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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 2983 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author’s Note: ‘I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?’ - Three Days Grace

Had a few moments where I thought of just stopping this trilogy. But its too far to stop now!

Chapter Six: Band Life

    When Raven woke up, she remembered everything she had done the other day and flushed hotly as mortification began to fill her. The man spooning her inhaled deeply, the arm he had around her waist tightening slightly; as if he could sense her distress. This made her smile slightly as she snuggled back into him. While she wondered just what had come over her, she didn’t regret what had happened. The little show they had given her audience would be a great way to get the word out about her. So, rolling over to face her still sleeping fiance, the former freelancer nuzzled into his bony chest before closing her eyes and going back to sleep.
    A loud knock came from the door what seemed like only a short time later, drawing a low growl from the rocker holding her as his hold became protective. “We’re stopping for some lunch! If you want anything to eat, you need to get your asses up and dressed,” came Pogo’s voice before Manson was tossing one of his boots at the door. When the piece of apparel hit the hard wood, the keyboardist on the other side only cackled before running away.
    “One of these days I’m going to kill him,” the temperamental man hissed, rubbing his naked face before painfully sitting up. As he moved, every bone in his lanky body cracked loudly and he groaned as he stretched.
    “We both know you won’t do that, this band is like a family to you. Besides, I think you kinda like the trouble Gacy seems to cause,” she pointed out, sitting up to find herself completely naked. For just a few seconds, that old fear and shame washed over her but she shook it off with a determined expression. She had no reason to be ashamed of her appearance, that fact having been thoroughly proven to her.
    So, getting to her own feet, she went to her duffel; digging through the bag until she found acceptable clothing. The outfit she chose was a black ‘Marilyn Manson’ t-shirt and a matching pair of jeans. Once that was on, she put on her platform boots and went over to the mirror on her fiance’s side of the room. While he was putting on his make-up, Raven simply put her ebony hair into a messy ponytail. As his eyes landed on her attire in the mirror, he let out a sound that told her he approved of her choice. In a swift motion, he pulled her in front of him; nipping her neck in a possessive manner. “Yeah, you’re right. It almost feels like a comfortable routine to have to beat his ass every once in a while. Still, if he ever kisses you again I’ll have his balls to decorate my rearview mirror,” Manson breathed, his hands settling on her lower belly.
    This action caused a deep sorrow as well as some unknown longing to crash over her in a hard cramp. All of a sudden she felt herself crying silent tears as she leaned her head back into the singer. His masculine scent filled her nose as he made soothing noises, soft kisses moving up from her neck to her cheek as his hands lifted her shirt to rest on the naked skin of her lower stomach; where their child had once been. No words were needed for the pair as his callused hands slowly moved over her skin, his lips landing on her tears. “Come on, let’s get some food in you,” he urged, sliding his hands over her stomach to place them on her waist and steer her in front of him.
    As soon as they left the room, Raven found herself swooped on by Jeordie and Amanda. “You did great Megs!” the journalist gushed, tugging her into a tight hug as the former guitarist joined in. The celebrity behind her only chuckled as he rolled his mismatched eyes, making his way around the small bottleneck.
    “Did you have any doubt that she would be anything but amazing? She’ll have to beat off her fan boys with a stick,” Pogo observed from a chair near the bar the rocker had headed to. Manson, who had been filling a glass with water, tightened his grip at that ‘innocent’ statement and accidentally broke the stout glass; cutting his hand in the process.
    “Marilyn!” Raven gasped, swaying as her squeamishness fought with her need to help her loved one. Ultimately her stomach won and she had to make a run for the bathroom. The singer was about to follow when he was stopped by an amused Amanda.
    “You’ll wanna stop the bleeding and clean up before you go in,” she advised with a grin, gesturing to the blood on the floor as well. The performer blinked in confusion at first, then realization dawned on his make-up coated face.
    Thankfully, Ginger was the resident ‘nurse’ and doctored his hand with ease; John 5 cleaning the carpet with a grimace. That was when the sound of vomiting came from the bathroom and Manson was tearing himself away from his drummer just as the last bit of gauze had been secured. Then he was charging to the bathroom, having horrible flashbacks to the first time they had officially met. By the time he got in there she was finishing up and washing her mouth out. “Ugh,” sighed the shaky female a bit breathlessly, reaching for a toothbrush as Manson came into the room to take her into his arms. Taken off guard, she gasped a bit before she saw who it was in the mirror.
