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My Asrun Star	By : nanashiamai Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Vitas Bumac Views: 820 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Vitas Bumac. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Author's Note: okay, so yeah...this chapter gets emo again. i don't konw why i reverted to japanese randomly for the flashback. if youdon't understand it, message me or something and i'll fill you in. basically, they love one another. that's all you need know.

i hope hyde really isn't an ass like he is in this. i like to imagine he isn't. that and...the whole "malice mizer" breaking up thing i took from the point of view of malice mizer, not gackt in his "moonchild" autobiography. although i did utilize elements from his own words.

tee hee the sproing suit. god i love that suit. and vitas fucking hates it.

this is the hotel they are staying in: http://www.booking.com/hotel/ad/plaza.html?aid=301020;label=ando%7Candorra%7Candorra%7C9199;sid=110d92037a4c1b4ceee1fa6aeaafff38;checkin=;checkout=

anything else? no, i don't think so. leave me comments? i can see a lot of sexual tension coming of this...

ps - i don't own anyone in this chapter. no one. because slavery was abolished a long time ago. so don't sue me. please. i'm a poor college student.

Chapter 5: Birds Have Flown Away

Five months. Five lonely months of nonstop moving, being on the road, nightly performances and separation anxiety. And it flew by faster than Vitas could have expected.

His Russian tour had been a grand success, and though it kept him moving, it never entirely dulled his mind from memories of the empty home he would return to, the empty life he was leading without Svetlana. Perhaps that was how he rationalized his departure. Perhaps that was why he threw himself into his work in light of having to think. If he kept busy, he could remain numb, and not have to seriously consider how unhappy he was. What kept him going was the promise of staying occupied.

He had opened up the possibility of the world tour with his management and agent, and though his idea had received mixed reviews, he had eventually convinced them to its beneficial nature. The prospect of future fans around the world made the idea seem more doable, and soon they had opened into negotiation with Gackt Kamui’s management. The new world tour was to be launched only days after the Russian returned from his home tour due to his own request. The more he worked, the less days he would spend in his empty home. The less days he had to live a normal life outside of his musical fantasy.

The less days he had to think about the empty space beside him that had been Svetlana for the past five years.

What struck him the most was how much he missed her. It wasn’t the sex he missed so much as the companionship. He hadn’t realized just how close he was to her until he lost her. She had been his confidant, his lover, his closest friend for five long years. And when he found himself alone in a hotel room, staring at the ceiling and thinking on his life, it was in those times that he missed her the most. He missed the only friend he could have stayed with for life.

Now, however, he found himself in transit, awaiting a pickup from the private jet that would be touring the multinational group around the world. The full-size jet had a large enough cabin to hold all the performers that had been roped into the tour, and yet was comfortable enough for them to sit relatively far apart, move around, and converse as they saw fit. Vitas was feeling uncomfortable the more he thought about being surrounded with international performers, even more so if they didn’t speak Russian. What gave him comfort was the prospect of seeing Gackt again.

Though he and the male had only spent a small amount of time together, he felt connected to him, and it was reuniting with him that he looked forward to most of all. There was something about the Japanese male that made him feel comfortable and helped him forget his troubles. Perhaps it was their mutual talent that brought the two together, or perhaps it was the real person that he was. Whatever the reason, it was the Asian male that he looked forward to seeing in the time that passed.

Beside him, Nadia was asleep, her head resting ever so slightly on his shoulder, though he didn’t mind. A few rows back, the other girls, and further, the rest of the band, was sitting by in the train car, trying to pass the time to the airport.

Slowly, the train began to decrease in speed, pulling into the station. An announcement disrupted the quiet, preparing them for arrive. Gently Vitas nudged the sleeping female. “Nadia…”

“Em?”

“Nadia, we’re here.” He waited a couple seconds, and when she didn’t respond he shook her more forcefully. “Nadia!”

“What? Shit…” The female blinked her eyes several times, waiting for them to adjust, but when she realized where they were, she looked startled. “We’re there already? Wow…that was fast.”

Not really, Vitas thought as he stood up, helping Nadia to her feet. Time always flies when you’re asleep.

“Do you think the plane will be here?” she asked as she grabbed a small backpack from the floor of the shuttle train and threw it over her shoulder, stepping down the metal steps onto solid ground.

Her companion shrugged as he stepped out beside her. He didn’t really know nor care; all he knew was that he wanted to see Gackt, the sooner the better.

