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(Promise to) Keep Your Heart Broken	By : ceeceebullet Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Rasmus Views: 975 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Rasmus. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
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- 6
Chapter 5

xx Lauri

I remember waking with you still beside me. I remember looking at your naked shoulders peaking at the top of the sheets as you slept. You were an angel, my angel. You looked peaceful – so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you. I reached out to you. I touched you. Running my fingers through your brown hair, I felt how silky your strands were. I wanted to remember you like this. I traced your face ever so lightly with my fingers. I would've given anything to be able to take you with me to wherever it was I was heading next.

This one night stand had turned into something more, that I knew. I had never loved anyone as much as I loved you. You were always the one who kept me grounded and reminded me of the consequences of my actions. You made me look ahead before I did things. Sometimes that was a good thing, but at other times, not so good.
As I thought of how beautiful you were as you slept, you began to stir. You moved your head to the side and looked at me through the corner of your eye. You're voice was groggy, but it was cute.
"It's morning already?" you asked. I nodded.
"Yes," I said and reached out to touch your shoulder. "And I've got to leave soon," I said sadly.
"Yeah…" you trailed off. You were going to cry again, I knew it. But you couldn't be because you knew from the beginning what would happen.
"Don't cry," I told you. "You knew this was how it was to be," I said and ran my thumb over your tears.
"It doesn't make it easier," you said.
"No, but try to remember last night. Your party, your friends…"
"You," you said quietly. "You were what I wanted Lauri. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present."
"That's it," I said. What you didn't know was that I was trying to mask my hurt because my heart was breaking too. "You're looking on the bright side."
You gave me a weak smile and got out of bed. You had an unbelievable body, Sky. But you were always too modest to realize it. You began dressing and when you were done and your hair was up in a loose ponytail you walked over to me. Kneeling in front of me you took my hands in yours.
"I want to thank you for being there for my birthday, for meeting me, for singing for me, and for…last night," you said looking into my eyes. "I will never forget you, and when I think of you, I'll always think of our intimate time that we shared. And I want you to know that I hope you find someone who'll love you and take care of you the way you want. You deserve that after everything you're hearts been through," you whispered to me.
I wanted to tell you that you were the one I wanted to love me but I didn't know how and I knew I was loosing you. You grabbed your purse and fished around in it for something. Standing up you walked over to the dressed with your back to me. After several moments you walked back to me and leaned down to my ear.
"This is the hardest thing that I'm going to do. I'm letting you go now Lauri. But I want you to know that I love you and that no one will ever have my heart like you have it. I love you so much…" you told me and then you kissed me. You blew me away and I couldn't hold back anymore. My tears began to fall. "Now it's my turn to comfort you. Please don't cry. I mean nothing to you." When you said that, it killed me. Who knew those three words could have such an impact?
"I…I…" I trailed. I wasn't thinking anymore. "Don't leave. Come with me. Be with me," I spat.
"Lauri I…" you started.
"You told me you love me am I right?" I ask. You nod. "Well if you love me as much as you say you do, you'll be with me. You'll see the world with me – isn't that what you always dreamed about?" I asked with hopeful eyes.
"I can't just drop my life," you said. "When you love someone you don't ask them to give up all they've accomplished. Besides Lauri, I have a family that I can't just leave behind. I'd love to go, but I know I can't change you. You're a rock star and you don't need someone like me being your shadow. You don't care enough about me. You don't even know me!" you exclaimed. I knew you were frustrated. My proposal tormented you because in reality, you wanted to come with me. You wanted to believe so much that this was real.
"You wouldn't be my shadow! I just…I just don’t want to let you go. I'm confused," I said, my head sinking into my hands.
"See? I can't do this because you're confused. You are living in this moment. By tomorrow you'll have someone else in your bed pleasing you," you said. Your words were harsh and anger was built up behind them. You were lashing out to protect your heart. Your love for me was genuine and it was then I realized that if I wanted, I could loose my heart to you and you'd never break it.
"What if I told you I felt that same way?" I asked cautiously. My words were trembling.
"What?" you asked me. "What did you say?"
"What if I felt the same emotions that you are feeling about me?" I asked walking over to stand in front of you.
"This is crazy talk," you said. "Do you do this to every girl you fuck, wake up the next morning and beg for them to follow you wherever you go? This is sick, Lauri. And to think I held more credibility to you then this," you said. You were really defensive and you began to break me. You were hurting me because little did you know, I did love you.
"Fine, you want to go back to your pathetic life then go ahead! I could give you so much and I could take care of you. I've never said any of this to any other girl because you want to know the truth? I've never woken up to any of them beside me the next morning because that's all they were, a one night stand! I always left after they fell asleep," by now I was angry and hurt and I was lashing out to hurt you back. "And on top of all that we shared last night, I want you to know that you were the first person that I've ever made love to," I said.
"But you've…"
"I've fucked, Sky - only fucked. I've never given my heart while having sex before," I said and began walking you to the door. I opened it and pushed you to the entry. "And before you leave I want you to know something else," I said. I looked at you with the coldest stare I could look at you with. I was so in love with you and pushing you away like this was killing me but I had to make you see my truth. "I love you too," and with a final push to your body you were out my door. I slammed it shut and locked it before you had time to react.
My back pressed against the closed door I slid down the length of the wood as I held my head in my hands, my tears flowing freely as I listened to your furious pounding on my door.

xx Skylar

I remember pounding on your door. My sobs were uncontrollable and I needed to get inside. But you wouldn't let me in. I didn't know how to make this right, but I knew if I left you'd officially be gone out of my life forever. I lost you the way I feared, the way I somehow knew I would. I just wanted you so badly that I said anything to make you see. Looking down at the piece of paper that was still tucked in the palm of my hand, I kissed it and bent down. Slipping it in the open crease on the floor, I silently prayed you would read it. It was then I left you.
I sat in that hotel for two hours. I waited to see you leave. When you finally did make your way into the hallway to leave I watched you from a far corner, hidden away, as you gave your keys back to the receptionist. I watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder and begin to wheel your suitcase out the door. This was it. I walked to the exit and slowly crept outside to watch you and the others pack up the van. I stayed hidden and watched. My heart leapt in my throat when you looked in my direction. I didn't know if you had seen me, and I didn't know if I really did want you to.
When you focused your attention back to the task at hand you seemed distracted. All the other guys climbed into the van but you held back. Looking around I hoped you had read my note. But a part of me hoped you didn't either. I saw you focus on where I was standing again and breathed in. Did you know? I wanted to run out and scream your name when you shook your head sadly and turned. I watched as you climbed into the van. I watched as the door slid closed. And I watched as van that carried you, my love, away from me.
I had let you go. But not entirely because you knew that you would always have a piece of me with you.

xx Two months later

There was something wrong with me. I could feel it. I wasn't sick, but I wasn't right. I always hated going to the doctors. Picking and probing you and giving you vitamins and other supplements that you most likely would toss aside was something I hated. But I knew I had to go.
My back hurt often, I feel feeling emotional over everything, and sometimes I even got sick after I ate. My friends and family told me it was probably just a cold, but I knew better. I wanted to make sure.
"I've figured out what's wrong with you," my doctor said as she breezed into my room.
"And what's that?" I asked as I looked at her expectantly. Here comes more vitamins…
"Congratulations Skylar," she said shaking my hand. "You're pregnant."
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(Promise to) Keep Your Heart Broken