Angel's Shock

Angel's Shock chapter 6


 The following is a work of total fiction. I have never met Darren or Daniel and like everyone else apart from them and their partners I do not know their true sexual preferences. I do not mean any disrespect or harm to either of them.
 
 
A few days later Darren heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. He stared in disbelief.
 
"Angel! Oh God, baby I have been so worried! Wheree yoe you been? Are you ok?"
 
He tried to hug her but she pushed him away.
 
"I'm not coming back, Darren. Get that idea right out of your head, it's never going to happen."
 
"You can't mean that! I love you Angel, please forgive me?"
 
"I only came here because I have something to tell you. Can I come in?"
 
"Of course you can, this is your home."
 
"Not any more it's not!" She entered the house and went into the lounge room.
 
"Can I get you anything?"
 
"Some iced water."
 
He returned with her water and handed her the glass.
 
"Thankson't think you would! But that's ok, because I never wanted anyone else. I only ever wanted you. I never cheated on you; I have never even been tempted by anyone else. Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?"
 
"It has nothing to do with my relationship with you. Please believe that. What we have has always been very special. We never meant for it to happen, it just did."
 
"How? Who made the first move? You or Daniel?"
 
"I guess it was Danny, but I'm not putting the blame entirely with him. We are both equally to blame for allowing it to happen. We were working on some songs over at his place and we had a couple of drinks and started messing around. Danny said something silly and I made fun of what he said so he dove at me, pinned me to the ground and started tickling me. You know what I'm like when I'm being tickled! Anyway I'm giggling and begging him to stop then we realised that we were so close our lips were almost touching. He looked me in the eyes then leaned closer and kissed me. I was a little shocked at first but then I realised I was enjoying it and started to respond. Before long we were naked and making love on the floor."
 
"Just like that? he ghe go inside you that first time?"
 
"No, he wanted me inside him. He'd done it before, he was more used to it. He taught me what to do. He said he didn't want to hurt me."
 
"So it hurts?"
 
"Yeah, it hurts! Where do you think the phrase 'hurts like buggery' comes from? You get used to it, the pleasure soon overcomes the pain."
 
"But why would you want to hurt someone that you claim to love? If that kind of sex is painful, why do it?"
 
"It is very pleasurable once you get through the pain, that's why. It's worth the pain and it doesn't hurt that much once you get used to it. You just have to make sure your partner is ready, well lubricated, so you can go in without too much discomfort to your partner."
 
"Did you ever want to take me like that?"
 
"No, I wouldn't do that to you. I don't need to hurt you to make love to you. I was quite happy to do it the proper way with you. I got the other from Daniel. I know it was wrong but I wanted the best of both worlds, I was greedy. But it was never just about sex with Daniel. I guess I had feelings for him soon after we met. I thought it was just feelings of friendship, and it was at first. After the first time we made love Daniel confessed that he'd been in love with me almost from the very moment he met me. He'd kept his true feelings hidden because he didn't want to freak me out and lose my friendship. I soon realised that my feelings for him were also deeper than friendship. I was in love with him too."
 
"And all this started six months ago? Did you ever do it in our bed?"
 
"No, we mostly only did it at Daniel's. When we did it here it was in the spare room or in the lounge room. Our bed is sacred, just for you and I. I wouldn't have anyone else in there, sweetheart."
 
"That's supposed to make it better? It's ok so long as you don't do it in our bed?"
 
"That's not what I meant. Nothing can make what I did right, but I can't help my feelings. You don't choose who you fall in love with. You said it yourself; you can't control your sexuality. I am what I am. I always believed I was straight now I know that I am bisexual. I love Daniel, I believe I always will. But I will always love you, I always have. Nothing can take that away. Please forgive me and come back. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you."
 
"Sorry, just as you can't help how you feel about Daniel, I can't help how I feel. I get sick just thinking about what I saw you doing; I'll never forget it. How am I supposed to forgive you after finding you like that? All I want is for you to help me with the baby. If you can't do that then I'm not sure if I can go through with having it. I don't know if I could cope totally alone."
 
"So if I don't agree to help you, you'll have an abortion? I never thought I'd hear you say that. Aboron't think you would! But that's ok, because I never wanted anyone else. I only ever wanted you. I never cheated on you; I have never even been tempted by anyone else. Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?"
 
"It has nothing to do with my relationship with you. Please believe that. What we have has always been very special. We never meant for it to happen, it just did."
 
"How? Who made the first move? You or Daniel?"
 
"I guess it was Danny, but I'm not putting the blame entirely with him. We are both equally to blame for allowing it to happen. We were working on some songs over at his place and we had a couple of drinks and started messing around. Danny said something silly and I made fun of what he said so he dove at me, pinned me to the ground and started tickling me. You know what I'm like when I'm being tickled! Anyway I'm giggling and begging him to stop then we realised that we were so close our lips were almost touching. He looked me in the eyes then leaned closer and kissed me. I was a little shocked at first but then I realised I was enjoying it and started to respond. Before long we were naked and making love on the floor."
 
"Just like that? he ghe go inside you that first time?"
 
"No, he wanted me inside him. He'd done it before, he was more used to it. He taught me what to do. He said he didn't want to hurt me."
 
"So it hurts?"
 
"Yeah, it hurts! Where do you think the phrase 'hurts like buggery' comes from? You get used to it, the pleasure soon overcomes the pain."
 
"But why would you want to hurt someone that you claim to love? If that kind of sex is painful, why do it?"
 
"It is very pleasurable once you get through the pain, that's why. It's worth the pain and it doesn't hurt that much once you get used to it. You just have to make sure your partner is ready, well lubricated, so you can go in without too much discomfort to your partner."
 
"Did you ever want to take me like that?"
 
"No, I wouldn't do that to you. I don't need to hurt you to make love to you. I was quite happy to do it the proper way with you. I got the other from Daniel. I know it was wrong but I wanted the best of both worlds, I was greedy. But it was never just about sex with Daniel. I guess I had feelings for him soon after we met. I thought it was just feelings of friendship, and it was at first. After the first time we made love Daniel confessed that he'd been in love with me almost from the very moment he met me. He'd kept his true feelings hidden because he didn't want to freak me out and lose my friendship. I soon realised that my feelings for him were also deeper than friendship. I was in love with him too."
 
"And all this started six months ago? Did you ever do it in our bed?"
 
"No, we mostly only did it at Daniel's. When we did it here it was in the spare room or in the lounge room. Our bed is sacred, just for you and I. I wouldn't have anyone else in there, sweetheart."
 
"That's supposed to make it better? It's ok so long as you don't do it in our bed?"
 
"That's not what I meant. Nothing can make what I did right, but I can't help my feelings. You don't choose who you fall in love with. You said it yourself; you can't control your sexuality. I am what I am. I always believed I was straight now I know that I am bisexual. I love Daniel, I believe I always will. But I will always love you, I always have. Nothing can take that away. Please forgive me and come back. I love you so much. I don't want to lose you."
 
"Sorry, just as you can't help how you feel about Daniel, I can't help how I feel. I get sick just thinking about what I saw you doing; I'll never forget it. How am I supposed to forgive you after finding you like that? All I want is for you to help me with the baby. If you can't do that then I'm not sure if I can go through with having it. I don't know if I could cope totally alone."
 
"So if I don't agree to help you, you'll have an abortion? I never thought I'd hear you say that. Abortion is murder, isn't that what you've always said? I thought we agreed hat.hat."
 
"I don't want to kill our baby, but I can't do it alone. I need to know you'll be there for us, even if I can't forgive you. If you want to make it a condition that if I want your help I have to come back to you, then I'll make an appointment for a termination. I won't be blackmailed into coming back to you. We're finished and that's final."
 
"You won't be blackmailed? Isn't that what you're doing? You're saying I have to help you with the baby, even though you and I won't be together anymore, and if I don't you'll kill our baby. That sounds very much like blackmail to me."
 
"That's not how I meant it. It's just going to be tough enough not having you around all the time like a proper father should be, without having to work full time to make sure the baby gets fed and clothed. Not that I don't intend working at all, I'll keep my job, maybe cut back on my hours, but I'll need you to take care of the baby while I'm at work, when you're not on tour that is. I don't want to dump it on my parents all the time, that's not fair."
 
"Angel I've already said I'll help you, please don't even consider getting rid of it. I'll have the baby any time you want me to and of course I'll support it financially too. And that's unconditional, I'm not going to force you to come back to me. If you don't want to be with me I'll have to accept that. I don't have to like it or be happy about it but I will respect your feelings and decision. I only hope that someday you will be able to forgive me. I swear I never meant to hurt you."
 
"But you did, Darren. I've never been hbefobefore; I've been lucky I didn't know what it was like to hurt. I do now, thanks to you. You broke my heart; it'll take a lot to get over this. Why couldn't you have just been honest with me? Why let me find out like that?"
 
"I wanted to tell you, really I did. Danny kept telling me I had to tell you, but I was so afraid of losing you, I just couldn't. I was a coward and I'm sorry for not telling you, I sure as hell didn't want you to find out the way you did. You couldn't have found out a worse way than you did. I know how much of a shock it must have been. It was a shock for us when we saw you there, but I know it was nothing compared to the shock you got."
 
"You're damned right it was a shock! You and I have always been so close, I never thought we would ever have any secrets. Then you land this one on me! I think I'm going to need therapy to get over it! I'm not sure how much easier it would have been to accept it if you had told me but it would have been less of a shock than walking in on you like that. Was Daniel staying here all the time I was away?"
 
"Yes he was. I know it doesn't make it any better but I promise you I never made love with him in our bed. We always slept together in the spare bed. I know you don't understand the love Danny and I share, it took me a little while to accept I was in love with a man but it is love that I feel for him. I never had feelings like this for a man before. The only person I ever felt like this about is you. You were always my one and only, I never thought I would fall in love with someone else. I know I will never love another woman. If you really can't forgive me and come back to me I want Danny and I to be together forever. I will always love him, just as I will always love you."
 
"It has been so hard for me to accept what I saw and your feelings for Danny. And you're right I don't really understand it, it's not natural for two men to love each other in that way, but I am starting to accept it. I will never come back to you, I can't share you and I can't ask you to give Daniel up. Hopefully we can at least be civil towards each other if only for the sake of our child, and maybe one day we can rienriends but we will never again be anything more. It's sad to think that it's all over after all that we've shared over the years, but I guess that's life. We live and learn and we have to get on with our lives. So you accept responsibility for this child? You'll help me?"
 
"Yes I will help you and I agree we should try to at least be friends for the sake of the baby."
 
"How do you think Daniel will feel about us having this baby? This is the one thing I can give you that he can't, it's bound to upset him."
 
"He'll be ok. He'll be happy enough that he won't have to share me anymore. You really have a good heart you know, worrying about how Daniel will take the news. After all we've put you through."
 
"I've always liked Daniel, I can't hate him, even after what's happened. I can't even hate you for deceiving me the way you did. When you tell him he's likely to think that we may decide to try again for the sake of the baby. He needn't worry because it won't happen, make sure you tell him that. Neither of you can help your feelings and I know you didn't deliberately set out to hurt me. If I hadn't come home early and found out the way I did hopefully you would have told me sooner or later."
 
"I would have told you before if I hadn't been so afraid of losing you. I lost you anyway, I wish I had have told you. Danny's willing to share me with you, you know."
 
"Good for him! I couldn't share you; I couldn't bare it knowing that you're making love with him when you're not with me. I'm sorry but it's best if we call it a day. Please accept that or I'm not sure if we will be able to even be friends. The next problem will be what to tell people about why we broke up; I'd rather not tell them the truth. My dad would kill you if he found out the truth, you promised him you would never hurt me."
 
"I'd rather not tell anyone the truth either, Danny and I aren't ready to go public yet. I reckon your dad would make it very public if he knew. You decide what you want to tell people and I'll go along with it. You can say you found me with a woman if it makes it better for you."
 
"And you think if I tell my parents that my dad won't kill you? Whatever I tell them my dad's at least going to want to deck you! You know that right?"
 
"Yeah I know it and I deserve it. I'll take whatever he wants to do to me. Would you ask him not to actually kill me? I would like to live a bit longer!"
 
"Don't worry he won't actually kill you but you mightn't be too pretty for a while!"
 
"I'm really sorry Angel. I'm sorry it had to end this way, sorry for hurting you. We had some great times didn't we?"
 
"Yes we did. I don't regret the time we've had together. I wish it didn't have to end like this but as I said I cahelphelp my feelings. Unlike Daniel I'm not prepared to share you and things can never be the same between us so you're better off being with Daniel. He loves you; he'll take care of you. Also you have your career to think about, it's all taking off. A successful album, tour lined up, you're getting everything you ever dreamed about. Be happy Darren it's what I want for you despite what's happened. I know you and Danny are going to be a huge success, you are already and you deserve it, you've both worked really hard."
 
"I may be getting the fame and success I always wanted but losing you takes away some of the excitement, I wanted you to share it with me. After all the help and encouragement you've given me over the years you deserve to share in the success now. I know it's my fault. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'll always love you, Angel, always believe that. You're very precious to me and I can understand if your dad does want to hurt me after what I did. If I ever hear another man has hurt you, I will want to deck him. I'll always be here for you, baby, always. Can I get a hug?" He had tears in his eyes.
 
"Of course, come here."