Code Blue | By : HobNobsAndTea Category: Individual Celebrities > Tom Hiddleston Views: 2054 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Neither I, nor any of the writers know Tom Hiddleston, his PR people, nor have we ever met him. We do not make any profit from this story other then the enjoyment of writting it. All characters and events are entirely fictional. |
"I've heard tales of your bravery on Asgard, and I am honored to be in the presence of such a fierce warrior," Chris continued. Jacob couldn't believe his ears, and you thought for sure his eyes would come right out of his head. He nodded at Chris. You watched with equally rapt attention. Jacob had always held a very special place in your heart, and to even play a tiny role in this made your heart swell. You felt the tears sting your eyes, but they were different this time. They were happy. Not hurtful like they had been for so long.
Your eyes searched the playroom for Jaimie, and you found her, a bit to your shock, with Amanda. Even more shocking was she seemed to be getting through to her. As you quietly watched, you saw them smile at each other. You couldn't hear what they were saying, but whatever it was was working. Then your mouth almost hit the floor as you saw Amanda pull out her phone to snap a picture. You had never, in all the week's she'd been here, ever seen her reach out like that to anyone.
You cleared your throat to help try and clear the tears away. This was a moment to be smiling, not crying- not even happy tears.
You looked around you. Every child was smitten with Thor and Lady Sif and you could hardly believe it yourself. And suddenly the mood switched a full 180.
"Puny Midgardians, you believe yourself worthy of the presence of a god? Even one as witless as as Thor?" Loki growled. Your skin immediately grew goosebumps and you shivered as you turned to face Tom. And you could hardly believe your eyes. In front of you was not the man you had come to befriend over the last week, but a menacing and imposing animal. He snarled at the scene before him. "My dear brother...always so accommodating to Midgardians. What in the Nine Realms for? They serve no purpose but to be crushed under my boot."
"Loki, you know that to be false. These Midgardians want no quarrel with you, just leave them be. They are under my protection." 'Loki' continued, "An ant has no quarrel with a boot." This was turning out to be a bigger production than you ever thought it would be. "These little ones are here for healing after they have fought battles, many of them still fighting," 'Thor' explained.
"Oh? And I suppose that's supposed to stop me?" 'Loki' challenged with raised eyebrows. He looked over to you and a chill ran down your spine. "And what are you? You certainly aren't small enough to one of them. Am I to assume you're their healer?"
'Loki' took a step toward you, boots crunching on the soft tile. He turned into Tom just for a moment, enough time to mouth the words 'play along' to you.
"I am," you breathe out.
"Is that so? Well, if you're such a marvelous healer, I may take you back to Asgard with me...I need a healer of my own, and I intend to have the very best." Jacob watched the interaction between you two, and suddenly shouted, "You can't take her! She's *my* healer!! I won't let you!"
'Loki' chuckled evilly, and turned on his heel to face Jacob. 'Thor' stood at full attention to block any harm. "There will be no kidnappings today, brother. Nor any harm come these children." "For you maybe, Thor...but I do what I want!"
And with that, the two 'brothers' began a small fight play. This was far more than you ever thought possible. It only lasted a few seconds, and before long, 'Loki' was overpowered. 'Thor' produced the movie cuffs and slapped them on 'Loki'. And all the children cheered.
'Loki' looked around the room, defeated and sullen. As his eyes landed on you, you shuddered again. It was a little different this time. A little further south than the one before it. "I may return for you, Midgardian healer. In time." "You will not harm her, Loki. She is needed here to help these warriors recover from their own battles."
Jacob chimed in again, "You go back to Asgard, Loki! And don't you come back!!" All the children joined in, shouting "Yeah!" 'Thor' took Loki by one arm, while 'Sif' took the other. "We shall return in a moment, as soon as we find a holding place for Thor's ill-behaved brother. Dear Healer, do you know if a place where we can keep him until the Allfather calls him back home?" 'Sif' asked. Realizing she was talking to you, your head popped up and you replied, "Yes, there is a room he can wait in. I'll show you the way." You turn to lead the way out of the playroom and the three follow you. Jaimie and Chris drop Tom off and hurry back to the playroom to meet with more of the children. You turn to Tom and, in a whisper, tell him, "That was fucking incredible."
Once out of ear shot of the playroom, you turn to Tom. "I think Jacob would have been on your side until you threatened to take me."
He laughs. "I'm not so sure about that."
You walk together slowly down the hall and around the corner. A playful look in your eye. "Do you have to take the costume off?"
He grins. "Not right this second. Why?"
You slip your hand under his cape and grab the side of his back plate. "Perhaps I'd like to kneel for the rightful king of Asgard."
"Oh really?" His grin widens and he lifts his cuffed hands over your head, pulling you into a deep kiss. "Look how far you've fallen."
You know he can feel the the shudder run through you. "Maybe we should head back to my apartment THEN meet up with Chris and Jamie for dinner."
"That's as a spectacular idea."
You finally hear the pounding on the glass and look to the observation glass of the playroom. "Shit." Some of the children look shocked but Chris, Jamie and Jacob are grinning. Jacob gives Loki the thumbs up and Tom returns it as best he can. "I thought we were far enough away."
Tom ehehehehe's then kisses you again. "You're healing Loki in a way he desperately needs."
"Desperately?"
"He is a man whore afterall."
"And am I do be his latest conquest?"
"I believe it is you have conquered me." He lifts his arms above your head. "I'll go wait for by the elevator."
"You do that."
You hurry back into the playroom. "I can explain."
The older kids bust up laughing. You kneel next to Jacob. "I'm going to help heal Loki's heart during my vacation. You know how sad Loki is Jacob." You glance at Chris.
"Yea. If anyone can make Loki feel better, it's you." Chris slips you the key to the movie cuffs.
You kiss Jacob's forehead through the mask then hurry to the elevator.
Tom turns as you run up and the elevator doors open. The people in the lobby stare on as you push him back into the elevator. "You're mine now."
The doors close and you all but attack him. His hands still bound, it made it that much easier. You walk him back against the back wall of the elevator roughly, and slide your hands into his wig. You prayed it would stay put as you tugged on it gently. Tom didn't move his hands up this time, but further down, fingering the seam in your jeans. You moaned into his mouth and he bit your lip in response. His stroking got more insistent as the elevator glided down to the employee parking level on the deck.
With more than a pinch of luck, no one got on at any of the passing floors. It finally dinged at the two of you, and you both made a dash for you Jeep. Digging into your purse, you whipped your keys out and unlocked it. Tom struggled to get his door open while still in the cuffs, so as he finally managed the door, you leaned over in your seat and unlocked them. They fell from his wrists with a click. "Thank you, darling, I'm not sure I would have been able to do too much with those on," he said, rubbing his wrists. "We can't have that, not right now," you responded.
Tom grinned at you and raised an eyebrow. His Loki certainly was showing as he uttered to you, "Well, not in my case anyway. You, on the other hand..."
You were trying to keep your foot off the gas pedal but every few minutes you had to slow down. The cops in London tended to crack down pretty hard, especially with the car you drove. Apparently only criminals and hot rods drove Jeeps.
The car is hardly parked when you both jump out of the jeep heading up to your apartment. You’re digging in your bag for your apartment key as Tom wraps his hands around your waist and kisses your neck. With an evil grin he leans close to your ear and does a low Loki growl that makes your entire body shutter. “Oh you devious bastard.” You say closing your eyes leaning your head back against his shoulder a moment just trying to regain the ability to breathe in your excitement.
Your fingers grasp your apartment key and fumbles around opening the door. You turn around and wrap your arm around Tom’s neck kissing him deeply as the two of you nearly fall through the door. He reaches back with his foot kicking the door closed as he wraps his arms around your middle nearly picking you up off the floor walking you backwards further into the apartment.
The pair of you fall to the couch with him on top. The weight of the costume a delicious press as he settles between your legs, grinding the leather and metal into your softness. You squeak into his mouth. He leans up enough to gruffly tug the tee shirt off and fling it. He bends as best he can in the costume to kiss and bite the swell of your breasts. Your head is thrown back. He props himself up. "This isn't working the way I want."
You shove him onto his butt. "Sit down." You kneel between his legs. Your skillful fingers slipping between the plates and his erection. You find the snaps for his groin plate and it falls away. His bulge presses against the linen pants.
His groan is music when free him and take him into your mouth. His fingers close around your hair as his hips lift up. His gasp is hissed through gritted teeth. His thrusts move with your mouth.
He grabs your shoulders and pulls you up. "Pants off. Now." You wriggle out of the jeans. "Leave the panties on." He grabs your wrist and pulls you down into his lap. His fingers find your opening, hot and wet. You rest your hands on his shoulders, his at your waist
This was even more exciting then when you’d been together before. It never occurred to you just how hot you thought Loki was, all those dozens of times Jacob had made you watch the Thor and Avengers movies. You rub your body against him, before reaching down between you and stroking his already stiff hard member.
He closes his eyes leaning his head back and you can’t help but lean down and press your teeth to that long smooth muscled neck. Then you run your tongue up tracing the line over his chin to his lips. Good God that was a lot of pancake. Probably were going to abstain from the licking of his skin until he showered that crap off.
Reaching up you rub your tongue on your arm to get it off before cupping his face and devouring his lips. He holds your waist, as you reach down sliding him to your entrance that was beyond ready for him and he slowly pushes you down onto him. You close your eyes and you gasp as you let your weight drive you down onto him, filling your body completely. Breathing deeply he looks up at you, watching your face as your strong thighs start to move you up and back down as his hands move to grasp your hips to guide you.
Suddenly he looked up at you with his jaw set, and grabbed the back of your head. He balled your hair into his fist, pulling you closer to him. And he growled in your ear, "Say my name."
You clenched around him as you whisper, "Loki..." "Louder."
"Loki," you said, just a notch above. He pulled your hair again and thrust harder into you, and you unleashed a moan you knew he could feel in his bones. "I won't ask you again- Say. My. Name." You took a moment to glance at him. He was like an animal. His eyes wide, his pupils dilated, his teeth all but bared, like he would bite you at any moment. Just the sight of that made you almost come undone.
You began to slam down onto him faster, and the familiar tingling in your core started working its way into your fingertips, down to your toes, and in between your thighs. You started chanting almost incoherently, "Loki! Loki! Oh god!!" He reached down and started worrying your clit with the pad of his thumb, and it was all you needed. You spasmed around him, milking his cock for every fiber you could get from him. And you felt him release into you. He let go your hair as he pulled you to him, pressing his body to yours, and you threw your head back to ride out the rest of your orgasm.
Coming down and catching your breath, you leaned your head forward into his shoulder and placed your hand on his chest. He took it into his and kissed it- the back, your knuckles, your palm, everywhere he could touch. The two of you caught your breath slowly, and you asked him, "When do the costumes need to be returned?"
"Tomorrow morning," he replied. He was 'Tom' again. He reached up and stroked your hair. "I didn't realize you liked the costume so much," he said quietly.
"Neither did I," you laugh. "If only I had known...I would have called them sooner." He winked at you. "What time are we meeting Chris and Jaimie?"
"Not til later, darling," he answered. "Which gives us time for these," Tom suggested, holding up the cuffs with one long finger.
The next morning you open your eyes hearing the shower turned on in the bathroom. You roll over stretching your body with your arms over your head with a contented sigh. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself remembering the fun that you had with Tom the night before. You never had such a wonderful and enthusiastic lover like him.
Getting up you see that Tom has gathered the Loki costumed and set it out neatly for him to return to the Marvel Costume people. You rub your head slightly before going into the kitchen and putting a pot of coffee on. Morning wasn’t really your time, regardless of what had transpired the night before.
The water in the bathroom turns off as the coffee percolates on the stove. You yawn taking out some eggs and sausage cooking them up putting some toast in the toaster as well. You managed to get everything on the plate still hot and at the same time just in time for Tom to come out of the bathroom all washed, shaven, and clean for the day. “Morning darling.” He says kissing your cheek before taking his plate and sitting down at the table.
“Morning.” You grin mischievously, “Loki.” He grins thankful that he’d been able to come home with you still wearing the costume. The two of you did have quite the night and plenty of fun.
“So are you coming back to the hospital?” He questions.
“I’m taking my vacation time. Made a few conditions . . . or ultimatums and it looks as though they’re meet almost all of them.” You say sitting down starting to eat your own breakfast with a fresh cup of coffee.
“When will you be back?” He questions.
“Two weeks.” You answer taking a drink of your coffee. He slows his chewing.
“Two weeks?” He says a little surprised. “My shadowing at the hospital will be done by then.”
“Exsactly the point.” You say with a sigh, “Tom, things have been nothing but complicated since we started working together. Not just for us but for everyone on the floor. According to Chad not only was our department and the entire floor involved with that prank, half the hospital staff was. It’s distracting for other people taking attention away from their jobs. Their jobs that can’t afford to have their focus shifted on anything away from their patients.” You explain.
His eyes turn down as he pokes his food slightly, “I can understand that I suppose.” There it was again. That hung puppy dog look that made you instantly feel like the big green meanie. “I don’t like the idea of not seeing you every day though.”
“You wouldn’t be seeing me even if I was there. You’re moving onto another department today. You wouldn’t be shadowing me on my floor anymore.” You remind him.
“Still. If you were there I could pop in for lunch with you now and then. See how you’re doing, catch up a bit.” You still didn’t believe he was going to continue to show interest in you once he’d moved on to the next department, and after that leaving the hospital all together.
“It’s better this way. For both of us. For everyone involved really.” You take another drink of your coffee.
Tom slowly lays his utensils down. "I don't get you."
"Not this again."
"Yes. I've put up with a great deal in the last two weeks. And it's not because I'm a push over. It's because I genuinely like you and enjoy your company. When you're not being a purposely combative bitch."
"Hey!"
"Look. I'm not looking for forever love. But it is so bad that we can care about each other?"
"Yes." You push your half finished plate away. "Tom, you're great. You are literally perfect. But I'm not. And when you realize that, you'll have ruined my contentment."
"(Y/n), I know you're far from perfect. Despite what you think, I'm not perfect either." He pushes his plate away. "We agreed to have fun together but you keep getting in the way of that. I can accept your reasoning behind the vacation. But for you to say pushing me away is anything other than a scared little girl trying to protect herself from being hurt, you're lying to yourself as much as your lying to me." He stands and kisses your head before you can twist away. "Think about it. And call me." He gathers up the costume and leaves. You hear Chris's voice outside the door.
You sighed leaning back in your chair crossing your arms. That was a mouthful out of someone who didn’t know very much if anything about your past. You had kept those cards pretty close to your chest. You hated bringing others into your drama. Perhaps it was why you were so eager to help people. You could focus on them instead of your own tragic and pathetic life.”
“Jack ass.” You mumble under your breath as you clear the table and go into the kitchen to wash dishes and put them away.
A week goes by, and you were stubborn as ever still believing that Tom had long since moved on. You didn’t chase after guys. You did that before and it only ended up in heartbreak for you. Perhaps it was best to cut it off when he did, before you got to attached and could really get hurt by his lack of understanding.
It’s nearly 7pm when you’re sitting in at the end of your sofa reading a book and drinking some chamomile tea. It isn’t long before you start to doze off, and then your head falls back against the sofa and you’re fast asleep. This vacation you took gave you time to do a lot of things you’d been putting off. You finished spring cleaning your apartment, repaired a few things that needed to be mended or replaced, went shopping and got some new shoes finally, and actually went to get a mani-pedi earlier in the day. It was lovely. Maybe this vacation was really something you needed. When you went back into work, you’d be in a better mood and fully refreshed. In a much better mood and more pleasant to be around.
Every once in a while Tom would creep into your thoughts, but you would quickly push him right back out again. You had enough drama in your life, you didn’t need more. Besides, he’d be going off to film soon and then he would have really left you behind. He probably didn’t even give you another thought since he stormed out of your apartment.
But your mind would wonder back to the two nights you spent together. The boy had stamina, and you never went so many rounds with a guy in a night as you managed with him. Definitely fucking like bunny rabbits. But he was so handsome, so charismatic, and even though you found it annoying sometimes incredibly positive and optimistic. There was something attractive about that, even though cheery people did get on your nerves after a while.
Yet these thoughts and the feelings of longing and desire and pure lust they invoked were no match for your stubbornness. You even deleted his number out of your phone so you wouldn’t be weak and call him. No. You were getting far too attached. He seemed to like you so much, only God knew why.
It didn’t make any sense. You handed the man a free pass. What guy would pass that up? Hot and heavy sex and then able to walk away. Cleanly sever all ties, no muss, no fuss. You had fun together, why did he have to complicate things? Scared? Damn right you’re scared. As messy as your divorce was, as childish as your ex became . . . you were put off men completely for a long time. It was such a horrid experience. When you started dating again, it was strictly one night stands. Men you didn’t know because you wouldn’t have to see them again. Wouldn’t have to face them another day. Wouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit.
Even though you rationalized it in every way, talked yourself around all the cons of it, your mind still kept wondering back to him. But your pride and your stubbornness would never allow you to call him. After a week, he probably wasn’t even expecting it anymore. Moved on to the next piece of ass. But you did have fun though. A lot of fun. The kind of fun you could get used to.
It was such a conundrum.
On your last Monday off, you fell onto the couch with a huge sense of satisfaction. You had gotten so much accomplished that day- you finished cleaning out the last of your closet, and had decided on a new paint color for your bedroom. A smile crossed your face as you flipped through a magazine looking at the last little accessories you wanted to add to your new look. There was a knock at the door, and you called out, "Coming!" You padded across the carpet with your smile- you just couldn't seem to shake it, not that you wanted to- and slowly swung the door open. If you were looking for a way to lose your smile, you had found it. Because in the doorway with his hung puppy dog expression was Tom.
You could hardly speak, seeing him, and he looked like he only half-expected you to even open the door. After a moment, he finally spoke up.
"Hi. I'm really so sorry to come over unannounced," Tom squeaked out. He was holding something in his hand.
You found your words again as you replied, stuttering, "No, uh, it's all right. Um- yeah, it's fine."
"Could I come in? I have something for you," he asked. You hesitated. You knew where this might lead, and you had just gotten off that path. At least, you thought so. He could sense your apprehension and quickly added, "It's from Jacob, I promised him I would deliver it to you myself." Jacob. Now you were positive, that little boy would be the very death of you. You softened at the very mention of his name. "Oh...um, yeah. Come in," you told him as you opened the door for him. Tom followed behind you and shut the door behind him. You walked into the kitchen and pulled out a water bottle from the fridge and offered him one as well. "Thank you," he said accepting it. He sat on one of your new barstools and placed the contents of his hand on the counter.
"What is it you have from Jacob?" "Well, I went and saw him today after my shift. He really misses you, you know? I really don't think his current nurse is very good."
"I was afraid of that...he doesn't respond well with most of the other nurses," you said. "Yes. Well, he had made you this, and made me promise to bring it to you. He wouldn't take no for an answer," Tom finished explaining. He slid the piece of paper across the countertop to you and you picked it up. It was the cutest homemade creation you had ever seen. There were hearts and bubbles and stars, and even a drawing of Mjolnir on it. You were touched. You gasped quietly and placed a hand over your heart. Tears welled up in your eyes as you read the little boy's scribble:
"I miss you very much! Please come back and be my nurse soon!! Love Jacob. Ps, I hope Loki is feeling better too. He probably is because you are the best nurse ever, but he has to give you back. He promised!"
You sniffled. Tom watched you as you silently read. He watched your eyes get misty and threaten to spill over, and got up from his stool and walked over to you. He leaned on the counter facing you, as you re-read the card over and over, committing the words to your memory. You looked up at him with a nod. "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. And it came from a five-year-old boy."
"He certainly is a treasure, isn't he? And I have to tell you, he was very disappointed I wasn't there last week...because you just wouldn't believe who was there," Tom said with a smile. That million-watt smile that lit up an entire room. "Oh, I bet I can imagine who was there," you say in turn. He laughs and you feel him step closer to you. You recoil just a little, but he notices.
"Please don't do that." "Do what?" you ask, hoping he didn't mean what you thought he meant. "You know what. Pull away from me like I have the plague or something."
"I wasn't doing anything," you say, walking around him to the fridge to look for a magnet. It served a double purpose- you really did want to hang up Jacob's artwork on the fridge, but it also allowed you some breathing room from Tom. You needed a physical separation if you were to survive the next few minutes.
He conceded for the moment and let it go. Tom looked up you and asked, "How has your time off been?"
"Good. I'm getting a lot done. I didn't realize just how much gets away from you if you don't have time." He smiled knowing all too well what that was like, hardly ever being at home himself.
"Good, that's good to hear. I like to know you're happy. Even if not relaxing, like you should."
You looked at him and your pride started to rear its head again. 'Don't let him in, he's only going to hurt you, just like your ex. All of them.'
"I have to be honest with you," he says. "I actually have something from me, as well." You froze.
What could he possibly have? "What is it?" you ask. "Well, to be very honest, it's something you can give me."
Your stomach clenched and you couldn't blink. Your mouth went dry. "What?"
"I want to know why you haven't called me. And I want to know the real reason."
You take a breath looking at him. Why was he still pressing this? Why did he persist? Wasn’t the fact that you had just gone almost your entire vacation without contacting him proof that he was no match for you in the test of wills?
“I had a lot of things to do.” You say taking a sip of your water. “And as I understand it, you’ve been busy studying for your upcoming role.”
“Actually, it seems that the shooting schedule has been pushed back a few months. Production company complications it seems.” He admits.
You arch a brow, “What does that mean for you? Do you have anything lined up to fill your time until then?”
“Not much. A few commercials, my agency has a truckload of scripts for me to read. I’m certain I’ll be kept hopping.” He says leaning against the counter as it falls awkwardly silent again. He takes a breath, “You still haven’t given me a real answer. A diplomatic one maybe, but not a real one.” He looks at you, “Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“I didn’t. You did the pushing last time.” You counter almost immediately on the defensive.
Reaching up he rubs his eyes slightly. “When we were together, I mean really together. Those nights we spent. . . .completely wearing each other out . . . you were open with me. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable. I could feel it.” He turns towards you stepping closer looking down into your eyes. “You let me make love to you.” He says softly.
“No, we had sex. Just sex Tom.” You snap starting to turn away but he gently catches your wrist pulling you back.
“It’s not a dirty word, darling. But each time it comes up, each time such an emotion is even approached every single defense, every single wall you’ve built flies up and you start pushing me away again. Even caring about each other because it seems like you count it as gateway emotion to the one you fear the most.” He explains.
“That isn’t . . . . you don’t know what your. . . . you’re wrong.” How did he do that? That thing where he could just see right through you and read you like you were an open book for all to see. Everyone else just dismissed you as a hard ass bitch, moved on, and gave you a wide birth. Why did he insist on sticking around poking through the wreckage?
“No I’m not.” He says. “You can’t hide from me, darling. You’ve let me in now, and I’m not ready to leave yet.” He leans down a little closer his voice still soft and gentle, “You need someone who isn’t going to let you pull away. This life you’ve chosen for yourself, this life of loneliness? It’s a waste. You cut yourself off from everyone. You don’t have to do that.”
“What do you want me to say?” This was the most vulnerable you felt in a long time, and you really didn’t like it. “Do you want me to say how wrong you are? Do you want me to say that my divorce just about ripped me to shreds? That the whole reason he eviscerated me was because he wanted children and after 3 miscarriages he blamed me for causing them all? Like I was personally fucking up HIS life? Never mind my having an emotional nervous breakdown after the last one because he’d managed to convince me that it really was my fault. I spent almost a month under suicide watch in a county mental facility that he put me in. Oh he accused me of plenty on the way out the door, of cheating on him, of stealing from our joint accounts that HE cleaned out himself, of ruining our credit, of doing drugs, and anything else he could get away with. Betrayal?” You pulled your hand away from his. “You don’t even know the meaning of the word.”
Tom was silent a moment before speaking, “How long ago was this?” He questioned. It was a harsh moment, however you were opening up to him. Once again you were vulnerable with him, and this might be the only chance he had to get you to talk to him. Even if he could see how angry you were remembering all of this, talking of it out loud, and feeling the pain of it flooding back.
“8 years ago.” You cross your arms shaking your head, “He of course moved on with his life. Found a younger woman who could give him the children he wanted. He has 2 now. A boy and a girl. Last I heard he was expecting a 3rd. And they are all very happy. A perfect family.” Taking a breath you sigh, “I moved here 7 years ago. Because I couldn’t take it. I wanted to get as far away from my old life as I could. All of the allegations he held against me were dropped as there was no proof. There wouldn’t be, he made it all up. But he got out of paying alimony because of it. I had some friends who had connections; they pulled a few strings to get things scrubbed off my record so it wouldn’t interfere with my getting work. My career.”
He listens quietly and can see the tears that you’re holding back, fighting to keep from falling. You’d cried enough and you weren’t going to shed another tear over it. Reaching up you rubbed your temples slightly not believing you just told him all of that. No one here knew of any of that, you’d kept it quiet to yourself. Even though after you were released from the mental hospital, it was a condition that you continued seeing a therapist you didn’t. You weren’t crazy, you weren’t being paranoid, and somehow actually going to see a shrink or taking the meds they wanted you to take was like saying your Ex was right. All of those lies he told about you would only be proven if you let them force you to appointments and pills down your throat.
So many things made sense to him now. You had such a strong maternal instinct, you worked with kids, you cared about them so very much. You wanted to be a mother and your ex acting like the complete jackass he was towards you when he should have been understanding a supporting you only made your loss even more devastating. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could muster after listening to everything you tell him. You roll your eyes slightly not knowing why you let him push you into doing that. Tom walks closer looking down into your eyes as he takes your hands in his. “Not everyone is as self-centered as that, darling. Not everyone is only concerned with themselves and what they want. If all you want to be is friends with me, that’s fine. But you don’t have to be afraid that I’m going to hurt you or betray your trust because I promise you now, I give you my word that I will never turn on you like that.” He says sincerely looking into your eyes.
“It’s not that easy.” You say your voice much softer now even though you felt shaky and exposed inside. “You want children as much as I did; you’ve said it many times to many interviewers. This is not where you’re going to find them.”
He looks into your eyes before reaching up and gently sliding his fingers through your hair tucking it behind your ear. “Not every relationship has to lead to children. We have fun together, don’t we?” He questions.
“You know we do.” You say softly.
“So let’s keep having fun. There’s no reason not to. I enjoy your company very much.” He wraps his arms around you lacing his hands together at the small of your back drawing you closer looking down into your eyes. “Just spend some time together, doing whatever we want. Whatever we like that’s fun, or exciting, or just to enjoy one another. Would it be so terribly bad to have someone to do things with?” He questions. “What do you think?”
You sigh slightly looking up into his eyes not understanding him very well at all. “I think you’re a masochist.”
He smiles mischievously, “Not all the time.” He says in his low Loki growl. Oh God, you had dreams about that night you got to spend with the Norse trickster God. You’d done role play before but not on that level. Tom honestly didn’t half ass anything, and he could have in that particular situation and you wouldn’t mind one bit. You couldn’t suppress the smile that swept your face remembering just how exhilarating and exciting that entire night was. Tom grins, “See, we do have fun together.”
You look down a moment, “You aren’t going to try to push things past friends with benefits, right?”
He pauses before giving a nod, “If that isn’t something you want, I won’t press the issue. But just because I do something nice for you, or perhaps we’re having a day when we can’t keep our hands to ourselves, you don’t have to run. It’s not an indication that it’s going somewhere past the point you want it too. Alright?”
You think on it before giving a nod. He smiles and kisses your cheek before rubbing your shoulders wanting you to relax around him. He looks at his watch, “How about a late dinner?” He questions. “There’s a place not far away that serves all night long. It’s a bit of a club though.”
“How dressed up do I have to get?” You question.
He smiles, “No, no. Not that sort of a club. One with dancing, a DJ, tons of alcohol, that sort of thing.”
“Hmm.” You think about it before giving a nod, “Let me change.” He grins and kisses your cheek giving a nod as you go to your room and change into tight jeans, and a nice blouse before putting in ear rings and a necklace, putting on a small bit of eye makeup pulling on your sandals that showed off your pedicure you’d gotten earlier in the day. Was nice to have an excuse and opportunity to show it off. You look at the clock as it took you 20 minutes to get ready, definitely a new record.
Tom stands seeing you coming out of your room a jean jacket over your arm. “You look lovely.” He compliments with a smile taking your jacket and holding it for you as you slip your arms in it putting it on. He opens the door for you letting you out first before following after.
You ride together to the club in his Jag, and he reaches over and takes your hand. He strokes your knuckles with the pad of his thumb, tracing little patterns. As you arrive, you make a mental decision not to drink that night- it had already been stressful enough, and dealing with a hangover tomorrow morning would not help. You both climb out of the car, and Tom hands the keys to the valet and takes his ticket. "After you, my dear," he says, leading you through the door. "Such a gentleman," you tease. He smiles slyly at your remark.
The club hostess immediately recognizes who Tom is, and, being very appreciative of the situation, tucks the two of you in a smaller corner table with a good deal of privacy. The music isn't blaring, but just loud enough to give the place a definite party atmosphere. Tom orders for the two of you- just a couple light snacks almost. You talk about what's happened over the last week and his adventures in radiology.
"I legitimately thought I was going to pass out when I saw that x-ray! I have never in my life seen a broken bone like that, ever. The technician said I went white as a sheet!" Tom told you. All you could do was giggle at him. "And you're supposed to be playing a doctor? I don't know how you think you're going to pull this off, fainting in the x-ray department!" you joke with him through your laugh. He blushed a bit, perceptible even in the low lighting. "Yes, I know...I need to work on that part, don't I?"
"Yes, I think you do. Strong stomachs make good doctors, and I'd hate to see you not nail this role after all this work you've put in."
Your meals came and you began to eat slowly, still listening to him tell you about what else he had seen and done the past week. You didn't want to talk too much- you felt like you had said quite enough at home. But you were happy to listen. As you finished eating, you noticed the club really had turned into a dance club. And Tom was eager to get you out on the floor.
"Oh my, I don't know about that. I'm not a very good dancer, Tom," you tried to talk your way out of it. "No, I won't accept that answer- lets go! It'll be fun, I promise, come on!" he pleaded with you. He took your hand in his, looking so hopeful and excited. You really couldn't say no to that face, could you? Puppy dog eyes always worked on you, and Tom was the champion of puppy dog eyes. After a sigh, you conceded. "All right, let's go, Moves Like Jagger."