    The fear in his eyes was what got her, his lips landing on her neck as his uninjured hand wrapped around her stomach lightly. “Are you alright? Do you still want something to eat?” he asked gently, his lips never leaving her skin for more than a second.
    “Marilyn...,” she began, smiling slightly to try to reassure him. She only stopped when he gave her neck a light nip.
    “Call me Brian for the moment please?” he asked in a hoarse whisper, his voice still unsteady as the bus came to a stop.
    Stunned by the strange request, she nodded before giving him a few nips under the chin. “I’m fine Brian. In fact I am still very hungry despite the mishap. It happens when I see blood sometimes,” she sighed with a small grimace.
    “Hmmm, I think you told me that at some point. I just want to be sure you’re okay. I don’t know how well I’d handle it if you even so much as got a case of the sniffles at the moment,” he replied, his voice slightly unsteady and vulnerable as he simply held her. The miscarriage still had him shaken up as he had never really gotten the chance to mourn or accept the fact that she was fine.
    Knowing he needed this at the moment, the former artist stayed silent as he cuddled her tightly; the tension in his body gradually fading as his hold loosened. “Let’s get you something to eat,” he murmured, leading her ahead of him with a hand behind her back. Looking back at him, she got the sense this was far from over. She could see the fact he was struggling with his emotions and he was bound to pop at the wrong person if he didn’t find some outlet. Pondering on what she could do to improve the situation, Raven exited the bus and looked up to see they had pulled up at an Arby’s.
    Manson and everyone else waited for her, the singer subtly placing himself between her and everyone else. Sighing and finding herself grateful she didn’t have any fans yet, she walked towards him. If anyone asked for her autograph, she was pretty certain he would rip off their head and skull fuck them. As it was, she would probably lay off tweaking his stage persona any further until they had this problem resolved. She would just be grateful if they could leave the poor fast food joint without causing a huge mess for the employees. The look on Pogo’s face made any hope of that go flying out the window and she followed at as great a distance from them as the goth rocker allowed, dimly wondering if she could get away with pretending she didn’t know them.
    Ordering and getting their food had gone well, the midnight clad femme suspecting that had a lot to do with the little talk her fiance had with the keyboardist off to the side. She had only heard bits and pieces as she waited in line but she had heard enough to get the gist of the conversation. When they had sat down to eat, while ignoring the stares of the patrons around them, things exploded. Raven could see it as it started to happen, reading a certain body language in Madonna Wayne Gacy as he took a bite of his own sandwich. She watched as he got up in what seemed like slow motion, a certain crazed gleam in his brown eyes as he lifted his food above him in both hands almost reverently. Beside her, Manson also began to rise slowly; as if time had slowed down in anticipation of the chaos that was about to be unleashed by one man alone.
    In fact, the rest of the group also stood; Amanda included. While Ginger tried to convince the reporter to sit down, Raven continued to eat her sandwich as she watched slow motion Pogo throw his food at John 5. The cheese sauce he had requested splashed on his face as if it was moving through low gravity, thick globs hitting his right eye and pieces of meat exploding into the air. She could almost swear she could see the ripple of impact on the guitarist’s cheek. Knowing what was about to happen next, the ex-freelancer gathered her food and moved to grab her best friend before she got dragged into the impending doom. As soon as her fingers closed over the bare arm, things snapped back to normal speed in an instant and things escalated quickly from there.
    John 5 went for the mohawked madman just as Manson came up behind him. Still smirking, the keyboardist simply sidestepped at the last second; causing the bleach blonde guitarist to slam into his boss in a full on tackle. While those two struggled to disentangle themselves, Pogo dodged around Twiggy as well as Ginger as he made his way to the counter. The poor employee behind it looked rightfully terrified, her blue eyes wide as the taller musician approached with an expression full of malice. Having seen quite enough and wanting to get out before the real party started, Raven signaled to Jeordie before pulling her protesting friend out of the restaurant. “Trust me, you don’t want to get involved. And even if you did, you could put your unborn baby in danger,” the midnight clad femme reasoned, tugging her gently but firmly toward the tour bus.
    Thankfully her words seemed to do the trick and her normally stubborn companion slumped before following. “You’re right Raven,” she whispered, looking back at the building with concern. A loud crash came from the inside, making both women flinch and universally decide to just keep going.
