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Chipped Black Nail Polish
By : druscillaryan
Category: My Chemical Romance > General
Views: 2660 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. - Chapter List
***This is the chapter that was left out. It's here now.***
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. Taking Back Sunday owns the song. Don’t sue.
Chipped Black Nail Polish
Part Five: You Are Me
We're gonna die like this you know
Miserable and old
I felt the bed move slightly as you lifted the sheets and slid under, your back to me. I chanced a brief glimpse of you to confirm you were in fetal position. You haven't slept any other way since this began. Your arms against your chest and your knees nearly touching them. Your hair is still slightly wet from the shower.
You've trained yourself to fall asleep quickly, knowing I rarely wake you up. When you are sleeping, you are 'safe'. Within five minutes your breathing has slowed and your shoulders have relaxed slightly. You don't know that I watch you sleep. This is the only time you resemble the person you were six months ago, although the resemblance is slight. Occasionally a pure smile will flit across your lips or you'll mumble my name without fear in your voice.
And it's easier to watch you sleep than to actually sleep. The drugs I inhale to keep you from finding out I have nightmares. The steps I take to ensure I'll never have to thank you for waking me up because after a dream like that I could never hit you, as much as I might like to.
I get up and walk to the kitchen, pour myself a vodka and water, then lean against the doorframe, watching you sleep. You shift and I see your face contort slightly from the pain I inflicted on you earlier. Then you’re calm again. I count your breaths. You’ve relaxed slightly now and your legs are straighter, although your arms are still clutched to your chest, almost as if you’re praying.
I take a drink and set the glass on the dresser before kneeling next to the bed, staring at you. I could break you right now, shatter you so thoroughly you’ll never be put back together. I could force your eyes to open as I break you for the last time.
It takes me a second to realize I’m crying; I haven’t done it in such a long time. You make a whining nose in the back of your throat and my name tumbles precariously from your lips. As is typical, you terrify me. But this time I run.
I run past the door, past the bathroom, through the living room where I grab a set of keys and run out to the car without bothering to put on shoes or a shirt. I pull out of the driveway in a frenzy, leaving behind black streaks and some pissed off neighbors. Did I wake you up?
I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t have cigarettes, I don’t have a wallet. Hell, I’m not wearing anything but a pair of sweats. I fucking hate you. I used to love you so much I could feel my heart break every second I was away from you. I used to love you so much I would have died to spare you the pain that I put you through now.
I woke up one morning and you were lying in bed sleeping and you were the ugliest thing I’d ever seen. Why did you change? I hated you and it’s only intensified since then.
You shouldn’t change like that so quickly in front of someone who loves you, someone you claim to love.
You turned into a fucking mirror, so I had to return the favor. You became me and I became you and now we’re stuck in a mirage of fog and a maze of lies. The pendulum swings back and forth and all that you do is cry and stare at me like I created this nightmare.
I do an illegal turn in the middle of the road. I’m going to beat you so badly I can’t even recognize you anymore. Then, maybe, I can finally stop staring at you and wondering when you’ll change back.
I turn the car off and run into the house but when I see who sleeping in bed, mouth slightly open and a small trickle of drool running down your lips and onto the white sheets, I turn into me. Because for a second, you’re you. Unforgiving and annoying and unafraid.
And me?
You know I’m scared of everything.
---TBC---- You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
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