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14 Years	By : lunavin Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Metallica Views: 2583 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Metallica. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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This Chapter: "We're not losing any sleep from it, James isn't losing any sleep from it, Lars isn't losing any sleep from it, it's no skin off our backs. If Jason can't see it for the humor that it is and it gets him all riled up, then... I dunno..." - Kirk Hammett about kissing Lars

James didn’t answer. Jason started feeling uncomfortable with the weight of the look James was giving him.

"Those were a good few months,” Jason said. “I was very happy with Kirk."

James thought back to the making of the Black Album. He had noticed a change in Jason. He seemed more relaxed in the band. He hadn’t dwelt on the reasons behind it for long. He simply hadn’t cared back then.

“I mean, finally, I felt like I had an ally, you know. I wasn’t just the outsider cause Kirk liked me all right,” Jason continued.

When allowed, James mused, Jason could talk as much as Lars.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised we got caught. Sometimes we got pretty adventurous,” Jason smiled. “Did you catch us in the studio?”

James shook his head.

Jason didn’t let James’ continued silence bother him.

“I thought for sure I had heard someone. We were more careful after that.”

James flexed a fist before dropping his hands on the table and taking a deep breath. This was obviously a subject that made Jason happy to think about if that upturned corner of his lip was any indication. It made James want to hit something. He'd spent years blaming Jason for making him feel this way.

“So when was it that you caught us together?” Jason asked.

MONSTERS OF ROCK, AUGUST 1991.

Metallica was done with their set. The headliners, AC/DC were onstage right now and the guys from Metallica were hanging out backstage doing interviews for MTV and other stations. When not doing press they took pictures, signed autographs, and met the fans.

It wasn't until James was getting tired that he noticed Kirk and Jason were missing. That made him angry. Not so much Kirk, but Jason was usually so good at entertaining fans while the rest of the guys slipped away. He needed to deflect a few people right now, and handing Jason over to the fans made him look like less of an asshole.

James looked over at Lars talking Kurt Loder's ear off and sighed. He was done with this and simply wanted to go and drink.

So he went in search of their ax men to speed along their departure. He took determined strides over to their dressing room/tent that made everyone around him move out of the way.

When he got there he simply moved the flap aside and went in. It was empty of people, filled only with chairs and mirrors and some wardrobe. He walked around it anyway, taking in the peace from the madness of the press area.

That was when he heard the unmistakable sex noises. He smiled. The noises were coming from behind the tent where all their equipment was sitting until it was loaded back up.

He walked closer until he found another opening in the flap. He wondered if it was Jason or Kirk back there. Perhaps it was some roadie. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

When he peeked outside the flap what he found was both Jason and Kirk, together. James could only stare to make sure he was seeing correctly. Kirk was face-first up against the amplifier cases with Jason fucking him into them so hard James was sure they would topple over. Their pants around their knees sweat dripping down their bodies.

It didn't occur to James to look away even when his initial response was revulsion. But the longer he stood there the more he started feeling something that wasn't revulsion. He couldn’t help but take in from their faces that they were obviously taking great pleasure in what they were doing. Jason grunted, Kirk moaned. Their hands were intertwined holding on to each others resting next to Kirk’s head.

"Kirk," Jason whispered.

"Yeah, Jase," Kirk gasped. "Oh, god, just what I needed."

"Fuck," Jason moaned out.

James’ eyes lingered on Jason. He wondered if the sweat on his bass player’s back was from the sex or Metallica’s performance. The look on his face was something James never forgot. He’d seen that look on Jason’s face on stage.

Jason’s thrust became slowed, and he let out a long moan James felt somewhere in his chest. James wasn't entirely sure for a moment, but he was guessing that Jason had just come.

The singer saw his bassist let go of Kirk's hand and start jerking him off instead. Kirk let out a high-pitched squeal before Jason covered his mouth with his other hand and Kirk came all over the equipment shipping boxes.

Jason laughed. "You have to be quiet, Hammett."

Kirk laughed and Jason freed his mouth.

"I know, I can't fucking help it."

Jason wrapped his arms around the Filipino and kissed the back of his neck. He hadn't even pulled out yet.

But James quietly moved away before he got caught witnessing, because as the discomfort in his pants was reminding him, he had stayed to watch the whole thing.