    “Do ya think Ginger will be okay?” asked the slightly older, shorter woman asked in a strangely vulnerable tone as her childhood companion led her into the looming vehicle.
    “Yeah, Manson won’t let him get too injured when he’s going to be a father. I know it may not seem like it but he’s very protective of his band,” the former artist assured urging the other woman to sit on the couch before going to the bar to get her a glass of water.
    By the time she handed Amanda the glass, a chair smashed out of the window the bus faced. That was when the doors swung open and people flooded out like rats escaping a sinking ship. Feeling her own disquiet fill her, Raven took a seat by her friend and placed an arm around her bony shoulders. That was the first time she really realized just how petite the journalist was. The other female was much thinner, almost to the point of looking a bit underfed. Her hips were also rather small, making the rising singer worry just a bit for her dear acquaintance. Babies could be very big and it would be so hard for the writer to give birth when it came time. “So, you and Ging never went on a honeymoon,” the worried, black clad twenty-nine year old pointed out, hoping to take her mind off the current route her thoughts were taking.
    “Heh, yeah. We were planning on going before the whole miscarriage happened. After, he was gone and then I found out I was pregnant. On top of that, your first tour was going to happen. There was no way in Hell I was going to miss that,” the curly haired thirty year old giggled, looking grateful for the distraction herself.
    “You didn’t have to put off something like that for me,” Raven whispered, pursing her black lips as slight guilt wrapped its way around her heart.
    “I wanted to. We’ve been friends since kindergarten, almost like sisters in a way. Besides, you would have done the same for me,” the curly haired woman pointed out, jumping slightly when Tim burst into the bus suddenly.
    The normally placid Swede looked downright pissed, one of his eyes sporting a rather nasty shiner. His lower lip was also split, blood dribbling onto his make-up coated chin as he stomped into the vehicle. His normally perfect hair was mussed and hanging in his left eye and a muscle ticked busily in his jaw as he made his way to the bar. Without a word to either woman, he took a shot of whiskey; shuddering hard as a large commotion began to approach the RV-like vehicle. “Stay back,” hissed the taller man in a thickly accented voice, his one good eye burning with a deep rage as Ginger stumbled in first. The unfortunate drummer landed face-first on the carpet before he was back on his feet, looking a bit more battered than the bassist.
    “Ging!” Amanda gasped, moving to get to her feet before her longtime companion stopped her with a hand on her wrist. Looking down, she saw Raven give a sharp shake of her head.
    Giving his wife the same look, the bleach blonde turned back around to motion to the others outside. There were so many voices yelling, it was hard to tell who was saying what; Jeordie coming on first with a strained expression on his brown skinned face. It looked like he was wrestling with something outside and he had his booted feet braced on the steps as he gritted his teeth. The pink dress he had worn was torn as well as smeared with Lord only knew what, some of it even in his dreadlocked hair as he gave a curt nod to the others that were still out of sight. “Give him a hard push, I’m ready,” he shouted over the din of commotion.
    With a surge he moved backward as the tip of a mohawk and a bit of John 5 came in. “Should I come in first?’ asked the guitarist in a breathless voice.
    “Yeah, go ahead and get into position,” Twiggy huffed, his lightly muscled arms shaking with effort. This was followed by a series of groans and shuffling noises as the weary guitarist slowly came into view at a lower position than Jeordie. The prissy man looked just as battered as the others and just as pissed.
    “You ready Manson?” the former band member on the top of the steps gritted out, still keeping tension on what could only be a still struggling Pogo.
    “Yeah, hurry it the fuck up! He’s fighting worse than a catfish,” came the heated, muffled voice of the band leader.
    “Alright, I’m going to count to three and me and John here are gonna pull at the same time. Manny, I want you to push as hard as ya can. If we get him in, for fuck sake shut the damn door!” ordered the determined former musician. Then he began to count, the two of them Raven could see surging as one.
    As if like a cork from a champagne bottle, Pogo came flying into the bus from the combined efforts of the three men. Unfortunately for the ever unlucky Ginger, the keyboardist rammed right into him; ending up with both men as a tangled heap on the floor. Manson came in soon after, closing and locking the door behind him. He then tossed the keys to a still pissed looking Tim and gave a nod. “Get us out of here. The owners promised not to call the police if we left immediately,” the rocker snarled as the giggling terror pulled himself loose of the groaning musician under him. Then the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ was stomping toward him, his hands curling into tight fists as he ground his teeth together. Not wanting another fight, Raven moved to grab his arm; not noticing that Amanda had gotten up at the same time to help her husband.
