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Forbidden Light	By : KathyF1Slash Category: Individual Celebrities > Athlete/Sports Misc Views: 1445 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people written about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
A/N~
We’ll have more confrontations coming up. This relationship will not be born over night. I’m sorry if I made Nico a bit of a bastard in the beginning of this chapter, but he’s angry. He’ll be nicer towards the end of the chapter. And this chapter will even have a tiny bit of lime (yeah some man/man action), most of it courtesy of this chapter’s mystery guest. And a lot of conversation.
And a very special super big thank you to Anna, my first reviewer here! Chocolate chip cookies for you, I hope you like them (and this new chapter as well).
~K

Chapter 5: Please stop telling me lies

This weekend I’ll be racing at home. Well my home country at least. I know a lot of eyes are focussed on me. And the media seems to try and follow my every move. I try to keep to myself a lot when I’m not out there with my fans or working.
The past 2 weeks I’ve tried very hard not to think too much about Nico’s hard accusing words that he spoke in Monaco. I know he said that I didn’t have to explain. But I can’t help feeling that I should have, or at the very least should have tried.
I’m not sure if Vivien is aware of the confrontation that took place between Nico and me. Or if Nico asked her about it. The fact is that she still didn’t contact me or send me the photo. But then again I’m not even sure if she has my e-mail address. Nico has it, but maybe she didn’t want to ask him, because I told her not to tell Nico anything. It could also be that I’m just reading too much in to this, and that Vivien has simply forgotten about the promise.

There is only one way to find out. I’ll give her a call and ask her. I’m not even sure how I got her phone number to begin with, most likely I got it from Nico some time ago. But I’m glad that I have it. I do hope that she still has the same number.
I dial her number, and the phone rings
“Vivien”
“Hello Vivien, this is Lewis Hamilton. Am I calling at a convenient time?”
“Yes, it’s okay. And I think I know why you’re phoning me. I just realized I totally forgot to send you that picture, right?”
“Yes, that was indeed the reason I contacted you. I’m sorry to bother you with it.”
“No I’m the one who should be apologising, I just totally forgot. I’ll mail it to you right away.”
“Thank you very much. And don’t worry things like that can happen. Have you got my e-mail address?”
“No I haven’t.”
I give her my e-mail address. And walk in the direction of the McLaren motorhome.
“Got it, I’ll send you the photo in a moment. Oh by the way I never told Nico anything.”
“Thank you Vivien, and I really appreciate it that you didn’t tell Nico anything. I’m counting on your discretion.” While I say that last sentence I come face to face with a scowling Nico. Oh no, I wonder how much he overheard. I really have to finish this phone call.
“I have to get back to work Vivien. Thank you very much. Take care.’
“Okay no problem. Bye Lewis.”
I quickly hang up and face an angry Nico.

“What’s this all about, why are you being so secretive. And why where you on the phone with Vivien. Is she cheating on me and seeing you behind my back?” He asks coldly.
Oh no, not again I sure seem to have a fine ability to screw up Nico’s and Vivien’s relation and that of Nico and myself as well. I hasten to answer him. “No, not at all. Vivien is not unfaithful to you, I just asked her to arrange something for me and that’s why I was with her on the phone.“
“Yes something that she isn’t allowed to tell me about. Some sort of secret. I thought I could trust you Lewis, but now you’re having secrets for me with MY girlfriend.”
“It’s not what you think Nico, I’m not seeing Vivien behind your back. She’s not cheating on you in any way.” I tell him desperately hoping he will believe me. I never meant to mess with their relationship, or make him doubt Vivien.
“And I’m just supposed to believe you on your word. I told you already 2 weeks ago Vivian is my girl.”
“I know Nico, and I swear It’s nothing like that. It has to do with your birthday gift, that’s why I was with her on the phone. And I asked her not tell you, because I want it to be a surprise.” I try to make my voice sound genuine and not desperate.
“Right and you expect me to believe that.” He says his voice loaded with sarcasm.
“Yes, because it’s true. You’re not going to believe me no matter what I say, will you?” I ask him still trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.
“No, not the way you have been behaving. You expect me to believe you, especially after what happened in Monaco. I forgave you and you didn’t even have to explain, as long as you wouldn’t pursue Vivian. You even promised me.” He says sounding very angry now.
I just don’t know what to tell him, I want him to believe me. I hate it when he’s angry with me and I hate it even more that I’m making him distrust Vivien. She just wants to help me out, and all I do is making Nico doubting her honesty. I see no other way around it. I’ll just tell him about the photo, that way it’ll spoil a bit of the surprise but not everything yet.
“Alright Nico you win. I’ll tell you what this secret is about. Like I said it has to do with your birthday. I asked Vivien to send me the picture that was taken of us during the party in Monaco. I want to use that picture for a birthday gift for you. I swear that’s all. I just asked Vivien not to tell you anything because I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. You can phone Vivien, ask her about it and tell her what I told you. That way you can confirm that both of us have been speaking the truth. And if it helps I’ll even promise to stay away from the both of you. If that will help you believe me more.” I don’t know what else to say. I hate the fact that he’s angry with me.
“It indeed might be better if you stay away from me, and Vivien especially.” He snaps at me. While he takes his phone out of his pocket.
I’m shocked by his coldness. To be honest I never really expected him to accept that offer. It seems that my good intentions backfired at me. There is nothing I can do now anymore.
“So I guess this is goodbye then.” I say to him, not able to keep the sadness completely out of my voice.
“Indeed it is, goodbye Lewis” He says coldly, turns his back to me and walks away.
“Goodbye” , I say to his retreating back.

