Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Blurry Days	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2083 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Fuck, I never noticed I had SO MUCH junk at my apartment! There literary were bags and bags of trash stacked in the hallway, waiting to be thrown away. Did I really live in all this mess?

I guess I never even noticed how the stacks of magazines and newspapers started to grow, how the boxes from fast food restaurants started to pile up in the kitchen and in the living room, how everything got covered in a thick layer of dust and the floor has lost their color and became just dark grey and ugly from dirt.

I managed to clean everything up only in three days.

Gosh, I’m exhausted.

But at least I have to take these bags out and I’ll be done. The flat looks like new now. Everything’s so tidy and clean. It’s even nice to look at now.

The kitchen is quite big. I’ve got a lot of junk to cook meals in, so no problem there. My bathroom is also spacious, because I like it that way and when I bought the flat, it happened to have the western style bathroom with the bathtub and a shower cabin. So it’s also perfect. My bedroom is quite small, but I’ve got a huge bed in it. I think I could easily fit three people in it if I wanted to. There’s also a huge cupboard where some space is still left. I never managed to stuff it full with clothes.

My living-room is spacious as hell. There’s everything one needs: from pouffes to huge flat-screen TV. I should perhaps redecorate a bit, but it’s quite simple and safe as it is now. Also, I’ve got a study. I keep there my personal music equipment, guitars, music sheets and stuff like that. Hmm… So it should be closed and inaccessible. And finally I have one additional room which I jokingly call the guest-room. Though I’ve almost never had an opportunity to use it. It basically has a bed, a cupboard and a table. It’s a smallish room and once I’ve considered of turning it into my mini-gym, but never had the time to really think about it.

So yeah, I think the flat is big enough and safe enough. I really think me and Kyo would be more than comfortable living here together.

God… I hope it turns out well…

This idea is perfect. Why didn’t I think of it sooner? I could have saved Kyo from that horrid place much earlier!

I just need to convince his parents to place Kyo at my disposal. Legally. So that I would be the only one who has a right to look after him all the time.

Sounds too good to be true…

But it’s all I can think of. It makes me so happy even to think that such a possibility exists. Theoretically I could bring Kyo home with me and take care of him. Theoretically.

Somehow I think that his parents wouldn’t want to let me have Kyo, considering that I’m a man and that I’m not blood related to Kyo. Sadistic shits! Even if I love Kyo, I would never use him, even if he wasn’t in a state like he is now!

He was used enough already…

Shit, I’m back on this again… but… but he was raped… he was violated so many times…

I hate to even think about it. Even if I know it’s true, I can’t believe it. I just can’t. It’s too cruel, too inhuman, too horrible…

Kyo, I hope your parents will not care of where you are and who’s taking care of you. I want you here with me. All the time. So that I would always be by your side and you would then at least have a chance at recovering.

I really do believe that that’s all you need. You’ll be back, Kyo. You will. I know you will.

***

When Kaoru sat down at the same table with Kyo’s sister, his courage left him. Suddenly he felt very unsure. Not of himself, of course. He wanted Kyo to live with him, he wanted to take care of him as long as he could. But what would his sister think?

Surely she must have already thought of why Kaoru was constantly visiting Kyo. Surely she must have suspected already of Kaoru’s true feelings for her brother.

The question was, would she think that Kaoru had some other intentions aside from the ones of helping Kyo to recover?

They ordered their meals and she looked curiously at Kaoru, though she didn’t say anything. She patiently waited for him to say the reason of this meeting.

“Umm… I’m really having a hard time deciding where to start” Kaoru said and she smiled a bit.

“It must be about Tooru of course, so that’s already a start. Just tell me what’s wrong, please.”

“Nothing’s wrong. Well, nothing that you wouldn’t already know about. Could I first ask you about what you think on Kyo’s resettlement in that mental institution?”

She pursed her lips for a second then relaxed and slowly nodded.

“I don’t really like the place, but so I don’t like other clinics or hospitals or any institutions as this one. It would be best if our parents would take him home, but unfortunately it’s impossible… And here Kyo is being taken care of. He’s never hungry, he’s warm and safe… Where else could he be more comfortable than there? It’s not the best place in the world, but at least now we know where he is and that he is safe…”

“But do you know that Kyo just sits in one spot throughout the day barely doing anything at all?”

She nodded, but the look in her eyes was far from a happy one.

“Kaoru-san, it’s not doctor’s fault Kyo’s like this.”

“Of course I know that! But I’m just saying that instead of taking him for a walk or trying to cheer him up, they just leave him rot in his chair!”

