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Limelight	By : HobNobsAndTea Category: Individual Celebrities > Tom Hiddleston Views: 2495 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: All events in this story are completely fictional, have never happened. We recieve no money from this story, and wrote it simply for the joy of writing it. Enjoy!

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
                When you get home to your apartment, you’re extremely exhausted. First thing was first you got into the hot shower and washed your tired aching body from head to toe twice, then slip into your pajama’s. Drinking two bottles of water, you brush your teeth before getting into your bed. Oh it was so good to be in your own bed again. Turning off the light you snuggle in and fall asleep.
                The wrap party was alive and kicking even though you were a bit tipsy and more than a little sad. You managed to separate from group and hide in Tom's dressing room.
                You sat in his chair, looking around the room. It would be weird not to see him in this room next performance. If Mary even kept you on. You toyed with the hem of your dress. With the last performance being tomorrow, you had a day before you and Tom left for the holiday he really had planned as a surprise.
                A throat clears from the doorway. "I thought is find you here."
                "Sorry. I guess I'm feeling sentimental."
                "It's quite alright." Mary walls over to you and leans against the dressing table. "I know I've been hard and demanding. And I'm not going to apologize for that. I just wanted to say you've done amazing job this production and I do hope you'll stay on for the next."
                "Are you kidding me? Of course." You stammer slightly.
                Mary holds up her hand. "I was wrong in thinking your relationship with Tom would detrimental. I've seen the way you two look at each other. And you've been nothing but professional despite everything that happened. I hope you enjoy the break and look forward to seeing you in April."
                You watched her leave and spotted Tom, holding another pair of glasses of champagne. He nods at Mary. "You'll at least see me settled in Canada before the start, right? Like we'd discussed?"
                "Yes. Ellen's coming up to visit. And so is my mom."
                "I'll get to meet your mother?"
                You toy with the hem of your dress again. "It was my surprise."
                He gathers you up into his arms. "I've done several stage performances but this one is favorite."
                "Why's that?"
                "Because I met the woman I love." He nuzzles his nose against yours. You gaze into each other's eyes for what seems like forever. Swaying back and forth to music that isn't there.
                "We should probably get back."
                "We should."
                He interlaces his fingers with yours and brings your joined hands to his lips.
                "I can't wait to get you home."
                "Why's that?"
                "So I can push this lovely dress up to your hips and take you over the back of my reading chair."You laugh.
                "You think the dress is lovely?" Your face and neck flush with wine and desire.
                "Cheeky brat." He kisses you deeply. You can taste the champagne on his tongue. You still weren't much of a wine drinker but it tasted better on his mouth.
                "I knew we'd find them making out." Stephen titters from the doorway. The kiss breaks and you both look at Mark and Stephen.
                "How much do you want to bet, pet, that his costumes disappear? He does look rather dashing in red leather."
                "You." The four of you head back to that party.
                The party is winding up and you get your things. Tom comes in, “Are you ready to go?”

                “Actually I need to head home really quick. You don’t mind do you?” You ask.

                “Not at all, I’ll drive you . . .” He begins.

                “Oh no. It’s okay, I know you’re still visiting. I’d just run home really quick and get a changes of clothes and some pajama’s. I really need to do some laundry.” You say zipping up your coat.

                “Okay. If you’re certain. Pick you up in an hour and a half?” He questions.

                “Sounds good.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you kissing you deeply.
                “Mmmm.” He moans against your lips before looking into your eyes, “We definitely need to get home as soon as possible.” He says against your lips. You giggle and kiss him again before you both embrace tightly.

                Tom goes back to talk to a couple of his fellow cast members and you leave the theater walking home. When you get there you pause a moment seeing scratches on the lock. They must have been there before but you never noticed. It was strange. Unlocking it you go inside before closing the door and turning on the light. When you turn back your eyes go wide finding a familiar face in your house.

                “Hello pet.” Tyler says as he stands from the couch. Your heart starts to race thumping loudly in your chest. You feel a knot in your throat and you can hadn’t breathe.

                “What are you doing here? How did you get in to my apartment?” You ask in a terrified almost whisper barely able to form the words. He smiles.

                “It’s been a long time. You’ve been hiding out from me haven’t you. That’s why I haven’t been able to find you. Would you believe how lucky it was I was visiting Britain when you're picture popped up on the web.” He says with a small sinister grin.

                “I have a retraining order. You shouldn’t be here. You’re breaking the terms, your breaking the law.” You say quickly.

                “Oh baby, that’s for the states. It doesn’t cover England.” He says his smile growing a bit more.

                Your eyes were still wide as your mind began to race. This was a nightmare, it was a complete and utter nightmare. “If you wanted to stay hidden from me so much, maybe you shouldn’t be fucking a famous actor. Never thought you’d turn into a whore, my shy little pet.”

                At once you turn and run for the next room, quickly slamming the door closed. He throws himself against it and slams his fist against the wood. You quickly go to the closet and dig through it as bits and pieces fall out around you. At the back of the closet you find your baseball bat and take it out. Just as he smashes the door open with his shoulder.

                You raise the bat trying to hit him with it, but he reaches out grabbing you by the throat before he grabs your wrist holding the weapon and squeezes twisting your hand so hard you hear a crack in your arm. You cry out as the bat falls from your hand and he pulls you closer his hand tightening around your throat. “I’ve been looking for you pet. I told you once my divorce was final you’d move in with me.”

                You grit your teeth gasping for air. Suddenly you manage to spit in his face. Causing him to laugh as he wipes it from his eyes. Then at once his hand comes across your face so hard your head jerks back and you fall to the floor. Within a moment there’s darkness and you blackout from the pain.

