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The Kensington Horror	By : ladymadrigal Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Queen Views: 1560 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Queen. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Body
Carlton wasn't at Bodowin Park when they went back by, so Maddy tried to call his apartment, but with no success.
"PAAAAAR - ARARARARRR - ARARARARRR - ARRRRRATYYYY! You have partied your way to Party Hearty Central and this is Partyman partying hearty! Partyman's partying him too hearty to party his way to the phone, so party your party-hearty message at the partying beep and Partyman will party you back party-hearty soon! PAAAR - ARARARRRR - ARARARARARRRR - ARRRRRATYYYYYYYY!"
"Wasn't home?" Brian said as she put the phone down without partying a party-hearty message at the partying beep.
"Or wasn't picking up," Maddy sighed. Brian went over to her, putting his hands on sho shoulders.
"Love, you're all tied up in knots," he said, working his fingers into her shoulders.
She turned around and leaagaiagainst him. "Just hold me, please."
He led her back over to the sofa and sat down. They ended up in a long kiss.....
~*~ Meanwhile, across town: "Okay, Mrs. Cuddles, now for this spell it says you have to be all nekky-nekky-nekkid. Now after you get all nekky-nekkid Mr. Cuddles says puhnugli meglanaff Cthulhu Relya waganagal fuhtaggan while Mrs. Cuddles does the sexy nekky nekkid dance ---- puhnugli meglanaff Cthulhu Relya waganagal fuhtaggan---- puhnugli meglanaff Cthulhu Relya waganagal fuhtaggan---- puhnugli meglanaff Cthulhu Relya waganagal fuhtaggan----"
~*~
"Brian, wait!" Maddy exclaimed, pushing the amorous guitarist off a bit. "What's going on?!"
"What do you mean, love?" Brian was alarmed rather than annoyed. Maddy had frozen, eyes wide, listening. Brian started to say that he couldn't hear anything, but before he could speak, Maddy's little hamster, who'd been foraging in his bowl, sat straight up, ears pricked and eyes wide, then made a noise almost like a cat hissing and fled back to his bed, burrowing under the shavings. At the same time, the budgie across the room stopped banging his toys around and froze, listening as well, feathers slowly ruffli
"What is that?!" Maddy exclaimed.
"What's---" Brian could hear it now, too, a rumbling noise like a very low jet - except it sounded like it was coming from below rather than above. And it wasn't quite a rumble, it was more like words, or an approximation thereof ---- Cthulhu fhtagn --- Cthulhu fhtagn ---- Cthulhu fhtagn ----- Cthulhu fhtagn....... It went on for almost two minutes before it slowly died away.
Brian looked at Maddy in the aftermath, shaking, his greeeckeecked eyes wide with fear. "What was that? It sounded like the--the voice in my nightmare---"
Maddy didn't reply for a moment. Across the room the budgie was chattering and fussing angrily.
"I have to call Freddie," she said at last, her voice shaky as well. "See if he can bring that book over. Darn it, I wish I knew who bought that Necronomicon!" She ran for the phone.
~*~
Across town: "Yeah! Did you hear that?! Yeah! Rock on! Partyman rocks ass! Speaking of which, Partyman wanna grab him a double handful of some hot little tushie----!" Carlton chased the squealing and naked Vikki out of the room, bellowing.
~*~
Over at the Mercurys'.....
"Are you ready, darling?"
"Whenever you are---"
A pause, some fumbling, then-----
"Darling, it -- it isn't going --- in--"
"It did before. Where are you trying to put it?"
"Here, darling. This --- porthole thingy. Back where you said."
"What porthole thingy?" Tianna peered around the back of the Mercury's computer. "Freddie, not there. That's the serial port. The one above it is the parallel port." They had just moved the computer to a newly-purchased computer table.
"Dear, the one above it is perpendicular, not parallel," Freddie pointed out.
"What?" She looked at him.
"That one's at a right angle to the floor. The one below it is the parallel one," he said.
"Pumpkin, parallel refers to the method of data transfer, not the position of the port relative to the floor," she pointed out. At least it had been an intelligent misassumption. "The one parallel to the floor is the serial port." She looked closer. "And more to the point, you can't plug a male cable into a male port. It just won't go."
"Who says, darling?" Freddie looked at her, a slow, wicked and utterly irresistible grin spreading slowly across his face.
"Freddie my love, there is no such thing as a gay computer," she said, taking the cable from him and plugging it in.
"Speaking of which, is your brother coming over for Christmas?" Freddie looked at her.
"Burke? He's supposed to," she replied, not commenting on the rather bizzare segue. "If we can get moved into the Lodge next month like we're supposed to, he said he'd stay with us, otherwise, he'd get a hotel."
"I don't mind having him here, dear. I like your family," Freddie said.
"He might be bringing his boyfriend with him, though. It depends. And this place is kind of cramped as it is." With the new arrival, they no longer had a guest bedroom.
"Well, I hope he knows I'm not throwing him out, dear," Freddie said. "And speaking of relations, I stopped off with Brimi and Maddy at that Mystic Grove place -- lovely store -- and the owner was telling Maddy about how that idiot Carlton was in there earlier looking for belladonna and hellbore and all sorts of horrid, nasty things. He tried to tell her it was for a love potion."
