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This Time Around	By : Daisygirl1315 Category: Reality TV > American Idol/Pop Idol Views: 11904 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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"You’ll find out, after the break," Ryan said and the Idol theme music cued as the show went to commercial.

"Can I ask Paula a question?" I heard a young girl ask into the microphone excitedly as my hair was being touched up.

I turned to face the direction where the question was coming from, plastering a fake smile on my face, doing my best to mask my unhappiness.

"Paula, how would you rate Simon as a kisser?"

The look on my face must have been one of pure horror.

It seemed like the entire studio fell silent, all eyes on me.

I swear you could have heard a pin drop.

I laughed halfheartedly.

"Umm, uhh," I stammered.

I could feel Simon’s eyes boring into me, his arms crossed across his chest smugly.

"Kiss him, kiss him!" Randy shouted.

Before I knew what was happening I felt his hand on my back, pushing me in Simon’s direction.

I leaned towards him hesitantly as he smiled, opening his arms to me.

No way in hell was I going to kiss him.

Not as mad as I was at him.

Not in front of all these people.

Instead I leaned forward and placed my chin on his shoulder, closing my eyes briefly as I breathed in his natural scent.

"Oh, c’mon, tell them how good a kisser I am," he whispered.

"Not on your life," I responded lightly. "That’s for me to know and them to…well, never find out."

"Fair enough," he replied.

I breathed against him, unwilling to remove myself from his embrace.

Despite the caliber of my hurt and anger, I still needed to be near him.

I still needed him to hold me, and touch me, love me.

I needed him to make it all alright.

"Paula, come tonight," he whispered. "Come with me, and I’ll prove in front of all of those people how good a kisser I am."

I tried not allow the way he kept saying the word "come" get to me.

That’s what I wanted to do tonight in the first place, "come with you", I wanted to say.

But instead I just laughed, my bare chest rubbing against his as we remained in the embrace.

"I’ll think about it," I whispered before I leaned back as the countdown from the commercial break began.

~**~

"Sky bar," I told my driver as I entered the limo quickly, glancing at the time.

I was running extremely late.

Even Simon was probably there by now.

Nervous butterflies coursed through me as I imagined what his reaction would be when I walked through the door of the party.

Maybe he’d greet me elaborately.

Maybe he’d kiss me grandiosely as I walked inside.

And then maybe I’d wipe my lips, pretending to be disgusted.

Or maybe I’d kiss him back for once and shock the hell out of him.

Maybe he’d tease me about how late I was.

Maybe he’d speak loudly about how even he was there before I was so everyone would laugh.

And maybe I’d laugh.

Or maybe I’d pretend to be annoyed.

Or maybe I’d wrap my arms around his waist and make a comment about how the party can begin now, because no doubt it was a bore before I had arrived.

And maybe he’d put his arm around my neck, bending his elbow and holding me close to him.

Maybe we’d mingle with one crowd after another, never leaving each others’ side.

And maybe as the night wore on his arm would drop down and he’d rest his hand on the small of my back.

And it’d never leave that spot.

It’d just rest there, protectively.

Letting everyone in the room know I was his.

"I’ve grown to tolerate her," he’d say.

"I can’t imagine doing the show without her," he’d tell the crowd gathered round, kissing my temple tenderly.

"I hate to admit this," I’d join in. "But I actually do miss him when we’re not together. How will I ever survive the summer?" I’d ask rhetorically, using exaggerated theatrics as I’d place the back of my hand against my forehead, pretending to feel faint.

And he’d lean down and press his lips softly on the tip of my nose, the thumb on my lower back simultaneously massaging in small, consistent circles.

And maybe we’d sneak off by ourselves every once in a while, when we thought no one was watching.

Maybe he’d kiss me softly and we’d wish we were alone.

Maybe we’d make plans to leave the party separately in a failed attempt to look inconspicuous.

And maybe everyone would know what we’re up to, but play along anyway.

I opened my eyes again and looked out the tinted window of the limousine, smiling to myself.

Maybe going to the party wasn’t such a bad idea after all, I mused.

A few moments passed and we pulled up at the Sky Bar, the parking lot full of expensive cars, men working the valet, and a line of fans and other hopefuls, attempting to find a way past security to get inside.

My bodyguards were at the curb when my limo pulled up, ready to give me a helping hand when the door opened.

I stepped out and a wave of gaps rushed through the crowd as I was recognized.

"It’s Paula Abdul!" I heard someone shout as flashbulbs went off, snapping candids as I plastered on a fake smile.

"We love you Paula!" I heard a few girls chorus and I clenched the arm of the guard to my right.

"Love you too," I answered blindly as I pushed my way to the door.

I was concerned with playing the role of ‘Paula Abdul, the celebrity’. I just wanted to get inside and be near Simon.

With Simon.

On top of Simon.

Ha.

I neared the door and sped inside, impatience getting the best of me.

Once inside, the party was abuzz with celebrities, VIP’s, and other officials having to do with Fox and American Idol.

I scanned the crowd at first for Simon, and upon having no luck finding him, I began searching for any familiar face.

My eyes settled on a large black man, donned in a loud Hawaiian shirt and a coordinating hat.

"Randy," I breathed with a sigh of relief and I made my way towards him, only stopping short to shake hands or converse with those who interrupted me.

I tapped Randy on the shoulder and he turned around, eyes lighting up when his gaze settled on my petite frame.

"Paula, dawg! I thought you weren’t coming?" he exclaimed, embracing me briefly.

I shrugged.

"Change of plans," I shouted above the crowd, smiling up at him.

I glanced first at his face and then shifted my gaze over his shoulder, still looking for Simon.

"It’s crazy here tonight, isn’t it man?" he asked, motioning towards the crowd.

"Yeah, it is," I replied half heartedly.

"Who would have guessed three years ago Idol would be this huge?" he continued.

"Ummm, I don’t know. Listen, where’s Simon?" I asked, impatient with the small talk.

Attempting to find him was quickly becoming like a game of ‘Where’s Waldo’.

"He’s over there," Randy motioned towards a large crowd. "But baby girl, you may not wanna go over there-" I heard him saying as I walked away.

"Thanks Randy, I’ll be fine!" I waved my hand over my head, retreating as fast as my two legs would carry me.

When I pushed my way to the crowd where Simon was, I discovered a multitude of girls surrounding him on all four sides.

They looked like hungry vultures, hanging on every word and movement he made.

He had a girl on each arm, one tall, skinny brunette, with too much makeup and not enough clothes.

On the other side was a blonde about my height. She looked a good deal younger than him, which I guess shouldn’t have surprised me. She wore minimal makeup and was dressed somewhat more casually than everyone else.

Totally not someone I’d ever imagine being Simon’s type.

I caught a glimpse of his arm, his hand resting softly on her lower back.

Just as I’d imagined him doing with me.

She looked up at him and whispered something coyly and he smiled back down at her before placing a gentle kiss on the side of her face.

I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach.

I felt as if the walls -the crowd- were all closing in on me.

I had to get out.

Now.

At that same moment, Simon’s gaze crossed the room and our eyes met.

The eye contact probably only lasted a second, but it felt like an eternity.

I wanted to move, no, I wanted to run.

But I couldn’t.

He had me frozen in place.

His expression softened, as a look of apology crossed his features.

"You came," he mouthed.

I stumbled, blindly, as I broke the gaze and pushed my way towards the nearest exit.

Once outside I gasped, taking in the cool, fresh air in gulps.

"Andrew-" I said to the guard outside. "Get me a cab now. I need to go home."
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This Time Around