    Thankfully Tim nodded before heading to the driver’s seat, giving Pogo a sharp boot to the ribs on his way by. Letting out a groan of pain that was laced with laughter, the insane male began to roll around as the drummer he had plowed over was pulled to his feet. “Gacy, why do you do the things you do?” the curly haired journalist sighed as she helped Ginger up and steadied him. Pogo only shrugged, giving a quirked smile before springing up gracefully.
    “I like to make things a bit more interesting,” he purred, looking far too satisfied with himself.
    Manson, who had just been convinced to sit on the couch; almost hopped to his feet from that remark alone. It was only his fiance that stopped him, her hand on his wrist as she quietly pleaded with him to just sit down. Breathing slowly through his nose, the irritated rocker sat down and pinched the bridge of said appendage. It was then the bus came to life and began to move, the injured members grabbing ice to nurse their war wounds. That was when Raven took the opportunity to examine the man next to her, surprised when he only sported a few shallow cuts as well as light bruises. Not even his short cropped hair was out of place. The rest of his band wasn’t so lucky, Amanda tending to Ginger’s injuries while Twiggy got the rest.
    Just happy the performer was okay, the former freelancer leaned into his side for a moment. Then she was thinking about what had happened earlier when she had gotten out of the bus and she pursed her lips. Getting to her feet, she went to the bedroom; knowing full well he would follow close behind. Sure enough, she heard the sound of platforms behind her and she smile slightly despite the somberness of her plans. Come Hell or highwater, they were going to reconcile the death of their child together and mourn. It was probably a bad idea to do this a matter of hours before a concert but she just didn’t see any other way if she wanted to avoid a possible incidence of Manson blowing up at a fan.
    Once inside the room they shared, the rising star turned to face her famous lover; giving him a reassuring smile first thing. The tension he seemed to hold instantly melted for confusion and he tilted his head to the side as his mismatched eyes locked with her hazel ones. Reaching up for him, she closed the distance and cupped his make-up coated cheek as she gave him an apologetic look. “We never mourned the loss of our child or even really talked about it since you came home,” she whispered, her heart aching when he flinched as if struck and pulled away from her. Whirling on his heel, he went to his dresser; gripping the lip of the top as he seemed to try to keep control over himself.
    “Please, don’t do this,” he pleaded, his baritone strained as his thin body began to shake. He had no idea just how much she wished she could comply with his request.
    “We have to address this Mare. You’re obviously still hurting and so am I if I’m honest. I never got to really reconcile the fact that you didn’t blame me for the miscarriage. Nor did we get a chance to mourn together and it shows that you haven’t had an outlet. If a fan so much as comes to me to ask for the time, you’re gonna rip them a new asshole,” she pointed out, staying where she was despite her extreme urge to close the distance and offer him any kind of comfort.
    Before they could move on, they would have to endure the explosiveness of his defensive temper. She had been with him long enough to know that his normal response to any emotional distress was a lash out of anger in an attempt to circumvent the pain. It was a deeply ingrained behavior and one she was currently bracing for. In fact, she even moved to lock the door; ensuring they wouldn’t be interrupted. He would scream, he would say horrible things, he would even throw things in her general direction but he wouldn’t hurt her. Right now, she had to be strong and weather what was going to be a very bad storm to help the man she loved.
    Instead of any of that, the man in front of her shook his head as his tattooed shoulders slumped. Then his head was slowly turning so he was looking at her out of the corner of his left, whitish-blue eye, the slightly smaller pupil fixed on her. “You’re right but... It isn’t just that you lost that baby, as heartless as it sounds. It was that... I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. You could have died if Amanda or Johnny hadn’t been there to get you to a hospital. On top of that, I said such a horrible thing to you when you were already eaten up by guilt. I couldn’t control myself and had to leave you at your most vulnerable. We both know what you do if pushed to an extreme,” he whispered, his soft voice slightly muffled by his decorated arm; a hard shudder running through his body as if he had been electrocuted.
    “It was torture to know you needed me to protect you and all I could do was hurt you more. I don’t... I can’t go through that again. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to stay in control,” he confessed, the small glimpse of his face that she was getting letting her see just how afraid he was.
