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Blurry Days	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2083 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Author’s note: Thank you Leppgirl and Kimane for your reviews and comments ^^ It means a lot to me when other people love this as much as I do ^^ *hugs* ^^

CHAPTER 7

So this was his good news?

I’m speechless. I came here to tell him I found him a job and he beats me and tells me good news himself.

“Shinya, I know it’s unexpected for you, but I have been thinking about this for a long time! It’s the best news ever since the day Kyo was found! You don’t know how happy I am!”

I just stare at him. Is he really not joking?

“But Kaoru… It’s… Don’t you think it’s…”

“Shinya, it’s the best news ever!”

I stand up not really thinking about it and go up by the window. Kaoru falls silent, seeing as I don’t jump from joy at hearing the news.

“What’s your problem, Shinya?”

His voice now sounds a bit irritated.

“How is it even possible? Legally, I mean?”

I still don’t look at him, instead my gaze drops down on the people in the street, hurrying back home after their day of work.

“Kyo’s parents will sign papers that will make me Kyo’s official custodian.”

“Kyo’s parents? Really?”

I have a hard time imagining how Kaoru succeeded in convincing them.

“Well, actually I haven’t even met them after that first week when Kyo reappeared. His sister did all the persuading. I asked her help and she thought it through and agreed to help me. She is close with her mother, so first of all she did her best at convincing her mother that it would be best for her son. And when her mother finally gave in, they both then talked to his father. All of it took quite a lot of time, but finally he agreed as well. Kyo’s sister is helping me to prepare all the necessary documents with my lawyer and the parents are coming on Friday to just sign them. If all goes well, Kyo should be here with me already on Friday this week.”

I’m again at a loss for words. I’ve never seen it coming. Kaoru never even mentioned he had an idea like this.

“When did you think of it?”

“Actually, quite a long time ago. In April.”

“April?” I can’t help but turn to look at him in surprise. “It’s almost Christmas now!”

“I know. Kyo’s parents were very reluctant and didn’t want to yield very easily.”

He’s been thinking about it since April?

“Kaoru, what are you doing?”

He looks at me a bit taken aback. He’s not really sure what I’m asking, I guess.

“Kaoru, why are you doing this? Why are you sacrificing your whole life? Kyo is fine where he is! Do you really think you know better how to treat him than doctors, who’ve been doing this job for all their lives?! Kaoru, Kyo’s not starving, he’s not being hurt by them! He’s being taken care of by professionals! Why do you think you can do it better than them?”

I see his eyes darken with every sentence I say, but he doesn’t get angry. Perhaps he expected to receive a reaction like this from me.

“Shinya, it’s almost a year since Kyo is back. Have you seen him lately? Can you tell me what kind of improvement in his state the doctors achieved? Well I tell you – none whatsoever! He’s still the same, if not worse!”

“And you think you take him home with yourself and after a week he will miraculously get well, confess his eternal love for you and you’ll live happily ever after?!”

I see how much pain these words cause him, but I need to make him see reason. He can’t behave like an irresponsible teenager. I know his intentions are good, but he’d be sacrificing too much. He’s already sacrificed too much for Kyo. He has to start living his own life.

“It would be wishful thinking... to hope for that… I know life is far from a fairytale, Shinya. But you can’t know if it helps or not unless you try. And I really believe Kyo needs much more care and attention than he gets there. For God’s sake, he doesn’t even know how to use toilet up until now! Who could ever get better living like this?!”

“Kaoru, don’t you think it’s Kyo’s parents’ responsibility to take care of their son? Why do you think you’re better than anyone else? Why do you think only you can take care of Kyo so much better than professional doctors?”

“Because I’m the only one who still really cares! And if it sounds like I’m so full of myself, I don’t care! Only me and his sister still care about him! So we have a right to decide what’s best for him!”

“And how do you intend to go on with your life without working? To support Kyo financially you’ll need a lot of money throughout the years!”

“Kyo’s parents will inscribe me with a monthly allowance of 25000 yen from his account as I’ll be his legal guardian. It’s not a lot, but it will be more than enough for Kyo’s monthly ration of food and medicine. I can buy everything else he needs, no problems there!”

“Really? And for how long you intend to do this?”

“For as long as it takes him to get well!”

“And what if he doesn’t get well after 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? How will you support yourself and him without any job and any perspectives? It’s not too much time after we disbanded and people still remember you, recognize you as a very good guitarist and composer. Tell me, what will they say about you after 10 years? Nothing! Because they won’t even remember your name! And what job will you get then? A cashier in a supermarket?”

“So what are you saying? To just leave Kyo and forget all about him? Let him rot in that horrid, depressing place?!”

“Let him live the way he is now and finally let go! Kaoru, what you want to do is extremely noble, but it won’t bring anything good, for any of you!”

“You’re wrong, Shinya. If it won’t bring anything good for me, then it will surely be good for Kyo. It will be so much better for him to live with me than in that place!”

“Ok, perhaps you’re right on this. But what will become of Kyo when you’ll get tired? Will you just put him back in an institution again? Do you think it will do much good to him then?”

“I will never abandon him, Shinya. I have made up my mind and it’s final. I’m taking Kyo home with me.”

I sight and sit down on the chair nearest to me. It’s pointless to argue with him. He’s really not going to budge.

“At least take up the job I came here to offer” I ask silently, not able to fight with him anymore.

“What job? What are you talking about?”

Oh yeah, I haven’t even had the chance to tell him.

“Yoshiki-san is going to take up a new band to produce and he needs help. He would like you to write music for the band.”

“I won’t have time for any of…”

“Kaoru, please, be reasonable!” I interrupt him, my patience already running out. “I’ll talk to Yoshiki-san, ask him to let you work at home and show up only from time to time to bring what you would come up with. You must agree with me, Kaoru, it would be the perfect job for you!”

“Maybe, but I don’t have time for that now.”

“No, you do! Just agree! I’ll talk to Yoshiki-san and let you know if he’s ok with you working at home. I’ll let you know what he’ll say. But I’m almost sure he’ll say yes. And then you’ll have to take up the job!”

“Shinya, I really appreciate your effort, but…”

“Please” I interrupt him. I need to make him understand. I’m only doing what’s best for him. “Please, just think about it. You’ll understand that it’s really the best in your current situation.”

Finally Kaoru nods slowly and sights.

“I’ll think later, but not know. Now all I care about is for the legal things to be settled as soon as possible.”

I nod. It’s the closest to ‘yes’ that I have gotten out of him. I’ll have to live with that for now.

“What did your parents think about you taking Kyo home?”

“They are against it.”

Of course they are. I don’t think they’ve even met Kyo at all before he disappeared.

“But they know I won’t change my mind.”

Finally I really look into his eyes and smile a bit. Kaoru looks a bit tired, but his eyes shine with happiness.

“I’m sorry if I’m being cruel with you, Kaoru, but I’m only saying what I think. And I really want you to be happy, Kaoru. You’re a very dear friend to me…”

He smiles and I know at that moment that he’s not angry with me.

“I’m already used to a reaction like this, Shin-chan. Believe me. I had the hardest conversation in my life with my parents. Everyone else except me and Kyo’s sister think it’s madness. But Shinya, I’m only doing this because I love him. I don’t want him to suffer more than he already suffered when he was gone. The things he must have been forced to go through… I want to make it up to him, I want to bring back at least the smallest part of the real Kyo we all knew.”

And I hope you will be able to succeed, Kaoru. But life never has a ‘happily ever-after’ attached to its end. I’m afraid you will have to learn it the hard way…

“Come visit Kyo more often, Shinya” Kaoru smiles gently, as if I was a kid who needed to be reminded of his obligations. “I’m sure Kyo would love your company.”

“Of course I will, Kaoru. But not as often as you would like.”

He nods and I’m happy that he understands. He knows I’m engaged and my hands are full with my job and my future family. He knows we’re having our hands full with buying a house, redecorating it and preparing the wedding among all other problems that seem to never end.

But I never forgot Kyo and never will. And I’m happy Kaoru knows that.

We sit for a while and have a beer. Kaoru visibly relaxes and the mood shifts to a more comfortable one. I ask him of his plans for Christmas and New Year, but of course he says he’s going to stay home, hopefully with Kyo by his side. His parents are still angry with him and Kaoru won’t be going to see them this year.

“Have you heard anything from Toshiya and Die recently?” I ask, a small smirk on my face.

“They’ve been to visit Kyo about a month or so ago… I haven’t told them yet about the changes in Kyo’s life” Kaoru smiles. “But I kind of don’t want to anymore… I’m tired of arguing with everybody all the time.”

“Just tell them when it’ll all be over.”

“Why do you ask, Shinya? Have you seen them yourself?”

“Yeah, we went for dinner. They wanted to meet my fiancée. I think something fishy is going on between those two.”

“What do you mean?”

Kaoru looks genuinely puzzled, so I try to hint without actually saying anything. But so far Kaoru still looks clueless.

“They seem to spend too much time together.”

“Well, they work together.”

“I mean, after work. They seem to be almost clinging to each other all the time.”

Finally Kaoru’s eyebrows rise and he looks astonished.

“You mean… Die and Toshiya? Together?”

“I don’t know for sure, but the way they behaved with each other during the dinner… I think there’s really something between those two.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen anything.”

“That’s because all you think about is Kyo.”

It was just a statement, but it came out of my mouth more like an accusation. Kaoru glares at me briefly and sips from his bottle.

“I would have asked, but I didn’t have an opportunity. And if I’m right, maybe they’ll tell us themselves. But I just wanted to ask you about this. For some time I thought maybe I was getting paranoid or something…”

Kaoru laughs and I smile at him.

Soon I have to leave and the uneasiness comes back on my chest. I still think Kaoru’s decision about Kyo is not wise. But I know he won’t listen, so I decide not to say anything again.

“I’ll call you when I’ll know what Yoshiki says about the job.”

“Yeah, ok. Thanks, Shinya.”

“Take care of yourself, Kaoru.”

“Of course. Goodbye!”

“Bye!”

He closes the door and I leave. My head spins with thoughts and questions and doubts. The day was long and hard and the evening was even more stressful than I have imagined. I just want to go to bed.

I hope Kaoru won’t ruin his life with this decision. And I hope it won’t hurt Kyo in the end.

It really seems like in this situation only one can win. And in the long run it won’t be Kaoru.

Sadly, it won’t be him.

TBC
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Blurry Days