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Code Blue	By : HobNobsAndTea Category: Individual Celebrities > Tom Hiddleston Views: 2055 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Neither I, nor any of the writers know Tom Hiddleston, his PR people, nor have we ever met him. We do not make any profit from this story other then the enjoyment of writting it. All characters and events are entirely fictional.

Chapter List
- 5
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- 7
                You must have blacked out at some point, because the next thing you knew you were in your room lying in your bed in your pajamas. You touched your face finding it was clean, and your hair was wet. Apparently you had taken a shower and changed for bed before getting into it. That wasn’t a good sign. Blackouts like that had happened to you before, it was what resulted in your being the guest in a mental facility for more than a month.
                You raise your head seeing that you weren’t alone. Tom was sitting in your chair in the corner quietly watching you. You close your eyes and sigh dropping your head back to the pillow feeling exhausted and sore all over. “You really are a diehard masochist aren’t you.” You say in an exhausted voice.
                “I couldn’t leave you here alone. You were acting strangely, like you weren’t even aware of yourself let alone me.” He says in a soft voice. “Your body was going through the motions but you weren’t here. I was concerned.
                You point behind you towards the dresser, “Second drawer, near the back, bottle with the purple lid.” You say your eyes still closed and your head buried in the pillows. Tom instantly hopped up and went and retrieved the bottle bringing it to you sitting on the bed next to you. With a groan you sit up taking the bottle and open it taking out two small green pills.
                “What is that?” He questioned.
                You pop them in your mouth and reach for the bottle of water swallowing them before putting the bottle back down. “That is going to make me sleep for 12 hours and wake up normal again.” He looks at you a moment before looking at the bottle. You settle back down into the pillows. “Basically a reset button for my fucked up head.”
                “I thought you said that you didn’t take any of the medications they gave you.” He said softly putting the bottle back down.
                “Not the ones that they make you take all day every day. Those are for attacks like that emotional, blubbery, snot bubble mess you stood witness to.” You close your eyes pulling one of the pillows over your head. “Happens every great once in a while.”
                Tom sighs and shakes his head. “I caused this one, it’s my fault.” He says his voice drenched with guilt.
                You weren’t even looking at him; you could feel his hung puppy dog look. Taking a breath you pull the pillow off your head and turn over looking at him. You look into his eyes for a moment, “Tom. I’m sorry.” You apologize through tired eyes. “You are a hopeless romantic. Or a hopeful romantic. One of the two. I on the other hand am a pessimistic cynic that has had every ounce of romance sucked out of her very soul. Once it’s gone, you can never get it back. You just can’t. Like losing your virginity. Once it’s gone it’s gone forever.”
                “But it doesn’t have to be like that . . . . .” He begins but you hold up your hand to stop him.
                “Hush.” You hold your finger next to your lips, “Got about five minutes before I’m unconscious, so let me talk please.” He quiets. “I told you when we started seeing each other that I couldn’t give you children. I know how much you want them, and I knew that after a while you’d want children of your own again. I don’t blame you for that, I can’t tell you how much I wanted to be a mom. But honey,” You reach over wrapping your hand around his holding it tight, “I cannot give them to you. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” His eyes were starting to tear and you reach up resting your hand on his arm. “Tom, you could walk out into a sea of your fan girls with a blindfold, turn around three times, grab one and I have no doubt in my mind that she will be eager and willing to give you as many kids as you can manage.”
                “Except they aren’t you.” Tom says taking your hands in his.
                You could feel the medication starting to kick in and knew you only had a minute or two before you’d be asleep. “I’m leaving for my new job the day after tomorrow. You have a movie, or a TV show, or something coming up that you have to fly too. You are going to be kept so busy you aren’t even going to wonder about me. I think this time away from each other will show you that.” Your eyes close as you yawn. “You’ll see.” Within a few seconds you’re out cold.
                The tears escape Tom’s eyes as he looks at you, a knot in his throat wishing that he could have spoken to you some more. Made you understand that he didn’t just want a broodmare. You meant more to him than that. He shakes his head and leans down kissing you softly before pulling the cover up over you and turning the light by your bed off to let you rest.
