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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)	By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
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Warnings for this chapter: very mild violence + references to abuse
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BRIAN.

For the first time since hearing his father was sending him to St. Winston’s, Brian was happy about it. Fuck maths, fuck science. This music project was perfect for him. He could write music right under his father’s nose, and there was nothing he could do about it. Ha!

The rest of the day flew by. Brian didn’t see Stef at lunch, but hope he’d show up after school. Something was up, and he wanted to know what.

Brian waited by the school gate. Hoards of students leaving at once, being picked up by parents or speeding off in their own expensive cars. A few gave him a dirty look. Seemed like word of him turning up in a skirt yesterday really spread quickly. Finally, Stefan came out just as Brian was starting to lose hope. He smiled but didn’t get one back.

“Hey.” Stefan murmered.

“What’s up with you?”

“I… I’m not sure I can…” Stef started.

Brian grinned at him. “It’ll be fun! I promise. Come on, we can go to my place.”

They walked in silence for about five minutes, before Stefan finally asked what he had been dying to know for the past two days. “What was with the skirt yesterday?”

“It’s who I am.”

“A girl?”

Brian rolled his eyes, he was used to this ignorance, but didn’t expect it from Stef. “Maybe! Look, I don’t see why it matters to other people what I wear or how I look. Yes, I like wearing skirts, I like wearing make-up, I own more nail-polish than my mum. I don’t feel like I should conform just because of someone else’s narrow mindedness.” He spat.

Stef looked a little hurt. “Just asking.” He muttered.

Brian stopped. “Are we going to have a problem?”

“A problem? No, I was just…”

“Good.” Brian started walking again and smiled. “I would have thought you of all people would understand what it would be like to be judged.”

“Why?”

Maybe Brian had it wrong. Usually he had a pretty good gaydar. ”Oh, no, nevermind then.”

They finally reached his home and Brian saw his father‘s car in the driveway. Shit. He’d completely avoided being yelled at last night, but now he was in for it for sure. Cautiously, he unlocked the door and tried to creep inside without anybody hearing. Unfortunately Stef wasn’t in on the plan.

STEFAN.

“Wow you have a really nice house!” It was true. The Molko home was massive, especially compared to Stef’s. He saw Brian cringe and close his eyes. Oops, was he not meant to say anything?

“BRIAN!” Yelled a voice from an adjoining room. A tall, well dressed man stormed into the hallway, looking like he was ready to kick some serious arse. He completely ignored Stefan and instead looked squarely at Brian and backhanded him across his face. Stef was shocked. Even when he’d come out to his parents his father hadn’t hit him.
“Brian, did you think you could avoid me forever? Why are you always such a trial? We never had this trouble with your brother.” The man started pacing in circles, waving his arms in the air, yelling at the top of his voice. “I get a call from your principal on your FIRST DAY?! How could you do this to me?”
Stef looked down at Brian who was literally trembling all over, clutching his face where his father had hit him.
“In this family, Brian, we have certain expectations. Now, I know you’re not a keen academic but I at least expect you to turn up at school DRESSED APPROPRIATELY!”Mr. Molko yelled, raising his hand once again.

“DAD!” Brian called out. “Look,” he gestured at Stef. “I… I have a friend.”

Mr. Molko lowered his hand immediately, clearly embarrassed he’d failed to notice such a tall boy standing in his home. “Oh uh, hello young man. I’m, ahem, sorry you saw that. I’m Brian’s father.” He held out his hand.

Reluctantly Stef took it, still in shock. “Uh nice to meet you? I’m Stefan. From school.”

Brian’s father looked surprised. He looked down at his son. “A… you made a friend at school?” A giant grin broke out on his face. “That’s wonderful, son!”

Stef was confused, could this really be the same man who only moments ago was going to smack his child for a second time since he arrived home from school?

“Good man! So uh, what are you boys up to?”

“We’re just doing a project, Dad. Come on Stef.”

They went upstairs and Stefan was amazed at the cleanliness of Brian’s room. It was so unnatural for a teenager.

“Wow.” Was all he could muster.

Brian smiled. “I like to keep things in order."

“A… are you ok?” Stef didn’t really want to bring up the incident downstairs, but he was worried.

“Yeah,” Brian brushed it off. “he’s hit me harder before. Like when he first found my make-up stash.” He threw his bag down and sat on his bed.

“What happened?”

“Well he yelled a lot, smacked me around. I really have my mum to thank for helping me.” He explained, gesturing to his dressing table, upon which were dozens of bottles of eyeliner, lip gloss, foundation, nail-polish and all sorts of other things Stef didn’t recognize. “She convinced him that if I kept my ‘weirdness’ at home, it was ok.”

There was an awkward silence, what do you say to that? “You were great today.” Stef said. “I never really told you that. I was… blown away, to be honest.”

BRIAN.

Brian loved compliments, he was, after all, a showman. “Thanks, you weren’t bad yourself.”

Stef shook his head. “No, the whole package. Your voice, your lyrics, the outfit, the performance. You’re a natural. It was… beautiful.” He murmured, looking down at his feet.

“You’re sweet,” Brian smiled. “I’m surprised you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Stefan laughed. “How do you know I don’t have a… wait what?”

Brian laughed. “You are gay, right?”

“No, I, um…” Stef didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t care if you are or not…”

Stef sighed. “Yes, yes I’m gay. Is it really that obvious?”

Brian laughed again. “I’m pretty tuned in, if you know what I mean.” He winked.

“Yeah I figured you were.” Stef said, leaning back on his hands.

“No, I’m batting for both teams, but with you I knew this morning.”

“How?”

Brian relished in his own genius. It was true, he could spot a gay boy from a mile away. He leaned in closer, getting almost face to face with Stef. “This morning,” he said seductively. “when you just couldn’t take your eyes off of me in maths.”

Stef’s eyes widened as he absorbed what Brian had just said. “I…”

“It’s ok,” Brian shrugged, getting up. He walked across the room and looked for something more comfortable to change into. “I’d check me out too.”

Stef laughed.

“Besides, you’re not bad looking, yourself.” He winked and went back to searching through the wardrobe.

STEFAN.

Oh god, had he heard right? “You’re not bad looking yourself”? Stef was godsmacked. No, this was silly. He was here to do a school project, not fantasise about putting his- wait what!? No, he had to stop thinking about that. “Ahh, are we going to do some work?”

“Just a second, poppit.” Brian called back.

Brian was getting changed behind his wardrobe door, but Stef could see his reflection in the mirror and couldn’t help but look. He had known that Brian was small, but with his shirt off his tiny stature was that much more obvious. His shoulders sticking out far more than any other part of his body. His smooth, hairless legs, firm thighs, lace underwear… Stef was fixated but knew he had to stop staring before Brian noticed. If only he could. After pulling on some tight jeans and a white singlet Brian started fixing up his make-up. He was far higher maintenance than any girl Stef had known.

“So,” Brian started. “DO you have a boyfriend?”

“I only came out to my family in the holidays. I think that might be a bit much for them to handle.” Stef laughed dryly.

Brian turned around and smiled. His beautiful eyes now accentuated by the eyeliner and mascara he’d just applied. “We all have secrets, Stef.”

“Yeah, what’s your secret?”

“Bit early for that isn’t it? We only met yesterday.”

Stef shrugged. “Tell me something then. I just shared MY biggest secret with you, I deserve something.”

Brian laughed. “Firstly you didn’t SHARE anything with me, I guessed. Second, what do you want to know?"

“What do you like?” Stef thought allowed. “Three things you couldn’t live without.”

“Oh that’s easy. Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll.”

Stef laughed. “No seriously.” Brian just smiled at him. “Seriously? You’re what, 19?”

Brian ignored him. “Speaking of drugs,” he rummaged through a big chest at the end of his bed. Opening books, and snapping them shut almost straight away. “no! Don’t tell me I’m out!”

“Out of..?”

“Smack,” Brian replied, not looking up. “Oh well, beer?” he offered, pulling out a six pack.

“Jesus, what else do you have in there?”

“No drugs, unfortunately,” Brian replied, annoyed, opening a beer. “That’s where I keep the stuff I don’t want others to find.” He winked and threw a can to Stef.

Stefan had never known anybody who was a drug user before. Not that he knew of anyway. “Ok, I understand rock’n’roll, and I guess I understand drugs, in a sad twisted kind of way,”

Brian laughed, choking on his beer.

“But sex?”

“Ooooh, you must be a virgin.”

This time it was Stef who almost spat his drink out. This was not the conversation he had thought he’d be having. “Well…”

“Nothing wrong with that, everyone is at some point.” Brian shrugged.

“How old were you?”

“15. Worst shag I’ve ever had.”

Stef laughed. “Boy or girl?”

Brian laughed. “Well, well well, someone’s interested.”

Blushing, Stefan took another sip of beer. He didn’t mean to pry, but he was finding the conversation somewhat… titillating.

“Boy, if you must know. And there have been plenty since.”

“Boys are better?”

“Well Stef, if you think about it, there are some things a boy can do to you that a girl can’t.” Brian grinned, wickedly.

Stefan was confused for a minute as he thought about this. “Oh.. Oh! Oh I see, ok.”

BRIAN.

Brian grinned. He didn’t mean to make his new friend uncomfortable, but he was so innocent, so naïve, so… sexy in that shirt. “Why are you still wearing that hideous uniform?”

Stef looked down, he hadn’t even taken his blazer off. “Oh I’m sorry, shall I put on some sparkly leggings? I don’t think yours will fit me.”

“Well, at least lose the tie!” Brian laughed, moving closer to loosen Stef’s tie. It was tight, even Brian’s tiny fingers had trouble manipulating the knot.

“Here, I’ll do it…” Stef started.

“Na, I’ve almost got it!” In one swift movement, Brian’s hand let go of the knot, too tight for him to pull and accidently smacked Stefan in the jaw, pushing him to fall onto his back on the bed.

“OW!” he exclaimed, clutching his jaw.

Oh no. He’d just punched the first friend he’d had in years. First proper friend. Brian could only look in horror as a small trickle of blood left Stef’s mouth. The taller boy looked up at him.
“Oh god, Stefan I’m so sorry! Here,” Brian grabbed a pillow and put it under Stef’s head. “is there anything I can get you? Ice? Oh god…”

Stef laughed. “It’s ok. Hey, now we match.”

Brian smiled and went back to remove the tie. Stefan’s hand stopped him. “How about, I do that?” he smiled.

“Is there anything I CAN do? I promise I won’t punch you again.”

“You have quite a lot of force for a little guy,” Stef smiled. He looked at the wall and said softly, “there is… one thing.”

“Anything!”

“Kiss me.”

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A/N: This chapter was getting epically long, but I'll update very, very soon (maybe today) =D Thoughts? Suggestions? Really, the more comments I get the more likely I am to keep writing. Thanks.
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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)