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Forbidden	By : Firithfalaswen Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1324 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Panic! At the Disco. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 7

Sunny’s POV

I woke up with a shudder at feeling a cold air hitting my back. I didn’t dare opening my eyes, but I knew Ryan was getting off the bed. I forced my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep as I felt him pulls the covers over my bare back and go through the room looking for clothes. Then he stopped and sighed and I had to hold my breath till he silently left the room.

What the fuck have we done?

I love him. I love him so fucking much. But I know he doesn’t feel the same. He doesn’t even like girls! I sat up on the bed and ran a hand through my hair, looking at the clock on the desk it was no point on getting up for class right now. So I slid out of bed and gathered my clothes while I heard Ryan in the shower and changed his sheets. Then quietly I sneaked out of his room and into mine, got my pjs on and crawled under my sheets. I sill had a fucking headache, but I wasn’t getting out of that room unless it was extremely necessary. After making sure Ryan was in his room, I rushed to the kitchen to get a coke and something to eat. I was in the middle of cooking, not really paying attention to anything and just reliving the night before in my head, when I was startled.

“Hey.” Ryan’s plain voice came from the kitchen table. I turned a little and got back immediately to stirring the pot.

“Hi.”

“What’s for lunch?” He asked casually.

“Rice with burgers.” I answered casually.

We both were really good at pretending things didn’t happen and we both knew that, so we never even tried to hide it from one another. But this time I think we both tacitly agreed on not discussing it and so we settled on this pretending of life’s okay. I left the rice to cook and got the burgers in the oven.

“I’m going to shower.”

“I’ll go to the store, want tomatoes again?”

“Sure.” I smiled a little, avoiding looking him into the eyes. He nodded and grabbed his keys making his way out of the house.

I showered, scrubbing all my body trying to get rid of him, of his smell, his sheets, his warmth, his skin… everything. But I knew it was nearly impossible. The night before wouldn’t be going away anytime soon and we’d have to deal with it sooner or later. I was back in my room, getting some clothes and about to check the kitchen when my cell phone went off. It was Spencer.

“Hey, Spencer. What’s up?” I said walking back to the kitchen and checking on the rice.

“Just checking… you skipped class this morning. You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that Ryan’s broken heart had us drinking till 4 am maybe, so I woke up around noon.” I chuckled and Spencer giggled at the other side of the phone. At the same time, Ryan re-arrived and started chopping the tomatoes on the counter.

“Aaw, I better let you sleep it out then.”

“Yeah, I still need some sleep to make it up for last night.” I said this shooting a glance at Ryan, who was looking back and shrugged.

“Oh, well. We don’t have classes together the rest of the week, so…” He started sounding kind of shy. It was adorable and it made me smile. “I mean, wanna go out on Saturday?”

“Another party?” I asked still with the stupid grin on my face.

“No, not like that… just… you know. The two of us.” I grinned even wider.

“Mr. Smith, are you asking me on a date?” I leaned on the counter still grinning, not even registering the clank of a knife on the ground in my brain.

“Maybe… are you saying yes?” We both giggled.

“Maybe…” I said biting my lip.

“Okay, then maybe I’ll pick you up at 5 on Saturday?”

“Yeah, maybe.” I was nearly squealing by now, but it would have been embarrassing to do it while still on the phone, so I held back.

“Okay then. I’ll see you around. And have a nice hangover.”

“I’m pretty sure I will. See you.”

Now I squealed, at shutting the phone down and made a little victory dance, getting my attention back to the rice which was ready. I was mentally deciding what to wear when Ryan cleared his throat. Suddenly my throat was really, really dry and my stomach shrunk to the size of a peanut.

“So, a date, huh?” He said putting the tomatoes on a bowl on the table. “Finally?”

“Yeah.” I answered, trying to sound normal. “Finally!” I didn’t look at him and focused on getting the plates served, getting the burgers from the oven and basically anything that would keep me from looking at Ryan. He got the coke from the fridge and sat on the table.

“Sunny.” He said as I still fumbled around. I placed his meal in front of him and he grabbed my wrist. “We can’t…”

“I know.” I said as he let me go. I rubbed my eyes and settled on the table, picking at my food.

“I’m…” He started with a sigh. I didn’t say anything and just waited for him to go on. “I won’t say I’m sorry for what happened last night, cause I’m not.” I nodded.

“I’m not sorry either. I just don’t want things to change between us.” Lie. I wanted him to change for me, I wanted a relationship and the happy ending. But I couldn’t tell him that, it wasn’t going to happen, and now I had a chance of something real with someone real.

“I don’t want that either.” Ryan reached over the table and covered my hand with his. “I wasn’t lying, Sun. I do love you and I don’t wanna ruin anything. Besides…” He added with a half smile. “It seems to me you have a boyfriend now.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend… yet…” Slowly Ryan entangled his fingers with mine and we were finally able to look at each other.

“I actually thought you were already with him.”

“That would’ve been a low blow if I agreed to whatever happened last night, don’t you think?”

Ryan chuckled. “You’re right.” Silence and a sigh.

“Now we have to find a new boyfriend for you!” I said half joking; Ryan looked down and sighed again. “Or you want your old one back?” He nodded. “Then we’ll have to work on that.”

We spent the rest of our lunch pretty much in silence, once in a while we’d say something stupid or we’d throw napkins at each other. I couldn’t stop the memories from coming though, the night before playing clear and neat inside my head over and over again. After washing the dishes I went to lay down to sleep the rest of the hangover, still thinking about last night. At least until the gentle buzz of my phone alerted me of a message. I smiled at reading Spencer’s text from a boring language class.

Then Ryan started playing guitar in the next room and I gripped my phone, biting my lip.

I knew I wasn’t over him, but I was going to pretend I was anyways.
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