                Tom could have left. He could have locked up and drove home. Instead, he chooses to take a shower. Running the water as hot as it would go, he let's it pound against his head and neck then run down his back. Memories of that first morning shower you took tug at him.
                You fought so hard against him, against loving him. And he fought so hard to get you to see him, to see he cared. He wasn't a quitter.
                Long after he was clean, he stood under the spray. Every moment you'd spent together. He finally steps out after the water grows cold.
                He pulls on a pair of sweats that he'd left there. He wants nothing more than to curl his body around yours. But in your medicated sleep, would you know he was there? Would you feel him? He cared deeply for you. But maybe you were right. He stretched out on your couch, pulling the quilt off the back. He wanted to be here in the morning when you woke. You had a lot to talk about.
                Tom woke up before you, but given the amount of sedative you'd given yourself, it wasn't surprising. You were curled up facing the empty side of the bed and he climbed in with you. He reached out to stroke your hair. You were so peaceful in your sleep. And he didn't get much of his own last night. He turned over everything in his brain- how he felt about you, what you had told him about having children, how he felt about wanting little ones of his own. But he kept coming back to the same conclusion. No matter how Tom started, the ending was always the same in his mind.
                He ran a hand through your wild morning hair and smiled. Even in your current state, you looked incredible to him. You stirred awake slowly, stretching out and moaning. He smiled as you cracked your eyes open. "I'm starting to think you're a bad penny," you joked, your voice still crackly from sleep. He chuckled and ran his hand across your back. You closed your eyes again at the sensation. No matter how hard you tried, the feel of his skin always gave you good chills.
                "You stayed with me?" "Of course. I wanted to be here with you on your last day," Tom answered. You nodded slowly. "Thank you. for taking care of me last night. I know it was probably awful, and I'm sorry," you apologize. You felt terrible about the whole evening. He smiled and shook his head at you. "My darling girl, when will you understand? I would never leave you like that, ever." His own voice was deep and sleepy. You reached out to stroke his face with your fingertips. It was very clear to you, even before you were really awake, that he had something to tell you. You could see it in his eyes.
                "I wish I had met you before Michael. Really."
                Tom was still looking for the words to tell you what he figured out in the wee hours of the morning. And finally it came to him as he lay there with you.
                "I've been up almost the entire night thinking. About you, and me...us. About what you've said about having children and wanting them, and wanting them myself. And about how I've felt the last couple months. About how *you've* made me feel," Tom confessed slowly. "'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.'"
                You looked at him with a little confusion. "Sweetheart, what are you talking about? Why are you quoting Shakespeare to me?" It was evident your early morning brain lag was in full gear. But he continued, and what he said wrenched your heart more than anything you'd ever heard. "Darling, I don't care if you are able to give me twenty children or none, I love you. And I will do whatever I have to do, for as long as I have to do it, to be with you. I know you still dream about it. And we'll figure out what to do when the time comes. A surrogate, adoption, whatever it takes. I'll do anything it takes to make your dream come true."
                The tears stung your eyes. Tom began to cry as well, his eyes filling slowly before overflowing. He continued, 'I've gone over it a million times in my head, and in all the scenarios and all the possibilities, nothing was as incredible and worthwhile as being with you." You laughed a moment before saying, "You really are a masochist, aren't you?"
                "Maybe. But I want to be your masochist. And so I'm not going anywhere." He stroked your hair, tucking it behind your ear. You got sad suddenly, remembering what tomorrow held for you. "I am, though. I have to." He stilled. Looking more than a little pained. "So, you are going, then?"
                "I have to. If I don't, it'll be another thing in my life I've run away from. I can't keep doing that, Tom, you know that." He lowered his eyes from yours. The little ball of anxiety in his stomach reappeared, but you reached out and cupped his cheek. He pulled his eyes back to you, and you reminded him, "We still have today." "Can we make it worth a year?" he asked. "We can try, darling. What did you have in mind?"