                Tyler stands over you cocking his head wiping his face again, “Hmm. Seems like you’ve forgotten how things are. Guess we’ll have to start over.” Reaching down he grabs your arm he’d already injured by twisting it so far he almost dislocated your shoulder before jerking you up from the floor and slinging you over his arm picking you up and taking you back in the living room tossing you down on the couch.
                Tom had said an hour but you'd been teasing each other at the party. He couldn't wait to get you home and trace every line of your body with his tongue.
                He pulled up in front of your house after only 30 minutes. He whistled to himself, buttoning his suit jacket as he walked. The front light wasn't on like always. In fact, he couldn't see any lights on. He raised his hand to knock.
                Your scream cuts the night like the knife cutting your cheek. "Shelia?!" He tries the knob. You scream again as the knife slices along your collarbone. Tyler set to work quickly. He'd shredded your lovely dress Tom had bought for you. Then he proceeded to beat the hell out of you before tying on you your back to your coffee table. A limb to each leg.
                When Tom busted through your front door, Tyler sat on your belly, taking his knife to your alabaster skin. Several bleeding lines criss-crossed your chest. He hadn't gotten into his real fun yet.
                The sound that came from Tom's throat was nigh on unintelligible, full of rage. He tackled Tyler off you and onto the floor. He might have only fought in choreographed fights but this. This. This was you!
                The two of them struggled with the knife before it slid over under the couch. They traded blows back and forth. You could only watch in horror and sob uncontrollably.
                Sirens filled the night. One of you neighbors had called the police. Tom and Tyler were still trading punches when the police stormed into the room.
                They handcuffed both men and helped you free. One of the officers covered you in a blanket. You weren't coherent in your hysterical crying and occasional screaming. The medics tried to get you out of the house and onto the ambulance but every time they took you out of sight of Tom, you began to shriek. The police uncuffed Tom when they were able to make out the scene.
                You collapse into Tom's arms, the blanket and your body getting his clothes bloody.
                "I'm so sorry, baby. Shelia, please let the medics take care of you." You wouldn't let go of him but you nodded. Tom nodded to the officer and the officer waved the medics over.
                At the hospital, Tom stood signing paperwork and giving a report to the police on everything that had happened. Luke had arrived not long after as Tom had called him to tell him what was going on, on the ambulance ride.

                “How badly is she hurt?” Luke asked.

                “She had some cuts that took a few stitches and she was beat pretty bad. But there’s nothing broken and they don’t think there’s any permanent damage. It seems to be all superficial.” Tom said a somber look on his face as he was slightly in shock at the entire event himself. “She’s resting right now, out cold. They sedated her on the way here, put her out the rest of the way because she was still in hysterics.”

                Luke sighed, “I’m afraid the bad news doesn’t stop there Tom.”

                He looked at him, “What?”

                “Neither one of them are British citizens. They’re both American. Can press charges all we want but the fact is that he’s already contacted the American embassy. They’ll ship him back to the states but that’s probably as far as it’s going to go.” He said with a sigh.

                Tom just stared at him for several moments in silence. “That’s rubbish. That is absolute rubbish! She had a restraining order against him!”

                Luke held up his hands, “I said probably, Tom. These overseas matters get tricky sometimes and they might prefer to just not deal with it. However, because she is seeing you and you do have some notoriety, it’ll be harder to just be swept under the carpet.”

                “Good! Use me however it takes to see that bastard rots in jail! Do you have any idea . . . . she’s not just . . . come here.” Tom grabbed his arm and took him down the hallway to where your room was and walked him just inside the door. Luke frowns to see you lying in the hospital bed bandages over your wounds, the one on your face. Various black and blue marks from the bruises he’d cause showing on your arms and around your neck where he’d held you more than once. “He doesn’t get to get away with this Luke.”

                Luke gives a nod understanding and agreeing completely. “I’ll make a few calls.” He said clasping Tom’s shoulder before turning and disappearing into the hallway taking out his phone.

                Tom sighs and walks over sitting down next to your bed where you lay on your side asleep. Reaching up he gently strokes your hair back from your face, his lip quivering as he felt a knot in his throat as he choked back the tears. He leans down close to your face, “He’s not going to get away with this.” He promises before kissing your forehead ever so gently wrapping his hand around yours holding it gently.

                A while later Mark and Stephen appear at the doorway, Tom having been sitting in the chair next to your bed watching over you. He had called the Donmar stage manager to explain to her what had happened and why you were not going to be there tomorrow and word had spread from there about your being in the hospital. He knew how much your job meant to you and you were in no condition to handle it yourself.

                Tom stood and walked over as Mark shook his hand. Stephen walked over to you placing the teddy bear he’d brought you on the nightstand next to the bed. Tom stood telling them both what had happened as Stephen’s look darkened. “What about her family?” Mark asked.

                “I called her friend, Ellen. She’s taking care of it. I believe she and Shelia’s mother are getting on a plane now to come here. They said they would call when they arrived at the airport.” Tom responded. “They’re going to keep her sedated for a while longer before bringing her around. Then the police are going to want to get her statement as well to find out what happened before I got there.”

                “Thank God you got there when you did.” Stephen said. Tom didn’t even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn’t come to get you earlier then he’d said. A few minutes later, the nurse came by letting them know that visiting hours were over.

                Mark shook Tom’s hand again as did Stephen, “Call us if you need anything.”

                “Thank you.” They turned and left and Tom returned to his seat, having no intention of leaving your side. They couldn’t drag him out of their if they tried.
                Your eyes open slowly feeling every single pain and ache in your body. You groan a little reaching up and covering your eyes with your hand. It was so incredibly bright and it hurt your eyes. After a moment the light over your bed turned off allowing you to see better.

                “Hello darling.” Tom’s voice said gently. You look up to see his face and smiled. He was such a wonderful sight to wake up to. He smiled and leaned down kissing your forehead before looking into your eyes, “How are you feeling?”

                “Like I’ve been run over by a herd of elephants.” You say softly.

                “The doctor said you’re going to be sore for a while, but you should be fine in a few weeks.” He explained as he stroked your hair. “They’re going to give you some meds to help with the pain.” You give a nod reaching up and touching your face. You frown when you feel the large bandage that covered half your face. “It’s alright sweetheart, it really isn’t that bad.”

                You sigh, “I hate you seeing me this way. I thought I was done with the hospital trips when I left LA.”