Tianna looked at him. "That sounds like something in those papers my dad faxed over. There was some kind of summoning incense mentioned --- hang on!" She ran to fetch the folder from the bedroom. It took a moment of shuffling through papers. "Here `tis. And it's nasty. Belladonna, euphorbium, roots of both hellbores, mistletoe, gum asatraxaca, gum bdellum, sulpher, lodestone, brain of a bat or blood of a cat---" She made a face, then looked at the next page. "Shit! Oh balls, Brian is going to be so pissed at me!"
"Why, dear?" He came to look.
"We had the answer about those weird stars all along!" She read it off. "The Fixed Star is Polaris, the Dog Star is Sirus, the Three-Lobed Star is actually Saturn, the Dragon's Star is Mars, the Eye of Yog-Sototh is Jupiter - must be the Great Red Spot - the Star of Three is the Belt of Orion, the Horse in the Sky is the Horsehead Nebula, the Necromancer's Star is -- it's either Venus or Mercury, they're not sure which -- and the Shepard's Crook is the Southern Cross!"
"Dear, we have to---" Freddie started, then looked around as a blue-eyed white cat strolled over and twined around his legs, purring. "Faron, darling!" He started to pick the cat up, but as he reached down, Faron backed off with a hiss, fur bristling and ears flattening.
"Dear---?" Freddie started, bewildered.
"What's that?!" Tianna's voice was alarmed.
"What's--?" Freddie broke off, thinking for a moment that a jet going overhead was about to crash, then realizing, "That's what I keep hearing in that dream!"
"Mom? Freddie?" Opal was trying to sound calm. "Do -- do you hear that?"
"Come here, darling." Freddie hugged his adopted daughter as Tianna ran to fetch the shrieking Jada from her crib, where she'd been napping. Faron had lept atop the back of a nearby chair, hissing.
"Okay, mignon, this proves we're not crazy," Freddie said shakily after the strange rumbling voices had faded away. "Something is going on."
"But what?" Opal demanded, still shaking.
"Bloody good question---sorry, darling---" Freddie looked around as Tianna came car carrying the hysterical Jada. Before he could say anything, the phone rang. Freddie, being closest, scooped it up. "Darling?"
"How did you know it was me?" It was, of course, Maddy.
"Dear, did you hear that?"
"How could I miss it?" she said wryly. "I think I need to take a look at that book you had."
"I'll have to fetch it from my mother," he said. "But dear, I think we have the answer to your question. Tigi found the names of those stars."
"She what?!" Maddy looked around at Brian. "Bri, Tigi found out what all those stars are!"
"Tell him we'll be over," Brian decided.
~*~
Half an hour later, Brian had the star charts spread out across the Mercurys' living room floor.
"Okay, now Jupiter---" Tianna was saying.
"Hold it---" Brian put his hand over a curious paw about to knock one of his place markers - actually a Scrabble tile -- across the room. "Don't even think about it, Sebastian."
The blue-eyed black cat did an even worse job of feigning innocence than Freddie usually did, but contented himself with swatting at Brian's hair instead. As he did, Freddie came in bearing a silver tray.
"Tea, darlings!" he announced. He'disteisted on doing it himself, tossing Phoebe out of the kitchen altogether.
"Thanks, Farroukh," Tianna took a cup, sipped at it - and did a wonderful spit take. "Damn, Freddie, this tastes like water. How many tea bags did you use?"
"It is a bit weak---" Maddy agreed, trying to put it as politely as she could.
Brian peered into his cup. "Freddie, did you even put a tea bag in this?"
"Of course I did, darling! What do you think I am, stu----" Freddie broke offhe rhe realized he might have forgotten something after all. "Or did I?"
Tianna burst out laughing. "You are such a nincompoop."
Freddie pouted briefly, then looked over Brian's shoulder. "Did you find anything out?"
Brian nodded. "Yeah. That was it. They all line up. Or they will. Tomorrow night at 11:23 everything will be in line."
Maddy went pale. "That's Samhein."
In other words, Halloween.....
~*~
Halloween morning dawned clear and bright, but by the time Maddy got to the office the sky was starting to skim over with a dull white veil ofuds.uds. Radio One was threatening a North Sea storm for that evening -exactly what they didn't need.
She was in the breakroom fixing her fourth cup of tea for the morning when a leather-and-denim clad werewolf appeared in the door. " Arrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Cozy, I hate to break it to you, but the full moon was a week and a half ago," she pointed out.
Cozy Powell removed the werewolf mask. "How did you know it was me?"
"I know tleatleather jacket," she pointed out.
"Did you hear about the earthquake in Kensington last night?" he said.
"Hear about it? I heard it ---well, felt it," she amended quickly.
"They were saying on the news that there's no fault line under London," Cozy said.
"They're looking into some sort of underground gas explosion." He frowned. "I was talking to Ronnie, though, and he said it almost sounded like words. Well, words but not words. Like it was in some weird language." They had walked back out into the main room.
Maddy was debating how much to tell him when she got to her desk and discovered her keyboard occupied by a rat. She was unfazed, but Cozy started and let out a little squeak.
"Oh, how cute!" she said, picking it up. It was a plush toy, of course, complete with trick-or-treat bag.
Cozy had to laugh at his own reaction, then said. "Where did it come from?"
In reply, Jim Beach poked his head out ofhis office with a grin. "Boo!" As he did, Holly came in, followed by the giggling Vikki.
"And then like Mr. Cuddles said let's like do the sexy naked dance and all, so like I took off all my clothes and I was like dancing and all and then Mr. Cuddles said like Mr. Bigbear wanted to like come out and play so like he and Mr. Bigbear like chased me all into the bedroom and all and then Mr. Cuddles asked if I like wanted to like give Mr. Bigbear his Cuddle-Bath and all and I said like yes and like then he like said he wanted to make sure Mr. Bigbear's secret treasure cave was like all all ready and all so like he said like lie down and all and then he said like he had to get the party sense ready but then he said we couldn't like use the party sense until tomorrow night which like is really tonight and all because the p sen sense is like for Spooky Day and all it isn't like for tonight which was like really last night and all but that was tonight when he said it so like anyway I was like giving Mr. Bigbear his Cuddle-Bath and all and Mr. Cuddles was like making sure that Mr. Bigbear's secret treasure cave was like all ready and all and then---"
Cozy looked at Maddy. "Do you have any idea what she's on about?"
Holly rolled her eyes on the way by. "It's something about that earthquake and some dumbasing ing her boyfriend was doing---"
Maddy let out a little squeak, then said, "Vikki, what was Carlton doing last night?" "Oh, like Maddy, it was like so wild and all!" Vikki burbled. "He like bought this really old book that's called like the Nekkid --something and he was like doing this old spell out of it and all and he said I like had to take off all my clothes and like do the sexy naked dance and all and like so I took off all my clothes and I was dancing and like he said this really weird spell from the book and all and then like everything like started shaking and then like when it was over he said that like Mr. Bigbear wanted to like come out and play and all and like "
"Vikki, is the name of the book the Necronomicon?" Maddy interrupted.
"I don't like know and all. He said it like meant the Nekkid Book " Vikki trailed off, Confused.
"God and Goddess " Maddy said. "Vikki, where is he? Is he at work?"
"I like think so and all " Vikki said, still bewildered.
Maddy said something that sounded like "damn" under her breath and ran for her phone. Coming from her it was as shocking as Rhett Butler's declaration in the year of '39. Shnchenched in the number, looking anxious.
"Royal Fish & Chips."
"Is Carlton Norman there? This is his cousin Maddy."
"Just a moment." The voice turned from the phone. "Hey, stupid! No, not you, the stupid Yank! Yeah, tell the idiot his cousin's on the phone!" A pause, then, "Beats me. I think she should have her DNA checked to see if she really is his cousin."
A second later, the phone was scooped up. "PAAR- ARARAR -ARARAR - ARRRRATYYYYY! This is Party Hearty Central, and this is Partyman partying hearty!"
"Carlton, it's Maddy. Did you buy that copy of the Necronomicon from Mystic Grove?"
"Ye- uh, did I what? No, no, Partyman don't be a-buying him no spooky books, no way no how no siree Bob!" Carlton declared.
"No siree Bob?" Maddy frowned into the phone. "Carlton, I'm serious. That book is dangerous. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble with it."
"Partyman didn't a-buy him no spooky book, Mads. Partyman don't a-know what you're a-partying about!" Carlteplieplied, too quickly. "Partyman gotta party om" He hung up the phone before Maddy could speak.
~*~
She went by the fish and chips at lunch, hoping to confront Carlton, but his boss told her he had already left for the day. Back at the office, she tried to call him, but nobody picked up. Vikki had giggingly left about noon, saying she had "like plans and all" and wouldn't be back.
About four, Maddy was just putting the phone down from another attempt to call Carltwhenwhen Brian came in.
"Hey, pretty baby," he said, giving her a hug and kiss hello.
"Bri, we're in trouble!" Maddy exclaimed, grabbing at the lapels ofhis coat. "Carlton has the Necronomicon!"
"What? Wait, hold on, love---" He gently took her by the shoulders. "How do you know? Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Briefly, she related what Vikki had told her. "I called him and he denied it, but I know he was lying. He hung up on me and now I can't get in touch with him at all."
Brian had gone quite pale. He looked at her, one hand over his mouth. "What are we going to do?"
"I don't know," she said, leaning against him. "And I'm scared."
He held her. "I thought of something today, love. The universe is still expanding. There's no way those stars and planets can come back to the same exact positions. "
Maddy shook her head. "That doesn't mean anything. If they're close enough, and the power's there, it'll work."
"Especially if some yob is trying to summon them," Brian said nervously, in a tone halfway between a statement and a question. "Now I'm scared."
"Come on. We have to find Freddie and Tianna," Maddy said, taking a deep breath and regaining her composure.
~*~
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The Kensington Horror