He couldn't hide an ounce of the excitement in his face as he all but dragged on you out onto the floor. He started dancing immediately, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms around you to keep you close. He had a move for every song, every tempo. He was so in his element, and you loved being a part of it in that moment. He spun you around and twirled you all over. He dipped you and writhed against you, and you felt his breath catch as he watched you. The more he danced, the more you wanted to match his pace, so you threw all caution aside and gave in to the music. Every fiber of your being poured itself into the beat and belonged to the music. You didn't even k ow what they were playing and you didn't even care at that moment. Tom watched you with a huge smile, and you laughed. At him, at yourself, at the fact that you were happy. You hadn't felt that in a long time. You forgot how good that felt.
You felt something else, too. As Tom danced with you, you felt your wall start to shrink. It was only a few bricks, but they were taken down. And he was holding them. 'Don't run,' your brain said to you. You paused. He was finishing up the most ridiculous move he'd done so far- he was spinning in circles with one hand raised high in the air, and his foot stomping. He turned to face you and saw you were still.
"Is everything all right? Are you tired?" he asked. You smiled and nodded. "Everything is fine," you answered, placing a hand in his cheek. He smiled back. "I am a little tired, though."
"Come on, let's get you home. It is a bit late, sweet," Tom said. You nodded and headed to the table for your jacket and purse. He went out to get the car, and it was ready by the time you made it outside.
He stayed with you that night. He knew how upset you had been earlier and didn't want you to be alone if you got upset again. As he lay behind you in bed, you could help but notice- he held his hand over your stomach. His thumb would twitch occasionally, rubbing the soft skin. It was comforting, to think that this part of you you thought was broken, was the first part he would cling to. The first part he would protect. You laced your fingers in between his and sighed. 'It's either you or Jacob that'll kill me...I just haven't decided which yet,' you thought to yourself as you slipped into sleep.
You press the pedal to floor and turn the wheel. "I'm gonna get your ass, Hiddleston!" His ehehehehe answered you. Your go cart moves up to the side of his but can't overtake him before the finish line. You both jerk to a stop.
"What was that?" He takes off his helmet. You lumber out of the go cart and hand yours off to the attendant.
"Yea yea." His hands rest on your waist as he walks you backward off the track. His lips find your neck but the intent is to tickle not arouse and that's just what they do. Your laughter draws attention.
"Batting cages."
"You're on." You both don helmets and grab a bat. The first ball you crack off into a bas hit. So is the second. The third is a home run.
"I probably should have warned you. I was Miss Softball for years running in high school."
"Cheeky." You blow him a kiss and take a couple more pitches before letting him have a go. After 10 swings, none of which are pretty, he hands you the bat. "What next?"
"Skee ball?"
"Skee ball." He moves behind you and takes your hands. You tilt your head back and nip his next.
You were glad he'd begged off work and dragged you out. "Loser cooks dinner."
"You're on. I hope your posh ass knows how to cook a steak on the grill cuz you're going down."
"Later." He growls and nips your ear. You close your eyes and let the sound vibrate through you.
"Evil bastard."
Walking around looking at Tom’s living room, you sip the glass of coke in your hand. It was much more posh then you imagined it was, but you’d never really lived in anything but a flat or apartment. It was lovely, but you had a feeling there was no way he did his own house keeping.
“So what do you think?” Tom says coming back into the living room.
“I’m thinking . . . there is no way you would ever really have to work in a hospital.” You give him a sly look taking a sip of your soda. “Did you ever have a real job?”
“Of course. I waited tables when I was a teenager.” You smile at the thought of that. “It’s where I learned that I never wanted to be rude to anyone if I could help it.” He gave you a look, “And acting is a real job, thank you very much.”
“Real lucrative maybe, but I wouldn’t call it a real job.” He takes a sip of his own drink putting his hand on his waist looking at you waiting to hear your theory. “Basically you get paid to be a kid all day. Play dress up, and pretend. You do it very well I grant you, but it’s pretty much just make-believe all day every day.”
He didn’t quite know how to respond to that. “I think you’ve over simplified it.” You just smile at him with a shrewd look taking another drink of your soda.
You look at your watch, “It’s getting late, I should be getting home.” Walking over to the bar you put down your glass. Tom quickly follows you gently catching your wrist.
“Actually . . . I thought you could stay here, with me, tonight. You’ve let me stay with you several times.” He offers. You look at him suspiciously a moment. “I have a very comfortable bed. It’s massive. Too massive for one person really.” He adds.
You keep your side eye on Tom as he continued to convince you to stay. It honestly wouldn't take much, but you so liked to see him beg, just a little. "Please? It really does get terribly lonely in there, by myself."
"I don't know, I mean, I don't even have a toothbrush over here," you tease. "I've got one for you. It's still in the package, never used it. It can be your very own to use," Tom sweetened the deal.
"My very own toothbrush?" you respond with an affect. "Well, how can a girl say no to *that*?" You laughed as Tom smiled and rolled his eyes. "Come on, you little git," you said as he wrapped an arm around you, leading you into his bedroom.
It was decorated as posh as the rest of his home, and very inviting. Especially the bed. It was a beautiful four-poster one, with a dark-stained headboard offset by clean white sheets. And it was just as massive as Tom had promised. You took a look around the room to see the rest of the furnishings. Either he had an interior decorator, or the man had taste. You went for the latter.
He moved into the bathroom and you heard him rummaging through the drawers. You followed behind him as he pulled a toothbrush out from a drawer and placed it on the counter for you. He saw your reflection in the mirror standing in the doorway, and started to blush. "I hope you don't mind, but...I took a bit of a liberty for you."
"What's that?"
"I remembered what kind of those cute little pajamas you like to wear, and I got you a new pair...to maybe just keep here, if that's all right." Tom got a bit sheepish. You bit your lip for a moment, and then remembered his speech from the other day. This was probably just one of those nice things he wanted to do for you that he talked about. And to be honest, it was quite nice- those cute little shorts you liked so much didn't exactly come cheap. You saw them sitting on the bathroom counter with the matching top, ready and waiting for you.
"That was very sweet of you, thank you," you responded. The words broke the tension on his face as he walked towards you. "I'll let you get ready, then."
You brushed your teeth and washed up, then slid your new pajamas on. He'd done good, even guessing your favorite color and your size correctly. You came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and saw him sitting on top of the blankets reading a script. "Is that for the show?" you ask. "Yeah, it is. I'm really getting into this character, he has a lot of depth and I think it'll be quite fun, actually."
As he talks, you pull the covers back on one side of the bed and slide into the sheets. And it was like sliding into a cloud made of marshmallows and puppy dogs, it was so soft. "Ohhhh my god, Tom...I am never leaving this bed, ever," you groan.
He grins slipping into the bed beside you, wrapping an arm around your warm body as he looks down into your eyes. “I wouldn’t mind that one bit. Of course, I’m not sure how much sleep you would be getting.”
You look up into his beautiful eyes. “Hmm. Ulterior motives to having me stay over I see?”
“Uh . . . no. No not at all.” He says withdrawing his arm not wanting you to think that he presumed or expected anything. “We don’t have to . . . . anything . . .”
Before he can draw back further you grin and reach up wrapping your arm around his neck pulling him back over you as you anxiously taste his lips. He’s only hesitant for a moment before he groans sliding his arms back underneath you.
After a moment you press your hands to his chest, wrapping your leg around his hip, with one swift move you flip him over onto his back straddling his abdomen. He grins looking up at you realizing that you had been teasing more than anything. He was still getting used to your sense of humor. “You are so easy.” You say sticking your tongue out at him slightly as he rests his hands to your thighs stroking his long fingers over them as he gazes at you. Your smile fades a little seeing the way he was looking at you, “What?”
A small smile remains on his lips as he shakes his head a little. He couldn’t help but appreciate how beautiful you were, but he was afraid now of complimenting you too much. “Nothing darling.” He says softly, before reaching up and caressing your face with the back of his fingers. His touch was so gentle, so tender.
He really was a sweet guy. Such a hopeless romantic, and so innocent in so many ways. It would have been nice to meet him before your idiot ex, Michael, managed to mind fuck you thoroughly. You were completely wrecked and jaded, and you were completely aware of that. Your hands rested on his strong firm chest. He’d been working out for a while, no doubt for his latest role. You imagined that most actors tried to keep themselves in shape for whatever might come along.
“Can I ask you something.” Tom says as his hands rest over your thighs again looking up at you. “Without you getting upset or feeling as though you have to bolt out my door?”
Oh this couldn’t be good. But you’d come to an understanding and so far you’d been getting along and obeying the rules. “Okay.” You say with a nod.
He gazes up at you another moment before sitting up beneath you wrapping his arms around you embracing your body tight to his. “Will you ever let me make love to you?” He whispers.
That was exactly what you were afraid of, “Tom, we talked about this already . . .”
“That isn’t what I mean.” He says quickly. “I find you . . . irresistible, unbelievably hot, and completely sexy. And the passion we share is . . . unfathomable. The lust between us is absolutely off the charts.” He quiets and you can feel him embrace you a bit tighter. “But I would very much like to try to take things slow. To take the time to appreciate and caress every inch of your beautiful body. Every line, every curve, not missing a single thing. I want to learn every part of you.”
You took a breath not certain if you wanted to let that happen. You’d been far too vulnerable and open with him already. Somehow, inside, it felt like it would give him power over you. When up until this point things seemed pretty even in your sexcapades. Reaching up you stroke his face with your fingertips looking down into his sincere and hopeful eyes. The way he looked at you, like you were the greatest thing since sliced bread. God, you wanted to let him in but you couldn’t. You try to speak to give him his answer but no words came out.
Closing your eyes you shake your head in a silent ‘no’ feeling a knot in your chest that you couldn’t just give in. Give him what he seemed to want so much. Resting your forehead against his you take a ragged breath hating yourself for not being able to let him in like that. “No” you whisper your voice cracking slightly almost as if to apologize.
Tom sighs in disappointment and closes his eyes, sliding his hand gently into your hair embracing you tight when he felt your tremble. You weren’t going to cry, your pride and disgust with yourself for being this way wouldn’t allow you to. He simply holds you close wishing there was some way to get you to trust him. Sex with you was absolutely phenomenal, wonderful, and exhilarating . . . . but he wanted desperately to show you what more there was beyond just carnal lust. To show you what it felt like to be touched and held by strong, caring hands that just wanted to show you how special and beautiful you really were.
Sitting on your couch dozing off while trying to read your book your cell phone rings pulling you back awake. You reach over picking it up off the coffee table and answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey you.” You hear Tom’s voice rubbing your eyes before looking at the clock.
“Do you know what time it is?” You question thinking it was rather late at night for him to be ringing you.
“Yes, but I needed to talk to you about something.” He begins. You sigh and wait to hear his excuse. “I’m going to meet a director who is interested in casting me in a leading role in an action movie. My agency has arranged for me to stay a week in Paris while things get sorted out and decided on. Would you like to come with me?”
You blink looking at the clock a moment thinking this a strange reason to be calling you at 2am. “I can’t. I have to work.”
“You still have 8 days of vacation left you can take and we’d only be there 5 days. Instead of just staying at home doing chores, this would be a real vacation for you.” He explains. “Luke always sets me up pretty well in great hotels. They spoil me rotten to be honest.” You fall silent as he waits to hear your answer. The pause draws out a bit further. “Come on, it’s a few days out of the country in one of those most beautiful cities in the world. Have you ever been there?”
“No. I’ve never set foot in France.” You admit.
“Well all the more reason for you to cease this opportunity. Come on, it’ll be fun. We could do some sightseeing, try out a few restaurants, some gourmet cuisine. . . . .” He continues.
“Uh, Tom. I’ve never been there but I know they consider Frog Legs to be France’s version of Fish and Chips. I don’t really want to spend a week munching on Kermit.” You answer.
“Come on darling, please?” He says.”You don’t have to pay for anything it’s all taken care of.” There’s a pause, “But the reason I called you this late is because we’d be leaving tomorrow night.”
He really was relentlessly persistent. You fall silent considering his offer, the pros and cons of it. Finally you sigh rubbing your eyes knowing in the end you’re just going to give in, “France?”
You settle into your seat on the train. Traveling with Tom certainly had it's advantages, and sitting in the Premier section of the Eurostar was definitely one of them. You had always wanted to take the train to Paris, but had never gotten around to it- work always got in the way. Tom sat to your right on the aisle seat and pulled the movie treatment out of his bag. "Is this the role they want you for?" you ask, peeking at the cover. "Yes, that's it. 'One In The Chamber'...it's a bit James Bond-ish to me, I think I like it."
"Maybe you'll be the next Sean Connery if you play this one right," you said positively. Tom sits down next to you and drawls in your ear in his best Scottish accent, "Do you really think so, my darling? I certainly hope I do." It sent a shiver down your spine. A sly smile sneaked across his face as you turned to look at him. "Don't do that again without warning, Mr. Hiddleston. We are in public, you know." He ehehehe'd at your reaction and kissed your temple. After a moment, he said to you, "Thank you, for coming. These things have a tendency to get terribly lonely when I'm by myself."
He turned to face him and smiled. "You're welcome. I've wanted to see Paris for a little while anyway, I've just never taken the time." "Well, I'm very glad you're taking it with me," he smiled back at you. As the train departed the station, he took your hand into his and started reading the treatment, looking for who-knows-what. You flipped through your own book, looking over at him occasionally. He was very deep in thought about it- leaning forward, brow furrowed, mouth set in almost a scowl. You breathed out a laugh at him, and he turned around catching you. "What's so funny, my dear?"
"You really are much too intense about this, it's just an action film."
"Maybe to you, but I take my job very seriously. It's not just some shoot-em-up. I like to think I have what it takes to fill the shoes of this character...even if you think acting isn't a real job," he defended. You could tell he was feeling just a bit attacked, and you felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." "No...but it's all right. Just, please don't say it again," Tom stated. You shook your head at him in agreement. "I won't, I promise."
He nodded. You stroked his the back of his hand with your thumb and he softened his expression. He couldn't stay mad at you, and you used it to your advantage this time. He leaned back from his spot hunched over the table to give you a small kiss.
As he pulled back, he glanced out the window and smiled wide. "Look," he told you. And your eyes widened. Right outside was the Eiffel Tower, lit up like a Christmas tree. Your jaw dropped as you gasped. You had always seen it in pictures and movies, but nothing compared to seeing it firsthand like this. "It's so beautiful!" you exclaimed. All you could do was stare, and you were thankful there was no one in the seats across from you to watch you gawk like a little girl. You felt Tom squeeze your hand and whisper to you, "Not so beautiful as other sights I see, darling."
You literally could not stop looking at the Eiffel Tower. The view from the balcony of your room was simply breathtaking. Tom's fingertips touched the small of your back. They glide up your spine and into your hair. You lean back into his hand. His lips taste like the wine in the glass in his hand. His tongue teases yours and rolling and curling, drawing you deeper. When he breaks away, he's stolen your breath. You slowly open your eyes. There's something in his as he's looking at you. A tight feeling eases in your chest but there's an emptiness there.
"This is the single most romantic moment in my life."
"I'm so very glad that I could share it with you." He glides his thumb over your lips.
"I'm glad it's you."
You turn and wrap your arms around him. He grabs you about the waist and takes to the bed. He lays you on your back and props himself over you.
"I'm not fooled, Tom. You planned this."
"At the last minute. Yes."
You gaze up at him, finding it hard to be angry at being manipulated.
"Why are you so persistent? Why me?"
"Why not? I've told you why I like you. This is one of the nice things I want to do for you."
He takes your lips, pressing your body into the mattress.
The passion between you two ignites. Eagerly getting each other out of your clothes, you can't kiss or touch each other enough. He tries to slow things down to let you enjoy the romance of the moment. But that's too close to letting him make love to you.
He relented for now, not wanting to stir the pot the very first night. He was bound and determined to do whatever it took for you to enjoy your first vacation in years. It was loud and rough and passionate, all the things you'd come to expect from being with Tom. And you loved it.
But it wasn't enough for him.
Afterward, you slipped into a satiated sleep. He didn't. Tom stayed awake and just watched you. He watched your chest rise and fall gently. He traced the lines of your body, careful not to wake you. He brushed the hair off your forehead and picked up a lock of it, playing with it in his fingers. He leaned over you and kissed you on the forehead and cheeks. Then he cupped your cheek and ran his thumb gently under your eye beside your nose.
Tom had to at least say it out loud, even if you couldn't hear him. He whispered, "I don't want to be just your friend anymore." He looked down at your sleeping figure with nothing but longing. He desperately searched for the courage to even think of saying that to you awake. But Tom knew you would only run. What would he have to do to keep that from happening? Whatever it was, he would do it.
“Hey hey hey!” Tom says wrapping his arms around you pulling you down off the railing. “What are you doing?”
“I dropped my pass . . . ticket . . . thingy.” You say pointing to where it had landed on the ledge.
“Good God, are you suicidal?” He questions reaching in his pocket taking out his and putting it in your jacket pocket.
“Apparently.” Giving him a look thinking he was very strange. “It’s only 3 levels.”
He blinks looking at you, “It’s over 1,000 feet down. 80 stories worth of down. I would rather not have to carry you home in an Altoids box!” He says pulling you further away from the railing.
“Tom, relax.” You shake your head looking around wondering if anyone else saw that. “I can think of better ways to end my life then taking a header off of a major world famous tourist attracti . . . .” You pause looking over the side, “Well, actually . . .” You take a step towards the railing and his eyes go wide wrapping his arm around your middle pulling you further away. You can’t help but laugh as he looks at you. He half laughs shaking his head realizing you were teasing him again.
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He says kissing your cheek. “We have reservations, come on.” Tom wraps his hand around yours as you head back to the lift.
“So they really have a restaurant up here?” You ask.
“Yup. It’s the ‘Le Jules Verne’ very top notch.” The two of you get into the lift and you arch a brow noticing this lift was different than the others.
“They have food, right? Not like . . . filet of . . . Muppet, or . . . eye of newt, toe of frog, wool of bat, tongue of dog . . . sort of thing?” He grins looking at you hearing you quoting the witches from Macbeth.
“I’ve been here once before and it was very good as I recall.” He says wrapping an arm around you.
You think another moment, “Is this menu in English?”
He chuckles and kisses your cheek wrapping his other arm around you holding you against him, “I’ve got you covered, darling.”
“That’s right. You can speak, read, and write French can’t you.” It seemed like something you would remember for more than two minutes at a time. Because every since you’d arrived in France he would randomly bust out talking to someone in French like it was his first language. You had never felt more uncultured and out of place in your entire life.
(Next Chapter -->)
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