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Pixie Dust and Dark Voids	By : shibbydm Category: Individual Celebrities > Gerard Butler Views: 4192 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Gerard Butler. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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“Maggie please come on,” Jade shouted, pulling her daughter from Doug’s arms.
”No” she screamed, “Daddy promised, he double promised, why do we have to go back?”
”Daddy cant come and get you sweetie, please come on, we are going home to see Tink and Jake and everyone else. Ok?”
Maggie gave up and fell to the floor, weeping to herself. “Daddy promised” Jade grabbed her and lifted her in her arms.
”Daddy promises a lot of things, now lets go. Doug, thanks for having her, I’m sorry about this, but I need to go”
”That’s ok” Doug sighed, “You want a lift to the airport?”
”Please, thank you so much” Jade smiled for the first time that hour, lowering Maggie to the floor she helped put the bags in Doug’s car and sat Maggie in the back. Doug pulled out of the drive, carrying Gerard’s family. He knew he owed it to Gerard to make sure they got wherever they were going safely. When Doug returned he found Gerard sitting on his porch, clutching a tiny Marek doll in his hands.
”Gerard, I don’t even know what to say” Doug whined, sitting beside him, “I gave her a lift”
”Thank you” his voice sounded gruff. “
”What happened” Doug asked, “I mean do you want to talk about it?”
”I’ve lost them.” He laughed, “I cant believe it has come to this” patting Doug on the shoulder he stood to his feet and walked off toward his hotel. Humming softly to himself, still clutching Maggie’s little doll, he looked to the sky and saw a plane fly above him. Are they on that? Will they really go home? Will she come back? Can I get there in time? He tortured himself with these questions until he got back to the hotel, there he collapsed on his bed, emotionally exhausted from everything, and he drifted into a restless sleep.

And so Jade took Maggie home, back to Manhattan. Gerard stayed at the hotel until it was time, then he went to Paris alone. While there he spotted several little girls he thought was Maggie and hundreds of woman that in the corner of his eye he was certain was his wife. But no, he was totally alone. Luckily he was a good actor, and it didn’t affect his work. Dragging him self out of bed every morning grew harder as he moved to Russia to film a few scenes. The idea that he had to head home had him feeling physically sick; Jade hadn’t tried to contact him since she let him. He was too stubborn to call her, why should he she walked out on him. Maggie was why he should. He knew that, he missed his daughter so much it hurt.

Jade sat in silence, staring at Maggie on the floor. It was her birthday in 2 weeks; she would be three years old. Looking at her now she didn’t look 3, she looked tiny, but her eyes gave away how she had aged over these last 2 weeks without her father. Maggie was no longer happy she was silent, she would spend hours staring out the window looking for him, it tore Jade to pieces.
”Jade” Jake interrupted her train of thought, “Shall I take her the park or something, its not natural the way she is cooped up staring out that window”
”She wont enjoy it, she wants her father. Why hasn’t he called? How selfish can one man be?”
”I think he is just as confused as you. You know he would never ignore her, or miss her birthday. I know you think he is going to do that”
”What else has he to come here for?” Jade sighed, sipping her hot chocolate.
”You, he loves you. God you love him, I don’t understand what can’t be fixed when you both know what”
”Its not the same, we are distant now”
”Really well you both want to stop thinking about yourselves for once and think of that child there, because its her who is suffering the most”
Jake stood to his feet and grabbed his coat, slamming the door behind him, Jade wondered how many slammed door Maggie was going to be exposed to in her early years. Placing her cup on the side she called Maggie to her. Nestled on the chair, she pulled a blanket around them both and stroked her hair. Staring into her little face her eyes bore through her. Gerard’s eyes, when Gerard was hurting inside Jade knew by his eyes, she could see by Maggie’s that the poor child was torn.
”Do you want to talk to your dad?” Jade whispered, Maggie nodded solemnly, her eyes never leaving Jade as she dialled in Gerard’s mobile number. Jade sat Maggie down, and gave her the phone that was already ringing. Walking out of the room she closed the door over and leant against it, silent tears running down her face.

Gerard sipped his tea and stared at the sky, suddenly jumping when he heard his phone ringing. Running to search through his coat pockets, he found it and saw ‘Home’ on the screen.
”Jade” he cried out, lifting the phone to his ear.
”Daddy?” a small voice hit his ear.
”Maggie, oh sweet Maggie Mae. Its daddy”
”Where are you?”
”I’m in Russia sweetheart.”
”When are you coming home?”
Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat, “I..I don’t know” he stammered, “I have Marek, I found him”
”Keep him” she whispered, sobs racking her small voice.
”Maggie please don’t cry, you’ll make daddy cry”
”You promised” she wept.
Gerard let a tear fall down his cheek, his last words with his daughter playing over and over in his mind, “I did promise, but I couldn’t help that one. Look I promise I will be home for your birthday, I will come and see you”
”Goodbye Daddy”
”Maggie wait, please. I will be there ok. I promise, I will bring Marek and it will be ok again. I love you darling.”
”Love you dad”
Gerard heard the dialling tone and his stomach flipped, she called him Dad. She had never called him dad before I was always daddy or dada. Gerard wept for his daughter and how she was being forced to grow up and mature. It wasn’t fair on her at all. Dialling the home number he called back.

Jade stared at the phone; she knew it would be him. Maggie had shot past her in tears and ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door. Another slam, another wall built up. Jade stared at the phone and snarled at it, running upstairs after her daughter, she held her close and begged for her forgiveness.
”I’m sorry Maggie Mae. I’m sorry I cant be all you want” Jade whispered, stroking her daughters hair. Gerard’s voice echoed in her ear, he had pleaded that same line to her weeks before. Soon Jades tears joined Maggie’s and then lay in silence together, weeping for the man they both loved so dearly.

Gerard sat staring at the phone, wanting to smash it in his hand. Jade was ignoring him. Checking his calendar he realised he had two days of filming left, then he could go home. Home he was going. he was determined. He wanted his life back.

“Maggie please eat,” Jade coaxed, sitting opposite her daughter. Maggie just stared at the food on her plate, occasionally pushing it around with her fork. The phone rang for the 8th time that evening and Jade dropped her fork in anger.
”Mummy answer the phone, it’s loud and I have a sore ear”
Jade stared at he daughter and walked out to get the phone, “Hello?”
”Jade” Margaret’s voice filled her ear, “How was Paris? Did you guys have fun? Just calling to ask if you will tell Gerard to stop with the kilt jokes, his interviews are shaming our family” Margaret laughed at her own joke but received silence from Jade. “Jade are you ok?”
”Yes, sorry Mags. Listen Gerard and me…. we aren’t. Well maybe you should call him”
”Well I did, he said he is coming home tomorrow to get you. Well that’s what he said to me, he said you weren’t going to Russia, and he was to come get you”
”When was this?” Jade stammered.
”Earlier today, I was just wondering how Maggie was”
”She is fine, just eating her dinner”
”Ahh right, well I’ll call back later on or tomorrow then, tell her I love her wont you”
”Will do goodbye Mags” Jade hung up the phone and stared at the wall ahead of her. Her wedding picture stared back, her and Gerard grinning holding each other, what had happened to that feeling? What had happened to their vows of devotion? Gerard hadn’t told his mother they weren’t talking, why didn’t he? He told her everything else. Jade stared closer at Gerard’s hypnotising grin, and fell in love with him all over again. To her he was a beautiful disaster; through the laughter he was myth and magic. Compelling and a tragedy, he’s never enough but still too much for her. Blinking back a tear she returned to the dinner table.

Later that night in bed, she lay and stared at the ceiling, sleep didn’t come easy to her without him, and curling up on his side of the bed she tried to think what she should do. If he told his mother he was coming he wouldn’t stop at nothing. He would arrive here tomorrow whether she wanted to see him or not. Inside she was desperate to see him, hold him, and love him. Yet her head told her she was opening herself for more pain.

The next day she was on edge, expecting him to burst in any minute. Unsure whether he would be furious or loving. Looking at the clock, she had 10 minutes to collect Maggie from pre-school. Grabbing her car keys, she headed outside to her new car and jumped in. Gripping the wheel, she exhaled; he probably wouldn’t have the balls to turn up here. He would probably get into a hotel or something. Yet inside she knew him, and fully expected to see him sitting on their doorstep when she returned. Driving into the car park, she stepped out and walked to the door.
”Hey Janice” Jade smiled, hugging her neighbour, “You should have said Mickey was in today, I would have collected him for you”
”Yeah I was just saying to Gerard. Mike was supposed to collect him but you know what men are like. At least yours is trained. What are you doing here?”
”Sorry, wait. You were speaking to Gerard?”
”Yes..i Jade” Janice called after her confused as Jade ran into the school, stopping at reception she scanned down the list, sure enough next to Maggie’s name was Gerard’s signature. Where had he taken her? Running back outside she grabbed Janice.
”Did he say where he was going, when did he leave?”
”Jade What on earth has gotten into you? I assumed he was going home, where you live?”
Jade jumped in the car and sped off home, leaving the engine running she dived out of the car and ran to the house, finding it empty. A note lay on the side.

