. You’re bound to be after you hocked up an organ.”
            “Ha, ha,” she groaned, putting her head between her knees.
            “You need me to go get Jeffro?” I asked, already getting to my feet.
            She nodded.
            I danced around the vomit puddle, careful not to stick a crutch in it. I fought with the door before I finally made it out of the room. I had no idea where to look for him. I was asking random members of the crew if they knew where the Hardys were. Then I caught Jeff coming down the hallway, heading for an exit, probably on his way out for a smoke.
            “Hey, Jeffro,” I called, looking pretty silly in my attempt to catch up with him.
            He stopped halfway to the door and turned around.
            “Hey, what’s up?”
            “Clean up in room number whatever-the-hell-room-it-is-you-stuck-us-in-like-a-bunch-of-captives,” I replied, already out of breath by the time I caught up with him.
            “Huh?” He looked at me, confused.
            “Jenn’s sick, you clusterfuck. She upchucked all over the damn floor in there. I think she might need to go back to the hotel or something.”
            Jeff pursed his lips in concern and nodded.
“She’s been sick a lot lately,” he said, keeping up with my pace as we started heading back to the room. “I offered to get her on flight back home, but she’s a stubborn as you.”
            “Well, you knew some of me would rub off on her, eventually,” I grinned.
            He laughed a little bit, but there was still tension behind it.
            “Are we playing some game of charades, and I have to guess what’s wrong?” I asked.
            “What do you mean?”
            “Well, you’re looking mighty tense for this just to be a stomach bug.”
“She’s just been sick for a while now. I’m worried.”
“She’s been sick and neither one of you thought to tell me?”
“Well, you and Matt were…I didn’t want to bother you about it,” he replied. “You had enough food on your plate. I wasn’t going to add more.”
“What is it with you Hardys? You always want to look after me.” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, someone has to,” he replied, looking over his shoulder as he opened the door to the room.
He entered first.
Jenn had taken a towel and spread it across the vomit puddle. She wasn’t in the room, though.
“Jenn?” Jeff called.
“In here,” came from the bathroom.
Jeff and I followed the sound. I was more sluggish in my movements than he was. I had been walking for fifteen minutes, and that appeared to be my limit.
I stood in the doorway as Jeff went to tend to Jenn. She was lying on the tile floor, her face pressed against it.
“Baby, are you okay?” Jeff asked, crouching down, next to her head. “Want to go back to the hotel?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I’m fine now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He was silent a minute and then nodded. “Okay, but we won’t go out tonight. I want to get you back to the hotel as soon as the show’s over.”
“Good idea,” she grumbled, sitting up as another wave of nausea started to hit her.
“How long you been like this for, Jenn-Jenn?” I asked out of curiosity.
“On and off for three weeks…Maybe four.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Well, uh, I think I’m gonna find a clean up crew,” I said to no one in particular. “Jeffro, where’s Matt?”
“Look for Killings,” Jeff replied, his full attention on Jenn as she puked again.
That really helped. I didn’t know what the hell a Killings was, but I didn’t ask any questions. There was enough love and concern in that room to make me nauseous.
After I found out that Killings stood for Ron Killings, I was able to find Matt. Ron, Matt, and a couple of Matt’s other friends shared a locker room.
“All right, boys,” I warned, giving one knock on the door. “Unless ya’ll don’t mind a lady seeing your mystery meat, I’d cover up. I’m coming in.”
I heard a chorus of laughter.
“Is that her?” One of Matt’s buddies asked.
I took that as a sign that the coast was clear and barged in.
“Hey, Lil,” Matt greeted me warmly. He then looked at the two other gentlemen sitting in the room with him. “Ken, Ron, this is Lil.”
I gave a brief acknowledgment to them. “Hey, how the hell are ya?” I asked hurriedly, not waiting to hear their responses. I looked at Matt. “I hate throwing your buds out, but we’ve gotta talk, pronto.”
