Flying With Eagles | By : Zar Category: Individual Celebrities > Orlando Bloom Views: 10191 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Orlando Bloom. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Flying with Eagles
Author: Zar
Email: squishypiglet@hotmail.co.uk
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/squishypiglet/
Warnings: This is slash. Don't like it? Don't read it!
Pairings: Viggorli with special guest Eric Bana.
Disclaimer: This is not true, despite all my wishes.
Summary: The little pills aren’t the only things to change their lives…
A/N: I think first and foremost, I am going to have to offer cookies to anyone still reading. It's been over a year (a year!!) since I last posted, and though I haven't given up on this story yet, I can imagine most readers would have. I started this story almost four years ago now, and I can't imagine just letting it go before Orlando and Viggo's story has been told so I'll persevere, however long it takes!
It was my birthday two weeks ago, and that was when I tried to start writing again, but I was so rusty from not having written in so long, it really took two weeks to force this chapter out. Hopefully, the next ones won't be so difficult once I am back 'in the swing'!
This is written for my Nita (I will indeed be in HK this Christmas!!), and my Shui who remembered my birthday when everyone else was too busy to celebrate with me. And my sweetie who nudged me and got me moving again when I didn't think I could anymore. I have thought of all of you often while writing this and I hope you won't be disappointed. *Big hug*
Chapter 59
I can finally show Orlando how much I love him.
We can finally physically express our love for each other.
These are all the thoughts running, racing and rushing through my mind as I make my way home.
We can finally break down that last wall between us.
Nothing can stop us from being one tonight.
Giving Tooters a cursory good bye pat on her dashboard, I hop out excitedly.
Orlando is going to be so thrilled.
I can only imagine the look on Leopard-Man’s face as he realises I’ve done something he never could for Orlando.
I am fairly vibrating as I convince my shaky hands to fumble the front door open, all while carefully keeping the bottle of pills tucked under my arm. As the door reluctantly swings open, I immediately begin searching for my god.
“Orlando! You won’t believe this!”
Quick sweep of the living room. No handsome young man waiting to greet me with open arms.
“Orlando? I am home!”
Quick scan of the kitchen. No curly-haired boy waiting with a kiss.
Where has that boy gone? He won’t believe the news.
“Muffin! I am back, and I’ve got a surprise for you…!”
Quick glance onto the balcony. No handsome gentleman waiting to adore me.
“You’ve got to hear my news, Orlando!”
Silence.
Hmm.
With eyebrow arched, that leaves only one more target…
“Gotcha!” I growl triumphantly as I burst into our bedroom.
Only to face an empty room with no young god to brighten it.
Oh.
Slightly confused, I duck my head into the bathroom to take a look, just in case. No one there either.
I deflate just a little, and stoically make my way back to the bedroom.
Where could he have gone? He knows how dangerous it is for him to go out alone, without me or Kurt in case something happens. This would have been the first time he’s gone out alone since The Night of the Seizure, and I can feel my heart rate speed up as realisation sinks in.
He didn’t take his pills today.
He had run out of these seemingly innocent little capsules.
I was holding them.
All the adrenaline and excitement I had built up on the drive back suddenly hit me at once, and with a frustrated growl, I hurl the little plastic container as hard as I can away from me, only to take morbid delight in the way the bottle explodes and scatter the little fragments that dictated Orlando’s relationship with me, all over the floor.
~~~
Looking back at this moment in later months, I am able to rationalise my actions – I had been agitated that Orlando wasn’t there to share in the huge breakthrough to our relationship and had left the house though he knew I would be worried. There was also still the lingering unease and helplessness from the confrontation with Dr Burke (if he could still be called a doctor!). And on top of all that, there was excitement, and perhaps, a little trepidation from the thought that maybe, just maybe, tonight would be the night my god and I could…be together.
And honestly? That thought scared me too – we’d put it off for so long, that he must have high expectations now…and it’d be my first time with another man. Would I be able to satisfy him? I don’t even know what to do! Would he think any differently of me? What would he expect from me? Should I lead? Or let him dictate the pace he wants to go at? What should I do to make it good for him? I don’t even know what defines ‘good’!
And I could only imagine the guilt and anguish Leopard-Man would go through when he realises that the ‘specialist’ doctor he had gone to the trouble of finding had been doing more harm than good. That despite all the love he has for his ‘baby brother’…he had indirectly contributed to my god’s feeling of uselessness and impotence for so long.
With all these questions and emotions running through me, and the fact that I had kept all my emotions under tight rein since Orlando’s hospital visit to not worry him, it seemed almost inevitable that at some point, I was going to crash, and crash hard.