I walk a bit aimlessly around the paddock, I can’t stop the sad feeling that I messed up for good. I think it’s very likely Nico will never speak to me again. At least not as a friend. An immense feeling of loss comes over me. I wish I could just go back and make everything work again. But Nico was clear, he doesn’t want to see me anymore. And if I go back now, I’ll just be breaking another promise.
Maybe it’s a sign that this friendship, and my feelings for Nico never would have worked out. A sign that I should stop thinking about Nico. But I fear my heart isn’t willing to let go yet. It’s hanging onto the frail hope that someday it might all be alright again.
I’m not sure how to go on now. I’ll still see him on the paddock. I wonder if I’ll be able to just ignore him and keep my promise. The thought of never being able to laugh and talk with him hurts a lot.
Lost in thought I feel myself bumping into someone. I stammer an apology and look to see who I almost walked over. I’m face to face with Vitantonio Liuzzi.
“Hmm it’s okay. Are you alright?”
“Alright?” I’m surprised and don’t know what to answer.
“Yes, because you don’t look like it. It looks like you’ve been through hell.”
I still stare at him, surprised by his words. But before I can tell him that I will be alright he draped his arm over my shoulder, “Come on” and drags me along with him.

We’re now at a more secluded part of the paddock.
He lets me go for a moment and asks me “So why the sad face? This upset look doesn’t suit you at all, you look a lot better smiling. You got dumped or something?”
“No it’s nothing like that.” I’m answer him, surprised by his bluntness. It might not really be the truth, but I don’t see why that should be his business.
“Ah, so could it be because you had a fight with your nice blond friend, Nico?”
I look flabbergasted at him, how does he know that.
He shrugs in an apologetic gesture, “I didn’t mean to, but I overheard part of your conversation.”
He looks at me and I try to keep a neutral face. I feel a bit angry that he’s poking his nose in my business, but at the same time also ashamed that he overheard.
I guess my face must have given something away, because he says. “So it is indeed because of Nico. I would almost think that you have a crush on the boy.”
He keeps surprising me, I feel the heat rise to my cheeks, fortunately he can’t really see that. And I shake my head to deny his statement. But again before I can answer he beats me to it.
He shakes his head as well, And pulls me into an embrace. “Shh don’t try to deny it pretty boy, I know you do. I can’t say that you have a bad taste. But he doesn’t appreciate your beauty the way he should.”
I have to admit it does feel good to be held, after all that happened. Until his words register in my mind. I wonder what he exactly means with those words.
He leans even closer and whispers in my ear, ”I on the other hand do know how to appreciate pretty things, like you.”
I pull back and say “What are you talking about. I’m not pretty, guys are not pretty.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He softly touches my cheek and then pulls me closer to him again. It does feel nice, but not in the same way it felt good to be held in Nico’s arms.
Then I feel that Tonio let his hands rub my back, and one of his hands slowly slides up to my neck.
Everything happens really fast then, I suddenly feel him pulling me closer and I feel his lips on mine. No, this is not what I want, I freeze. Then I get back to my senses and push him back. “No, stop. This isn’t what I want. Please stop.”
He looks at me; amused I think. “Don’t be shy, I’ll show you how pretty I think you are.”
And he leans closer and tries to kiss me again, while his hand on my back slips under my shirt. I feel panic rising. I don’t want to hurt Tonio, because he was nice enough to comfort me. But I don’t want this. This kiss wasn’t that bad, but I’m not attracted to him. And he’s moving too fast for me. I’m not ready for this, and especially not with him.
I try to push him away without using too much force, letting him know I really don’t want this. He doesn’t seem to notice, or just ignores it.I try to get my arms free so that I attempt can punch him.
Then Tonio is pulled away from me, and for a moment I think I’m seeing Nico. But that can’t be right?
I stand there and watch. Tonio’s attention is now on my rescuer, who indeed turns out to be Nico.
They seem to be arguing in Italian, I don’t understand a lot of what is being said.
I just stand there, I don’t know what to do. I feel ashamed that Nico found me in such a situation and even felt the need to help me.
Then I see Tonio looking at me angry, he snarls “Fine” and gives Nico a dirty look as well before he walks away.
Nico walks over to me grabs my arm and leads me in the opposite direction of where Tonio was going.