                “Well you live here now, and he’s being sent back to the states. He won’t be allowed here again after this. He won’t bother you again darling.” He said holding your hand lacing his fingers with yours.

                “Did I miss closing night?”

                “Yes, but we somehow made it through. And,” He motioned around the room and you lift your head looking about. There were countless flowers in every direction that were sent to you with well wishes. “From the cast and others who were hoping it might cheer you up.”

                You blink in astonishment, “I . . . I don’t know that many people.” You say softly.

                Tom pauses a moment before sighing. He couldn’t hide it from you forever, “Word has gotten out. About what happened to you. We’ve managed to keep specific details out of the press, but we haven’t been able to hide the fact that you’re in the hospital.”

                “Oh Tom.” You say softly. Tears start to fill your eyes feeling incredibly foolish and humiliated. Reaching up you cover your eyes with your hand. “I am so sorry. I don’t know how this happened.”

                “Darling.” He says leaning closer, “None of this is your fault. It’s his fault. That degenerate moron who broke into your flat and attacked you.”

                You pause a moment, “I remember.” You say softly, “You came and you saved me.” It was strange, almost surreal as you remembered more of the attack. “Tom, he could have really hurt you, he could have . . . he could have . . .” You cringe realizing how much danger Tom was really in considering how sadistic Tyler was.

                “Shelia.” He says reaching up and touching your face, “I would have ripped that bastard apart with my bare hands for even considering touching you as he did. I never should have let you go back to your flat alone, I should have gone with you.” Tom had been feeling incredibly guilty about it since it had happened.

                “Tom . . .”

                “No,” He reaches up touching your lips with his fingertips. “Hush. You just need to focus on getting better. Ellen and I are seeing to everything else.”

                You furrow your brow, “But what about Crimson Peak? You start filming soon, don’t you?”

                “I have a month before shooting begins. Stop worrying so much sweetheart, everything is fine.” He says with a chuckle stroking your hair.

                “I hate hospitals.” You say in a quiet voice, “When can I go home?”

                “The doctor wants to run a few more tests, but if everything checks out and looks good then they think they’ll be able to release you by tonight. As long as you are cooperative and don’t give them a hard time.” He says arching a brow. It seemed you hadn’t been so cooperative already when you weren’t fully conscious. You had a very definite, stubborn, and combative mood. You give a nod and he smiles kissing your forehead. “Good girl.”

                Later that night, it was almost 10 when they released you from the hospital, but rather than take you back to your flat he took you home to his house. He didn’t think that your apartment was somewhere you wanted to be right now after having been attacked there. Even though he had paid his cleaning lady to clean up your apartment leaving no trace of the attack for when you did go back. Ellen and your mother hadn’t arrive yet but Tom imagined they’d be staying at your flat.

                Of course Tom was very protective of you and right on your arm in case you needed help. You could move just fine even though you were sore and in pain. “I’m okay Tom, really.” You say half laughing. He wrinkles his nose playfully realizing he was probably over doing it just a bit and kisses your cheek gently. “I’ll get your t-shirt and track pants so you can change for bed.”

                “I could really use a shower.” You say softly.

                “Are you sure you can do that?” He questions. You just give him a look and he laughs a little bit, “Alright. Just . . . let me know if you need something. Okay?”

                You give a nod and head to his bathroom closing the door behind. Turning around you frown catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked at your face in horror approaching it touching the cut in your cheek, before touching the dark bruises on your neck where Tyler had strangled you several times. “Oh my God.” You whisper pulling the collar of your shirt down where he’d sliced your skin open several times. Tears filled your eyes as you looked at yourself. It was like you’d been in an accident. You supposed you were, but it was horrifying to see.

                Shaking your head you strip off your clothes and get into the shower intending to scrub your body in hot water, to wash everything that had happened away. You just wanted it all to go away like it had never happened.
                You exhaust the hot water, screaming and crying and beating on the tile. You half expected Tom to come running in but he didn't. Which made you think better of him.
                You avoided looking in her mirror add you dressed and brushed your hair. Your scalp was tender and you could feel bald patches where Tyler had ripped the hair from your head. You left your hair down just this once.
                Tom sat on the couch, his knees drawn up, staring into the fire. He clearly had something on his mind.
                You clear your throat and looks up. Instantly, his face transforms into a mask of love.
                You hold up your hand. "Please don't do that. Don't act for me. I know I look like shit. I feel like shit. This whole situation is shit."
                His smile falls. "Shelia. Come here." He pats the couch next to him. You slid against his, into the curve of his body. "I wasn't acting. I felt like you needed a brave face and to see how much I love you."
                You're honest with yourself and him. "I don't need a brave face but I do need to see your love. I just want this to be over with."
                "It will be soon." He cuddles you closer but is careful of your wounds. "I want you to stay here for awhile."
                You didn't want to go back to your apartment. And with Ellen and your mom coming, they'd insist on you moving. So for once you didn't fight him. "Alright. Just until I can find another place."
                Tom pauses. "Well ok then." He laughs and it's the best sound you've heard since waking up. "I had a whole speech prepared but now I don't need it."
                You rest your unbandaged cheek against his chest. "I love you." "I love you too, Kitten." He plays with your hair, staring into the fire. "Cocoa?"
                "Yes please." You draw the blanket around you as he slips off the couch.
                "Be right back, my love."
                You watch him go, feeling the anxiety bubble swell in your chest. You knew this time you couldn't do it alone. You'd have to get help. Maybe Luke could find someone.
                You phone rang a number you didn't recognize but the name of hospital was underneath. "Hello?"
                "Is this Shelia?"
                "This is her."
                "Great. Normally, we wouldn't do this over the phone but the attending asked me to call and have you stop taking the narcotic pain reliever. He's sending out another script to the pharmacy that Mr. Windsor put down."
                "Okay.... is there a reason?"
                "Well of course, dear. You can't take narcotics while you're pregnant. He didn't see the positive hCG result."
                "Oh ok. Thank you. Bye." You end the call. The kettle whistles and the anxiety bubble burst. The cry in the shower was a sniffle compared to this. The sobs rip from your chest, painfully.
                Tom comes in carrying a tray. He nearly drops it on the table, spilling cocoa, marshmallows and the chocolate chip cookies the two of you baked the other night all over the tray. He crushes you against him, ignoring your injuries. "Oh Shelia. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
                You manage to choke out of the words. "I'm pregnant."
                Tom blinks falling silent a moment as he just stares at you. You fall silent your eyes turning down realizing what you had just said outloud. This wasn’t just your problem, it was his too. It was his baby. “Sorry? What was that?” He asks.

                You reach up wiping your tears away taking a few deep breaths. “The hospital just called to tell me they’re switching my pain meds. It’s standard procedure for them to run a pregnancy test on women when they come in. Mine came back positive and they said they had to change my prescription because narcotics can’t be used when you’re . . . .” You sigh not wanting to repeat it.

                Tom is still quiet just staring at you wide eyed. Inside it felt like ice water running through your veins wishing you hadn’t just blurted it out at him all of a sudden. You should have taken time to think it through. To even decide you wanted to tell him or to just keep it to yourself land figure out what to do later. But it was too late now. It was out there.

                “Oh God,” You cover your face with your hand feeling like a complete ass now. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You look up at him as he still just stares at nothing in shock. Shaking your head you get up from the couch to go get your coat. Things just got even more complicated than they already were, you managed to make it worse, and you didn’t want to put more pressure on him.

                Tom shakes it off and quickly gets up following after you, “Shelia, wait!” You open the hall closet door and take out your coat putting it on. “Shelia.” He stops you pulling your coat off and putting it back in the closet closing the door. “Sweetheart, just . . . just wait.” He reaches out gently cupping your face in his hands trying to calm you down before resting his hands on your shoulders. “Let’s just . . .lets have a moment to process this, okay?” He asks really needing to sort this out in his own head.

                “What? What is there to think about?” You shake your head, “I’ll just, . . . I’ll go to the doctors and I’ll get it taken care of. No one ever has to know, okay? It was a mistake. It was my fault, and I’ll deal with it.”

                Tom furrows his brow, “How was this your fault? Last time I checked it takes two darling.”

                “I haven’t been on birth control since I left the states and never told you. I never warned you.” You say tears welling up in your eyes. “So yes, that makes it my fault.”

                “Oh really? I didn’t ask you if you were taking anything, and I don’t recall at any point using a condom or taking precautions of any kind. Sorry love, seems we both dropped the ball.” He sighs and reaches up rubbing his eyes slightly.

                You didn’t really have anywhere to go right now. Back to your apartment was an option, and checking into a hotel looking like you’ve been in a car wreck probably wasn’t going to fly without someone noticing. “I’m tired.” You say softly not wanting to cry anymore and wanting desperately to get your out of control emotions in check. “I’m going to go lay down in your guest bedroom.” Before Tom can respond, you quickly walk away going to the guest bedroom and closing the door. Leaning your back against it you stare up at the ceiling as tears escape your eyes falling down your face. What an absolute mess.

                Around 4am, you’re lying on the bed with a small blanket pulled over your middle just starring at the wall in the darkness. You can’t sleep, you can’t even close your eyes for any amount of time. In the morning you were going to have to start looking for a new apartment, and at this point you were going to be grateful for the escape. You felt like you’d imposed on Tom enough at this point, and caused enough problems. He had his career to think about and he didn’t need a broken neurotic mess like you getting in the way of that.

                The door of the room opens quietly and Tom slips inside coming to sit beside you on the bed in the darkness. He doesn’t say anything at first and then reaches up gently stroking your hair. You close your eyes loving the feel of his touch, it was always calming and seemed to take so much pressure and pain away.

                “I don’t want you to get rid of it.” He says after a moment.

                “Oh Tom, don’t.” You say turning over and burying your face in the pillow. “Please don’t.” He barely had any time to think about this at all and you still didn’t fully believe it yourself.

                “No, now listen to me.” He says reaching over and turning on the small lap on the nightstand. Taking your hands he pulls you to sit up and wraps his arms around your waist holding you close. “I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes darling. It hurts not knowing how to fix things. I would make it all better and all the bad things go away for you if I could. Unfortunately, despite what some people think, I’m only a man and can only do so much.” He takes a breath looking into your tired eyes gathering his thoughts. “We have time. We don’t have to make a decision right now about what we want to do. What you need right now most of all is time to rest, time to heal.” Reaching up he gently strokes your hair back from your eyes. “But don’t worry about this. It’s not the end of the world and it isn’t your fault.”

                You give a nod still feeling shaky inside and incredibly vulnerable. “Don’t tell anyone.” You whisper softly, “I know that . . . secrets are almost impossible to keep but please Tom. This one . . . this one we’ve got to keep quiet and just between us. Not even Ellen, not even my mom. Okay?”

                He looks into your eyes and gives a quiet nod not entirely sure if he agreed with that idea. Because keeping it so quiet and just between the two of you kept the abortion option open and it was the one thing he was completely against. Even if it was the easy way out. “Alright. Until we decide how we want to handle things, just between us.” He says kissing you gently. “But for now you just need to concentrate on you. Concentrate on getting better. Everything’s going to be alright darling. I promise.” He reassures you. You close your eyes giving a nod before hugging him tight resting your head to his shoulder. He kisses your head holding you close gently rubbing your back with his hand.

                After a few moments he stands tossing the blanket back and lifts you from the bed carrying you back to his room to sleep with him. He wanted you close, and he wanted to hold you. He couldn’t do that if you were in a different room on the other side of the house.

                A week later, your wounds and bruises looked better and were starting to heal. The bandages came off and the stitches not far behind them as everything looked good and there was no infection. You sat with Ellen and your mom eating lunch at a bistro not far from your old apartment.
                “I really like the new apartment.” Your mother says, “I think it’s much nicer than the old one. We can have all your things moved over to the new one by Thursday.”

                “Thank you guys.” You say softly, “I don’t know how I could have gotten any of this done without you.” Your mom reaches over and wraps her arm around you. There’s a long moment of silence before you look between them. “What?”

                “Heather . . .” She begins but you stop her.

                “Mom, that’s not my name anymore.” You remind her.

                “Oh, sorry. Shelia.” She corrects herself. “It’s sort of hard to break a lifetime habit honey. You’ve always been Heather to me. I only used your middle name when you were in trouble.” You smile and stick your tongue out at her playfully. The table falls silent again before she looks at you, “I know how much you’ve wanted to come here, and how much you love working in the theater . . . but . . . don’t you think it’s time you came home?” You sigh putting down your drink. This wasn’t a new tune from her, she never liked the idea of your moving to another country. The only difference now is that what happened gave her a leg to stand on.

                “I had a setback. That’s all. Tyler’s gone, and he’s not going to be allowed back in Britain.” You were doing much better now, you could control your emotions better and you hadn’t cried in nearly a full week. “The Donmar didn’t fire me like I was afraid they were going to do, and there are 3 other theaters in the west end that have offered me jobs as stage crew and wardrobe mistress. I’m doing fine. The new apartment is bigger, and everything is fine.”

                Ellen gave a nod and smiled a little, “That’s great Shelia . . . but you’re just here on a work visa. What happens when that expires?”

                “Then I get another one. I’m looking into applying for citizenship soon then it won’t be an issue at all.” You admit.

                “Is it because of Tom? You don’t want to come home because of him?” Your mother asks. You look at her before picking up your glass taking a drink. “Honey, I know you two seem thick as thieves right now and we’ve seen the way you look at each other . . . but you’ve only been together a few months. He travels the world doing movies and press junkets . . . he’s going to be away a lot. Time apart like that doesn’t always do relationships any favors.” You’d already thought of that to be honest, which put another mark in the ‘baby-isn’t-a-good-idea’ column. However you and Tom had agreed to keep it absolutely quiet. You didn’t even talk about it outloud to each other. Tom wanted you to have time to get better before you had to face it.

                “Mom, even if Tom and I don’t work out . . . I love it here. I love working here. I want to stay as long as I can.” She sighs in disappointment, “I’m not saying that I’ll never come back to the states, I might someday. Just . . . not now.”
                You sit on your back terrace while your mom and Ellen pack. They understood why you couldn't be in the flat but wanted to be there.
                Ellen's voice is loud and angry from the front room.
                "You've got alot of nerve showing your skanky Skeletor face here. I suggest you leave."
                "I just wanted to see if Shelia was alright. Thomas and Luke have stonewalled all my attempts."
                "Like you fucking care. It's YOUR FAULT HE FOUND HER!"
                You walk into the room. "Ellen please." Your best friend seethes, her hands clenched in fists. "I'm pretty sure I just saved you a punch to the face, Jane."
                "I need a fucking cigarette." She snatches up her pack and lighter. She stabs a finger at Jane. "You better be gone before I'm done or my fist will meet your face." You watch her out the patio door.
                "Talk and make it quick."
                "I'm truly sorry. I never meant anything like this to happen. The media leak was supposed to make you rethink your relationship with Thomas. The lack of privacy, the scrutiny."
                "And you think he'd run right to you?"
                "Oh I'm sure he would have. But you managed to win his heart."
                "Do me a favor and go away. If you see me ever, go in the other direction."

                You pull into the driveway. You should have just let Ellen slap her. Dropping your keys and purse on the hall table, you find Tom in his chair with his laptop open. He's scrolling through cute baby toys. Cartoony baby animals.
                "Tom?"
                "Kitten." He closes the laptop. You sigh and sit on the arm of the chair. "Baby toys?"
                "You saw."
                "I saw." You didn't want to talk about this now. Instead, you decide to explain. "Ellen told me she told you everything. But there's one thing that I never told her." He sets the laptop to the side. "One of the things the counselor told me I had to was tel the truth. And the truth is, Tom, they told me there was a 85% chance I wouldn't get pregnant and if I did, there was no guarantee I'd be able to carry to term."
                He fell very still. You slid off the arm of the chair and into his lap. "Then why - I mean, I don't understand your reservations against the baby."
                "I...I want to be excited and happy. This is a part of you." You lay your hand on your lower abdomen. "This is something I had resigned myself to never having. It hurts. If - if what happened damaged the baby, I'd never forgive myself. For hurting you like that. I worry -" You take a shuddering breath, anxiety and tears threaten. "- I worry about miscarriage. Spontaneous abortion. How can I be excited with that eating at me? How can I be happy when I'm expecting this to be snatched from me?"
                Tom holds you against his chest, resting his chin on your head. "Shelia, it's ok to worry and be afraid but you deserve to be happy." He takes a deep breath. "If something happens to the baby, then maybe we can try again when we're ready."
                "What if I don't want to try again?" There. You'd said it. Tyler had taken motherhood away from you and you'd let it go.
                "Then we can adopt. When we're ready. I'll never make you do anything you don't want. So if we're never ready then-" He shrugged.
                A knot let go in your belly. You cuddle against him. "Jane came by the flat."
                "She didn't."
                "She did." You tell him the story.
                "You should have let Ellen hit her." You burst out laughing. "What? I'll never hit a woman but I can't help but blame her partially for this."
                You smile a little looking into his eyes brushing his stubbly face with your fingertips. He was so handsome. You regretted a lot of things about your relationship, the things that happened, the drama that ensued, everything else that put pressure on him. You never felt this way about anyone before, you really and truly did love him.

                Turning in his lap you reach over and open the laptop to see what he was looking at. You grin looking at him. “I’m sensing a theme here.” You say clicking on the cart/wishlist that he had been filling up. Décor, stuffed animals, bedding, all of it from Disney’s Jungle book.

                He smiles a little wrapping his arms around your waist resting his chin on your shoulder. “Oh come on, it’s cute isn’t it? I was thinking, if we convert the spare bedroom into a nursery, we could paint a mural on the wall with the characters. Baloo, Bagera, King Louis.”

