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The Moon	By : theProphet Category: Dir en grey > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1373 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I don't know Dir en grey and make no money from this.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Author comment: As I said, I didn’t research anything about technology, space travel and other stuff like that. But I did look up what social isolation and sensory deprivation does to people, so I tried my best to portray Kyo’s psychological, physical and emotional state as accurately as I could :)

CHAPTER 5

The ringing in my ears reassumed.
I sank deeper into the blanket and forced myself to lay still. Maybe I’ll fall asleep. I need to sleep at least for a couple of hours. I feel exhausted. My toes are as cold as two pieces of ice. I forgot to put on socks again, but now I don’t want to get up anymore and look for them. Maybe soon it’ll get warmer.
Minutes pass, the ringing in my ears intensifies, the irritating itching in my throat gets stronger. I already forgot what it’s like not to have a cold. I’ve been constantly sick, every fucking day.
Finally I give up and open my eyes.
There’s a pair of legs in front of me, clad in polished black shoes and tailored trousers.
I don’t lift my eyes to look who it is. I know him too well by now.
“Go the fuck away” I snarl. “I want to sleep.”
I close my eyes again and grit my teeth. The cold slowly spreads from my toes through my legs to my hands like an incurable disease. I try very hard not to give in to shivering and ignore it. The ringing in my ears intensifies. Everything else is very quiet, so I know he’s still here.
Finally, after long minutes I hear him walk away from my bedroom. He’s now in the kitchen, browsing through my leftovers.
I can’t sleep.
I open my eyes yet again and stare at the white wall in front of me.
It’s getting hard to breathe.
I clear my throat and wet my dry lips. I wonder if I tried to sing, what would come out of me? I haven’t tried it ever since they took me away. And it’s been three years, four months and eight days. If it’s hard sometimes to remember where I left my boxers or what I had for breakfast, I never fail to remember the exact amount of time I already spent here.
Maybe, just maybe, I will pull through. After all, not much is left…
“Oh, fuck it!”
I stumble out of bed and almost fall as my legs by now are nothing but two frozen logs.
Time is not something I think about. No. It’s better I didn’t know how much time I spent here or how much more time is left.
It doesn’t matter.
Every day feels like a year to me.
I drag my tired feet to the kitchen. I wish I could sleep, but lately it’s been impossible. I don’t remember when was the last time I slept longer than for a couple of hours.
“You look like shit” he says when I enter the kitchen. I throw him a nasty glare, but he just smirks back at me.
“Piss off” I mumble, not in the mood to talk to him today. I feel anger slowly building up in the deepest, darkest corner of my chest and I can’t do anything about it. It’ll only grow and expand, I won’t be able to control it when it’ll seep through me like an overfilled cup of water.
Last time it happened I smashed all the mirrors in the bathroom. When I was finally aware of my surroundings, I was bleeding badly. If I would have stayed slumped on the floor for half an hour longer, I’d be as dead as anyone can be.
And I’m scared shitless of these moments. Because when they overwhelm me, I can’t control myself. I can’t stop. And once, when I do stop, it might just be too late.
I sit on the chair and hunch my shoulders. My whole body is sore and cold. If only I could just sleep…
“So, have you changed your mind?” he suddenly asks me.
From the corner of my eye, I see him unbutton the top button of his shirt, exposing more of his bare chest.
I gulp loudly and hunch over the chair, trying to be as invisible as possible. But inevitable happens.
I feel my cock give an impatient twitch as it stiffens a little, jolting up a fraction, coming back to life yet again.
“No” I push the answer through my gritted teeth.
I haven’t even touched myself. I’m definitely not going to touch him.
“You’re a fool” he laughs, taunting me with his poison-lased sweet voice.
It’s not like I don’t want to. I just simply can’t. They might be watching. They might be recording. And I just… The thought of giving them more power over me than they already have is unbearable.
They’re already playing with my mind as much as they can. They fabricated that call from Shinya and when I accepted it, they punished me.
I had to decline the call. And I had to immediately inform them, so that they could take any necessary measures against Shinya.
But I didn’t do that. I talked with the imposter, told him things I shouldn’t have told anybody. That’s why the punishment was brutal. It took me weeks to recover. My hands still twitch uncontrollably sometimes as a result of what they did. And the most terrible part wasn’t that they fooled me and I fell for that. It’s not that they punished me for not giving Shinya over to them. It’s that I had to inflict their punishment myself.
I did it with my own hands.
And it took me weeks to recover.
So I just can’t touch myself or indulge in anything else. I’m afraid to do anything they might not like. Even though I crave for human touch. Sometimes I wake up with sperm all over me – my body can’t endure this celibacy that was forced on me.
