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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)	By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings.

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STEFAN.

Stef reached over Brian’s warm, now very relaxed, body to grab some tissues to clean up the mess the smaller boy had made all over them. He did so in silence, not sure what to say. His mind racing with thoughts of ‘what if he’s just being kind and I really wasn’t very good? It didn’t last long, sure he came first, but only because I made him, oh God he hates me…’

“You’re doing it again.” Brian said, turning his body over on its side.

“What?”

“Thinking too much,” he smiled. “What’s wrong?”

Stefan sighed, not wanting to be ‘that guy’. The one who worries about everything, who couldn’t just relax and enjoy himself. “Nothing. I’m just not happy unless I’m worrying about something.”

“You don’t need to worry. The world didn’t stop turning, or anything.” Brian giggled.

Stef smiled, leaning back on the bed. “It felt like it did for a moment there.”

“You’re sweet,” Brian got up and started searching for his clothes which had been strewn around the room. “I’m not used to sweet.”

“Does this… change anything with us?”

“Why would it?”

Stefan shrugged. Causal, one-off sex wasn’t something he’d given a great deal of thought to before now.

“Oh, I see.” Brian said, grinning. He’d put his underwear and singlet back on, but remained pantless. He walked back to the bed, where Stef sat, still naked. “What you really mean is, ‘will it happen again?’ Don’t you?”

“No! I just want to make sure we’re still… good. We can still work together is all.”

“Oh so you don’t want it to happen again?”

“I, um-“ Stef started.

Brian laughed. “It’s ok. Yes, we’ll be fine. Besides, now I have something to write about.”

Stef gawked at him, blindly searching for his own clothes. “You wouldn’t…”

“Of course not. Well, I won’t out you at least.” Brian had started fixing up his make-up again. The sweat had caused his eyeliner to smudge, his cherry lipgloss smeared around his mouth (and Stef’s cock, now that he looked closely).

BRIAN.

Brian looked over at the bed. Worry was not an attractive emotion for Stef, but he looked so at peace, sitting half naked on his bed, a small ray of light hitting his perfect shoulders through the window. “You should probably get going,” he said. “your parents will worry about you if you’re too late. I don’t want to be responsible for being TOO much of a bad influence.”

“Yeah right,” Stef chuckled, doing the buttons on his school shirt back up. “like you have any control over me.”

Swiftly walking over to him, Brian stuck his hands down Stefan’s pants, grabbing him firmly, causing Stef’s body to stiffen at the sudden intrusion. “Your cock would beg to differ.” The small boy said, a smirk breaking out across his face.

***

STEFAN.

Stef felt so refreshed as he walked home. Sure, they hadn’t done any work on their music assignment, but what they had done... oh it was worth it. Stefan wasn’t an impulsive person, he’d had trouble believing it had even happened, except that he couldn’t get the image of Brian riding him out of his mind. His beautiful, delicate body so close to his, touching him in all the right places.

Opening the door to his house, Stef was greeted with an angry growl. “Where have you been, mister?” his dad asked.

“At a friend’s house.” Stefan replied, closing the door.

“It’s a school night!” Mr. Olsdal yelled at him. “What were you doing?”

Stef couldn’t help but smile, still on a high from the afternoon’s frivolities. “Homework.”

“I don’t believe that for a second, get that smirk off your face, don’t you lie to me boy! Which friend?”

“A new guy at school, nobody you know.” Stef assured him, heading off to his room. ‘Someone I hardly know.’ He thought to himself.

***

BRIAN.

Walking through the school gates the next morning, Brian was actually excited to be there. He didn’t have music class that day, but at least today he wouldn’t be alone. Stef would be there. He saw him standing with a group of other boys from their homeclass at the back of the room. “Hey, Stef.” He smiled, walking over to them. Dirty looks from the other boys greeted him and Stef looked uneasy.

“Oh, hey Brian.” He muttered, not making eye contact.

Brian was confused. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, you’re what’s wrong, weirdo!” one of the boys, whose name Brian didn’t know, spat at him.

“Actually, I wasn’t talking to you. Stef, are you ok?”

“We were all ok before you arrived,” another boy said. “now piss off.”

Reluctantly, Brian walked away, taking a seat at the back. What was wrong with Stef? He’d spent so much time yesterday convincing him to chill the fuck out, and for what? Was he still uptight about what had gone on? At the bell Brian tried approaching his friend again, while he had the chance to talk to him alone.

“What the fuck?” he asked, shoving Stef into a locker. Nobody noticed, what with dozens of students spilling to the corridor at once.

“I’m sorry,” Stef started, genuinely apologetic. “It’s just… complicated.”

“What’s fucking complicated? You won’t talk to me at school?” Brian asked.

“Well in music, yeah but outside that it’s different. My friends…”

“Are arseholes! You’re not like them.”

“I’d rather be with a bunch of arseholes than be alone.” Stef replied in a harsh whisper.

“But you don’t have to be, why can’t we hang out? Is it because of-“

“No,” Stefan cut him off. “nothing to do with what happened yesterday. It’s just, I can’t be friends with you AND them. Not at school.”

