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Finding Home	By : mama-ghostie-61542 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Black Veil Brides Views: 853 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: All I own are the plot and my OC's. Seriously, folks, I'm broke. Never met these guys; just a fluke dream I had and decided to expand on as cheap therapy. Please remember this is a work of fiction, as such, I don't get anything out of this.

Chapter List
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Leigh PoV
I let Jonny out of time out and checked on Paul and Charlie Rae. Then went and grabbed their Kindles for some quiet time. I heard Ash head to the bathroom and the shower come on.
Did he really think it was gonna be that easy? That I was easy? I decided, as I sat down in my easy chair, that I was gonna make his ass WORK for it, cause I felt like I was worth every second. That was one thing Clark had taught me, that I was worth every minute, that I was worth every ounce of fight. We had our bad times, and times where we had lawyers on the phone. But we also had moments in the sun, where I felt his love even when he wasn't in arms reach. Times when he made this rough and tumble tom-boy feel all delicate and girly.
I didn't used to think that way, though. If he had shown up before Clark, I would have had no problems with a one night stand, and been grateful he had even looked my way. But, I had grown up since then. In truth, I was glad Clark had even looked my way. Clark could have had his pick of any of the lane and bar bunnies at the old bowling lanes where we had met, but he picked me; the tiny, broken girl with a buzz cut, greasy jeans, and an attitude. Part of me still believed that I had already had my turn being the lucky one, being happy. I was ready to put myself through hell for my kids. But I wasn't willing to put them through hell.
Ash cleared his throat from the doorway, his hair wrapped up in a towel. "I'm sorry. I'm used to girls throwing themselves at me, and you still haven't. Not quite sure how to take that. I haven't had to work for a girl in a while. So, if I mess up, you need to tell me. Because I know I am gonna mess it all up. I've never been serious about anyone. And, yes, I have had girlfriends, but as soon as they start talking about weddings and babies, I take off. That said, I haven't come across someone like you. In all of the places I have seen and been, I know, for a fact, you are unique. No, more than unique-Rare."
"And how do you feel about a rare woman?"
"Well, the one looking at me is pretty awesome so far. She is full of fight and steel."
I laughed. "Really? She's got a head full of dreams, and a heart full of them, too. She's grown old enough to not believe in crazy love, but somehow she still does. She's too trusting sometimes, and too cynical others. She can be sarcastic and snarky with a caustic wit that burns most men."
He smiled softly, "Well, I can be an asshole. Sometimes, I don't listen, I can be a total jerk, and sometimes I concern myself more with work and my needs than with my partner or her needs. And I am not most men. But, what I see, is a strong, tough, stubborn, lonesome mama who life forced to be that way. It doesn't need to stay that way."
Just as he finished, chaos erupted in the boys room. I instantly went into 'Mom Mode'; assessing the situation, doling out punishments for bad behavior, and smoothing over bruised arms and egos. After that, I turned to him, "Are you sure you want this craziness, Ash?"
As he opened his mouth to answer, the craziness started again. Rolling my eyes, I sighed and said, "Hang on a minute."
I dealt with the chaos of three siblings, all around the same developmental age, and all with electronics. Jon had grabbed Paul's kindle and was playing both, while Paul was trying to get his back, and Jon was smacking him for it. All the while, Charlie Rae was yelling at them to stop. I looked back at him, my eyebrow up.
"Every minute," he smiled.
"Liar. No one can handle these guys for more than a few minutes. I've gotta go start to dig out, I still need to hit the shop today. Ma and Pop will be here in a bit to watch these monsters. So, we will see if you can handle them."
In ten minutes, there was a hand stopping my shovel. There stood Ash in Clark's old parka, "I'll do this, you go handle them."
"Seriously," I chuckled.
"Yes! It's been ten minutes and you have gone less than a foot," he said as he pulled Jon's stocking cap down over his ears.
"Well, it's powder over a heavy wet snow."
Then he got this mischevious sparkle in his eyes, "Is it," he said as he gently pushed me into a snowdrift.
I laughed, "Bastard," as I threw a handfull of snow at him.
He countered by throwing a snowball and a cheeky grin at me.
