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End of an Era	By : SirenSong Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Nightwish Views: 1733 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the celebrity I am writing about. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Title:    End of an Era
Author:    Aurelia (a.k.a. GoldSiren on FF.net)
Rating:    NC-17, just to be safe
Pairings:    Tarja Turunen/Marcelo Cabuli (mentioned), Tarja Turunen/Tuomas Holopainen
Warnings:    Angst, Self-injury, Alternate reality, Hurt/comfort, Language, Possible violence (more warnings may be added later)
Summary:    After being expelled from Nightwish, Tarja has to find a new path in life- but everything’s changed. Left alone in the world, can she still achieve her dreams or are they now too far away?
Disclaimer:    This story has been written without gain and I neither know nor own the people involved. Lyrics used are not my own and artists used with be noted through out the story. Nightwish songs and lyrics will be the most commonly used and all actual setting are made up although the towns, etc are real. Please don’t sue; I’m only a poor student…
Author’s Note:    Many bands/DVDs/etc mentioned (same goes for last chapter!)… I wish I owned them but, alas, I do not… Lyrics: ‘Losing My Religion’ by REM and ‘Angels Fall First’ by Nightwish.
*End of an Era: Grand Finale*
She’d seen the poster of the seven girls, their backs turned to the camera as black angel wings shimmer on their backs- the Seven Angels of European Metal and Rock.
It was a beautiful poster, very effective and eye catching.
From what she’d heard, most people were trying to use the posters of the backs of the Seven Angels and Demons to identify the bands playing- the extra tickets had been released at the same time as the poster and the concert had been sold out by Monday afternoon. The extra tickets had been released late morning on Monday.
It was going to be a huge event and Tarja was already feeling rather nervous about it. Nightwish would be playing just before she came out to sing with Fallyn and she knew that the people would be comparing the two.
The stage rehearsal on Wednesday had gone well, at least.
Jason and Ewo had even spoken with each other, yet the atmosphere had seemed tense and the silences had been uneasy. Who could blame them?
Over all, everything had gone smoothly and Tarja had avoided any uncalled for run-ins between herself and Nightwish. She’d sort of hoped that they would ask her to speak with them, that everything could be fixed. It didn’t look likely.
She had been involved in a slight run-in with Tero, though.
He’d given her this look, the same one so many old fans gave her and she’d felt like the villain. She’d had to walk off stage.
It had taken her another ten minutes to join Fallyn on stage and sing their first song. Everything had gone well after that and they’d run through the Fallyn songs, done ‘Destroyed’ by Within Temptation and ended with ‘Losing My Religion’.
As she’d been walking off stage, having completed her set, Andreas from Helloween had grabbed her and given her a hug, something that happened again with Fallyn backstage and again from the girls, Ville and Lauri. It had been nice, but it had ended with her in tears and locked in her dressing room again.
Now, on Friday, Tarja’s throwing a few things together, knowing that the car will be arriving soon to take her to the place where everyone will be staying. Apparently, the organisers had booked out this smaller hotel for the bands to stay at and the utmost security was being utilised to ensure that no one knew who the bands were until they got on stage. It was a bit over the top in Tarja’s opinion.
Ready to go, Tarja waits by the door, watching as the car pulls up outside and Raphael gets out. Opening the door, she smiles, lifting her own bag to carry it to the car- she doesn’t want to be a diva. Yet Raphael smiles, “hello, Tarja, may I take your bag?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” she responds, grabbing her handbag as Raphael takes her small suitcase from her, grinning mischievously as he does.
“A gentleman always carries a lady’s bags, unless he’s got too many of his own.” Raphael says, walking back towards the car, her bag in tow, before she can respond. With a smile on her face and a feeling of tranquil acceptance, Tarja locks the door of her new townhouse and joins Raphael in the car, greeting Viktor as she sees him sitting there.
The rest of the drive is made in a relatively comfortable silence and, when they arrive at the hotel after picking up Radu and Giorgios, they quickly learn that they are one of the last bands to arrive. Nightwish had arrived half an hour earlier.
Only Helloween and Within Temptation have yet to get here and Tarja knows that the organisers will likely wait another half hour before Helloween is collected.
The rest of the night passes in laughter and the next day is spent practicing and with almost all of the bands piled into one room, talking. Both the pool area and gardens are put to use as band members swim, take leisurely strolls and generally have fun.
When it gets a bit later in the day, the girls all pile out into the garden, taking over the pavilion as they talk, laugh and begin preparations for the concert.
Three hours before the concert is set to begin, the bands are called downstairs and given their outfits to wear that night. Everyone is going to be wearing the same clothes that they had for the photo shoot and you can hear a few of the boys groaning when they’re given the clothes. All of the girls are happy at least.
Time flies and soon Tarja finds herself in the car with Fallyn as they head to the concert hall, dressed appropriately with the boys all wearing tones of red as her dark crimson gown appears sinfully angelic.
Stepping out of the car, she feels Radu place a guiding hand on her lower back, feeling a bit strange, as the dress is backless. Even the gothic sleeves, slightly off the shoulder neckline and flowing skirt feel angelic in a tight and very sexy way. It feels right, beautiful- Nightwish-y…
But she’s not in Nightwish anymore.
Sighing, Tarja can’t help but feel like she’s in the wrong place as Victor steps up behind her with Giorgios leading the group while Raphael stands on her other side. All of the boys have taken a very protective attitude towards her.
Again, everything seems to swirl out of control as ‘curtain time’ approaches and everyone rushes to make sure everything is ready.
Apocalyptica are out first, playing half of their set (the other half to come at the end), followed by Hevein and then Lacuna Coil. It’s hilarious watching Cristina as she tries not to fall over in her dress, stumbling all over the place as Andrea continually manages to step on the slight train. Not that he seems to mind!
Watching Lacuna Coil come backstage, Tarja smiles at her and murmurs, “you sounded fantastic,” as they continue past.
Therion takes their place with Christofer, Krisian, Johan and Richard each demanding a ‘good luck kiss’ before they go out on stage and Tarja delivers them with a slight smile. They do wonderfully and the fantastic performances continue with The Gathering, My Dying Bride, Leaves’ Eyes, The Rasmus- Lauri giving her a hug before going on stage, Epica, HIM- who tried to convince her to sing with them, and Tristania.
It had been with some effort that Tarja had pulled herself away from the edge of the stage, not wanting to be confronted by Tuomas and the other boys as they went on to play their set.
Yet as she moved away in the darkness, she saw Tuomas, Marco, Emppu and Jukka approaching.
There wasn’t any way of avoiding them and she felt as if her heart was a caged butterfly, fluttering so fast as her throat closed over in a strange mix of fear and anticipation. She didn’t want to see them, it would make her cry again and she didn’t want to do that!
Hands grasp her upper arms, pulling her aside and she comes face to face with Viktor, smiling gratefully as he begins asking her about the order they would be doing their songs, her voice and stage positions. He’s doing anything to distract her attention.
Her eyes meet with Tuomas’ wolfish ones as he walks onto stage and she looks away, meeting Viktor’s dark eyes as he smiles encouragingly.
Leading her away, Viktor sends the other band members a glance that says a thousand words before taking her to Fallyn’s dressing area. The other band members file in after and they just spend some time talking as Tarja warms up her voice.
In no time at all, the five of them are stage side, waiting for Nightwish to come off so that they can go on.
As Nightwish leaves the stage, Emppu brushes against Tarja’s arm, murmuring, “good luck,” as he walks past. Tears in her eyes, Tarja walks on stage with Fallyn, hearing half of the crowd break out in cheers and applause as the other half remains silent.
The set begins well and they’re going strong when suddenly a man in the crowd charges the stage, screaming, “you ruined Nightwish! It’s all your fault! You bitch, you killed Nightwish!”
Security moves quickly, stopping the man before he can reach the stage but even from here Tarja can see something glinting in his hand. A knife? Broken glass?
Sharing a glance with the members of Fallyn, Tarja gives them a nod, letting them know that they should continue playing. This is the last time Tarja plans to sing and she wants it be a good memory, even if there is an insane fan that wants to kill her.
Voice steady and clear, Tarja begins the last song she plans to sing, pale eyes glistening with tears as her black hair flutters in the wind around her.
“Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve said too much- I set it up
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight; I’m losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said to much, I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper of every waking hour
I’m choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much- I set it up”
Tarja glances across the stage to the side, seeing Tuomas standing there with Marco, Emppu and Jukka as they watch her sing. A tear comes to her eyes and she glances back towards Fallyn as they continue playing.
“Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this the slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies come flailing around?
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight; I’m losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said to much, I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream, that was just a dream”
Her eyes are drawn to Nightwish once more and she watches, the slightest smile on her face as Andreas and Markus from Helloween push them away.
It’s obvious that they boys are telling them to piss off, that they need to be here to get on stage and that Fallyn and Tarja need room to pass so they can go cool down. But they might be doing it for her- most of the other bands had realised that she’s having a lot of trouble dealing with the break up of Nightwish…
“That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight; I’m losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said to much, I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream…”
Walking with the band to the front of the stage, Tarja smiles as the crowd cheers, bowing with the band once more. When the band steps back and signals for her to bow again, Tarja does so, feeling silly to be bowing alone when the band stands behind her. Turning, she’s gathered into a group hug in front of everyone before Fallyn finally allows her to head off stage.
Halfway to the curtain, Helloween begins to pile onto the stage, Andreas gathering her up into another hug before letting her walk off.
She feels like everything’s just come washing over her in an endless tide, walking towards the backstage area in a daze. All of the emotions seem to be built up to breaking point and she doesn’t know how she feels anymore. Sadness, happiness, and finality all war for precedence and Tarja feels exhausted.
That was her last performance.
It could only be more perfect if she had actually played with Nightwish, although Fallyn did a fantastic job. She would be proud to work with them…
With little left for her to do besides return to the hotel, sleep and then return home, Tarja rests her eyes for a moment, listening as Helloween finish their set and hand the stage to Within Temptation. Stepping out of the backstage area, Tarja joins many of the others in the wings as Within Temptation finish their final song for the night ‘Our Farewell’.
Apocalyptica takes their place, ending the night and then all of the female lead singers, the ‘angels’ walk out, taking a bow before stepping back. The ‘demons’ enter the stage and bow and then everyone comes out, crowding the stage as they wave and cheer, forming large lines and bowing once more.
It had been a wonderful night and so much money had been raised for the children.
A perfect ending…
In the resulting chaos of everyone leaving, Tarja catches Tuomas’ eye for a brief moment before being pulled from the room and into a car, back to the hotel. The rest of the night is a blur and soon Tarja’s waking up in her room, ready to go home.
It’s all over.
A knock sounds on the door and Tarja feels her hopes rise, she’d just finished packing up and the other members of Nightwish would probably be up by now! Could it be them?
“Who is it?” Tarja calls, her voice clear and steady in the silent room as she quickly checks her hair.
A moment of silence and then, “It’s Raphael and Radu.”
Her heart sinks and her shoulders slump, she should just stop hoping- it’s not going to happen. They don’t want her anymore, she’s just another musician to them.
“Come in,” Tarja calls after a moment, turning to face the door with a smile pasted onto her face. It feels so wrong to be smiling when the only thing she wants to do is cry. She knows she shouldn’t begrudge Nightwish’s decision, but it should have been her singing with them last night- it should have been her and Marco, not Marco alone.
Raphael and Radu step into the room with a sympathetic smile and Tarja’s already sure that those two can read minds; they always seem to know how she’s feeling!
“How are you?” Radu asks casually, draping himself into one of the chairs in the informal lounge area. He’s always so calm, him and Raphael are both always so calm, introspective and they always know what’s going on around them.
Turning back to her luggage, Tarja glances at them over her shoulder, a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes on her lips, “I’m good, how are you both?”
Raphael sighs, “We’re good, Tarja, but we wanted to know if you were okay? It couldn’t have been easy over the last few days and we all know that you miss Nightwish.”
Her movements frozen, Tarja looks at the two men in her room before sitting on the bed, facing them, “I miss them, but I’ll be fine.”
The two share a glance, not responding.
For a few moments, it seems that the room is locked into stillness, Raphael’s baby-blue eyes staring intently into Tarja’s aquamarine.
“Tarja,” Radu begins, his eyes meeting Tarja’s as she turns to gaze at him, “we were wondering- all of Fallyn, that is- if you would come and do a studio recording with us? We need a female vocalist and would be honoured if you agreed.”
In her mind, Tarja can hear Tuomas’ words from so long ago, ‘Tarja, we were wondering if you’d be willing to join our band, Nightwish, as the lead singer?’
“I don’t know, I need some time to think about it,” Tarja responds, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she remembers the first practice and recording with Nightwish. “I’m sorry but I just, I can’t agree to it right now…”
Nodding, the two men remain silent and, after a few moments, the phone in Tarja’s room rings.
The car that would be returning Tarja and the other members of Fallyn home had arrived and the time seems to spin by quickly, Tarja soon finding herself alone in the townhouse once more.
It’s only four thirty in the afternoon, but it seems so dark to her.
How ironic that the band should ask her to join them when the only think on her mind was being asked to rejoin Nightwish!
Alone, it doesn’t seem that funny and Tarja steps over to her computer, tapping away on the keys for a few minutes. She hadn’t been kidding herself when she’d decided that the Hand of Fate concert would be her last and she knew she couldn’t live without music in her life.
Everything was soon to be in order and Tarja forwarded her two unpublished manuscripts to Jason before turning the computer off and putting Nightwish’s- her- CD on.
The first bars from the Angels Fall First CD begins to play as Tarja heads upstairs, putting on the white dress that she’d worn to many Nightwish concerts.
Her Will has been rewritten with everything to be split amongst Nightwish and her family- she’d even now attached a note to an informal addition on the computer, requesting that Fallyn be given some money to assist their careers.
Today it would all end.
Pressing only a few buttons on the CD player’s remote, Tarja sets ‘Angels Fall First’ the song on continuous repeat before picking up the knife.
Within moments, the crimson tide flows and blackness touches the corners of her vision, her arms protesting against the burning pain that assails them. The carpet beneath her will be destroyed, but it doesn’t matter anymore.
Nothing matters anymore.
It’s only been an hour since she arrived home, half an hour since she sent the email to Jason. It feels like a lifetime ago. Nightwish seems like a distant dream as her mind fogs over, trying to escape the pain that Tarja feels as it washes out of her body.
She doesn’t want anyone to find her, not for hours yet and the moon glistens in through her window, sparking off the blade by her side.
A second, a sound- something loud for her to hear over the music.
Movement out of the corner of her eye and the song begins again as a tear trickles down her face. She hadn’t even truly got to say goodbye…
An angel-face smiles to me
Under a headline of tragedy
That smile used to give me warmth
Farewell- no words to say
Beside the cross on your grave
And those forever burning candles…
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End of an Era