    All at once, any lingering, buried anger or hurt she had from his actions was gone. He truly hadn’t been in control of what had come out of his mouth and he was terrified he would end up doing it again. “I... I know what I’m in for and that you don’t mean it. We have to get through this,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on his despite her heart racing. The taller man turned to fully face her, every muscle in his body tense as his hands twitched by his sides.
    “I... will do my best to stay rational...,” he whispered, a muscle already twitching in his right cheek.
    Clearing her throat, Raven shifted uncomfortably as she licked her lips. So far things had gone so smoothly but she had some serious doubts about how he was going to handle what was going to come next. “First, you have to allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with both the loss as well as our temporary separation,” she advised meekly. The performer stiffened for a brief moment before a tortured expression came over his face.
    “I don’t know how,” he confessed, a slight snappiness to his response and his jaw tensed ever so subtly. Raven could only blink, wondering how she could help him.
    “Just.. let go, let whatever you’re feeling come,” she replied, watching as he began to pace. His long limbs began to shake as his breathing sped up, one of his hands flying to the fringe of hair on the top of his head.
    Making a strange noise in his chest, he seemed to look around for something, anything to take his mind off what was happening. “Don’t run from it, these emotions are nothing to be afraid of,” Raven encouraged, flinching when he whirled on her with blazing eyes. It was now his stage persona that was glaring at her, a deep anger in his mismatched eyes. Yet under that anger, there was more hurt than she could ever fathom. Sneering at her, Manson opened his mouth before just the briefest glimmer of hesitation crossed over his painted visage. That moment was just enough to shatter his wall and he was slipping to his knees as he began to let out gut-wrenching sobs.
    His thin body shook from the force of it, his hands coming up to cover his face as he began to rock back and forth. In seconds, she was there; wrapping him into a hug as she began to pet his hair gently. To her shock, he flung his bony arms around her to burrow himself into her; as if hoping she would protect him. Repositioning so he was cradled into her as best as she could get him, she placed her forehead against his as she stroked his greasepaint covered cheek; closing her own eyes as her emotions overtook her. Soon they were openly sharing eachother’s agony, soft crying filling the room as they rocked.
    After what seemed like an eternity, their sobs tapered off to a sad silence; both having spent all the tears they could. Giving a shuddering sigh, Manson looked up at her with tears rimming his mismatched eyes; reaching up to pull her into an almost desperate kiss. It was seeking both comfort as well as a return of mutual lust, something she gave with gusto as she moaned into his hot mouth. Tongues danced as he slowly straightened, taking the much more familiar role of being the one to give comfort as he pulled her into a loose but needy embrace. “I love you,” he sighed, only breaking the kiss enough to whisper that against her lips.
    “I love you too,” she murmured, relieved tears pricking her eyes as something in her heart loosened. They had just gotten through something rather major without a blow-up or him rushing to get as drunk as he could. She was both proud of him and very happy that nothing had happened to cause more drama.
    “I want to set a date for the wedding,” he continued, his soft, but urgent words making her heart skip a beat.
    Was he really asking what she thought he was? While they were engaged, actual marriage was another thing entirely. Getting married held a certain finality that made her feel a bit faint. Was the man who had haunted her fantasies for so long really willing to spend the rest of his life with her? “I’m tired of waiting for something I already know I want with all of my heart. We don’t have to discuss it now but I would like to lay out plans sooner rather than later, in case you want a certain date,” he explained, his arms trembling lightly as he trailed his lips slowly up to rest on her forehead.
    “Halloween, I’ve always wanted to get married on Halloween,” she blurted, feeling her cheeks flush as he stilled.
    It didn’t help when he began to chuckle, cuddling her close as he pet her hair. “That sounds perfect for the both of us,” hummed the singer, slowly getting to his feet to release her and go to the bathroom to wash his make-up off. Not wanting to go back out into the main bus just yet, Raven sat on the bed to wait for him; picking up Kathy with a small smile. When he came back in the room, he was naked and had a weary expression on his paper white face. Even his left contact was out, making both eyes a gentle brown. “We have a few hours before our next stop, want to take a nap?” he whispered, seeming almost timid as he stayed where he was.
    “Yeah, we could both use one. Just, don’t be afraid to come to me if you need to go off for a bit. I know neither of us are done crying our tears over this but I think we can get through this,” Raven whispered, laying on the bed and placing her stuffed dog between them as he followed suit and swept her into his arms.
    “I think you might be right,” rasped his drowsy voice, his hands petting her as they both slipped into a comfortable sleep.
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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell