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Tony Loves Benji	By : MyBloodItches Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Good Charlotte Views: 2466 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Good Charlotte. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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So it went on that way for some time- the two of us having late night pillow kissing sessions while the rest of wor world was fast asleep. I hated to admit it, but with ever day that passed the more I couldn’t deny that I was falling for the man, hard.

Sure I’d been in love before, but this surpassed anything Id ever felt for anyone. It was like quick sand- once one foot was in I was sucked in up to my neck. And Tony? He was as hard to read as ever. Sometimes I wanted to say there was more to him- a part to him aside from the alcoholic chain-smoker everyone else knew. But then others I wondered what I was going messing around with him in the first place. It wasn’t like I’d ever have the courage to tell people what was going on. Maybe I was afraid they’d hate me, maybe I was scared to actually say the words. Whatever the reason may be- I knew Tony didn’t care. I felt like I could almost trust him.

“Jesus Benji. It’s been two months- ya know I’m getting pretty tired of hearing that ‘I’m not ready’ bullshit. Ya know I stopped fucking a lot of other people for you. You should show alittle more appreciation.” I detested my inability to stand up for myself when It came to him. I couldn’t ever say the words my mind screamed to say. Just because I was scared I’d piss him off- and he’d walk away. As stupid as that is it’s true, I didn’t want my feelings to stop.

“Please don't start this right now….please? I invited you here to eat dinner with my family, not to start something.” I scowled to him barely audible- from my seat on my bedrooms floor- just gazing up at the more commanding man in the doorway. I always felt li sma small child next to him- simply inferior.

“Eat with your family…like I’m your fucking boyfriend or something.” He snickered as if amused with the idea. I felt my ears burning at the mention of the word ‘boyfriend’. It’d never occurred to me- where I thought it was all going. We could never have a real relationship- not an out in the open one ays.ays.

“No…okay just- You like my mom- you like Joel. So what’s the big deal?” I asked alittle frustrated- sometimes I hated how thick headed he could be. Was it that he wasn't comprehending or that he wasn’t caring- I’m not so sure now looking back.

“I don't want dinner. I Want to fuck.” He continued to press, being rather cut and dry with his speech. The words made me want to scream- because I could already see that inviting him was a mistake. There just was not enough time in the day to argue with him and be ctedcted to have dinner with my family. And Tony was obviously too selfish of a person to compromise. That being more than apparent by his behavior.

“I think you’re forgetting that I’m alittle bigger than you are- if I really wanted it I could take it.” He theoke oke to me, almost as a threat. I wrinkled my nose at the comment- unable to decide whether he was kidding or not.

“Shhh- look they could hear you okay? Just be quiet- if you don't want to come out there with me, then just wait in here for the rest of the night I don't care. But seriously- do not make a scene..” I nearly begged to him, with eyes pleading for understanding. I should have known I’d get more than I ever bargained for with him.

“Yeah…I got you.” He smiled to me suddenly, his entire mood changing. “Come on lets go eat…what’d you make?” He asked as if now completely sold on the idea of dinning with the rest of us. I forced a half smile- almost impressed with his decision to quit being so selfish.

“Ordered Chinese.” I laughed shaking my head- he should have known that.

“Oh yeah that’s right you cant cook for shit.” He laughed out loud after we both took our seats at my house’s dark wooden table. My mother and Joel both smiled at Tony, nodding their hellos. Tony had always been a friend of the entire Madden house hold- aside from the excessive cussing and spitting, mtherther thought the blonde to be a delight. Go figure. And Joel- Joel was like me, he’d always found Tony a good friend. Though I doubt his admiration for the man ever went as far as my own.

And dinner went on without a bump for a good 45 minutes, the four of us making idol chit chat about this and that. All the while I felt a set of eyes burning into me- he just sat staring at me, as if the sight really interested him that much. To be honest, it almost made me feel alittle uncomfortable- the boys eyes fixated on myself. Made me feel a bit nervous even.

“Well that should be wonderful Anthony..” My mother regaled still eating out of the palm of the boys hand. I guess he had that affect on a lot of people. Because everyone seemo juo just fall right into his trap. “I know Benjamin sure could use alittle something to keep his mind occupied..” She then commented looking up to me- and I was blank. I had no clue what either of the two had been speaking of, so naturally I just nodded my head trying to zone the entire scenario out. Something about the two of us sitting at that table pretending t som something we weren’t, made me sick.

“Oh, well Benji’s found plenty to keep him busy..” He spoke up, in that same sickening voice- making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “In fact- that’s why he invited you here today…he’s come to a really important decision in his life…he’s just so shy its hard to get it out to you himself..” He spoke, and everything was going in slow motion- I could see his lips moving, but the words just weren’t connecting with my mind. This wasn’t happening.

“Well- what…he’s trying to say is…” I stumbled over my words trying to find anything- to make this conversation end.

“Is that Benji is gay.” He said with a stone cold look on his face- just staring at me. My mouth nearly hit the table. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening. And that’s when the looks started- first from Joel, that unforgettable look of utter disgust. As if the words he’d just heard were like poison. And then from my mother- the one that hurt the most. I’d disappointed my mother.

“Is this some kind of joke!?” She spat to me- as if she were going to simply lunge over the table a scratch my eyes out. Imagine my shock. I couldn’t even manage a response- I was just so blown away.

“Oh yeah- has been for some time. He just thought it best me being here to help him- break the news. Because..well he’s just too scared.” He spoke up again- making me just want to kick him right there under the table. I felt hot tears streaming down my face- and I knew I must have been as red as a tomato.

“Benjamin- I can not believe this…I just…my own son….” She cried no over dramatically standing up- smacking the chair against the wall behind her. “It’s safe to say this dinner is over…come on Joel.” She complained before turning to walk towards the door. I just stood there- tears streaming down my face looking at my own twin, that same look of disgust still plastered all over his face. Suddenly I felt as if I were about an inch tall.

“You sicken me.” He spat viciously before walking out the door as well. My own family. I felt so betrayed- running into my bathroom, sliding down against the door. How could he do this to me?
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Tony Loves Benji