Crimson blue | By : weelow Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Notes: Sorry, this is quite a short chapter. Hope you like it anyway. Happenings of the same night 4.00 a.m.
Crimson blue
Chapter 5: Don’t you see it? Even now?
Someone called his name and through the shivering shadows Kaoru saw a man walking towards him. The style was easygoing and calm. No other in the world walked like that.
They looked at each other serious.
“Why did you call my name?” Kaoru asked.
“Don’t you see it? Even now?”
“I’m not very good with these kind of things.”
“I see your not”, Die laughed.
“So why did you?”
“I’m not going to tell you.”
“And why’s that?”
“I don’t have permission to do that. You need to figure it out yourself.”
Kaoru wrinkled his forehead.
“Don’t give me that look”, Die laughed again.
Kaoru took a step closer and shadows grew bigger.
“He thought I was standing between you”, Kaoru said and felt something burning behind his eyes. Tears they were.
Die gave him a long look and asked then slowly.
“You weren’t?“
"Die…“ Kaoru sighed.
He leaned closer and oh, his mouth tasted so sweet. He became breathless.
Kaoru woke up. He was breathing heavily and cold sweat made him shiver.
It was a dream. Only a dream. It felt so real.
Kaoru could still taste Die in his mouth.
His clock said it was four in the morning. It was still dark.
‘You weren’t?’ still echoed in his mind. Was he stand-ing between Kisaki and Die? Even without noticing?
Kaoru laid down and tried to calm down. What was that dream? He kissing Die. Kissing him to mouth.
Kaoru closed his eyes. It felt so real.
And partly Kaoru felt a bit sorry it was only a dream.
Now what was he thinking?
All the huge happenings from resent days had messed his head.
After La:Sadie’s last live Kisaki had left them. He had backed his stuff and moved into another city.
Kyo had been miserable for days and Kaoru still wondered how he had been able to sing in that last concert of theirs. After announcing their disbanding the fans had been really sorry for them and Kaoru felt that their reac-tion was hitting Kyo hardest.
Luckily Toshiya had been there for the singer, talking about regular and daily stuff and that way keeping his mind in order.
They hadn’t talked to each other so much after the distinguishing Kisaki and Kaoru felt scared. It felt like some kind of important bond between them had been broken.
What if they couldn’t never feel that connection again?
*
“Moon, moon, you, me, blood, moon…” Kyo said again and again, repeating the words in a silent fury.
He lied on the floor on his stomach and all around him there was squeezed paper balls.
“Bury, fall, turn, love…” There certainly was some kind of poetry coming, but it seemed stumbling.
The pencil rose to Kyo’s lips, he bite the peak of the pencil and tried to remember exactly what Toshiya had said earlier at the same day to Die.
Kyo wasn’t at the room but he had heard it all.
“Why is Kyo-san torturing himself?” Toshiya had asked from Die and at the same time it had surprised Kyo and made him felt a bit embarrassed.
“Why do you ask?”
“I can see he’s hurt. I don’t want to see him suffer.”
“I just don’t know Toshiya”, Die had answered. “It would be so easier…But he can't stop acting like a little boy. No he can't stop acting like a little baby boy.”
“Maybe he thinks Kisaki is under his responsibility.”
“Well…” Kyo didn’t see Die’s face but his voice told that he started to consider this statement.
“Kyo’s sensing it all. And I think maybe he thought it would be his job to try to fix your band but when he was not capable of doing it he sees it as his fault. And now La:Sadie’s does not exist anymore.”
Kyo felt like screaming. Kisaki made him see red.
He was such a pushover with every single little thing. He possessed me and still does.
Maybe I’m some kind of a freak of nature, being bewitched by this moron, being controlled and still returning to him, allowing him to do it.
Moon. Blood. Red blood. Crimson blood. Crimson sky… Toshiya. Toshiya’s smile. His black hair. His lap. His arms.
He smells good by the way.
No, that’s not credible sentence at all.
His arms, his jacket. Blue. Blue moon. Is that a cliché ?
It is.
But it is meant to be blue. The moon, you know.
Of course I know!
I am I!
You idiot…
Crimson sky, blue moon…
And Kyo wrote to the tiny piece of paper:
‘I am captivated by the crimson sky, by the blue moon’
Kyo felt a bit dizzy. These were the lyrics for the song he was not sure no-one was ever going to compose. The lyrics that maybe no-one was ever going to sing.
‘I am captivated by the crimson sky, by the blue moon, mired in the counterfeit dream that was buried against my will.’
My dream, our beloved La:Sadie’s, gone forever.
Someone once had said that after a vanished dream, one have to grab a new one and start to reach after it. That someone didn’t know what he was talking about.
After leaving so many band behind, after so many times realizing things were not going to work, he had really have had his fate in La:Sadie’s. And now Kisaki was gone.
Kyo had to admit it was because of him. He was the one breaking the game this time, though it had been in every one’s mind.
He remembered how it had felt saying those words. He had been recalling them thousands of times by now. He had felt so tired and then they just had come out.
And now La:Sadie’s had vanished. It was a cold hand around his heart.
It was like he was not meant to success in reaching his dream. Universe did not want him to sing. Reality forced him into silence.
It sounded really stupid, but that was how it felt. And he had not believed in destiny. Never before. This all had twisted his head so it hurted.
Was this the song that was going to never be sung?
It was four in the morning and Kyo led his head touch the floor. Before he realized that he was tired he fell asleep.
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