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Miwaku no Zakuro	By : Tcharlatan Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2861 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en grey, X Japan, or KISAKI, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Kyo was tucked, huddled in a miserable ball, as tight into the far corner of his cell as he could possibly get. His eyes were glazed over, barely registering the bullet hole in the wall that he couldn’t seem to look away from. For several hours after Kaoru left him – after the maid scrubbed away every last trace of his fit, leaving the room completely barren – he couldn’t bring himself to move from that spot. For a long time, it was as though he had shut down entirely, unable to come to terms with what had happened to him, with everything that was and that would be happening to him. His mind, starved for food and sleep and nicotine, overwhelmed and confused, spiraled itself down to a constant, dizzy litany of the same handful of thoughts repeating themselves over and over.
‘I could have died…’
‘He could have killed me…’
‘That hole could be in my head…
-“You are my prize, my consort, my courtesan, my pet, my plaything.”-
‘Kisaki… why?’
‘What did I do to deserve this?’
‘I could have died…’
‘He didn’t kill me…’
At four in the evening, a noise like a door being open and shut from the other side of the locked door of his cell brought his fearful gaze away from the hole in the wall. He stared at the innocuous wooden panel, ears straining over the pounding of his heart to catch the sounds of footsteps crossing hardwood floors in an adjacent hallway, followed by what could only be a television. Just before six, the television sounds cut off abruptly, and everything was silent again.
He shifted his stare back to the bullet hole again until nine in the evening, when sounds from outside gave him stir once more. More doors opened and shut, more footsteps clicked on wooden floors, and this time, the lock to his own room disengaged. He turned his face down, staring at the floor and shaking as he bit his lip and wished himself invisible. The footsteps approached him slowly, and came to a halt directly in front of him.
Kaoru smiled slightly down at his captive. “I’m glad to see you’ve quieted down a bit. I’m thinking maybe I was too hasty in providing you with comforts you had not yet earned, so it’s understandable that you would be unable to appreciate them. We’ll start over, but properly this time. Come with me.”
Kyo let his eyes drift shut for just a moment as his captor turned and walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open. Despair and dread settled deep into his belly. He had been hoping, with every last fiber of his being, that he’d be left in peace for the rest of the night; that his captor would be content with the blowjob he’d given him that afternoon and he would be safe at least until the next day. Now from what Kaoru had said, he could only assume things were going to get worse for him, and he was afraid of what the man had in mind for “starting over.”
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Kaoru’s voice called, warning.
-“The quality and duration of your life at any given moment is completely dependent on my mood.”-
‘Don’t make him angry again…’
Kyo swallowed nervously and dragged himself to his feet, moving reluctantly through the open door in a less-than-graceful stagger. It was hard to keep himself steady anymore, he was so hungry, so tired. He found himself in a spacious bedroom – almost half the size of his entire apartment – the centerpiece of which was a massive bed, easily large enough to fit four people comfortably. Every piece of furniture in the room was masculine in its simplicity, but clearly very high-quality, and it was all immaculately clean. A door off to one side was shut, and presumably locked. Looking to the other side, he watched his captor’s back disappear into a large bathroom that shared a wall with the room Kyo had been kept in.
He didn’t want to be anywhere near Kaoru, but he also didn’t want to make the man any angrier than he already had, lest the man lose his temper and decide to just kill him. To put him down like an untamed dog. Taking a steadying breath, he clenched his fists and forced himself into motion. He moved to stand in the middle of the bathroom and stopped there, staring resolutely at the floor as his body shook itself nearly to pieces.
“Come here,” Kaoru beckoned, gesturing the floor directly in front of himself.
Again, Kyo obeyed, though his heart was pounding frantically in his chest. When Kaoru’s hands came up to his throat, he flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, almost expecting those thin fingers to wrap around his neck and choke the life from his lungs. All that he felt, though, was a soft touch against his skin, and the now-familiar weight of his collar being removed. Blinking, utterly baffled, he brushed one hand over his bared neck and watched Kaoru’s hands lay the choker out carefully on a black plastic pad on the counter. Even seeing how the two ends of the clasp looked when disconnected, he had no idea how Kaoru had disengaged the locking mechanism on the device.
“Would you like to shower on your own, or do you need my help?” the man asked with a slight smirk. He knew what the blonde’s answer would be, but the question he’d posed verbally was not what he was really asking; he needed to know whether or not his pet could behave civilly now that his temper had been momentarily subdued.
“Sh… shower?” Kyo breathed.
“Yes. You only get what you want through good behavior, but I will always provide you with what you need. And you need a shower; you’ll get sick wallowing in blood and filth with all those open wounds.”
Kaoru gestured to one side, and Kyo shifted his gaze to follow it. Kaoru’s shower stall was larger than most, but it would still be exceedingly intimate with two people inside. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to be entirely alone either way; the walls were unusually short, only reaching as high as Kyo’s shoulders, allowing the occupants to see out as much as they let outsiders look in. Part of him wanted to refuse the shower; to stay covered in blood and fear-sweat until he was so repulsive Kaoru would never think of touching him again. It was a temptingly rebellious thought. But the part of him that wanted desperately to be clean joined forces with the pressing need to not anger his keeper again, and he deflated a little with resignation.
“I… I’d rather shower on my own…” he ventured carefully. Kaoru raised an eyebrow and Kyo realized his error, rectifying it quickly, “P-please!”
Kaoru was satisfied. “Alright. Go on then, I’ll give you ten minutes.”
It felt like a trap, but… to be clean again… to feel just a little human again… Biting his lip, the blonde moved into the stall and shut the door quickly behind him. Nervous hands tugged at the belt of his bathrobe – the right near-useless as every motion aggravated the deep cuts in his fingers and palms – and he draped the blood-stained garment over the door. As he grasped the faucet controls, he flashed an edgy glance at his captor. The man was fussing with something on the counter by the sink, blessedly granting Kyo the barest modicum of privacy. Stepping under the spray of hot water, Kyo gritted his teeth against the sting that flared up in each of his wounds and fought past it, scrubbing himself down with the soaps and shampoos he found on a rack in the corner. The water and foam running off of him as he rinsed ran first brown, then red, before finally becoming clear.
“Your ten minutes are up. Come on out of there,” Kaoru eventually called.
Kyo startled a little at the sudden voice, and reluctantly turned the water back off. When he turned to grab the robe again, his hand hit only the bare steel of the shower door, and he blinked in confusion. “The… the robe, it’s-”
“Dirty, and you won’t be getting another one. As I said, we’re starting over properly. Maybe if you behave yourself, I’ll give you clothes again later, but for now you’ll be going nude except for your collar,” Kaoru informed him casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I’ve already seen you naked, and I plan to do so plenty more in the future, so you may as well get used to it now.”
Kyo’s eyes widened. “W-what?! You can’t-”
Kaoru shot Kyo a look that silenced the blonde immediately, his sharp eyes narrowed in admonition. “You really do need to stop trying to tell me what I can and cannot do, especially as it pertains to how I treat my own property. Be happy with what you have, because in spite of what you might think, there’s always plenty more that I can take away from you. Now come here.”
‘Don’t make him angry… whatever you do, don’t make him angry again…’
Kyo bit his lip and obeyed, hands folding in front of his groin anxiously as he left the protective shelter of the shower stall. He shivered as his captor’s hawkish gaze raked over him, from the tips of his toes to the soft, dripping spikes of his hair, shameless in his perusal of everything in-between. When Kyo came within arm’s reach, he gave a decidedly undignified squeak as Kaoru’s hands closed around his waist and lifted him up, depositing him to sit on a towel that had been laid out across the counter. Once settled, he immediately pressed his knees tight together and hunched nervously, trying to make sense of what was happening now.
“Let me see your hand,” Kaoru ordered calmly, holding out his own palm.
Kyo blinked, hopelessly confused, and hesitantly started to reach out his left hand.
Kaoru shook his head sternly. “The other one.”
The blonde was significantly more reluctant to offer his captor his injured hand, curling it protectively against his chest. “Why?”
Kaoru raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t matter. I told you to give me your hand, and whether I plan to lavish it with jewelry or cut your fingers off one knuckle at a time, you will give me your hand.”
Kyo flinched hesitantly, but he knew he didn’t have much choice. Gritting his teeth and bracing himself, he held his wounded hand out to Kaoru. It was stiff and stung fiercely as he opened it, the deep cuts the glass shard had left beginning to ooze anew. Prepared for the older man to hurt him further, he was entirely mystified when the man instead set about cleaning and dressing the wounds across his palm and fingers with a gentle, competent touch. He blinked at Kaoru’s hands, then his face, then his hands again, utterly bewildered by the care he was being shown.
“Your shaking is making this somewhat difficult, pet. You have nothing to be afraid of; so long as you behave yourself, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“…I… I don’t…”
Kaoru sighed and shook his head, speaking calmly as he finished bandaging Kyo’s hand and set about doing the same for the bloody bruise on his cheekbone. “As things stand now, you will not receive any clothing or a new bed until you earn them back. The collar’s vibration sensor will be reactivated until you learn to conduct yourself civilly, whether I’m here or working. You’ll be confined to your room at all times unless I’m available to supervise you, and even then you’ll likely be kept on leash. It should have been this way from the beginning, but I suppose I wanted to make you a bit more comfortable in the hopes that it would make it a little easier for you to adjust, and in doing so, I set you up to fail.”
Kyo paled a little, reeling back from the hand that was tending his wound. “You… you’re turning the bark collar back on?”
Kaoru sighed and grabbed Kyo firmly by the chin, staring him down intently and cutting off the potential argument before the blonde could even voice it. “Yes, because you’re noisy. If you behave yourself for a while, maybe I’ll turn the sensor back off but until then, you will be silent unless bid otherwise. I understand that this is a lot for you to take in all at once, but it’s getting late and my patience with you is running quite thin, so try to quiet down and hold still so I can go to bed.”
Kyo shrank under the harsh gaze and held as still as he could so the older man could place butterfly bandages over the gash on his cheek, speaking very softly. “I… I promise I won’t… I won’t yell anymore. Please don’t-”
“It’s not up for negotiation. You had your chance and you threw a temper tantrum and trashed your room. The sensor is coming back on, and that’s final. And if you make any further messes in that room, I’m rubbing your face in them, do you understand me?”
Kyo thought of the razor-sharp shards of glass that had been scattered across the floor and sink of his bathroom and cringed; it was an effective enough threat. He swallowed a nervous lump in his throat and nodded slowly, eyes wide. Kaoru seemed to approve, moving to clean up the self-inflicted claw marks running across Kyo’s chest. They were too shallow to need bandaging, but the older man was careful to thoroughly disinfect them. He also tended the raw friction burns and scratches around the blonde’s neck from where pulling at his collar had worn into his skin. Only when all of the younger man’s wounds were tended did he pick the collar up off the black pad – a charging station? – and put the hateful thing back around Kyo’s neck, reengaging the clasp with a decisive click.
“And more of this scratching will not be tolerated. You are not to damage any of my property, and that includes yourself,” Kaoru warned, hoisting the younger man back down off the counter and gesturing to a porcelain cup containing a new toothbrush and a comb. “Those are yours, go ahead and finish cleaning up.”
Brushing his teeth took a significant effort, with his stomach twisting wretchedly, bile threatening at the back of his throat. To have his own toothbrush… it was sickeningly intimate, and spoke too much of the amount of time he was meant to spend in this place. Kaoru ran his fingers tiredly through his hair and leaned against the counter, watching and waiting patiently for Kyo to finish before leading him back to his barren cell.
“I’m in no mood for further misbehavior today, so try to keep quiet. If you wake me up, I’m just going to chain you out in the yard and you can sleep with the dogs.”
Kyo blanched at that – he had no doubt that Kaoru would not only carry out that threat, but that he would leave Kyo nude when he did, unprotected in the mid-October chill – and went to sit down with his back pressed into the far corner of his little room, legs drawn up close to his chest. He watched anxiously as Kaoru drew out the remote to his collar again, tapping and sliding his fingers over the screen with a few well-practiced motions. The device beeped twice this time, and Kyo’s collar responded in kind.
“C-Can’t I- ah!” Kyo whimpered as the damnable necklace beeped and shocked him almost immediately. The sensor was back on.
“I’d recommend that you keep quiet. The shocks will get progressively more powerful the more you try to speak over it,” Kaoru warned, yawning as he turned his back on his captive. “Just try to get some sleep. The next few days promise to be quite busy.”
By the time the clock on the wall read just after ten-thirty, Kaoru had left him and the white light on the ceiling had dimmed for the night. As tired as he was, sleep eluded Kyo for a long time once again; his foggy mind spinning wildly, struggling to come to grips with his situation. He had nothing now. No home. No money. No friends. No control. No voice. He wanted to be angry at Kisaki for doing this to him, but his indignant fury had faded by now into betrayed despondency, until all he felt was hurt.
Without anything to distract him from them, the withdrawal symptoms were worsening, wearing down on him mercilessly; chills, headaches, tremors, insomnia, stomach cramps. Around midnight, coughing fits began to plague him, creeping up to tickle incessantly at the back of his throat. Luckily, the sensor at his throat didn’t react to the involuntary sounds he was making, as there was almost no vibration involved without his vocal cords engaged. The fits hurt enough on their own, without the damned collar punishing him for them as well. Starvation made him dizzy and light-headed, weighing heavily at his bones and gnawing at his belly insistently. Once or twice, he dragged himself onto his hands and knees and crawled to a different corner of the barren room, to lie in a different position, but nothing helped.
Worst of all his ailments was the voice of his captor – cool and smooth and penetrating, like a harsh winter wind ripping across his mind – that he couldn’t seem to shut out.
-“You are my prize…”-
‘No…’
-“My consort…”-
‘I don’t want-’
-“My courtesan…”-
‘I have to get out-’
-“My pet…”-
‘I don’t want to die!’
-“My plaything.”-
Eventually, he gave up and simply laid on the floor, staring at the stark white bandages wound around his right hand, and let his mind go blank in the last attempt at escape he had available to him.
‘Just don’t make him angry again…’
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Miwaku no Zakuro