Is it hard understanding | By : screwthisimouttahere Category: My Chemical Romance > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1063 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: i do not own the frerard fandom, nor do i know My Chemical Romance, Gerard Way, Frank Iero or Mikey Way. i do not make any profit from this story and it is completely fiction. |
Chapter 5 Some things you just can’t avoid (FPOV)
Today was amazing!
I was laying in my bed trying to sleep, failing miserably as my mind wouldn’t stop racing. Today had been such a great day, I had learned so much about Gerard, like that he’s from New York and they left because his parents had split, also that the boy from the bus was his little brother-Mikey-and that he had a girlfriend back in New York, which is why they chose Jersey.He was such a sweet guy too, you could tell he was very genuine and reserved, but once you got him talking he was very interesting. After we found him a bag he liked we decided to grab some lunch cause we had both skipped lunch and were starving…
It was my fifth shot of tequila, and though I’m not a lightweight, after four rum and cokes and three beers, the fifth shot was the last shot. Everything was very blurry and only some images registered fully in my mind. People were dancing to ‘Just Dance’ from Lady Gaga, and at some point I think the song said something about taking your shirt off or turning it inside out or something, cause I remember seeing people topless and undressing others.
“C’mooooon! Take it oooofff!!!” someone slurred at me, and I remember complying taking my t-shirt off and throwing it on the floor with the rest. Somehow I was stumbling into a bedroom, someone shoving me, then hugging me from behind. I turned around and it was very dark, they kissed me and suddenly I was on a bed making out with someone. My mind was very fuzzy but my body was on a mission. The kiss was itchy and I noticed the person had a short beard. Suddenly I remembered who I was with before I ended up in this room, the person who asked me to take my top off… Tyler…He was my best friend, had been for over a year now. After realisation hit me that not only was I making out with my best friend, but that said friend was actually a guy, my mind froze for a second. I pulled apart panting, but the second I locked eyes with him I kissed him again...
My eyes snapped open, slightly blinded by the sunlight streaming through the blinds, I was sweating, and I had a fucking boner… awesome.
As it was too early for the bus and I was already set for school I decided to walk there, plus it would be good to clear my mind after last night’s dream. I don't know when I fell asleep, or why my train of thought went to the events of last summer, but I guess that’s the thing about dreams, you can’t really control them.
Still, it was weird, I haven’t really thought about that since last year, when we stopped being friends. The thing is, the morning after that party, I woke up next to him with my pants still on, thank Buddha, and when he woke up and he tried to kiss me again I pulled away. It just so happened that he wasn’t really that drunk the night before, so he knew exactly what he was doing unlike me, so while I took it as a drunk mistake he took it as our relation being moved to another level, which I didn’t want, so I started pulling away and eventually we lost touch and our friendship ended. I was very sad because he was my only close friend, and since I’ve been alone, until I met Lizzie. I arrived at school and realised most people were there. Guess I walk really slow. As I approached the front doors I caught a glimpse of black hair sitting under a nearby tree, he was drawing on a notebook and I could see many coloured pencils sprawled on the grass around him. He seemed really focused and I felt the urge to join him, the sole idea making the ants in my stomach go wild. I was about to walk to him when I saw Lindsay walking in my direction; all tingly feelings and hopes lost the second she smiled at me.This is so wrong.
I was so confused, a million thoughts running through my mind, a millions feelings stirring in my heart, and my body, frozen in place. I looked from my girlfriend to my new friend back and forth. The second he looked up and locked eyes with me was the second my body reacted, I just turned around and bolted to the school building, leaving a very shocked Lindsay and a rather confused Gerard on the parking lot.
Friday rolled around in no time and I had managed to avoid both Gerard and Lindsay the entire week. I walked everyday to and from school and left my phone off since Tuesday, my only words to Lindsay being a very quick ‘lost my charger, have to buy a new one’ while she yelled for explanations as I passed her in the hallway not looking at her in the eyes.
I really needed to talk to her, our relationship was not what it was a week ago, and I can’t keep hiding from her. She needs to know it's not her fault, that I’m just going through a weird phase. It’s not fair to do this to her, and as I turned on my phone for the first time in four days I saw the countless miscalls, voicemails and texts. Only one calling my attention.