It didn’t take long for guilt to set in as I stood there, chest heaving as I struggled to control my emotions and harsh breathing.
Repentantly, I cleaned up the mess.
If only other areas of my life were that easy rationalise, sort and pack into a neat little ziploc bag.
~~~
“You’re back.”
Orlando looks startled as his head jerks over in response to my comment as he closes the front door.
“Hi Viggo…”
I am giving the impression of lounging nonchalantly on the couch, though the fact that I am sitting in the dark implies that I am not just having a typical relaxing evening. I had just been sitting there waiting for Orlando since the afternoon, and hadn’t bothered to get up to turn on the lights as night progressed. It makes for a dramatic setting to greet him in, which was not what I had been intending at all, though it was a relief to see that my god actually cared about how I felt about his disappearing act.
Focusing back on Orlando, I make an attempt to take a deep breath before talking.
“Where have you – wait. Let me start again. Do you know what time it is?”
He shifts uncomfortably as he edges closer.
“Sorry…were you waiting for me? I thought I’d be back earlier, but it took longer than I expected…” he begins to ramble.
Of course I was waiting for him. What did he think I was doing?
“What took longer? And why weren’t you answering your mobile?”
I get up and stalk over to his side, and even though I am annoyed, I think after the third hour of waiting for him, there had been a distinct change from anger to fear and worry, especially when his phone went straight to voicemail. And no one, not even Kurt had heard from him.
“I had to turn it off. I am sorry, I should have left a message or note for you - ”
“No,” I cut in sarcastically, “of course you didn’t have to. Since I wasn’t expecting you to leave the house today, didn’t know where you were, knew you hadn’t taken your pills today…why would that give me any reason to worry?”
He winces at my words and it immediately shakes me out of whatever anger I had left. Wrapping my arms around him, I squeeze my god tightly to my heart and try to impart a little of the anxiety I had been put through that afternoon.
“Of course I was worried,” I gently chide, “I love you, and you hadn’t taken your medication yet today. Then you go out without telling me. And no one knew where you were, and I couldn’t contact you.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbles, clutching me as tightly as I am holding onto him.
He feels chilled from the outdoors, though it makes me smile when I feel his cold nose nuzzle into my neck, seeking my warmth. His curls are disarrayed in their familiar tangle and I can imagine Johnson being squashed under my chin.
He’s repeatedly mumbling something into my shoulder, but it’s not worth letting go of him to hear words, so I just let his voice wash over and warm me. I think he’s trying to apologise, tell me how sorry he is.
He’s slowly warming up, and reluctantly, I release him, only to capture his hand and place a kiss on its palm.
“You’re freezing. I’ll get you a hot drink. You sit down.”
As I go into the kitchen, I catch a glimpse of him plopping down and busying himself trying to untangle his scarf from around his neck while wrestling his coat off.
I was still staring at the milk in the pan and trying to glare it into heating quicker when I hear him pad up behind me.
“What’s this, Viggo?”
Clutched in his hand, is the plastic baggy I had left on the coffee table.
In all the rush of him coming home, I had almost forgotten my news.
Turning the heat off the pan, I forget about the milk and immediately turn to my angel.
“I have big, amazing, huge news to tell you!”
He laughs delightedly at my enthusiasm. “What what? What happened?”
I poke at the baggy of pills. “These little fellows are going to change your – our lives,” I correct.
“Tell me! What are they?” he demands, looking confusedly from my face down and then back up again. I hoist my god up onto the kitchen counter, and smile widely at him.
“You remember Dr Burke…”
~~~
I knew something wasn’t quite right from the moment I told him my revelation.
“Muffin?”
He keeps his head down but even without seeing it, I knew he had furrowed his brow in that way he does when he’s anxious.
I think he’s muttering something, but I am not sure what.
“Muffin?” I repeat, ducking my head and trying to peer at his face, wanting to read his expression.
The hand I am clutching between my own is trying to wriggle away but I refuse to let him go.
“What’s wrong,” I coax, “I thought you’d be delighted to hear the news. Do you not want to…be with me?” It’s difficult to try and keep the hurt from seeping into my tone.
I really can’t understand his reaction and how it is so drastically different to mine – traces of the euphoria I had felt when I had first discovered the news still linger when I think of us finally being able to make love.
What is he thinking?
He doesn’t have another chance to reply before I tilt his head up slightly, to angle it just perfectly to brush our lips together. It’s a soft touch, meant to reassure him, and he slowly relaxes as I keep the pressure light and fleeting, occasionally moving away from his mouth to flutter over his high cheekbones, across the bridge of his nose to give the other cheek the same delicate treatment.
