Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

My Heart Breaks	By : dieromantic79 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 2186 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Note: all my other stories are under the penname LondonzBurning, but I kinda forgot the username/password for that account =/ but u should check em out.

Hooray for all the awesome people that reviewed!!!
Ps. I didn’t know that Ville rehabbed and stopped drinking and stuff when I started writing all this buuuut oh well, my story. Good for him tho =)

CH. 6

Bam felt it was bad enough that he had gotten aroused while watching that porno with Ville, and then left in a rush for a painfully obvious reason. But he certainly didn’t need to add to his embarrassment by having Ville find out what was in that notebook. Thankfully, Ville hadn’t mentioned the porn incident or the notebook again. Nonetheless Bam put the notebook back under his mattress and didn’t get it out again for about five days. It was just way too dangerous. Even then, when he took it out it was only at night when he was SURE everyone was asleep. There was only about a week of tour left and Bam was feeling pretty confident he would make it through without anymore incidents. The past couple days had been great; just hanging out with Ville and the band, drinking, joking, and saying really stupid shit that made for great teasing the next day.
But…he still lusted for Ville worse than ever, and he was starting to accept that nothing would ever happen. And this gradual loss of hope didn’t exactly do wonders for his mental health. He was fine during the day, all smiles and laughing. But at night, every once and a while, thoughts of misery and even suicide weaseled their way through his pen and onto that notebook. He had called Ryan only once more, to voice his worry about the growing feeling in his chest he couldn’t describe except as, “something dark.” Ryan just said the sooner the tour ended and he got away from Ville, the better. But as the tour neared its end, Bam grew more and more depressed at the thought of not getting to see Ville anymore. But at the same time, it felt as if he spent another day in such close confines with him, he would implode.
‘No wait…’ Bam thought, ‘…EXplode. Yeah, that would look cooler.’

Ville hadn’t forgotten about that damn notebook. He hadn’t seen Bam writing in it again, but sometimes at night, he could hear the scratching noise Bam’s pen made when he wrote. A million thoughts plagued his mind,
‘What the fuck is he writing?’
‘Why wouldn’t he show me?’
‘What the fuck is he writing?’
‘Is it a story? A song?’
‘What the FUCK is he writing?’

(Ville pov)
Ville had no idea why he was obsessing over it so much. Maybe it was because it was so weird for Bam to be so secretive about something. He was such an open person and he usually told Ville everything. In the past couple of weeks he had even opened up to Ville about how his marriage was going downhill…Ville thought this might be what he was writing about, but still, he had a feeling there was something more. He even noticed that Bam was starting to get depressed. It wasn’t very obvious…but little signs were there. He laughed less, drunk more, and his smile seemed forced. Which Ville thought was a shame.
‘He has such a great smile…always make me want to smile too…’
So Ville formed a plan to get that notebook, figure out what was wrong with Bam, and fix it. Simple. His opportunity came with about a week an a half of tour left. Naturally, people had found out Bam was tagging along on what was arguably the summer’s biggest tour, and some people from Fuse wanted an interview. Bam though it was a waste of time.
“They’re just gonna ask me shit like..uhh whose your favorite band on the tour? And its not like I’m NOT gonna say HIM! C’mon! Duh!!”
Ville shrugged apologetically as Bam huffed off the bus to his interview and Ville practically ran to the back, knowing his time was limited to search for the notebook. Everyone else from the band was getting lunch from the catering before they had to go on in about 2 hours, but he knew Bam would cut the interview as short as possible. Ville paused at Bam’s bunk when he realized he had no idea where the damn thing was. He felt awful for doing it, like he was betraying Bam’s trust, but as he searched through his friend’s duffel bag, he felt oddly justified in his wrongdoing. Cus he just wanted to help after all. However, the notebook was nowhere to be found. Even after scaling the entire bus, Ville couldn’t find it. Completely shocked and frustrated, Ville collapsed onto Bam’s bunk bed. He wiggled around…it was kinda lumpy. Ville’s eyes widened as an idea struck him and he jumped off the bed to pull the mattress back. There it fucking was!!! Ville laughed out loud at the simplicity of it…SO like Bam. He was about to open it when a soft voice came from his left.
“Ville, what are you doing?”
Ville yelped, dropped the notebook and practically had a heart attack simultaneously.
“Linde!” he gasped, “What’re you doing here?”
Linde looked curiously at him. “What are YOU doing? Is that Bam’s?”
“No.”
“It was under his bed!” Linde started to raise his voice, which sounded weird for someone so quiet.
“I-I was just…”
“AAHHH SOMEONE POURED WATER ON MEEE …I’M MELTING!” Bam screamed as he slammed the door to the bus closed.
Ville froze. Linde stared.
“YO VILLE!” Bam called, getting closer.
Ville shoved the notebook back under the bed and quickly fixed the mattress to how it looked before.
“Don’t tell him.” Ville muttered as he passed by Linde to go greet Bam.
“Hey Bammie how’d it go?” Ville asked, but quickly stopped in his approach to Bam when he noticed that he actually was dripping wet.
“Sooo stupid!” said Bam he started tugging his wet shirt off.
“Who umm got you wet?” Ville asked curiously.
Bam shrugged, or attempted to shrug while in the process of pulling his shirt over his head.
“I dunno…some crazy little guitarist guy from another bad. Someone yelled at him..I think his name was Frank.” He said, throwing his shirt at Ville.
Ville caught it, smiling, and couldn’t help but notice Bam looked good dripping wet without a shirt on.
Linde passed through to go watch tv in the front and made brief eye contact with Ville and a small smile. Ville relaxed a bit knowing it was Linde’s silent was of saying he wouldn’t say anything.
As Bam started ranting about the silly things he was asked in the interview, Ville let his mind wander. He had gotten so close, and now wanted the notebook more than ever. Tonight, when everyone was asleep, he would get it.
‘But I can’t fucking get it if Bam is sleeping on it!’ he thought. ‘I’ll just have to make sure he falls asleep somewhere else…maybe pass out in the back after some drinks…’
That was Ville’s plan. It was kind of a shitty plan, but luck happened to be on his side that night. Right before he, Bam, and the band left to go to the main stage and get ready, Bam changed his mind and said he was going to check his email and catch up with them. Ville spent most of the set worrying about how he was going to make sure Bam got dunk enough to pass out somewhere that was not his bed that night. Once they finished up, however, Ville noticed Bam was nowhere to be found. Ville asked around but none of the stage techs had noticed him show up. Once he got back on the bus, Ville dodged his band mates and searched for his friend. Bam was found in the back room, laptop still on, his head drooped between his knees, and a bottle of beer in his hands and a couple more on the floor.
‘Looks like my work is half done…’ Ville thought as he approached slowly.
“Bam, whats up?” Ville asked.
“Hmpf,” he answered, still looking down through his legs.
“Whats wrong?” Ville asked again, now moving to sit by Bam. Ville placed his hand on Bam’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting way, but Bam only tensed further.
“Bam?”
Bam finally raised his head and answered, “I’m getting a divorce.”
“W-What?”
“She wants a divorce. We’re getting one.” He answered sadly, but with finality.
“What happened? How do you know for sure...”
Bam nodded at the laptop. “Said so…emailed me.”
“She EMAILED you that she wanted a divorce? She couldn’t wait till you got home!?!?” Ville gasped.
“Guess not. I’m not surprised, she kinda hates me.”
“Oh…God, Bam I’m so sorry…” Ville said, slowly wrapping his arm around Bam’s shoulder. Bam didn’t tense this time, just took a long drink from his beer.
“S’ok…don’t really care.” He answered.
‘Obviously you do!’ Ville thought, rolling his eyes.
“Well, hey forget about that, now you can try again, have a fresh start, ya know?” Ville said, rubbing circles on Bam’s back to try and console him.
Mind loosened from the alcohol, Bam leaned into the touch. After a minute of silence, Bam finally spoke.
“I…I like you Ville.” Bam said staring off into space.
Ville smiled and laughed a bit, thinking Bam to be pretty drunk. “You like me huh? Ok, I like you too BamBam.”
Bam smiled slowly, but then quickly frowned and shook his head. Ok, maybe he WAS pretty drunk.
“No…” Bam sighed quietly and closed his eyes, half leaning on the couch, half on Ville.
“No to what, sweetheart?” Ville asked. But Bam just smiled and shook his head again.
“I’m going to sleep, I’m outta it.” He mumbled and turned over. Ville stayed with him a couple more minutes and played with his hair absentmindedly. He felt close to Bam, and didn’t understand how anyone could get angry at those bright blue eyes. After about ten minutes, Ville was sure Bam wasn’t going to get up. The bus was already rolling along to its next stop when Ville peeked into the front of the bus. He made sure he knew where everyone was before taking action. Linde was asleep, Burton and Mige were playing chess, and Gas was watching tv. Good. Ville crouched down by Bam’s bed, and with a couple more looks over his shoulder, slid his hand under the mattress and pulled out the battered old notebook. Holding it close to his chest, as though it would run away, Ville opened the door to the small bathroom and locked it immediately. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Ville took a deep breath at what he had just done and what he was about to do. With another slow breath, he opened the notebook.

--------------
hehe im excited for the next chapter...
~review!~
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

My Heart Breaks