Shortly after that he lets go of my arm. “Hey, are you okay?”
I’m still shocked about what all just happened. “To be honest I don’t know”. I answer him.
Nico sighs,” The bastard”.
I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I don’t know what to tell Nico. After all not that long ago he told me he never wanted to see me again. And yet here he is.
Then he slowly leans forward and slowly puts his arms around, like he wants to give me time to protest in case I don’t want it.
But I lean into the embrace and hold on tight. It might be the only time he will let me.
“Shh it’s alright now. If he ever tries anything again he will have to answer to me. But I think he learned his lesson and will not bother you again.” he says in a soothing voice.
I’m glad he doesn’t seem to be angry with me anymore. It’s just like all those weeks ago. I’m near tears and being held in his arms. I tighten my hold on him.
I just don’t know how to thank him. I let out a shuddering breath, “thank you”, my voice hardly more then a whisper.
His hands circle soothing over my back. “That’s what friends are for.”
That does it, I’m crying again. It can’t be much more then an hour ago, that I gave up hope of ever really talking to Nico again and being friends with him. And yet here I am, and he just called himself my friend. I pull back a bit, “I’m sorry, I feel so stupid and weak”
He shakes me a bit by my shoulders and says, “You’re not weak. He was a bastard for not listening to you. And I should be apologising as well. If I hadn’t acted like a bastard today, non of this might have happened. Can you forgive me Lewis?”
I’m stunned I never expected him to apologize, I never even thought that this was his fault .“I never was angry at you. I don’t blame you. This isn’t your fault.” I rush to say. And this time I’m the one who pulls him close.

This feels so good and right. The beating of his hearth against my chest while his chest rises and falls slowly. My arms around him, and his around me. Then he lifts his head from my shoulder and looks at me. I stare back in his eyes, and get lost in them. Now that I’m this close to them it’s hard to tell what colour they are. There are so many colours, grey most of all, but also hints of green and blue and even some brown and golden flecks.
His face is close to mine, and I notice that I’m breathing heavier. His eyes lock with mine. I avert my eyes a bit and move my attention down his face, to his nose where I notice a few small freckles. Then down even more to his mouth, I let my gaze linger there. Those lips look so inviting.
Time comes to a halt when I look at those lips, by breath hitches in my throat. Then it’s like I don’t control my own body anymore, I feel like I’m watching everything from outside of my body. I feel myself leaning closer and brush my lips over his. Nico doesn’t respond, but stays very still.
He didn’t push me back, so I become a bit bolder and move one of my hands to the nape of his neck and put a bit more pressure on our brushing lips. I can’t believe this is really happening, I’m really kissing Nico. I close my eyes, it feels amazing. It’s not that different then kissing a woman, but it feels so much better.

Then Nico abruptly pulls back. He looks at me, and it’s hard to tell what it is I see in his eyes, fear, discomfort, confusion. He pulls back even more, so I have to let him go.
“Lewis, what…….” His voice trails away. He gives me another one of those confusing looks, but before I can ask him what he wanted to say he turns around and runs away.
I’m nailed to the ground, I never expected a reaction like that. I’m not sure what I did expect, but I never imaged he would just run. I fear I now fucked up my friendship with Nico for good.
I’m just so stupid. The moment Nico comes to my defence and calls me his friend again, I just had to mess up again. I’m just as bad as Tonio.

A/N~
I’m really nervous about this chapter. It was hard to get this right, because it’s such an important chapter. Let me know how I did.
This chapter is rather long should I keep it this way, or divide in into 2 smaller chapters?
I’m also wondering; do you want to see more of Tonio in this story, maybe paired with another person. Or a different driver that you would like to make an appearance in this story. Challenge me. Make a request and I’ll try to fulfil it.
~K
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Forbidden Light