As the group made their way into the terminal, they passed through a roped off area that was set aside for them as they met up with the rest of the Slavic groups. t.A.T.u. had miraculously been roped into the touring group, as had Del’fin and Ozone, and the three groups were waiting patiently at a back platform for their pickup. Vitas nodded to acknowledge their presence, but he kept his eyes locked on the open landing strip.

“You look anxious,” Nadia stated as she came up behind the tall male, watching him curiously.

“Really?” he asked with an absent expression, but he didn’t elaborate as his eyes remained locked on the landing strip. The roar of engines brought his eyes skyward, and a large place came into clear view, steadily approaching the ground. “There it is.”

Nadia raised an eyebrow at her companion, clearly aware that something was passing through his mind but also unsure of how to weasel it out of him. “Okay, okay.”

The plane taxied in smoothly, finding its way to the platform where the celebrities were seated. It was monstrous in size and sported a unique pattern on the side. The design resembled a map of the world overlapped with stylized musical notes. It must have been set aside specifically for their tour, and the design was impressive. Vitas watched as a staircase was brought to the side, but he impatiently began pacing in his small area. Finally the stair was secure, and the airport security stepped back, allowing the celebrities to mount the stair.

“Someone’s in a hurry,” Nadia muttered with a smirk as she followed Vitas, and was amused to see she had trouble keeping up with him. Her curiosity wouldn’t be dulled, but she’d have to wait until later to press him about it – for now, she simply found her way into the plane and found a comfortable place to sit towards the front.

The plane was already full of Asian performers from a grand array of countries – Korea, Japan, China, and Vietnam were amoung the countries represented from the far east, and as Vitas stepped into the plane, he suddenly felt very awkward. However, as a waved hand brought his attention to the back, he calmed slightly as he saw a familiar face. Gackt was sitting towards the back with an empty seat beside him. The Russian cast him a soft smile and made his way to the back, finding comfort in his presence. Behind him, Nadia watched his retreating form with a knowing expression, but she didn’t say a word.

“Good to see you, Vitasu,” the Asian greeted him, patting the seat beside him in invitation. The Russian paused for a moment, then sat beside him and nodded.

“You too, Gackt,” he replied and glanced around at the surrounding group. “Looks like your plan was successful.”

“Of course it was,” the Japanese male responded confidently and brushed some red strands of hair out of his eyes. “Did you have any doubt?”

“Not really,” he answered as he folded his arms across his chest and sighed. He didn’t focus on the male beside him but his mind was locked on his presence. Why am I latching onto him? Why have I been waiting for this moment?

“Of course not. I get what I want.”

“Really?” There was a hint of unbelief in Vitas’ tone as he spoke, but his companion simply laughed and fidgeted in his seat.

“Fucking airliners won’t let me smoke.” He pulled at his leather jacket, finding an abandoned pack in the breast pocket and fingering it. “I apologize if I get antsy. I haven’t gone this long without my nicotine in forever.”

Vitas didn’t respond but internally he laughed. Clearly the Asian couldn’t get everything he wanted, though he ventured if Gackt had set his mind to it, he could have gotten his way. He slipped into silence and glanced around at the performers that accompanied them. “How did you get all these people to join?”

The Asian shrugged as the plane began to move again and hastened to fasten his seatbelt, leaning back awkwardly and casting the Russian a smirk. “You mean good looks and charm isn’t enough?”

The Russian rolled his eyes and fastened his own seatbelt, then folded his arms across his chest. “You’re incredible,” he muttered shaking his head at the incorrigible male.

“Not as incredible as your wardrobe, but we won’t get into that,” his companion shot back quickly, and there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes, as though he had just come up with something unmatchable. For a moment, Vitas just looked at him, unsure just what to say, then finally turned his attention back to the crowded cabin. “Nothing to say?” The Russian failed to respond once more and Gackt elbowed him in the side, drawing his attention back to him. “Hey, lighten up, alright? For someone who’s as random as you are on stage, you’re fucking uptight.”

Vitas inhaled sharply, his stomach losing itself somewhere else as the jet left the ground, hurtling them on their way to Andorra, the first leg of their tour. When he had recovered himself, he finally forced himself to respond to the Asian. “Sorry.” Then he went back to the previous comment and considered it in his mind before adding, “You just wish you looked as good as I do in my wardrobe. I’ve been told by my backup singers I look very arousing in those suits.”

Gackt snorted at the half-assed response and fidgeted again, glancing at the abandoned pack of cigarettes before returning attention to Vitas. “Well, it’s a special man that can make a slinky arousing.” He was clearly referring to the Mechny suit, and Vitas flinched at the mention of it.

“I hate that fucking suit.”

This time Gackt allowed himself a true laugh, and the sound was so filled with humor that the few people within earshot couldn’t help but laugh as well, glancing back at the male with confused smiles crossing their faces. Somewhere to their left, Lena and Julia of t.A.T.u. began whispering amongst themselves, giggling in a childlike manner. The Japanese male didn’t seem shaken by the fact that everyone was amused by his laugh and instead locked eyes with the Russian. This time they were two different colours – one blue, one red. “I rest my case.”

“You’re wardrobe isn’t exactly normal,” the Russian shot back, remembering Gackt’s performance that included medieval garb, leather, interesting haircolours sported by himself and his band, and something that he learned was known as “fan-service”. But Gackt was not to be overcome and he pointed to himself with his index finger.

“Yes, well, as I recall, people used to dress that way in the Renaissance.”

As the plane reached a safe altitude, the pilot turned off the seatbelt icon and many of the artists began removing their seatbelts and roaming about the cabin, going to talk to one another and mingle. It was here that the pair found their conversation interrupted by Hyde, who had been watching his friend and coworker from across the cabin with mild amusement.

“What’s going on over here, you two?” the male asked Gackt in flawless Japanese. The Russian glanced up at him but clearly had no understanding as he directed his eyes back at the abandoned cabin. “He doesn’t speak Japanese?” he added as he looked perplexedly at Gackt.

“He doesn’t speak anything but Russian,” the redhead replied and smirked. “I’ve been meaning to pick on him about that.”

Vitas nodded to the standing male to show he acknowledged him, but as he couldn’t understand the language, he undid his seatbelt and made his way across the aisle to where Lena and Julia were sitting, greeting the two in a friendly manner. “Your eunuchy friend is pretty reserved.”

“Eh,” Gackt didn’t seem to care too much and stood up so he and Hyde were on equal footing. “I think he just…doesn’t know us well enough.”

“So what are you up to?” Hyde asked seriously, his dark eyes turning once more to the reserved male that seemed drawn to Gackt and at the same time inhumanly distant.

“I’m making friends,” Gackt joked with a grin crossing his pale face, but when Hyde failed to return the playful expression he darkened entirely and looked directly into Hyde’s eyes.

“I think maybe he reminds you of Ka-”

“No.” Gackt was firm in his response, terminating the conversation with a look and a word. “That’s not what’s going on.”

Hyde raised an eyebrow and glanced over the Russian male once more, who was now smiling more fully in conversation with the two females. They seemed to be sharing a common memory, and he did seem more open and comfortable with them. Perhaps Hyde had the wrong idea. All the same, he wasn’t sure if he believed Gackt. “I’m just trying to keep you from making a mistake that might cause -”

“That’s not what’s going on,” the red-haired male responded again, and he turned his back on Hyde, directing his attention at anyone or anything that might have come in his path. He left his friend standing rather bewildered in the back of the plane.

---------------------------------

When the plane landed in Andorra, it found the group of musicians at the Hotel Plaza on the border between Andorra and France. The multi-lingual staff welcomed the multi-lingual group and showed them to their rooms. Because of the sheer size of the tour, they had been given a special discount…and the entire second floor to themselves. Lined up down the hall, females to the far end while the males lined the rest of the hall, it was presumable that they would be spending little time there in lieu of their preparations for performance. As they unloaded into their individual rooms, Gackt found himself bitter and silent.

He knew that Hyde would be in the room beside him. He knew that Vitas was several rooms down. And those two facts seemed to be the focus of his mind as he threw his suitcase on the bed, glaring angrily at the pale reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall.

How could Hyde have possibly brought him up? he thought to himself as he opened his suitcase and pitched random articles of clothing at the mirror in frustration. It wasn’t long before the floor was littered with socks, tee-shirts, boxers and whatever toiletries he’d stowed in his pack. “Fucking bastard has no idea what he’s talking about,” he spoke aloud to himself in his own language, collapsing onto the bed and grasping his head in his hands. “How dare he bring up Kami to me?”

As the name fell off his lips, he suddenly felt very sad and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling exposed and empty. The name brought with it an image; the effeminate lips, the shy smile, the porcelain features, the china doll-like physique. And the image brought with it an empty space in his heart that could have only been filled by one who was no longer there.

“Kami-sama,” he murmered as the image plagued him incessantly. It was more than an image though; it was a feeling, a laugh, a touch, a voice, a breath, a different life. It hurt him to even think about it, to think about the family he could have had, to think about the love he’d had and lost. “Why did you leave me Kami-sama? Why did you go before me? It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

“Maybe Hyde is right, Gakuto,” he answered himself, sitting aright and looking at his hands. They were slender, beautiful, but shaking. “He seems so much like him.”

“It’s nothing like that,” his sadness responded, shaking his head and once again holding it in his hands. “I could never…there is no one…you can’t replace…” How could Hyde think he was trying to replace Kami with Vitas? It wasn’t anything like that.

His mind drifted to another time, one where the two of them were smiling. It had been early in his knowing Kami when he had first gotten a real smile from the shy male. The interlude between acts, small Kami had found himself pressed between the wall and the taller male, their eyes locked on one another.

“Nani?” Kami had whispered, his voice shaking as he stared into the orbs of false blue that seemed locked on him, forcing him to buckle under the state he found himself in. They were almost too entrancing to look away, but at the same time he felt trapped by the weight pressed against him.

“Oshiete, Kami,” the other responded, pressing himself closer to the smaller male and positioning his own face inches from others. He could feel the small male’s breath upon his face, and he liked it. It was coming in ragged gasps, and exciting all his senses. “Anata…anata wa…” He stopped and reached one hand forward to touch that porcelain cheek he had longed to run his soft fingers across. It was as smooth and beautiful as it looked. “Wakarimasu ka?”

“Hai…hai, wakarimasu.” The smaller’s eyes were ever locked on the severe face, but as he found himself trapped with no escape, all he could do was force a small smile. “S…Suki desu…”

All the smaller had to do was utter the quiet words when he found the forceful male pressing his lips against his own, forcing him into a blissful submission. He returned the kiss fervently and passionately, allowing Gackt’s tongue to enter his wanting mouth and enjoying the taste of him. When the taller pulled away, his bright eyes lost all their severity and were instead filled with an intense desire. “Suki yo, Kami-sama…”

“Funny how fragile life is,” Gackt continued to himself in his own language, the memory fading and leaving him only with an empty soul and a cold heart. “Funny how you could be here, so warm and beautiful, and gone the next. Funny how I never got to say goodbye.”

“It’s not even remotely funny, Gakuto,” his emotionless self responded in an even tone, and he stood up, surveying the mirror and the pale reflection it cast. He was so beautiful, and yet so fragile himself. He could collapse at any moment. He could go just like Kami did. “And what is the most un-funny part of it is how it ended.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouted back, turning around and kicking the first thing he could see; this time it happened to be the beautiful chestnut dresser that adorned the back wall, and as his foot connected with the soft wood a sharp crack sounded through the room, the only sound of the damage that might be caused by his chaos. “How could I have known…how could I have known it would have ended like that. If I’d have known, I never would have left Malice Mizer the way I did.”

“But you did leave it,” his emotionless self retorted, the voice now hollow and accusatory. “You left it because you were too selfish. You left it because you were isolating yourself in your own musical -”

“Stop it,” he murmured to himself once more and crumpled into a heap on the hotel room floor. He didn’t like to think on those, to think on the frustration and anger that caused them to part ways, caused him to leave behind the man that he loved, caused him to lose Kami in such a base, unfair manner. “I loved him…more than anyone…anything…”

Silence fell upon him as he began to shutter in the room. It was so large, and yet he felt stifled by its beautifully papered walls. He was trapped in himself; he always had been. And even when he let people in, all he did was wall himself in further, isolate himself, keep them at arms length if only to protect himself while sacrificing intimacy.

A wrapping on the door, brought his senses forward and he glanced at the door, knowing internally who it would be awaiting him on the other side. “Come in, Hyde.”

The musician entered quietly and glanced at Gackt, curled up and collapsing into himself on the floor. Without asking, he sat on the floor beside him and looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Gackt,” he spoke in a soft voice, his eyes locked on the floor. “I shouldn’t have -”

“No, you shouldn’t,” he responded tersely, and his contacted eyes rested on the face before him, burning into it with anger. However, when he saw the intention on Hyde’s face, he softened. “If you had any idea how much I miss him, Hyde…”

“I know,” the other responded and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. “I know.”

“No one could ever replace him. No one.”

“I know,” Hyde spoke again. “And no one ever will.”

AN: comments are appreciated. expect some lime in the next chapter.
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