You okay? Haven’t seen you since Tuesday… -Gerard I have to talk to him as well. This isn’t his fault either, plus I kinda miss him, which is weird if you consider I’ve known him for a week… still, I kinda do, and apparently the ants on my stomach did too. I was locking my front door when I felt someone behind me, as I turned around I felt a bit disappointed, and slightly scared. There, stood a very pissed off looking Lindsay. “You are going to talk. Now. No running away or escaping, and the walk to school is a good half an hour away, so start explaining.” She said, arms crossed, frown in place, angry stare piercing me. “I don’t know what you want me to say…” I said looking at the floor. I knew exactly what she wanted to talk about, and I don’t know why I was avoiding it. I was planning on doing it anyways, I guess it was the ambush factor that was rendering me silent. “How about the fact that you’ve been avoiding me the past week? The fact you literally run away when you see me in the halls? Or the fact that your lazy ass has all of the sudden decided it wanted to walk to and from school?” she said indignant. “Why do you care if I walk to school? You don’t take the bus, so it doesn’t affect you…” I tried to defend myself while subtly changing the topic and avoiding the real question. “First of all because that means you just so happen to conveniently arrive two seconds before the bell rings, which means I don’t get to talk to you, and second of all that is beyond the point! Why the fuck are you acting so weird lately? Did something happen? Did I-did I do something wrong…?” she was screaming, but towards the end I heard her voice crack. I couldn’t stand it if I made her cry, so I just hugged her, my only reaction whenever she cried. She sobbed softly on my shirt while I patted her hair. Suddenly she shoved me and took a couple steps back, took a deep breath and sniffed her tears away shaking her head. She looked me right in the eyes, and it was hard to hold her stare but I thought I owed her as much. “It’s not the same is it.” she stated rather that asked, “I know that during the summer things changed, I felt it, but I thought… once we… once we got back to school, and saw each other on a daily basis, things would go back to normal.” she whispered looking at the floor. During the summer? Was I that unattached that I didn’t realize our relationship had been going wrong for so long? I thought it was something so recent… Then again our relation never took the normal course relations are suppose to take, maybe this was coming on a long time ago. “I don’t know what to tell you… I’m just really confused right now, it’s not fair for you.” I didn’t know what to say… I knew I had to talk to her about this, but I guess I never actually thought of what I would say. I stopped walking to look at her. She was holding back the tears, but I guess she saw the sadness and confusion on my face cause she took a deep breath to steady herself. “So this is it? Are we… over…?” she barely got out, burning a hole on the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry. It's just that… its just that its not fair for you that I act this way… and I’m… I’m sorry.” She nodded, took a step towards me and hugged me, shocked I hugged her back and felt the tears fall down my face. I hugged her tightly and let go before I crumbled in front of her. She looked at my face, smiled, wiped the tears away and kissed me one last time before making her way towards the school building. As she walked away I saw her shoulders shaking and felt the pain of making her cry, but also I felt a sense of relief. For some reason this confusion made me feel like I was cheating, so now there was a sense of freedom to think and ponder and consider all the things I felt. I took a deep breath and marched to school. Today is going to be a rough day. I sighed as I walked just in time for first period, and as predicted the whole day was spent avoiding angry stares from the many friends of my now ex girlfriend. When lunchtime rolled around, though I was starving, one look at the table I usually sit at was enough to make me want to skip. So I headed to the music room since it was the next class, maybe I could practice the guitar for a while and distract my mind. As I entered the class I saw the one person that I was hoping to see all day and hadn’t run into yet. He was sitting on the floor with a notebook on his lap drawing away, the usual mess around him, his hair all over his face, yet he didn’t seem to mind. I smiled at the view and closed the door behind me. As soon as it clicked he looked up, and a smile formed on his face. Though I could barely see it through the streaks of hair, it was there and it was very sweet. “You reappeared…” He said brushing his hair out of his face. “Yeah, you could say that.” I chuckled and went to seat on the floor in front of him.While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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