They put me in a cage and gave me freedom to choose when and what I ate. But if I as much as scratched my butt without their permission, I had to inflict their punishment with my own hands.
And it drove me insane with fare and panic.
“Kyo-chan” he suddenly says and I flinch from unexpectedness. “I’d say let’s just do it. After all, it’s just the two of us for the rest of our lives. We might as well start indulging ourselves in some pleasures.”
I feel sick all of a sudden.
I only manage to reach the toilet when the previous meal of beans and sausages leaves my stomach in undigested lumps. I retch and groan, until the disgusting pieces of sour food leave my throat. I wash my mouth as well as I can and then drink some water.
Is he right? Is he saying what I’m afraid to voice out loud?
Maybe the reason why most of the people never come back is that they are simply not allowed? What if when four years come to an end, they just keep them here as if nothing has changed? What if they just pronounce their deaths to the relatives waiting back on Earth and shut them out completely? No more messages from home, no more hope, just the pipes and constant chaos of long, pointless, painful days.
“N-no…” I groan. “No…”
I just sit there, hunched over the sink, trying to make my breathing even, trying to force the panic in my chest back.
BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP
I flinch startled and look around.
This is not the pipe alarm. This one is longer, I heard it only once when… when a Shinya impostor called.
I stand up on my shaky legs and slowly go to the control room. There’s a green light flashing on the computer screen. I sit down in front of it and press the button, afraid of what I’ll see on the other end.
“Nishimura-san” a man greets me as soon as his face focuses in the middle of the screen. I sigh in relief. This is just somebody from my training team. One of those assholes in suits, who explained me all the do’s and don’ts of my time here.
“We have an emergency task for you. An accident happened in Zone 3. You need to go there and clean the main clog in the pipe. If it is left unattended until we send another Cleaner, the whole facility might explode and the production will drop down by 20%.”
I stare at the screen, trying to comprehend what the meaning of what he’s saying is.
“Get into the suit and go to the elevator. We will get you down to the garage. There’s a Vehicle Type 13, it’s clearly marked, so you won’t miss it. Sit in and close the doors properly. It will take you to the Facility of Zone 3 automatically. You won’t need to drive it. The shortest and least dangerous path has been preselected many years before and is checked every 6 months to be sure it is still in its best condition.
When you get inside the garage Facility of Zone 3, everything else is the same. Go to the elevator, we will get you up, then go to the Connecting Chamber. There will be a lot of clogs in the pipes, but first go for the Pipe System 12, number 109. That’s the biggest risk and the biggest problem in the Facility.”
I still stare at the screen, not even nodding.
“We will minimize the production of your facility while you’ll be away, so the possibility of your pipes clogging will be reduced to a minimum. You’ll have plenty of time to sort out Zone 3, come back to Zone 2 and sort out the pipes here.”
Finally I manage a stiff nod.
“Go right now, Nishimura-san. It is an emergency situation.”
I nod, but the screen is already black and the red button is glowing in the middle of it again.
I stand up and somehow find my way to the Connecting chamber. After getting into the suit I go to the elevator – for the second time since I came here. I only wait for a few seconds and the door opens. Slowly, but steadily I am taken down a few levels and the door opens again.
This is not the same place where I arrived. This looks more like a normal hangar with various equipment and vehicles. I look for the one named Type 13. I get in and close the door with my trembling fingers.
Then the most amazing and scary thing happens. The door to the outside world starts opening. I hold my breath and wait.
Before me lies a vast endless expanse of nothing but grey rocks. Then I slowly lift my eyes to look at the starts. There’s nothing. Just thick and heavy blackness. And eerie silence. Just the silent humming of the Vehicle Type 13 reaches my ears.
A sudden loud BEEP startles me.
“Present point – Facility of Zone 2. Destination – Facility of Zone 3” cold robotic voice states. Then the machine jerks and starts moving.
I try to turn back and look at the Facility and its closing door, but I can’t. There’s no window at the back. I grip the wheel just to have some sense of stability and watch as the vehicle moves along the barely seen path. It jerks a lot met by the rocks in its way. But it is moving.
I stare at the view in front of me transfixed.
It’s the first time I’m out.
It’s exciting, but at the same time very scary. Anything can happen and I can be left on my own in the middle of nothing. Then I would just take my helmet off and die. Perhaps a very terrible death, but it’d be better than waiting for the oxygen to finish.
But somehow as time passes I get calmer. It’s beautiful. Even if it makes me feel like I fell in one of those Black Holes, swallowed by nothing but darkness.
I don’t look around to see how much time passes, but it’s hours before I finally see Facility of Zone 3. It’s huge, bigger than what I thought it is. That means, the one I live in is of the same size as well, even though the few rooms I use would only take as much space as a three-bedroom flat would take. Everything else is the same – the doors open, I am driven inside, I go to the elevator which is exactly in the same place as in my Facility, I am taken upstairs and get out of the elevator to find the same hall, looking identical to the one I arrived at.