                Somehow the two of you managed to keep this whole thing under wraps. You hadn’t told anyone but each other, and you hadn’t spoken of it out loud. It seemed like Tom had become rather excited about the prospect of being a father, and he hadn’t been able to share his excitement and was positively bursting at the seams. He hadn’t even been able to share it with you, not wanting to upset you or make you feel pressured because of what he wanted. You realize that maybe you were being exceptionally selfish. You were letting your fears get the best of you, and when he showed even the slightest interest in the subject you smacked him down fast.

                You turn and look into his eyes a moment before kissing his cheek then resting your head against his as you both look at the laptop screen while he scrolls through the different popups he had opened and the things he had found. “Do you really . . . .” You pause turning your eyes down a minute not entirely sure how to approach this. “You really . . .want this baby. Don’t you.”

                He pauses a moment almost as though he was afraid to answer. He wraps his other arm around you embracing you tight on his lap before whispering into your ear, “More than anything.” He confesses. “I love you sweetheart. And as unexpected as this was . . . conceiving a child with the woman I love, I can’t imagine there being anything more wondrous then that.” He reaches up touching your chin turning your face towards him so he can look into your eyes. “Can you imagine how beautiful our baby would be? With your beautiful smile?”

                You smile a little bit, “Your beautiful eyes?”

                He grins, “The way your nose scrunches when you try not to laugh.”

                Reaching up you slide your fingers through his hair, “You’re curly blonde locks?”

                He chuckles a little his smile brightening, “You really think so?” He says as you both giggle at the thought.

                “I used to be a blonde too when I was little. I don’t think they have a hope of escaping it.” You say with a laugh. The two of you smile finding a shared moment of happiness and excitement. You kiss each other tenderly as his large hands gently strokes your body. You look into each others eyes once more.

                “We’ll keep things just between us. No one will know except you and me. At least for now. But . . . is it alright if we could be a little excited? Just a little bit?” He questions almost pleading, desperately wanting you to be excited too.

                You were still afraid, how could you not be? But if you looked into getting a good OBGYN, did things right, did things carefully then maybe . . . maybe you didn’t have to be so afraid. Looking into his eyes now, you couldn’t allow your fears to squish his happiness. It was selfish of you, and you knew it. It wasn’t just all about you anymore. Tom had to come first. Although he was always your first thought, you didn’t always act accordingly. He’d been putting you first for some time, coming to your aid, coming to your rescue, caring for you when you were sick, watching over you when you were injured, defending you when people were being complete asses for no clear reason other than jealousy.

                Smiling softly you kiss him once more before whispering, “I would love to have your baby Thomas. I would be honored to have the child of the man I love.”

                A light shines in his eyes looking at you, “Yeah?” He says as you can see the happiness and excitement washing over his face. You smile and nod. He grins and cups your face kissing you once, then again, then once more, before lavishing kisses all over embracing you tighter. You couldn’t help but laugh kissing and hugging him back seeing how happy he was.

                “But we don’t tell anyone.” You remind him. “Not for a while at least.”

                “Not a soul, just us.” He actually liked the two of you hiding this secret and keeping it for yourselves. “Just us.” He repeats kissing you again unable to stop holding you tight.

                You giggle as his stubbly kisses tickles your skin. “Okay,” You say with a grin, “Bring me up to speed on everything you’ve already picked out.”

                “Just stuff for the nursery.” He says excitedly pulling the laptop a bit closer to the two of you closing a few windows before opening one with furniture. “I thought this set might look nice, the dark oak colors will go with anything. It’s a crib, a dresser, and a changing table. The Jungle book is sort of unisex so the colors in the mural and the walls would be neutral. Sort of jungle themed all the way around.”

                “Good. I’d prefer jungle to Disney.” You admit never really liking the commercial branding that Disney seemed to go in for. He smiles kissing your shoulder.

                “Look, they even have Jungle Book bedding for the crib.” He says pulling up another window. You can’t help but laugh a little kissing his cheek again as he excitedly continued to show you things he’d found. He must have been thinking about this constantly since you first told him the news. You regretted that you hadn’t told him in a better way, but you were such an emotional mess you weren’t thinking straight, or really thinking about anything but yourself. But it was time for that to change.

                A little while later he took you to the spare room he had picked out for the nursery, and moved around the room showing you where things would go, what would be painted on the walls, the different furniture that would be included. He just seemed to sparkle and shine and you couldn’t help but smile knowing how happy he was. How happy you had made him.
                “So what do you think?” He questions coming to the end of his plans.

                You look at him slyly, “Are you sure you aren’t gay?”

                He looks at you thinking that an interesting comment walking over wrapping his arms around you pulling you against him, “Well if I was I hardly think we would have impending parenthood love.” He says kissing your nose.

                “I just never knew a straight guy who was so good at interior design.” You tease. He grins kissing you again, then once more, then a bit deeper then before wrapping his arms around you a bit further. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both start to passionately run your hands over one another. After another few moments, Tom sweeps you up into his arms carrying you over to the bed and laying you down before laying over you looking down into your eyes, admiring how beautiful you were just in awe of the fact that the woman he loved so much was carrying his baby inside of her. Sliding his fingers through your hair before cradling your head in his hands and slowly tasting your lips savoring the feel and warmth of them against his own.

                He trails kisses down your face to your neck, chest, to your belly before resting his face against your abdomen, holding you tight as he closed his eyes just imagining the life inside that you had created together. You wrap your arms around him, gently running your fingers through his hair. This was a lot to take in, a huge change in your lives, but it didn’t feel so scary now. Realizing how much he really did love you, and wasn’t going to just abandon you to face everything alone. You smile closing your eyes just stroking his head holding him close.
                You pace impatiently back and forth before sitting on the examination table again. But it isn’t long before you’re back on your feet pacing some more. Finally the door opened and the doctor stepped in. “Good afternoon Miss Garrison.”

                “Yeah, Hi.” You step closer to him, “The nurse said that my test results came back on the phone that you wanted to see me. What is it? What’s going on?” You ask worriedly.

                “I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to worry you. Actually everything looks very good, you checked out fine.” You pause starring at him.

                “Really?” You really were expecting the worst. “What about my medical records? The scar tissue they said would make things difficult for me to even get pregnant?” The doctor motions for you to sit down before sitting on his stool beside you.

                “Far less then what was first thought. You’ve had time to heal since your injuries, and things aren’t nearly as bad as they seemed before. I do have to ask why you haven’t seen a gynecologist regularly since you were hospitalized in LA.” The doctor asked.

                “Well. After they told me, I just kind of assumed it wasn’t really necessary anymore. They said that the injuries made me . . . that I was barren.” You say looking down never having liked to talk about this, which was part of the reason you hadn’t seen a doctor. It was embarrassing to begin with, never mind the fact you had to keep revisiting what happened to you. “What about, . . . what about the baby?”

                The doctor smiles, “Everything looks good Miss Garrison. Very healthy. Have you started the supplements and prenatal vitamins I prescribed for you?” You give a nod. “Your blood tests are showing that you are a little anemic right now but that’s to be expected. I’m going to put you on 30mg of Iron for now. Aside from that, everything checks out and looks great.”

                You close your eyes and smile with a sigh of relief. “Thank God.” You were trying not to be so pessimistic and expect the worst but given your past history it was hard not to be a bit paranoid. “What about the nausea I get sometimes? Usually when I first wake up?”

                “Morning sickness. It’s common for most women in the first trimester but it should get better.” You smile again and nod. “Are you with someone? Are you going to be coming to these appointments on your own?”

                “For now. My boyfriend and I want to keep this quiet for a while, just to ourselves you know?” You say softly. “Right now, from the outside it just seems like I’m getting my yearly physical with a gynecologist. Don’t usually have company when you go in for that.”

                “Well don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone and your covered under doctor patient confidentiality.” He reassures you.“Are their family complications? Is that the reason you don’t want anyone to know?” He questions trying to gauge if you needed help. You half laugh and shake your head.

                “No nothing like that.” You pause a moment before realizing that this man was your doctor and you couldn’t really keep details like this from him. “Okay Doc, here’s the situation.” You explain to him everything from the beginning and include Tom’s position, his career and notoriety that made him and his entire life a target for social media gossip. Then you explain about your abusive ex finding you because of it, of the attack that took place and the injuries you sustained, which led to discovering you were pregnant in the first place. He makes notes in your chart understanding better and nods listening to everything you say. “So, that’s why we’re keeping things under wraps for now. Why I asked that my prescriptions be written under a different name instead of my actual name. We just wanted to kinda keep things private, especially . . . since we didn’t know how things were going to go. After all the damage they said was done to my insides. They told me that if by some miracle I did get pregnant I wouldn’t be able to carry to term.”

                “I can understand that. And I am quite happy to report that such internal injuries were greatly exaggerated. The scarring is extensive but not obstructive. Of course if you kept seeing a doctor after your initial injuries they could have told you that much sooner once you healed.” He explains. “So, we will keep using the name that your prescriptions are written under and I’ll make sure your real name is removed from your records. All of the doctors and nurses here are very professional but we’ll do this anyway as a precaution.” You nod and smile standing as he stands as well shaking your hand. “If the morning sickness gets worse, or you have any questions you can call me directly.” He takes out his card and writes his cell number on the back before giving it to you. “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you.” You nod again and head out leaving the office.

                As soon as you’re downstairs you dial the phone calling Tom to tell him the news knowing he was going to be ecstatic. He’d been anxious about the appointment since you’d gone in for tests two days ago and was waiting with his heart in his throat when they called wanting you to come back in. You still hadn’t told anyone, and to be honest you weren’t ready to share it yet. You still wanted it kept between you and Tom and no one else. “Tom?” You say when you hear him answer the phone. “Can you meet me for lunch after your meeting?”
                You settled into the table at the café. Your mom and Ellen had only left yesterday but you felt their absence. A part of you felt bad for not telling them about the baby. Only a part. You liked having this little thing between you. A special little secret just you two.
                Stephen helped with the sets at the Donmar. Though his real passion though was painting. You'd found an old illustration from the Jungle Book. You set your water down. "So you'll do it?"
                "Of course. Anything for you. And Tom. He's been great. Plus it'll keep my mind of Mark."
                "Something wrong?"
                "He's in Scotland, rehearsing. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like he was avoiding me."
                "I'm sorry, hun." You may your hand on your friend's.
                He shrugs. "I knew this might happen But I'm fine with it. I got to love him while I could."
                "I appreciate it. The Jungle Book is Tom's favorite tale from childhood. This means the world to me."
                "What means the world to you?"
                You and Stephen look up at Tom. A smile breaks over your face. "Something special."
                Stephen squeezes your hand. "I'll call you tomorrow." Tom and Stephen share a man half hug. Before Tom sits in the chair, he leans in and kisses you tenderly. His hand dropping to caress your stomach.
                "How are my loves this afternoon?" He settles into the chair. "Have you ordered?"
                "Not yet. I'm a tad queasy and wanted to wait for you."
                The waitress comes for your order. Tom reaches across the table to take your hands. "So what's up, Kitten?"
                You turn your palms up and take his hands. "I know I said I'd go with you to Canada next week but I think I should stay here." He starts to pull his hands away. "Listen before you get upset. I don't want to miss my counseling. Once I start missing, I'll be less likely to go. And there is the whole-" You mouth 'baby'. "-thing. I don't want to push my luck. Plus, I'm applying for citizenship."
                His thumbs rub along the backs of your hands. "I don't like the thought of being at from you for three whole months."
                "I don't either but the Tyler incident might give them pause."
                "There is that." He sighs. "I'll call you everyday no matter how tired I am."
                "And I'll answer no matter how tired I am. There's something else."
                He raises his eyebrow. "Yes, love?"
                "Would you sponsor my application should I need one?"
                "Of course!"
                Sitting on your couch reading a book the phone rings. You smile hearing Tom’s ringtone and seeing his picture on the screen. “Bit early for you there isn’t it?”

                “Just got back from my run and don’t have to be on set for another hour.” He reports. “How are you feeling darling?”