“Why, because I’m weird or because you’ve got your head so far up your arse you can’t bring yourself to be your own person?”

“That’s unfair, Brian.”

“Fuck you.” Brian stormed off, pushing students aside as he walked to class. How dare Stef treat him like that. It was like some dirty affair, sneaking around.

STEFAN.

Stef felt terrible. He didn’t want to blow Brian off (‘actually’, he thought. ‘that’s exactly what I’d like to do') but it was how the school hierarchy worked. He’d spent four years building himself up to the top, he wasn’t going to take a fall now just because he’d fucked the new kid. It was unfair of Brian to expect him to do so… wasn’t it?

***

The day couldn’t go fast enough, but eventually after enduring maths and chemistry, lunch time came. Stef joined his group in their spot on the school oval. Brian was right, they were arseholes, but that was life and he didn’t want to be an outcast, not like-

“Hey!” one of Stef’s friends, Craig, yelled out. “It’s that creepy new kid."

He was right. Brian had picked up where he’d left off on his first day, walking the oval alone, apple in hand.

“What a weirdo,” Matt agreed. “why was he talking to you in class hey Stef? Maybe the faggot fancies you?”

Everybody roared with laughter, Stefan made his best effort to join in. “Na, we’re partners for a music project, that’s all.”

“Wow you sure drew the short straw on that one.” Craig said sympathetically.

“Actually, he’s quite good.” Brian was now gone from their sight, no doubt gone back to the main building. “He’s got a good voice.”

Ryan shrugged. “He’s gotta be good at something, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Matt said. “like sucking cock.”

Stef rolled his eyes as his friends started pissing themselves with laughter again, for a minute questioning why he’d really rather hang out with them than Brian.

“You’re quiet, Stef. I’d have thought you’d be keen on getting at that new kid. Especially as he seems to have a total hard on for you.” Matt grinned.

Stef knew he couldn’t keep standing there in silence, he had to say something. “Well look at me,” he joked. “who could resist such a perfect specimen such as myself?"

“Yeah, you’re a faggot magnet!”

“Fuck you guys, I can’t help it if freaks are drawn to me.” Stefan hated making fun of Brian, or anybody for that matter, but he was quite impressed at how convincing his performance was, until…

“Hey Stef,” Brian said quietly, stepping out from a tree a few metres away from the group.

Oh shit.

“I know I’m a freak and quite obviously have a ‘hard-on’ for you, but I was wondering if you wanted to work on our assignment after school.” He said, half mockingly.

‘Oh god, he’d been there that long, what do I do?’ Was all that Stef could think. He had to make this right, without seeming like a pussy in front of the others. “Oh, I didn’t mean that Bri,” ‘hang on, did he mean actually work on their assignment or “work” on their “assignment” like they had yesterday? No Stef, now is not the time to be thinking like that…’ “but I don’t know if I’m free this arvo.” He replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Why?” Brian asked calmly. “You don’t want me to suck your cock again? I thought you liked it.” Brian glared at him, raising an eyebrow.

Stef and his friends were speechless. Had this new boy really just said…

Stefan did his best fake laugh. “Uh Brian, they don’t know you’re kidding…” he said, gesturing to the others.

“Oh but I’m not, Stefan.” Brian said, taking a few steps towards the group. “And as I recall, you couldn’t get enough. I had to stop before-“

“Shut up!” Stef yelled at him. This couldn’t be happening. “Stop saying that stuff about me, you don’t fucking know me. And I’m not a fucking fag.” Stefan hated himself at that moment, seeing the look of hurt in Brian’s eyes. He was trying to hide it, but it was there.

The other boys cheered, Matt and Craig got up to stand next to Stefan. “Yeah, like anyone could believe that this guy would let a dude blow him. He’s a man’s man!”

Brian smiled. “More than you know.”

“Hey,” Craig warned. “you better shut the fuck up. Stop saying shit about him ok?”

“Why? Can’t handle the truth?” Brian teased.

‘Oh no.’ Stef thought. As much as he wanted Brian to stop talking, he knew this was going to end badly if he didn’t stop quickly. “Look, let’s just forget this ever happened, Brian would you please leave now?” Stef asked, almost pleading. He looked Brian right in the eyes, seeing the hatred build up. ‘Oh God, Stef, you’re such a fucking hypocrite.’

“Fine, see you later, fag.” Brian spat, about to turn, when SMACK!

BRIAN.

Brian fell to the ground, one of the boys who had, just a second ago, been sitting down had gotten up and punched him right in the jaw, in almost the same place his father had struck him the day before. Trying to get up, Brian felt a heavy foot on his chest, holding him down.

“Not so quickly, queer.” Matt sneered. He lifted his foot, only to kick it up into Brian’s nose, causing it to bleed profusely.

“What are you doing!?” Stef yelled. “Stop it!”

Brian felt dizzy, lifting his hands to his face to feel the blood now dripping down to his mouth, all he could see was a blur.

“Yeah, one sec Stef,” Matt said, giving Brian one last kick in the head.

The last thing he saw before blacking out was Stef, looking down at him wide-eyed, calling his name.
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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)