It’s obvious he wants more kisses though as he tries to chase my mouth, and it lightens my heart to hear him giggle when he misses and swipes a kiss at my chin.
“You’re being silly,” he whispers.
“We’re both silly,” I murmur, giving in and letting him have his proper kiss. We take our time exploring each other, his hands having somehow found their way around my waist and I am pulled between his legs. I break the kiss off gently and lean our foreheads together so we’re staring at each other. “You want to tell me what’s wrong, Muffin?” I prompt quietly.
He wrinkles his nose in thought. “It’s stupid.”
“Tell me,” I urge.
“I just…I feel stupid.”
I wasn’t expecting that response from him. Keeping my eyes focused on him, I silently give him time to pull his thoughts together, and my patience soon pays off.
“I…it’s stupid because…well.” The little baggy is thrust into my face again. “These stupid little things could have put you out of your…frustration ages ago! Months ago! And Eric! Poor Eric. We could never have sex because stupid Orlando couldn’t get it up,” his voice is taking on a sarcastic mocking tone and I hold him tighter as he builds up to a rant, “and everyone around the stupid little boy has to suffer. When all it took were these little pills! I can’t ever do anything right. I can’t give you, the man I love, what you want…I make you suffer! I didn’t know enough about my stupid epilepsy to know what pills to take, I try to seduce you anyway and end up in hospital for not taking my meds, and, and…” he takes in a deep breath to continue his tirade. “And I can’t do anything right. It’s always helpless stupid stupid stupid Orlando who needs saving. Always other people who have to get me out of my mess-ups.”
I give him a little shake. “Hey…don’t say things like that. You know that’s not what I think, and I can assure you that’s not what your ‘big brother’ thinks either.”
My god doesn’t respond. He keeps his gaze down, shifting the pills restlessly around inside the baggy.
“Orlando. Muffin.” I don’t give up until he meets my gaze. “You’re not stupid. And you’re not impotent. You had a medical condition and your doctor took advantage of it, and of you. None of this is your fault – ”
“But if I had checked the pills – ”
I shush him. “No, this isn’t your fault. How could you have known? Besides, you know I don’t think you’re stupid. Would I be in love with a stupid man? Do you think I have no taste whatsoever?”
I nudge him till he sulkily shakes his head.
“There you go then. And if you think I’ve been suffering by being with you…you’d be correct, Orlando.”
He drops the baggy in surprise to hear me admit that, and I try to contain my smirk.
“Oh, I’ve really been suffering. Suffering from getting stitches in my side from laughing too much when I am with a certain handsome young man. Suffering from being too loved. Suffering – ”
He’s trying to manfully hold onto his giggles. “You’re being silly again, Viggo.” Slightly against his will, I imagine, his eyes are straying down to the floor at the innocuous pills. “Do you think those pills are actually going to work?” he asks tentatively, suddenly serious again.
“I don’t know, muffin. We’ll try them and see what happens. If not, your new doctor has assured me there are other things we can try, until we find the right one for you. We’ll get through this.”
He’s petting my hair, all the while with a small smile on his face. “I am just a little scared to believe it. It seems like such an easy fantastical solution to a problem that has plagued me almost all of my adult life. And you’re offering me something that can magically remove it? It’s just…too good to be true.”
It’s not hard to imagine how he’s feeling, and it breaks my heart that such a perfect man had had to go through such a difficult trial at a young age and it made me more determined than ever to try my best to make things easier for him.
“I love you, you know,” he tells me, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“I love you too.”
“And we’ll get through this, yes?”
“Yes. You’re going to find the right magic pill that’s not too hot, and not too cold, but just right, and we’ll make love all the time. Till I suffer from that too, though I doubt that would ever happen. Sounds perfect, hmm, muffin?”
“Almost.” You won’t believe me, but I swear I can ‘hear’ when he’s smiling, and he’s definitely grinning now.
“Almost?”
“I didn’t tell you where I went today…”
That’s right… “Where did you go?” I ask, expecting him to say bookshop, “Some Like it Hot” coffee shop…
“Audition.”
That gets my attention. “Audition? What for?”
This time I can definitely see the grin.
“Have you heard of a book called the ‘Lord of the Rings’…?”
TBC...
I know this isn't my best work, but I am trying to ease back into writing. It may not be up to your expectations, especially after such a long wait, in which case, consider it a stepping stone to move the story into more interesting pastures while I try to regain my footing.
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