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This Time Around	By : Daisygirl1315 Category: Reality TV > American Idol/Pop Idol Views: 11904 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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I squeezed my eyes shut.

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

I didn’t just say that, did I?

Did I???

Of all things to say to Simon, I chose…chose…that?

There’s like, some sort of unspoken law about not using that phrase around him.

Much less, towards him!

And on top of that, he was unnervingly silent.

You could have heard a pin drop.

A glimmer of hope shot through me.

Maybe I didn’t really say it.

Maybe I just thought it!

Or, if I did say it, maybe he didn’t hear me.

Nah, not a chance of that, I’m entirely too loud during sex.

Keeping my left eye shut I peeked at him with my right eye.

He was staring at me, his expression unchanged.

Oh great.

I closed my eyes again.

Just keep going, I encouraged myself. Maybe if I just give him a mind-blowing orgasm he’ll forget I ever said anything.

Besides, I couldn’t stand this.

He was filling me to the core.

My walls continued to clench around him as we breathed heavily.

I needed him to finish what he started.

I needed this orgasm.

Especially since it was probably going to be my last one with him.

Slowly, I began moving my hips.

But he remained motionless.

Frozen.

I opened my eyes to look at him, thrusting my hips again in an attempt to continue.

Silently pleading with him to drop it.

"Paula-"he began, leaning his weight forward to stop me.

"Shh," I said, closing my eyes once more.

"Paula I-"

"Please Simon, just…don’t say anything…okay?" I pleaded, reaching out blindly to cover his mouth.

His expression softened and he kissed me softly on my palm as he slowly began moving inside of me again.

~**~

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, I chided myself as we stood backstage of the Leno set, waiting for our introduction.

Simon and I hadn’t spoken a word since my confession.

Part of me was glad I stopped him from completing his sentence.

The other part of me wished I’d just let him finish, so I knew which insult he would have used on me.

"Paula, I don’t feel the same way," I could hear him saying.

"Paula, I didn’t want you to become emotionally involved. This was just to me sex, nothing more."

"Paula, I think this should be the last time we sleep together."

"Paula, I think you’re out of your bloody mind."

I cringed.

"So you’ve finally admitted it," came a soft whisper from behind me.

I jumped, Simon’s presence startling me.

"Oh God, Simon," I covered my face with my hands and turned farther away from him, determined to not let him know how mortified I was.

He tugged on my arms, attempting to pull my hands away from my face, but to no avail.

Giving up, he leaned in again, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

"You don’t have to be embarrassed darling. I’m just glad you’ve finally come out with it!" he teased, his voice light, taking the opportunity to place a few light kisses along my neck and behind my ear.

I shivered.

He knew I loved that.

Damn him.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about," I said, my response muffled by my hands.

"What was that sweetheart?" he asked, releasing me and turning me around to face him.

My hands remained on my face, my fingers clenched tightly.

He tenderly pried them apart and looked into my eyes through the spaces.

I could see his brown eyes peeking through, practically sparkling with amusement.

Dropping my hands and placing them on his chest, I gave him a gentle, but firm, shove and grinned.

"I said, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about’!"

"Oh, that’s funny, because I could have sworn you finally admitted you were in love with me," he kidded. "You know, it really is about time. I know you’ve been harboring those feelings for quite a while. That can’t be good for your health."

"Nooo," I drawled, "What I said was, I want to be above you, you know, like, on top of you," I said, wincing at my poor argument.

He burst into laughter.

I couldn’t help but grin.

He seemed to be quite amused by my antics.

"I see three years of being around me still hasn’t taught you how to deliver a good comeback. But that’s okay, who can blame you? I know being in love with me makes it hard to concentrate on other things," he said, feigning a sympathetic look as he rubbed my lower back.

I glared at him, the wheels in my mind turning.

Trying to come up with something, anything…

Finally I just shrugged my shoulders.

I was defeated.

Yet again.

With a laugh he pulled me into a hug, leaning his head down next to mine.

"Well, just so you know," he said in my ear, lowering his voice to a whisper, "I-,"

"You all know my first guests, from the hit show American Idol, it’s a pleasure to have them here to kick start our week in Los Vegas. Please welcome, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell!"

"Simon, Paula?" Randy asked. "C’mon, time to go."

~**~

"Now, is it just me, or do I detect some sexual tension between you and Paula, this year?" Jay Leno asked.

I froze.

"I thought you were going to say between me and Randy," Simon bantered.

I laughed at his joke as relief shot through me.

Why did I get so goddamned nervous at those questions?

Why is it he can answer those questions with such ease, yet I freeze up like a mindless idiot?

Maybe because you’re in love with me, I could practically hear Simon answering me.

"Paula is my poodle," Simon told Jay.

"I’m your…poodle," I echoed, confused.

What the hell did that mean?

"My poodle," he repeated.

"Your poodle," I echoed again.

Was that some sort of sexual joke, or…what?

‘Cause we hadn’t done it doggie style in a few weeks.

Although it was one of his favorite positions…

"It’s like you know if you have a little dog, you look after the dog by stroking it and the dog..," he trailed off.

I shook my head at the audience.

His analogies were getting as bad as mine!

"Why, why do you put up with this?" Jay asked me, after making some sort of snide sexual remark to Simon.

"Simon- Simon, I don’t know, it’s like I’m sitting between-," I began.

Simon cut me off as he rested his hand lightly on my arm.

"Let me ask you a question," he interrupted, staring at me intently. "Are you in love with me?"

I turned my face away from him and looked at the crowd, mouth agape.

I couldn’t believe he was doing this…on national television!!

The nerve!

"Okay Paula, let’s put it out there, tell the truth!" Randy encouraged me.

"I’m being serious!" Simon said at the same time, his thumb caressing my forearm.

I was going to kill him when this was over.

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth.

"With a straight face, no laughing," I began.

I debated for a few seconds, knowing I wouldn’t be able to lie about this if I was looking at him.

Wait…lie? I stopped myself. Does that mean I actually am in love with him?

I mentally shook the thoughts away.

I’d have to ponder that later.

As I snapped back to reality, I realized the fact that I wasn’t answering his question was making me look more and more suspicious.

Denial, I decided.

If ever in question, deny, deny, deny!!

"I.am.not…in.love.with.you," I finished, unable to keep a straight face or hold back my giggles when my eyes met Simon’s.

"Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing?" Simon beamed, placing his hand under my chin as I grinned at him.

He already knew the answer.

"She is," he confirmed to Jay.

I am, I echoed in my mind, smiling so wide my jaws literally ached.

And, in watching Simon, I could almost swear his face was a little flushed.

In fact, he was practically glowing.
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This Time Around