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Freak	By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3953 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
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Mikey’s POV.

It took me ten minutes to locate the popcorn, and Frank was laughing the whole time as I looked through the cupboards. Finally I’d had enough and turned to him with an angry look on my face.

“There.” He panted out between laughs and pointed towards the counter. When I saw that the popcorn had been on the counter the whole time I smiled sheepishly at him as he continued to laugh.

“How about you stop laughing and get some of the chocolate out of that cupboard.” I said and pointed towards the corner one.

“Yes sir.” He saluted me and started towards the cabinets. I rolled my eyes at his silly move and put the popcorn in the microwave. I was glad it was micro popcorn, or I knew I would’ve burned them.

“What movie did you pick Gee?” Frank asked as we made our way into the living room with our arms filled with drinks, popcorn, chips and chocolate. Gerard didn’t answer at first, he was simply sitting there on the couch, looking troubled.

“Gee?” I asked again as I put the things in my arms down on the table. Again no answer, so I sat down next to him.

“Gerard?” I tried again, this time louder, trying to force some sort of reaction from him.

“Mikey, I don’t want to be unique.” He whispered as a stray tear rolled down his cheek.

Narrator’s POV.

In all of Gerard’s life, he had had but one dream. To be normal. To be boring, to be just like everyone else. His family told him all the time that he was unique, and that it was a good thing. But Gerard wasn’t stupid, he knew how to use the family computer and he had many times read about his condition.

It scared him, all the things that page said. To Gerard, very few of the things did actually fit in with his behaviour, but he knew he was just trying to deny facts. All his life had Gerard been teased for being retarded, and so he just couldn’t help but believe it. Gerard no longer thought he was just a little bit autistic, he knew he was retarded.

He knew that he was doomed to for the rest of his life be dependent on his brother. Of course it was only on his good days that he knew these things, on his bad days Gerard didn’t know anything except for the fact he was having a really bad day.

Most days Gerard hated himself, his looks, his disease and his behaviour. He hated the way he was dependent on his brother, and he hated the way his mother looked at him with tired eyes as he did something wrong. Gerard tried almost every day to not anger his family, or to disappoint them, but it was so hard.

Sometimes he just couldn’t control his anger, he just had to grab things and throw them. And sometimes he just couldn’t help but scream or cry. It was like he for a minute stopped thinking at all, and just snapped. He hated it, he hated how he was ruining his brother’s life. He knew that Mikey could never date, could never make new friends, and could never have a life on his own.

Those were the thoughts that sometimes pushed Gerard dangerously close to wanting to hurt himself on purpose. That’s why when he fell down the stairs and broke his arm and two ribs he didn’t make a sound. He hoped that if he just lay there without saying anything he might die.

Of course he didn’t and that made him even more angry. To Gerard, he would never be anything but a freak, and he would never have a purpose in life, except for ruining the days for his family.

Mikey’s POV.

“But Gerard, it’s really good to be unique.” I said and put a hand on my brother’s shoulder. He shook it off and stood up.

“No, it’s not Mikey, I want to be just like everyone else.” Gerard shouted and put his hands over his ears to block my words out. He did that when he didn’t want to listen, when he didn’t want to hear you.

I looked over at Frank, who had put down his things on the living room table as well, and was now standing at the end of the couch looking rather scared. I turned back to my brother who had started rocking back and forth.

“Gerard, I don’t know what you want me to say.” I said honestly and he lowered his hands to his sides at my words. His hands formed fists and he was shaking with… anger? I didn’t really know.

“I don’t want to be a freak.” He said, his voice shaking.

“I’m a freak.” Frank piped up suddenly, and I shot him an angry glare. What was he thinking? He wasn’t helping!

Gerard stopped shaking for a moment and just stared at Frank in surprise. No one had ever said anything like it before, and it shocked him. A silence spread through the room, and all I could do was to look from Frank to Gerard, and back again. Soon the silence started getting on my nerves, but I had no idea what to say.

Frank’s POV.

I knew maybe it had been a mistake to tell Gerard what I really thought about myself, but I could somehow understand what he was feeling. I hated the silence that followed though, a not so comfortable silence.

“No, you’re normal.” Gerard finally said and pointed at me. I shook my head slowly and bit my lower lip.

“Sorry to disappoint you Gee, but I’m really not.” It was the first time I had called him Gee, but it felt like a good thing to do in a situation like that. Or not, I didn’t mean to say it, it just slipped out.

“I’m sick.” Gerard said and tears started building up in his eyes again.
“Yes,” I agreed with him, and I saw Mikey glaring at me. “But that’s not your fault, and there’s not much you can do about it, except accept it.” I finished.

I thought my words were making sense, but Mikey was still glaring my way. I pretended not to notice though, and kept my focus on Gerard, who was now crying again.

“I don’t want to be sick.” He cried, and put his arms around himself. I took a few steps towards him slowly, not sure if it was a good idea or not. I knew Mikey was still glaring at me, and for a short moment I wondered if he would stop me as I advanced on his brother, but when he didn’t I kept on walking.

“And I don’t want to be a freak who has no friends, a mother that hates him, and that feels that he has to do drugs for people to be able to like him.” I said, letting more and more personal information slip out. I didn’t mean to say those things, but I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to make Gerard stop crying.

It was like I had even forgotten that Mikey was in the room, that he could hear my confession.

“I like you, you don’t have to do drugs.” Gerard whispered as I took another slow step towards him. Finally I had reached him and I put a hand on his shoulder, to make him look at me. Finally he did and I smiled at him. At first he just stared at me, but soon he smiled back.

“And I like you Gerard, and I don’t care that you’re sick.”

Narrator’s POV.

Frank had never been that honest before in one go, and it was frightening for him. It was true, he liked Gerard, he felt that in him he had a very special friend. And Gerard liked Frank back, he was the only of Mikey’s friends he really trusted. Mostly because he’d overheard some of Mikey’s other friends calling him a retard behind his back.

To Gerard, the situation they were in were almost too much to handle, as thoughts zoomed through his mind at an incredible speed. Never before had someone said anything like it to him, and it made him happy and angry at the same time.

One part of him said; I like this boy, he’s my friend, I can trust him.
Another part (and sadly the bigger) said; he’s wrong, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and he’s lying!

But for once, Gerard chose to listen to the weaker voice, he chose to trust Frank.

Frank’s POV.

“You’re my friend.” Gerard said and his smile grew a bit wider as his tears stopped.
“And you’re my friend.” I said and finally I let my arms embrace him in a hug. He hugged me back, and it felt good. It felt unique. It felt like I was hugging a boy, that could very well be a friend for life.

“I can’t believe you picked Chicken Run for us to see.” Mikey groaned as the movie started up, but I just giggled.

“I like this movie, it’s great.” I said and ruffled Gerard’s hair.

Gerard had taken a seat on the floor in front of me, and was leaning his back against my knees. My hands were tangled in Gerard’s hair, as the movie started. Mikey was sitting at the opposite end of the couch, looking irritated.

“I like it too.” Gerard said and turned around to grin up at me.

All in all, it was a good night, though I was a bit afraid knowing I’d have to talk to Mikey about my confessions later.

Oh well, I thought as my fingers ran though Gerard’s silky hair, that’s not until later. Right then and there, I wanted to concentrate on the movie, and the way Gerard‘s hair felt when I ran my fingers through it.
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Freak