Matt looked at me and then to his friends. “Guys, would you mind stepping out?”
“No problem.” One of them replied.
I waited for them to shut the door before I ventured into the room any further.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” Matt asked, gesturing for me to have a seat. He looked worried, as always.
“I think Jenn’s knocked up,” I blurted out, flopping down beside him.
“Oh,” was all he could say.
I could tell that he wasn’t sure how to react because of my own bizarre reaction to the idea. I had just been thinking about being pregnant, and then ironically my best friend could be pregnant. I wasn’t shocked. I was…jealous? Jenn is possibly pregnant, and I’m jealous. Some friend I am.
“Yeah, she’s been barfing for three or four weeks,” I continued, talking more to myself than to him. “She’s definitely knocked up.”
“It’s possible,” Matt nodded.
“Yeah…So, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Uh huh,” he said, sounding even more confused. I wasn’t looking at him, but I bet he was scratching his head. “Do they think she is?”
“I don’t think they’ve put the pieces together.”
“I see.”
I stood up stiffly. My knees were about to give out on me. I teetered on my crutches until I could hold myself steady.
“You’ve been walking too long,” Matt scorned, his warm hands wrapping around my waist.
“I’m fine,” I insisted, but made no attempt to get out of his arms. “I’m just going to give Shannon a call and tell him the news. I’ll go sit down, I promise.”
“You’re going to have told everyone,” he chuckled. “Save some surprise for them.”
“They’re surprise will be when they find out.”
He chuckled again. He spun me around, lifted me up, and threw me over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes.
“Matt, what the hell are you doing?” I shrieked.
“Taking you to your next destination,” he answered.
“Well, I’m not entirely helpless, you Great Dane. I can walk a few more feet.”
“I bet.”
My crutches were dragging across the floor. I was surprised they hadn’t caused him to trip as he hauled me out the door.
“You should be finding someone to mop up Jenn’s puke,” I continued, even though I knew it was useless to protest.
“I will as soon as you get where you need to be.”
Matt had already broken into a comfortable stride. My chin would hit his back every so often as he bounced up and down.
A few of his co-workers were laughing as we passed.
I looked like an indignant child, hoisted over a giant mammoth’s shoulders. Okay, so he’s only a giant to me, but still, I looked ridiculous.
“Find a secluded corner and park me,” I grumbled.
“Yes ma’am.”
He walked down another hallway and headed for an unfolded chair. He carefully went to sit me down, and I deliberately hit him across the head with my crutch along the way.
He chuckled at my infuriated expression and rubbed the spot where my crutch had nailed him. “Might want to be careful where you aim those things, kid.”
“You’re right, old man,” I smirked. “I should’ve aimed lower.”
“You need anything else, darlin’?”
“Maybe a little Sex-A-La Matt later,” I gave him a crooked smile.
“We’ll see,” he laughed. “I’m going to check on Jenn.”
I waved him on and then waited for him to turn the corner before I got out my phone and called Shannon.
“Hello?” he picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“I know a lot of ‘me’s,’” he teased, but I could tell he knew my voice.
“Cute. I’ll remember to laugh when you’re actually funny.”
“Ah… I know that sarcasm.” I could hear him grin.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“No, I’ve got plenty of time for you.”
“Good,” I sighed. “I need your ear.”
“All yours…What’s up?”
“Well…” I drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I think Jenn may be pregnant. Actually, I’m sure she is.”
“I see. And you’re problem with this is?”
“It’s not a problem. I just…I,” I tried explaining, but I was faltering big time.
“You wish it could be you,” he guessed, his voice warm with sympathy.
“Yes unfortunately. Does that make me sound awful for wishing that was me?”
“I don’t think so, no. But I don’t think Matt would be keen on the idea.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know.”
He was silent for a moment. “Well, if you could have kids, I’d be first in line to help knock you up,” he finally said.
I laughed. “You better not let your girl hear that.”