James turned and went back into the tent still hearing them coo at each other as he exited from the other side. He’d find Lars and just leave the two lovebirds there. He wasn't going to think about it. Especially not while his dick was still hard.

PRESENT

“Monsters of Rock? God, we’d been at it for awhile by then,” Jason ran a hand through his hair. “That wasn’t even the first time that day.”

Jason wasn’t trying to show off. He wasn’t trying to push James’ buttons. He was simply being honest, and he wasn’t so pompous as to assume he meant anything at all to James anymore. But the way James looked away at Jason’s words made Jason wonder.

"You did look happy with Kirk," James admitted though it had been hard.

"I was." Jason confirmed.

"So then what happened?"

"You mean why did we stop fucking?" Jason asked.

"Yeah."

"It was a harsh and punishing tour," Jason said. "We kind of just slowed down until we just stopped."

James grunted.

Jason sighed. That hadn’t really been the reason. He reminded himself there was no point to lying anymore.

"Honestly," Jason found himself on the verge of something he had never admitted to anyone but himself. "It was the Lars thing."

James stayed quiet.

“We weren’t a couple, Kirk and I. He fucked other people, I fucked other people, and none of it mattered. But I couldn’t handle him with Lars.”

“Why,” James asked.

“It’s so stupid,” Jason ran his hands over his face a moment. “It felt like he had traded up.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid, I know,” Jason said. “When he fucked other people, it didn’t matter cause they were whoever and we were Metallica. But Lars, Lars and you are Metallica in a way we weren’t. It’s like he was moving up in the band, and I wasn’t.”

“That’s fucked up thinking,” James squinted at Jason.

“I know. But it mattered to me and I just distanced myself from Kirk until there wasn’t anything there anymore but friendship.”

“Kirk and Lars never fucked each other,” James said. “Well, they say they didn’t.”

Jason nodded silently.

The music died down and the bar lights came on. People started getting up to leave.

Jason didn’t want to leave, but knew that the night was over. He tapped his foot nervously under the table waiting for James to get up. There was so much left to say, but time had run out.

James was thinking along similar lines. There were many things he hadn’t ever said to Jason. There were 22 years stretched between them and the music in the bar ending into a silence was making him physically ill. It seemed a metaphor for their fucked up relationship.

“You know,” James paused. It would be hard to say, and all the therapy he’d had could only help so much in telling Jason to his face. “That’s…that’s when I realized I wasn’t completely straight. When I saw you two at Monsters of Rock.”

Jason arched an eyebrow.

“I mean, I’d never thought about fucking a guy. I mean, in an abstract way yeah, but not in the actual picturing myself fucking a guy.”

“Until you caught me and Kirk?”

“Yeah.”

Jason laughed softly. “We must of looked pretty hot then.”

James stayed quiet. Jason looked up at him with a questioning glance.

“You did,” James admitted.

Jason could see the waiter coming towards them from the corner of his eye. He wanted to say something, but didn’t want the waiter to overhear.

“I’m sorry guys,” the waiter said. “But we’re closing up.”

James glanced at Jason before getting up silently and picking up his coat before slinging in on. Jason eyed him as he got up and put on his own coat.

James looked back at him and motioned with his head to the entrance of the bar. Jason nodded and followed.

“Are you hungry?” James asked.

“Not really,” Jason answered without thinking about it.

“Neither am I.”

James eyed Jason next to him. It was a comforting sight to see him there at his right again. Maybe not on stage, but there, here, next to him again. He was surprised at how much he was enjoying this simple walk, and dreading reaching the entrance of the bar and leaving separately. He was not looking forward to saying goodbye.

“Where are you staying?” James asked.

Jason answered.

The two men walked outside into the New York night. The other patrons were lining up on the sidewalk and getting into the passing cabs. Some were getting autographs and pictures from their favorite musicians that had been inside. James saw a few people eye him and Jason, but none interrupted them, and for that he was thankful.

“That’s only like a block over from me,” James said. “You wanna share a cab?”

Jason looked up at James. James was getting old and he never looked it so much as he did at that moment. It wasn't really the lines on his face. It was the passivity he hadn't ever seen in the man. James was upset, and Jason wasn't sure why.

“Yes,” Jason said. There was a hint of desperation he couldn’t quite keep out of his voice.
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14 Years