”Just taking Maggie for an overdue outing. Be back before tea.
Your husband”

Jade cringed at the last line, it wasn’t signed with kisses or the love they usually bestowed, it seemed alien. Like he was a stranger. Looking around the house, she saw Tink running about clearly excited. He had been here alright. Falling onto the sofa, she flicked off her shoes and laid thinking about what her life had come too. For a split second she was terrified he had taken her away. Taken her to Scotland or something, but he would never do that. She knew he wouldn’t. Closing her eyes she felt tears creeping again, and pulled herself into a ball.

The door slamming woke her up. “Mum?” Maggie screamed. Jade jumped from the sofa and clutched her child to her, hugging her. Glancing at the clock, it was 5.30. She must have fallen asleep. Maggie had chocolate around her mouth, and the tell tale small of star bucks coffee. In her hand she clutched Marek and a balloon. Jade looked up as he walked into the living room.
”Don’t you ever do that to me again!” she shouted, surprised at how loud she actually was. Maggie’s smile dropped and she turned to face her father.
Gerard stared at jade, “Do what? Take my daughter out?”
”You didn’t even tell me? You just took her. Jesus Christ, you have some nerve”
”Yeah and so do you, walking out on me when you know I can’t follow you. Taking my daughter away from me and then ignoring my calls for the last two weeks”
Jade bit her tongue and glared at him, god he looked fantastic. He had clearly been working out for Bond, and he had his stubble to perfection.
”Don’t think you can walk in here and pick up where we left off”
”Who said I even wanted to” he roared at her, “I came to see my daughter” Gerard trembled, she looked amazing as usual, even more sexy now she was clearly angry at him.
”Gerard get out” Jade shouted.
Maggie suddenly screamed and ran to him, holding one of his legs. Weeping loudly, she was shouting. “Stoppit stoppit. Stop fighting please” Gerard stared down at her, then back to jade.
”Can I at least put her to bed please”
Jade sighed and threw her hands in the air, “Fine. 10 minutes. Don’t milk it”
Gerard glared at her and lifted his daughter up, “Come on darling”

Sitting on the sofa, Jade clasped her hands together. Hearing him walk down the stairs she jumped to her feet. Gerard walked into the room and jumped as Tink dived at him, clawing up his leg. Smiling, he stroked her and placed her back on the floor.
”Can I take her out tomorrow?” he asked. Jade looked him up and down.
”Yes, but no more taking her without asking me”
”I don’t need to ask you Jade, I’m being polite”
”You do need to ask, she is my daughter”
”Yes but without me she wouldn’t be here would she? Fathers rights and all that bollocks, I’m serious Jade your not keeping her from me. I love her too”
Jade smiled, and laughed at him, “You really think I would do that?”
”I don’t know what you are capable of anymore.”
Jade laughed again and shook her head.
”Stop laughing at me Jade you know I hate that”
Jade stared at him, and turned away, screaming as he lunged for her pressing her up against the wall, they stood pressed against each other. Staring into each other’s eyes, their lips were centimetres apart.
”I miss you Jade,” he breathed. Jade leant forward and kissed him softly on the lips, pushing him off when his hands wrapped round her and his need pressed against her.
”What time tomorrow?” she asked. Gerard closed his eyes in pain and leant against her shoulder. Hugging her tightly, he stood refusing to move.
”Gerard let me go” she whined, trying to push him off her.
”Never again” he smiled, holding her face and kissing her again. “Please can we talk about this?”
Jade sighed and looked into his eyes, they flashed as they always did when she stared into them. “Fine, we can talk. You can make the coffee.”
Gerard smiled and finally let go of her, throwing off his coat he walked into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle.
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Pixie Dust and Dark Voids