“Please, Kaoru-san, just stop it right here…”

She lowered her head and brushed a tear off her cheek.

“Why are you speaking about all of this?” she asked silently. “I can’t take care of him, I’m barely at home during the entire week…”

“But I can!”

She lifted her eyes and looked at Kaoru, clearly puzzled.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m doing nothing at all. I have all the time in the world. I can take care of Kyo and I want to take care of him! I want him to be moved in with me.”

She looked quite shocked at hearing this and just stared at Kaoru.

“Please, believe me, I have no hidden motives under this. I want to take care of Kyo, I want to help him to get better. I can’t stand seeing him in that place! He’s going to die there if we leave him! And I can’t let that happen! I…”

He stopped in time, but Kyo’s sister straightened in her chair and looked straight in his eyes.

“Please, finish your sentence.”

“I love him too much to let him rot in that madhouse…”

Silence fell between them and for some time they just gazed at each other, Kyo’s sister judging, Kaoru trying to keep his ground.

“When you say ‘love’, what kind of love you have in mind?” she asked silently.

“Love as a friend and love as a… as a lover.”

“Was Tooru… were you two l-lovers?”

Kaoru slowly shook his head.

“I had feelings for him for a long time, but never dared to say anything to him. And when he disappeared… I couldn’t go on with my life not knowing where he was and what happened to him… I understood that my simple feelings of affection have turned to something much bigger and I never even noticed.”

Kaoru looked her in the eyes and smiled sadly.

“I love your brother with all my heart and it’s killing me to see him suffer, to see him like he is now…”

“But you would need to be with him all the time… Tooru is helpless, he doesn’t do anything on his own…”

“I know all that. Believe me, I know, but I don’t care! I can take care of him and it’s all I want. It’s what would make me finally feel as close to happy as possible in this situation. I just can’t watch him slowly slip away from me. He’s already dead inside, and in the way he’s living now, his body would sooner or later give in. I can’t let that happen! If only he knew what was happening with him now, he’d be devastated!”

“But Kaoru-san… you know that there’s a very high chance that he’d never be as he was, that he’d never regain even the slightest grain of recognition of his surroundings… Are you telling me you would be looking after him for the rest of your life?”

Kaoru inhaled deeply and tried to calm down.

Of course he thought about this possibility, even though he hated it. But he knew it was possible. He was not dense.

“Yes, of course I know that. But… I just don’t care… All I want is for him to be by my side, so that I’d know that he’s safe and sound… And if he would be like this for the rest of his life… I would still never abandon him… never…”

They sat in silence for some time, both deep in their thoughts. Finally, she sighted and rubbed her temples with her fingers.

“And why are you telling me all of this?”

“Who else should I turn to? Your parents would definitely refuse my request. But with your help I might get the rights to be his guardian.”

“You really want this?”

“Like nothing else in the world.”

She sighted and to Kaoru's surprise took out a pack of cigarettes from her bag.

"Everyone picks up this habit in university" she shrugged her shoulders, seeing Kaoru's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"So? What do you think?" Kaoru asked, as she started smoking still keeping silent.

"I need to think about it. Even though you seem not to leave Kyo's side all the time since he was found, your request is still like out of the blue."

Kaoru nodded.

"I understand. But please know that I have made up my mind, I'm really sure of what I want."

"When did you think of it?"

"This week..." Kaoru said, knowing that now he really sounded too impulsive.

"Isn't it a bit too rash?" she asked, but Kaoru lowered his eyes not answering. He couldn't really explain her how he felt about this idea. He knew that he was sure of himself, that it was all he wanted. But to put his feelings into clear words was much harder.

"Please, give it some time for yourself to think more about it, Kaoru-san. Think this over, putting the feelings aside. Think this through very carefully. When I'll decide, I’ll call you myself, ok? But you also need to think about it. I need to be sure that you would really stick up to your words."

Kaoru nodded. What else could he do? He already knew what he will say later, he could say the same now. But he understood Kyo's sister as well, so he'll give her time to think about it.

"I'll be going now" she said and stubbed the cigarette. She was reaching for her wallet, but Kaoru took the bill and smiled to her.

"My treat, please."

She smiled and nodded slightly.

"Goodbye, Kaoru-san. See you later."

"Goodbye."

Kaoru finished his drink and paid for the bill. With heavy heart he left the café to wonder around the streets until he could go back to Kyo.

He really believed Kyo's sister would be more willing to help. But if she would refuse, all hope was gone. She was his only chance. And he prayed that she liked him enough to trust him with her brother's life.

TBC
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Blurry Days