“It’d be our little secret.”
“Which would be revealed in nine months,” I added.
“That’s true. Oh well, I guess she’d just have to accept it.”
“Thank you. I needed a laugh.”
“No problem, little lady.”
“Well, I feel a bit better, so I’m going to let you go. I need to check on Jenn.”
“’K, love you. See you when you get home.”
“Ditto,” I smiled and hung up.
After Matt’s match, we met in his now empty locker room. I sat in a folding chair and watched as he winced in discomfort. His knee had been surgically repaired a few years ago, so it was constantly giving him trouble; it was killing him at the moment. He was icing it down, which was routinely done after every match nowadays, but it didn’t seem to be helping tonight.
“You look like hell, old man,” I jested.
He smiled at me though the thick, tangled jungle of black hair falling into his eyes. “Yeah, thanks, kid,” he laughed.
“Are you going to try to get into the shower soon?” I asked. “Don’t want to keep Jeff waiting.”
“Yeah, give me a few more minutes,” he replied, grunting as he accidentally moved his knee. “Got to let these old bones settle, you know. I’m fifty in wrestler years, so the settling takes a bit longer,” he added, flashing me a tired grin.
“Well, other than you’re knee being shot all to hell, you’re one hot old fart,” I giggled. “I’d definitely fuck ya…Oh, wait.”
He laughed.
“You want some aspirin or something?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded.
I fell silent, observing the look of agony across his face. I wished there was something I could do to help ease the pain. That’s when I had an epiphany.
I slipped out of my chair and onto the floor. I slowly crawled toward him.
“What are you doing?” he asked, puzzled.
I looked up at him, grinning like a cat. My right hand went straight to his groin. “Taking your mind off your knee,” I replied, slowly massaging his sexual organ through his pants.
“I-I,” he sucked in a deep breath, his eyes starting to roll back in his head. “Don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I grinned as I felt him becoming aroused. “Mini-Matt says otherwise.”
He didn’t seem to object as I started unbuckled his belt. He even lifted up so I could slip his pants and underwear past his hips and expose his erection.
“God damn,” I heard him hiss through his teeth as my mouth slipped over the tip of his throbbing member and slowly worked its way down.
It took me a few seconds to adjust and find a good rhythm of suction, but after that, Matt started moaning in appreciation. I kept my pace pretty uneven in order to heighten his excitement, which I must have been doing. He started bucking his hips a little bit, causing me to gag.
I pulled away. “If you keep doing that,” I warned, teasing him, “I’m going to have to stop…Now, chill out or you’ll have a set of blue balls to match your knee.”
Matt grunted in response, slumping back into the seat.
I went back to work, sucking on him a little harder than before.
            After a minute or two, it was like Musical Penis. Every time I bobbed down and back up, he would moan. I deliberately started sucking him in a particular pattern to see if I could get a song out of him. I almost did and that made me laugh. But, when I did, I vibrated around him, which caused him to buck and nearly knock me backwards.
            I felt him quiver, so I quickened my pace and then…
            “WHAT THE FUCK!”
            I froze, my eyes darting toward the doorway.
            There stood Jeff and Jenn. Jeff looked absolutely mortified, which I couldn’t say I blame him. The image of me giving his brother oral sex would probably be lodged in his brain forever. Jenn, on the other hand, she was laughing.
            “J-Jeff!” Matt stammered, embarrassed. He ripped himself out of my mouth, but decided that he could still use my head for protection.
            “Fuck, Matt!” I wailed as his erection poked me in the eye. I yanked away from him. “My eye’s not some kind of cock shield, asswipe,” I snapped, rubbing my violated eye.
            Jenn was laughing even harder at this point.
            Jeff was fuming, which confused me, because he’s the type of person that would find this whole situation funny.
            He pointed to Matt, or I think he pointed to him, at least. My eye was watering so bad I couldn’t tell.
            “I think we need to step out into the hall,” he said, gritting his teeth.
            Matt nodded, quickly dressing himself. He was so frazzled that he ended up stepping all over my legs as he stumbled toward the door.
            “You fuckrag,” I cried out, slapping him in the leg as he passed.
            Great, now I had a violated eye and two bruised legs. That’s just how I wanted my evening to end.
            He mumbled a weak apology and followed Jeff into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.
            Jenn crossed the room and attempted to help me up off the floor.
            “I got it,” I spat, swatting her hand away.
I used the chair Matt had just gotten out of as a brace. My knees cracked rather violently underneath me. They weren’t used to me pulling up in such a way.
I was breathless as I turned and flopped awkwardly into the chair.
Jenn took the chair in front of me. “So…” she grinned.
“What?” I glared at her.
“You two are just friends, huh?”
“Yes,” I replied. “His knee was killing him. The way I look at it, I was committing a public service. It was like organic painkillers.”
“Don’t you mean orgasmic?”
“That, too,” I nodded, still irritated. “Why’d you have to come in now? I know you guys could’ve heard him carrying on through the door. I mean, what did you think I was doing to him, giving him a damn foot massage?”
“Well, Jeff told you we weren’t going out tonight,” she retorted. “How the hell were we supposed to know that you two were in here doing…that?”
“It’s called knocking.”
“No, it’s called locking the door.”
I was about to say something else when I finally heard talking on the other side of the door. I gestured for her to hand me my crutches. I got up and went to press my ear against the door.
“What the hell were you thinking, man?”
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“Obviously…I thought you guys were done with this shit.”
“What shit?”
“Sex everywhere you turn. You were the one bitchin’ about her being a sex addict.   Yet, here you are, letting her give you head in a locker room, with an unlocked door, where our bosses can just waltz right in unannounced.”
“I know, Jeff. I know.”
“You two have some serious problems. Right now, you’re more fucked up than I am, and I have no idea how the hell that happened.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and Lil, can you tell me what that is, exactly? When you and Amy split, fine, I understood wanting to screw around a little, but this has gone on for way too long, man. You two need to figure out what the hell you are before something bad happens.”
“What’s gotten into him?” I whispered, eyeing Jenn. “Since when did he become so uptight and authoritative?” I shook my head, answering my own question, “Never mind, you’re knocked up, so I guess it’s understandable.”
“What?” she gasped. “How do you know that?”
“If you’re hurling your guts out for way more than a week, it’s obvious you’re baking something, hon,” I replied, turning my attention back to the door.
“…Look, I understand, Jeff, but I know what I’m doing.”
“I hope so.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Consider it dropped.”
I didn’t have time to back away from the door before it slammed right into my face. I shrilled as I lost my balance and fell flat on my back. I was sure my nose had been busted again.
“Damn it, Jeff,” Matt growled, pushing his brother out of his way. “Watch what you’re doing.” He crouched down to pick me up. “Are you okay, Lil?”
“Yeah, sure,” I grumbled. “An irritated right eye, two bruised legs, a couple stitches, I couldn’t be better.”
“She shouldn’t be eavesdropping, then,” Jeff snarled as he walked passed us. His glowering expression was full of disdain. The venom in his voice made me shiver.
“Jeff…” Jenn scorned. She knew what he was getting at without him saying it.
“What? That shit was disgusting, man.”
Matt was crouching rather protectively over me. I saw the blood rise to his face. His jaw clenched as he stood to face his brother.
“FUCK OFF, JEFF!” He screamed suddenly, causing me to jump. He had his fists clenched, ready to start throwing punches. “Don’t talk, better yet, don’t even so much as look at her that way again,” he hissed, his words laced with an equal amount of venom. “If I were you, I’d go back to the hotel before I really get pissed off!”
I was cowering on the floor, absolutely horrified.   I had seen the brothers bicker on occasion, but nothing compared to this. They were standing toe to toe, staring each other down. The Hardys were about to duke it out, and it would all be because of me.
Matt straight-up fucked me when we got back to our hotel room. There was nothing sexual or intimate about it. He was silent, aggressive, and rode me like a man on a mission. I actually had to stop him a couple of times because he started making me uncomfortable. After twenty minutes of non-stop venting via sex, he finally let me rest. It was about two in the morning.
He was looking up at me, his chin resting on my chest. His hands were underneath the covers, stroking the six-inch surgical scars I have on both hips.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, looking a bit guilty.
“Which time?” I laughed, running my hands through his hair. “You’ve already poked me in the eye with your abnormally large penis and trampled on me. I was also hit with a door, but that was more my fault than yours.”
He laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “With the sex thing,” he replied. “I didn’t mean to get so…”
“Abusive,” I offered.
“Yes.” His guilt-ridden eyes fell to my neck for a moment; he could still make out the red rings where his fingers had been latched around it. “Sorry about that.”
I followed his gaze. “No worries,” I shrugged, grinning. “I am kinda upset, though. If I had known you were gonna go this balls out—no pun intended—I would’ve brought my handcuffs.”
He laughed again, but still no trace of humor.
“And what about your hips?” he asked, still stroking my scars.
“They will probably be sore as hell,” I admitted, “but that’s mostly due to the fact that I’ve never had my legs that close to my head before. You’ve gotta tell me how you got them to bend like that.”
“Yeah, I wish I knew,” he chuckled slightly. “I could’ve used that bit of information for future reference.”
He fell silent as I continued to play with his hair. He was still troubled about the altercation he almost had with Jeff.
“I’m glad you didn’t hit him,” I said.
A soft growl escaped his throat. “I should’ve. How he treated you was inexcusable.”
“I can’t blame him, really,” I shrugged. “I’ve shamed half the people in my life. He just finally got the nerve to put his name on the list.”
“Jeff is not ashamed of you,” Matt frowned. “He’s disgusted by our actions, maybe, but not ashamed of you.”
“He thinks I’m a whore, and you can’t tell me he doesn’t,” I scoffed.
“Hey now,” he scowled, scooting up further so that his face was close to mine. “Where did all this devaluing come from?”
“I’m calling it how I see it. I’m okay with how he perceives me,” I replied. “I am what I am, whorishness and all.”
“You’re not a whore, Lil.”
“Well, I don’t exactly belong in a convent.”
“And I shouldn’t preach The Bible,” he countered, “but that doesn’t mean we’re a couple of whores, hon…It’s not like we have multiple partners during the times we aren’t fucking each other, right?”
I nodded, shrugging again. “Putting aside the debate on whether one of us or both of us are whores, will you promise me something?”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t fight with your brother because of me. I’m really not worth it,” I pleaded, “If it turns out he’s going to be a father, you need to be by him.” I kept my jealousy from surfacing, but it still lingered in my voice as I spoke.   “Parenthood is a very important aspect of life, so I think as his brother, you should be there to experience it with him. If you keep fighting over my pathetic ass, you might miss out on the opportunity to have some snot-nosed little squirt calling you uncle, and I don’t want that on my conscience.”
“You’re worth the fight,” he said as he kissed my forehead.   “And nothing is going to happen with Jeff and me. Sure, he pisses me off to no end, but he’s still my brother, and I love him to death.”
“Just promise me,” I demanded. “Say, ‘Lily Merrette, I promise to not let you come between me, my brother, and his potential family.’”
He sighed, rolling his eyes as he repeated my silly oath. “Feel better?”
“Yes, thank you very much.”
The frustration in his brow had finally dissipated as he stared down at me, stroking my hairline attentively.   He was tired, but didn’t seem ready to call it a night.
“What now?” I asked.
Matt smirked, using his thighs to pin my body to the bed. He grabbed both of my legs and threw them over his broad shoulders. “How about we try to solve the mystery of that leg trick?”
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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship