Medusa | By : dirusninjou Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 2467 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter 5
Kyo walked quickly down the hall and stopped in front of his friend’s door, taking a moment to put out his cigarette before knocking. He didn’t get the chance to knock before the sound of a small dog barking filled the air, and the door was soon opened.
“Kyo? Is everything okay?” Shinya was standing in front of him, holding the door open enough for the blonde to go inside.
“Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you.” the vocalist answered, walking to the couch quickly. Shinya stared at him a moment, slightly confused by the way he was acting.
“…okay….” the drummer made his way to the chair and sat down, facing the smaller man. “What’s up?”
“Give me a moment. I wasn’t expecting you to answer the door before I knocked… I just need to figure out exactly what I want to say.” after a couple minutes of Kyo looking confused, and scratching his head at random intervals, he sighed and leaned forward, catching the wandering attention of the drummer once again. “How bad would a secret have to be to make you not want to be a friend?” Kyo maintained a straight face, and eye contact with Shinya as he asked the question.
“What?” Shinya was taken aback by the mere thought that Kyo was talking about them no longer being friends.
“How bad would a sec--”
“No, not ‘what did you say’, ‘what did you mean?’” Shinya knew it was best in that situation to cut the vocalist off, as opposed to just letting him finish and then ask the correct question.
“Oh.. Um… would I risk losing one of my best friends if I told him a secret… a very big secret?” Kyo’s eyes shifted to a spot on the floor as he restated the question, not really wanting to see the look the drummer was undoubtedly giving him.
“I don’t think there -is- anything you could say to make me want to stop being your friend. Why would you think that there was?” Kyo shrugged in response.
“So.. I can tell you pretty much anything, and we will still be friends, right?” This time, Kyo wanted to be sure he saw exactly what Shinya’s face looked like when he answered, and he turned his attention once again to the girl-like face.
“Yes.” As Shinya answered the question, he wondered where he might have given Kyo a different impression.
Kyo nodded. “Cool… now.. Where to start…?” Kyo thought for another minute, this time, not losing the younger man’s attention. In fact, Shinya never once turned his eyes from the blonde as he worked to figure out what he was going to say. Finally, he rubbed his hands together and sighed, before taking in a deep breath and starting what he had come to say. “I think I’m falling for Kaoru. I don’t know how, or why, but I am pretty sure that is what it is.” Shinya felt his heart sink the moment he heard their leader’s name.
“Really?” Shinya tried to make his voice sound as though it didn’t matter to him, but found it to be more difficult than he would have liked.
“Yeah.”
“What do you like about him?” Each word felt as though it had to be forced out of his mouth. The drummer wished that he had not already said that nothing would bother him, and was trying to act as though it didn’t.
“Oh, god… where to start…. I think the first thing I noticed about him was his eyes. The way they seem to show every emotion a person can experience, and yet, no emotion at all. His smile is also very captivating. I like the way his voice sounds. Especially when he gets angry.” the more Kyo said, the more Shinya hurt. He was on the verge of tears soon and was desperately in need of an end, but he remained quite for nearly an hour as Kyo continued listing the things he liked about the older man and all the reasons why he like them. “So, do you think I’m cra--”
“Are you thirsty?” Shinya couldn’t take anymore. He had endured enough, and if he was made to listen to one more word, he was going to break down for sure. Kyo shot the drummer a questioning glare, as he was acting rather strange.
“No… Did you even hear what I was saying?” Kyo was starting to feel somewhat betrayed by the younger man.
“Yeah, you were talking about how you like Kaoru, and what you like about him, and why you like those things.” Shinya answered, somewhat bitterly. Kyo was in a state of shock at the way Shinya was acting. “You were talking about how you like -Kaoru’s- eyes. And -Kaoru’s- voice…. And the way -Kaoru- always has to be in charge. How -Kaoru- holds the fact that we all owe him for helping out so long ago over our heads, and threatens us every time we try to show some sign of independence… how -Kaoru- doesn’t like when someone else is equal to, or better than him.” with each mention of Kaoru’s name, Shinya’s voice grew dark and biting. The drummer found himself standing, though he wasn’t sure when he had gotten up. Kyo stared up at the younger man, fear and anger washing over him.
“You’re just jealous.” Kyo spat, more angry than afraid of losing a friend who would stab him in the back.
“Jealous? Of whom? You…? Or Kaoru?” Shinya asked, slowly advancing on the smaller man. Kyo quickly made his way to the door.
“You’re jealous, because after I leave here, I’m going to go up to Kaoru and tell him exactly how I feel!”
“And what? You think that will mean anything to him? You think he’s going to suddenly realize he loves you? That just because you say something everything will be fine?” Kyo was now pinned against the door, Shinya’s face so close that the smaller man could feel his breath on his face. Kyo blindly searched for the doorknob. “Well, I’ve got news for you… It. Won’t. Matter.” Shinya opened the door and all but shoved the confused vocalist out of his apartment, then turned and threw himself on the couch while tears streamed down his face.
* * *
As Toshiya rounded the corner, an angry Kyo ran past him and down the stairs. The blue haired bassist had to press himself to the wall to keep the smaller man from running into him. He shrugged, and continued to his friend’s door.
It took a moment for Shinya to get up and answer the door after Miyu started barking. When the drummer did open the door, he was wiping the tears from his face.
“Are you crying?” Shinya hadn’t moved fast enough to keep the bassist from noticing.
“It’s nothing. What do you need?” Toshiya didn’t believe him, but he figured he had made enough people angry with him for one day and decided to leave it alone.
“I need someone to talk to.” Toshiya said, his voice hinting that he was desperate and somewhat depressed.
“Come in.” The drummer held the door for the bassist to enter. The older man walked in and sat down on the couch, where he waited quietly for his host’s return. “What do you need to talk about?” Shinya said, as he sat down. Almost as soon as the sentence was finished, Toshiya was doubled over on the floor at his feet shaking violently from sobbing. “Toshiya!” Shinya quickly got on the floor and sat next to him, rubbing his back in an attempt to try and comfort him.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know… who else… to turn to…” Toshiya lifted his face to Shinya, and the younger man knew why the bassist had come to him. The red haired drummer took the crying bassist in his arms and held him close in a tight embrace.
“It’s okay. What happened?” Shinya asked, feeling stupid for the latter question. Toshiya told the younger man everything that had happened that morning. About how he had asked if they should have gone to the hospital, and Die had gotten upset. About the fact that Die wouldn’t even so much as look at him when he tried to explain that he had put the food in the fridge because he was going to eat it later.
“I don’t know why he is so angry with me. I just wanted to see how Kyo was, you know?”
“I know.”
“Which reminds me.” Toshiya pulled away from Shinya’s shoulder, where he was crying. “I saw Kyo leaving when I was coming up. He seemed angrier than normal. Did something happen between you two?”
“It was nothing.” Shinya replied, his voice a little more harsh than he had intended. “I don’t see why you are so bothered by the way Die was acting. He just thought you didn’t want to eat his food, and then it didn’t help when you didn’t eat much. He most likely thinks you don’t like it.” Toshiya’s eyes grew wide with shock as Shinya gave his theory to Die’s behavior.
“But… that’s not what I meant…. I thought the food was good. In fact, I don’t come across much that he does that isn’t good.” The bassist stated the latter defensively, earning a confused look from his friend.
“There’s more to it, isn’t there?” The red head asked, standing up and offering his hand to help the bassist. When Toshiya didn’t answer, Shinya simply nodded. “How long?”
“Is it -that- obvious?” he took Shinya’s hand and got onto the couch.
“No, I just kind of guessed.” Shinya answered, sitting back in his chair. “So, how long?”
“A few years now… but, it’s one way.” the latter was barely more than a mumble under Toshiya’s breath.
“One way? How do you figure?”
“Well, I would think that would be rather obvious. The only way for it not to be one way, is with both parties knowing… and accepting.” Toshiya thought a moment before continuing. “Actually, it sort of reminds me of how you and Kyo are.” Shinya’s eyes locked onto the bassist’s face at the mention of him and Kyo.
“What do you mean by that?” it was the drummer’s turn to be defensive.
“Nothing. I was just referencing your liking of Kyo-chan, and that he doesn’t return those feelings. That makes it one--” Toshiya was cut off when he suddenly found Shinya’s hand over his mouth.
“Shut up.” the bassist’s eyes were wide with a mixture of shock and fear. It wasn’t often someone saw Shinya angry, in fact, he couldn’t think of any time that the young drummer had been angry enough to actually do something.
“Sorry.” Toshiya mumbled through the drummer’s boney hand, as tears made their way to his eyes once again. Shinya seemed to realize that he had scared the bassist, because soon he was back in his chair, a shocked expression on his face.
“No, don’t apologize. It should be me who says sorry. I just don’t want to hear about Kyo right now… actually, I think I should be going to bed.” Toshiya took the hint and made his way to the door.
“I’ll see you in the morning, then?” the bassist waited by the door for an answer.
“Yeah. See you at practice.” Shinya had already gotten into his bedroom and was about to close the door when he answered. After the drummer had finished speaking, and was closing the door, Toshiya went out into the cool air and started his walk back to his and Die’s apartment.
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