Though there was one big difference. The constant BEEP of the alarm, stronger and more unnerving than I’ve ever heard it. So I quickly move to the connecting chamber and reach the pipes.
For a moment I just stare at all the flashing lights. There are at least 20 clogged pipes! If I had time to count each and every one of them, there’d be more. But I don’t waste time, I get my equipment bag and move to the Pipe System 12, number 109 – the one where the biggest problem was.
Pipes are somewhat wider here. Not much, but I can feel that tiny difference, it’s a little easier to move forward. I get further and further until I’m very deep in the pipes, deeper than I’ve ever went and I start feeling uneasy.
And a sudden trail of some red liquid suddenly materializing in the middle of my path makes me halt.
Blood.
It can only be blood.
I swallow the unpleasant lump in my throat and start moving forward on my shaky arms.
I never allowed myself to think about the one working in this facility and what happened to him, but now I will have to. Now most probably I will even see…
The thin trickle widens until it paints the entire surface of the ground. My white gloves became of a dirty red color. And then suddenly…
There are feet in the tunnel. And stones lying on and around them. And a lot of blood.
The shallow breaths I take do not go down my throat and I suddenly feel like somebody’s squeezing it, gripping it tightly and just waiting for me to suffocate.
My breathing becomes shallow and ragged and quick, and I lower my head so that I wouldn’t see the feet, but the blood – so much blood – is still all around me, over me, in me – I’m sure it got inside the suit and stained my skin and reached my every cell – and I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe - - -
“Aahhhhh!” the sound that comes from my mouth sounds like somebody else’s panic stricken voice. Not mine. This animalistic guttural scream is not mine.
Breathe.
I tell myself – breathe!
The little breaths equalize to my madly beating heart in a panic-stricken pace.
Then I close my eyes and hold my breath.
I slowly count to ten.
Then I let the air out and take a deep breath.
And I feel it finally reach my lungs and fill every dry and thirsty corner.
I don’t open my eyes for now.
I know what I have to do. It was in the emergency instructions I had to read before leaving.
I’ve got my drill. I’ve got my stones clogging the pipe. I’ve got my additional obstacle.
I have to drill right through everything in my way and unclog the pipe.
I open my eyes and look at my gloved trembling fingers.
One step at a time.
Take the bag. Take out the drill. Stare at the ground and - - -
- - - do the job.
***
My skin is already red from the hot water and wrinkled. When I feel I can no longer keep standing, I turn the water off and step out of the shower.
He’s here, watching me as always. I wonder if he’s not sweating in all the steam of the shower in his black suit.
I find a towel and dry myself, then examine every patch of skin looking for any traces of blood. But there’s nothing, I’m clean.
I wish I could get a drink. At least one. One glass of beer. Or any alcohol.
I throw the towel on the ground angrily and get into the same white trousers and shirt.
“And here I was, enjoying the show” he says disappointed.
I ignore him and go out of the shower. I feel exhausted. My legs are trembling and barely keeping me up. I go to the bedroom and fall on the bed, closing my eyes.
Images of tiny pieces of flesh scattered all over the surface of the pipes springs in front of my eyes.
I open them and stare at his two legs in front of me.
“Go away” I mumble, lacking the energy to be more persistent.
“Shitty day?” he chuckles.
I feel something starting to crawl at my feet, slowly making progress up my legs. I grit my teeth and try to ignore it.
“It’s not real” I mumble to myself.
I know it’s not real. I’ve checked every time I felt those things crawling up my skin, getting under it. I know it’s not real.
But at this moment it feels too real to me.
When finally some of those things get too close to my penis, I throw the blanket aside ant look down, panicking for a moment.
Ugly slimy worms are all over my legs, all over my bed, around me.
I jump out of bed screaming and start throwing those things off my skin, thrashing around desperately.
“Get off me! Get off me!!!”
I stumble over something and fall to the ground. The worms are gone from my legs.
Thank God.
I hunch and circle my hands around my legs, trying to squeeze myself in the corner of the room as much as I can.
Thankfully, my eyes feel too heavy, my body too tired.
The ringing in my ears reassumes, but it is like a distant echo this time.
For once I fall into a deep dreamless sleep.
***
BEEP BEEP BEEP

TBC

Not sure what to say more about this chapter… I’m still not happy with the quality of my writing in this story…
I don’t think I’ll be able to post another chapter this month, got too much on my hands as it is with work and studying and then I’m going for a short holiday ^^ So probably I’ll see you only in August ^^
Comments would be lovely, dears ^^
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The Moon