I dodged the snowball, and then, I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the snowdrift next to me.
"Oh, Really," his laughter echoing off of the houses in my neighborhood, as I pinned him in the snow. Swiftly, he flipped us so that we were reversed. Then, he buried his cool face in the crook of my neck.
I squealed and squirmed, trying to fight him off while laughing.
Ash leaned back and laughed, breathlessly, "So you like cold and to play around," after catching my shiver.

Ash PoV
I couldn't help myself. Between her sweet laughter and that sparkle in her eyes, I just couldnt stop myself, I shoved another handful of snow down the back of her coat.
"Son of a bitch,"she shrieked as she jumped.
Watching her jump and shriek was worth it all as she squirmed and laughed.
Then her parents pulled up and the spell we were both under was broken.
I watched as she put the shovel back up against the garage. I grabbed her hand and held on tight as I led her back into the house, both of us still giggling and smiling. In a few minutes, we were off to her shop.
Her shop wasn't far away from her house. When she unlocked the door, and we stepped in, I noticed there were shelves and shelves of yarn everywhere. There were pegs that had yarn hanging from them, and completed projects hanging on hooks on every third rack. I learned that yarn came in balls, hanks, and skeins. I thought it all came in skeins. At least that's all my old aunties bought. When she explained that all terry cloth was was knit cotton nubby, I started looking at her stock differently. These were the building blocks of the entire clothing industry.
"Teach me," I said as I turned to her.
"Teach you what?"
"How to knit. I want to know."
Leigh smiled and nodded, grabbing a package of what I learned were interchangable circular needles and a skein of yarn and motioned for me to sit down.
I settled on a floor pillow I had pulled next to where she sat on the floor. I watched and followed along as she showed me two different ways to cast on, how to purl, knit, increase, and decrease. She showed me how to do three different rib stitches; which were very easy once you got the hang of it. She showed me how to do things in the round. Then, how to use magic loop for two at a time things, like socks. But it was when she pulled out her binder full of her knitting designs, I felt almost like I had just met a kindred spirit. Then she taught me how to read a pattern. By then the sun was going down, and we closed up the shop.
'Ok, so she is really smart, too. Wonder where else her talents lay,' I thought to myself.
Helping her cook supper that night, I found that she could run circles around me in the kitchen, too. I listened as Leigh told me that her talent in this area, as well as others, was borne purely of necessity. She had learned the hard way how to cook. She had taught herself how to knit, how to crochet, and sew. How to use old worn out sheets to make clothes, and how to strip the yarn from an old worn out sweater to make a new one. There was something I couldn't place, in her eyes. It showed when she said that was how she grew up; you did for yourself and hoped you had enough to make it.
I was glad to have had my grandparents growing up, but she didn't really have anyone, even though her parents were there. They never paid much attention to the sensitive girl who grew into a strong, self-suffient woman. Leigh made jokes, now, about raising herself.
Suddenly, I truly understood her comment about having a heart full of dreams. I thought about how hard it must have been, to have been so isolated and ignored.

Leigh Pov
A simple but hardy supper of grilled chicken, mac and cheese, and a salad went on the table.
"Are you okay," I asked after we had eaten and while I was cleaning up.
"Why?"
"You have been pretty quiet for a bit. Kinda worries me, with you being out in the cold and all."
Ash laughed, "I was just thinking."
"Penny?"
"Wha.."
"Penny for your thoughts?"
He chuckled, "Just amazed again. You still have all this hope and faith, and after everything you have been through, too. I don't think I would have."
"Have you heard the Jason Aldean song about just getting it done?"
Ash nodded. "Yeah, the one with Luke Bryan and Eric Church in it."
I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I didn't have a choice but to just do it. My dad told me to quit dreaming and focus on school, and ma. Well, she has always hated my adaptability. I know my path isn't as straight and narrow as she would like. But I found ways to get around the blocks in my path to get what I needed. She said one time, 'I hate that you don't stop, that when there is something blocking your way, you whip off of the beaten path and go round abouting it. And while the rest of us are scratching our heads and wondering what you are doing, somehow you still end up right where you wanted to be. Sometimes, you come out looking worse for wear, but others its like you are better for the journey.'"
He looked at me, aghast that a mother would say that to her kid. "I thought parents were supposed to encourage you."
I just laughed, "Mine never did. Too much of a dreamer for my dad, and too much of a wild horse for my mother," she smiled and blinked, "It took Joey's mom teaching me to flip them the bird and do what I needed to, for me to see that I could do it myself. That I could fuel my own dreams. And every step since has been for me, not my parents."
"That blows! You shouldn't have needed to do it all by yourself."
"But I did and it made me into who I am today. One of the few women who will let you run, as long as I get to."
"Oh, no! That's not how that works! I get to run, you gotta stay home."
I quirked one eyebrow up. "Really?? I could tell you the same thing. But I know you won't."

Ash POV
She had me there. How had she figured that out.
"How did you," I started.
"Figure you out," she finished as she leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed her arms over her chest. "Sheer observation, Darlin'. It's the same way I know you are pretty reserved until you get to know someone. Then the gloves come off, and you're loud, wild, forward, and open. That's why I started talking first, because I knew you wouldn't. Sorry. I have gotten pretty good at reading people."
I chuckled, "Well, you had to be."
I watched as chaos rose again with bath time and getting the kids down for the night. But she handled it like an old pro and it wasn't too long that they were all three asleep. I was in awe of her again as she just soldiered on through tantrums and backtalk like it was nothing new. I must say though, she ran that house like a boss.
Afterwards, though, she fell into her chair with a huff and all the strong faded out of her until all that was left was an emotionally exhausted, lonesome woman. It physically hurt me to see the light in her eyes go out with her strength. I wondered what had happened.
I guess she could see it, because she said, after breathing for a minute, "He worked early overtime everyday. One morning, a trucker fell asleep at the wheel after an overnight run. That rig crossed the center line and Clark never had a chance. It was morning before the police came. I had just gotten the boys off to school and had to have my dad go get them. My brother was home the next night. He had used all of his leave and spent about a month here. He forced me to eat, forced me to get out of bed. I couldn't; I just couldn't."
I pulled her out of her chair and onto the couch with me, just to hold her. I was sure no one had since.
She continued, "If not for C.J. and Joey, I wouldn't have made it. Then, to add insult to injury, everyone expected me to suddenly wake up and be over it. That's not something you just get over. You learn to breathe around it, and eventually the pain gets easier, but it never really goes away."
I could feel the sadness and anger rolling off of her in waves. I grasped her hand, "I'm here."
She sighed and squeezed my hand, "C.J. made me get on with living. He told me that the world didn't stop, even though it sure felt like it had. So, I dragged myself up, like I have always done. Once the funeral was paid for, and the bills were taken care of, I had enough to fix some things I had to let go."
"Like what?"
"I got Lasik, that way I would never have to worry about my specs again. I invested half of the settlement from the trucking company, paid the house off, paid the shop off, fenced in the yard, and got the basement fixed into a playroom for the kids. The truck is the last of it. Between CJ and I, we loaded the freezer with ready made meals. At first, I couldn't eat. Anything I tried to eat just made me sick. After six months or so, I caught myself crying in front of Ma and she flipped out that I was still dealing with it. For two years she has been on my ass to settle back down. 'You can't handle anything on your own, much less a shop and them kids'."
I gently ran my thumb over the soft skin on the back of her hand. "I...," I paused. "I understand. We can go as slow as you need to."
"All I want right now is just a long hug and a cuddle."
I smiled, "Now, that I can do," I said as I wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders. She nuzzled against my chest, her arms around my ribs, and I felt light and strength flow through me, followed by a sense of peace and the strange feeling of being right where I belonged.
Leigh put on a movie while I got a blanket and put my feet on the coffee table, getting set to cuddle up with her. Then, she curled up next to me, my arm over her shoulder, holding her close. We watched the movie for a little bit until I noticed her breathing even out. I glanced down and she was sound asleep on my shoulder.
I eased myself off of the couch, then picked her up and put her into bed. Sliding in next to her, I pulled her close and held her for a moment, brushing my lips over her temple. I silently whispered a prayer for her. Then, I rolled over and went to sleep.
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Finding Home