                You smile a little bit, “You’re going to think it’s really really dumb.”
                He shakes his head, “No, I won’t. Anything you want darling, anything in the world.”
                That afternoon the two of you sit on the edge of a riverbank having cast lines into the water. Every once in a while Tom looks over you at you and smiles shaking his head slightly. “What?” You question.
                “Never would have thought this was on your list of things you actually like to do. Never.” He says with a grin.
                “Are you kidding? One of my favorite past times.” You motion around you, “We are completely alone and cut off from civilization, it’s a beautiful day, we’ve got a picnic lunch, and we’re fishing. Perfect.” You reel in your line before casting it out in the water again returning it to the holder. “The one thing I like better is deep sea fishing. Except for this one time I went that was like a day after this huge storm. I have never vomited so hard or so many times in my life.”
                “With Michael?” He asks.
                “No. With my brother.” You say leaning back crossing your ankles as you lay back on your elbows stretching out in the sun a little.
                “You have a brother?” He says surprised as you had never mentioned him before.
                “Yes. He lives in the US with his wife. I haven’t seen him in quite a while. After he got married, and I got married . . . we sort of drifted apart. Michael and I moved away first, because of our jobs. Then he and his wife moved because they wanted to be closer to her family. Then we just . . . kind of lost touch. It was strange because we were the best friends in the world growing up. We both married very strange and different people. Very self centered people. It’s hard to reach one another when other people are pulling you away.” You say softly not having talked to your brother in almost two years.
                “I’m sorry.” He says seeing the look in your eyes.
                You half laugh and shake your head, “Good God, every time I open my mouth I’ve got another sob story just leaping out.” You look over to him, “I am your polar opposite Tom. You are pure sunshine and light, and I’m darkness and rain. Don’t you ever get tired of my mere presence just sucking the joy out of everything around me?”
                Tom made sure his rod was secure in the holder before moving closer to you on the blanket resting his hand on your abdomen. “No. I don’t see you that way. Weather you believe it or not, just being around you makes me happy.” He takes your hand bringing it to his lips kissing it gently before looking into your eyes once more.
                “I know.” You say softly still not entirely certain how to react or deal with his looking at you that way. The shine in his eyes, the gentle tenderness in his touch.
                "There's one more thing I wanted to do today, if that's all right," you say after a while. You had packed up the basket, and considered the fishing a wash, as you hadn't caught anything.
                It was still everything you wanted it to be. "Of course darling, anything you want. What is it?" You start to play with your hands like a little girl, excited at what you had planned. "Well...I've never been up in The Eye," you confess.
                Tom's eyes widen and a smile spreads across his face. "You're kidding, right? You've never seen London from The Eye? The enormous ferris wheel just blocks from your flat?" You make a silly guilty face as he laughs. "You really have been kept busy the last few years, haven't you?" he questions. You shrug and smile. "Well, if that's where you want to go, then that's where we shall go," Tom agrees.
                You dress for dinner back at your place, having only a few things left unpacked. You hadn't been able to break your lease or find a sublet in such a short period of time, but you figured out how to make it work with your budget. It's not like you were planning on spending much in Africa. "Tom, are you sure you don't mind looking in on the place while I'm gone? I know it's probably going to be such hassle, I can get someone from work if--"
                "Love, it's fine, really. I would love to do it. It might make the year pass a little easier to know I can come and look after you even if you're not here."
                "Are you sure? What about your filming? You might not be here for long, and I don't want you to--" you rambled before Tom came to you and pulled you in for a deep kiss. It was an absolute affirmation from him.
                He broke the kiss and whispered in your ear, "I don't mind one single, little bit, darling." You blushed at him. How did he do that? It was no wonder he had hordes of fangirls.
                The two of you went around the corner for dinner to the same restaurant you met Chris and Jaimie at only a few weeks ago. You talked about your assignment- the Central African Republic. Tom begged you every few minutes, "Please be careful, darling. That can be a very dangerous area."
                "I will, Tom, I will. We'll be fine- the residents there have the same respect for us as they do for Unicef. And you know what that's like." Tom nodded, recalling his own trip to Guinea. As dinner winds down, you get more and more excited to get to your next stop. You practically leap out of your chair as Tom signs the check and he follows after you, so glad to see you excited and happy. The two of you walking as fast as you can toward it, you're almost having to run to keep up with him. "Tom, slow down! I can't keep up with you and your mile-long legs!" He laughs and reaches for your hand as you both start to speed up as you get closer.
                It was almost too good to be true- as you climb into your car with Tom, it's entirely empty. "We have the whole car to ourselves? This is amazing!" you exclaim. Tom slides his hands around you and says,
                "Well, I wanted your fist time here to be perfect." You lean back and look at him.
                "You set this up, didn't you?" Tom smiles sheepishly and looks down away from you. All you can do is sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"
                He laughs lightly and kisses your forehead. "Anything you want to, darling."
                You walk in circles around the car, just staring out into the scene before you. London is lit up like a Christmas tree all around you, and you fall silent. Big Ben stands tall and proud next to the Parliament building. You can see Tower Bridge in the distance. It is without a doubt, one of the most beautiful things you'd ever seen. You hear Tom's footsteps come up behind you, and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. He rests his chin on the top of your head. After a moment, he looses an arm and reaches into his pocket. "I want to remember this moment with you."
                He pulls his cell phone out and flips the camera on. "What are you doing?" you almost laugh. "Smile darling," he says with hardly any warning, and snaps a picture. You can only laugh. He slides the camera to video mode and hits the red button. "What are you doing, you silly man?" you ask and giggle. He turns his head to look at you and respond and says, "What does it look like? I want to make a video of this silly moment of us, now cooperate!" He laughs loudly. You begin to giggle and can't stop. "Come on, look at the camera! Now, what's today?" "Saturday, the twentieth of June." "And where are we?" "The London Eye," you play along. "And what happens tomorrow?" Tom says dropping a bit of the play attitude. You answer in response with a bit of somberness yourself, "I leave for one year of work with Doctors Without Borders to Central Africa." You bite your cheek to keep from crying. Tom continues, "And who is massively proud of you? Hmm? And who loves you more than anything else in the world and will be counting the days til you return, no matter where he is filming or doing research for a part or reading a script?"
                You feel your cheeks get hot as you blush harder than you probably ever have. You whisper out, "You." Tom kisses your temple fiercely then says, "That's right. Me. Because you are the most singular woman I have ever met and I love you." You turn your head to meet his and he captures your lips. It's sweet and full of longing. He slides his tongue along your lips and you give him access. He always tastes amazing. The kiss deepens before you realize he's still filming, until he slowly breaks away, inhaling you. He swallows hard and breathes deeply as you tell him, "I love you, too."
                You should have slept. You should have gotten one more good night's sleep before leaving. But spending your last night with Tom in his eager and passionate embrace was a much better decision.
He'd driven you to the airport. He stands with you while you wait for your boarding call. Every few minutes, he pulls you in to a deep kiss, stealing your breath. Every time you open your eyes, he's smiling at you. His eyes are shining but he resolves not to cry.
                Your boarding call comes across the PA. "Well. That's me."
                Tom pulls you into his arms and into a kiss you feel down into your toes. "I love you. Don't forget that."
                "I love you. We'll be so busy this next year will fly by." Your voice chokes. He cups your face with his hands, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. You hike your carry-on higher on your shoulder. He opens his hands and let's you go. He wants so desperately for you to give in and stay but he wants you happy more than anything. He watches you down the concourse until he can't see you anymore.
                Your heart clinches when you look back. He's trying to maintain a neutral face, and failing. His face is scrunched up. You take a deep breath and hand the flight attendant your boarding pass. This is it. You're really doing it. Will you feel the same about him after the year is up? Will you be willing to try to give him what he wants? Only time will tell. This is something your heart needs to do before you can give it to him. You feel lighter and more sure that you've made the right decision with each step you take toward your future.
The End
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