                “I’m fine. Still kinda kicking the morning sickness thing around. The doctor gave me Zofran in case it’s really bad.”

                “What’s that?” He questions.

                “Kind of like prescription strength Dramamine.” There’s a long pause, “Um. Sea sick medication?”

                “Ah. I see.” Yet another long pause stretches out over the phone and you close your book knowing that the argument was going to start up again. “Darling, there’s a break in production next weekend. Thursday through Sunday.”

                “Tom, we aren’t suppose to talk about this over the . . . .”

                “We’ll, there isn’t much of a choice when you’re in London and I’m in Canada is there.” He says a bit more harshly then intended. You fall silent and close your eyes, “Your scan is on Thursday afternoon and I can fly in by morning and go with you.” There’s another long pause, “We could have a family dinner party Friday or Saturday evening to make the announcement. If we make the plans for it now there’s enough time for your mother to get booked to fly to London and I could see if I could get my sister to fly over for the occasion.” Yet another long pause stretches over the phone. “Darling, please say something.”

                You take a breath, “Tom . . . I honestly don’t think that people are going to be as happy about this as you think they are.” You admit softly.

                “Nonsense. The only ones that matter are the ones who are nearest and dearest to us, and I think they’ll be very happy.” He responds. “I’d rather, for once have the chance to tell my family a bit of good news before its broadcast all over creation and chewed through the gossip columns.” Another long pause eats up a minute on the phone. “Sweetheart, please. I’m not saying we have to go public with it or make any grand press conferences. Just my family, and yours. To tell them of our good fortune. You know we can trust them.”

                “And if you go in with me for the sonogram?” You question softly.

                “We can work it out.” He says instantly. “Are you ashamed of this?” He questions.

                “No!” You exclaim instantly. Of course you weren’t.

                “Neither am I. There’s no reason for us to hide away or sneak about like we are.” You sigh thinking about it knowing he’d been anxious to tell someone, and he had a point. You were going to start showing before too long and the fact that you were working now on a production at the Noel Coward theater wasn’t exactly going to allow you to hide from the world. “Darling, I’ll make all the arrangements. We’ll go together to get your scan and then we’ll have a quiet dinner party with just our families. You won’t have to do a thing, I promise.”

                You were still very apprehensive about letting the word about but at the same time it felt like you were torturing poor Tom at this point not letting him tell anyone. He’d gone along with everything and put up with a lot, it was only fair to let him have his moment the way he wanted it. “Alright.” You say softly. You could practically hear the grin that swept Tom’s face with your answer.

                “Wonderful! I’ll make some calls, and you call your mother and see about getting her booked into a flight, and we’ll go from there. Yes?” The tone in his voice is one of absolute excitement.

                You smile a little and nod, “Okay.”

                “I love you darling.” He says sincerely into the phone.

                “I love you too. I miss you.”

                When you hang up the phone to dial Stephen’s number. “Stephen? Hi. Do you think we’ll be done with the mural this week? Tom’s coming home next Thursday for the weekend from Canada.”

                Of course you’d been staying in your own apartment since Tom left. But you had the keys to his house and permission from the gate to let you in whenever you wanted. So you and Stephen had been working on painting the scene that Tom had described in the nursery during lunch break, days off, and after work. It was almost finished and it looked absolutely wonderful. Very professional. And you hoped that it looked like what Tom had envisioned. You’d also been extremely careful not to breathe in pain fumes. As it was summer you kept the windows open and the room extremely well ventilated when working on it. Every since you found out you were pregnant you were very careful and mindful of everything. Your worst fear in the world was to do something foolish that might harm the baby.

                You felt very nervous about letting the cat out of the bag like this, when you and Tom had been successfully keeping it quiet without anyone knowing. But he was right. It wasn’t exactly a secret that could stay hidden forever and he wanted to be the one to tell it. It was only fair.
                You look at the sonogram and turn it over, then once more. “I don’t see it.”

                Tom chuckles leaning over and putting it the proper way up. “He marked it out for you, see. Here’s the head, here’s a foot . . . . I think this is the heart.” He pauses, “Well maybe this is the heart.”

                You look at him slyly, “You are so full of it, you can’t see it either.” He grins and kisses your nose.

                “The next one will be clearer, once it gets some size.” He says handing it back to you. You stare at it again cocking your head.

                “Like looking at a Rorschach Inkblot.” You say putting it back in the folder they gave you before leaning on the counter as Tom prepares lunch.

                Tom checks his watch, “Your mother’s flight should be getting in soon. Hopefully she’ll have enough time to freshen up before the dinner party tonight.”

                “Oh she’s all excited.” You say with a sigh. He arches a brow hearing the tone in your voice.

                “Everything alright?” He questions.

                “She has to suspect something Tom. Flying her out here at the drop of the hat. She probably thinks we’re getting married.” You say resting your head to your hand leaning your elbow on the counter.

                “You think she’ll be upset at the actual announcement?” He says putting lunch on plates.

                “No. I think she’ll be absolutely over the moon. She’s been holding her breath for a grandchild since I turned 18.” It was true, she’d been dropping hints the size of dog houses on your head the day you graduated high school. “I’m relatively sure she thought I was a lesbian for a good stretch of time because I didn’t really date anyone in college.”

                “Well, then there’s no need to worry is there.” He says with a smile kissing your cheek before putting a plate in front of you sitting down next to you beginning to eat. You pick up your fork poking at your food slightly. “So if there’s no need to worry, why are you worrying?”

                “How is your family going to react? Emma seemed to like me even though I made a complete ass out of myself with Jane at the last dinner party.” You say softly.

                “I think they’ll be just as excited for us. I’m 33 darling, I imagine they were beginning to question my heterosexuality status too.” He admits. You roll your eyes looking at him. Absolutely no one seriously thought he was gay. He grinned knowing you saw through the fact he was just trying to make you feel better.

                The doorbell rings, “Catering staff.” He says wiping his mouth on his napkin before getting up kissing your cheek on the way by. This was so weird. You were sort of from a blue collar background where as Tom’s family was definitely white collar. How could this possibly go south very quickly?
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