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Kinyoubi no Koibito	By : matchakitty Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Raphael Views: 1337 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Raphael. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Kinyoubi no Koibito--pt. 6

Kinyoubi no Koibito
by Matrim
Part 6

Song: If You're Gone

I think I’ve already lost you
I think you’re already gone
I think I’m finally scared now
You think I’m weak
I think you’re wrong
I think you’re already leaving
Feels like your hand’s on the door
I thought this place was an impasse
Now I’m relaxed
I can’t be sure

“Wdo ydo you want?”
Tomo smiled but it didn’t seem to have effect he wanted on the other man. Hiro’s expression remained cold and guarded. “Is that any way to treat me? After all, we were friends once.” He took a few steps forward to close the gap between them. Hiro took a few steps backwards and unwittingly backed into the wall. Tomo trapped him with his arms on either side of Hiro’s head. “In fact,” Tomo lowered his voice, “We were more…” He moved so that his lips were near Hiro’s ear, “Then friends once.”
Hiro pushed Tomo away, “That was a long time ago.”
Tomo sighed, “Yes, I know. The memories are still fresh in my mind.”
Hiro winced. He wished that he could say he felt differently.
“Hiro-chan,” Tomo said. The other man swallowed painfully. “Yasashi na koibito.”
“Urusai.”
“Nanda? I think you want me to go on.”
Hiro rolled his eyes. “Screw you, Tomo.”
Tomo giggled, “You did. Or rather I did you. But I love when you speak to me like that.”
“No, you don’t. No one does.” Hiro snapped coldly. “Now what the hell are you doing here?” It was amazing how only Tomo could bring out the ugly side in him.
“Moral support.”
“Nani?”
“Didn’t you know?” Tomo blinked innocently at him, “I’m Yuki’s best friend.”
Hiro stared at him as if his world just ended. “You?” Tomo nodded. I love him but he has no tastes in best friends. “You’re lying.”
“Why would I lie?”
Hiro didn’t answer, although a dozen very evil thoughts ran through his head begging to be said. Instead, he looked away.
“And anyway, since we’re going to be spending some time together, I think we should catch up.” Tomo said, “Do you remember that dance I taught you?”
He did. It was their third week of going steady and Tomo had dragged him out onto the dance floor, because Hiro wouldn’t go willingly.

“C’mon, Hiro-chan! Just forget about it and dance.”
“Ano…Tomo! I can’t—“
“Nonsense. I’ll be the girl, you be the boy—hey, why are you blushing?”
“I’m not--!”
“Kawaii!” Tomo kissed him.

Hiro shook his head to get rid of the memory.
Tomo frowned, “Nani? You don’t remember? Do I have to show you again?” He grabbed Hiro’s hand but he jerked it away. There was only one person he wanted to hold his hand and it wasn’t Tomo.
“We won’t be spending any time together if I can help it. Now, if you will excuse me—“ he tried to move past Tomo but the other man blocked his way.
“No, I will not excuse you!” Tomo snapped, “You’ve never told Yuki about us, have you?!”
Hiro glared at Tomo, “There is no us, Tomo.”
Tomo gave him a sad smile and brushed his lips with his fingers. Hiro shied away from him. “Maybe. Maybe not. In the future, we could be again.”
“Never.” Hiro replied, harshly.
“You don’t know that.” Tomo replied, softly. “I still love you, Hiro. And I’ll teach you to love again.” He left Hiro, then and the drummer wandered back to the dressing room in a daze.

********

I think you’re so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
And I think I’m scared
That I think too much
I know it’s wrong it’s a problem I’m dealing
If you’re gone

Yukito stared at from across the dressing room. He idly drummed his fingertips against the counter as he did so. Kazuki was elsewhere so that meant this was all up to him now.
Yuki stared at the counter top, lost in thought and jumped when Yukito’s hands began to massage his shoulders. “God, Yukito-kun!”
“Gomen…you looked a little tense there. Daijyoubu?”
“Hai…” Yuki relaxed and Yukito smirked. Now to talk him around…
“You sure?”
“Noo..” Yuki trailed off. “Ever had dreams of someone you love and hate?”
“Yes.” Well, not really but anything to get to the bottom of things. He was starting to take his role of otousan very seriously these days.
“They ever feel real to you?”
“No.” Well, at least that was true.
“Oh. Yukito?”
“Hm?”
“Before you were married to Yoshino, ever loved someone so much it hurt?” Yuki asked, quietly.
Yukito remembered the time before he married Yoshino, when he was trying to get her attention without looking like an idiot. He gave a fond smile. “Yes.”
“I—I like Hiro.” Yuki admitted softly. A little too softly because Yukito almost missed it. “But he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
“Then there’s still hope, right?”
“I don’t think so. He apologized for what he said to me but—he’s acting like it was nothing. Like everyday he’s told that someone’s in love with him and he breaks that someone’s heart.” He closed his eyes and rested his head on the counter. “Maybe it’s just me.”
“Ne, maybe it’s not you.” Yukito told him. Yuki gave a derisive groan. “Maybe Hiro doesn’t know how he feels. He has been through one hell of a relationship. Maybe he’s not ready.”
“That was three months ago, Yukito. Don’t you think he’d be over it by now?”
“No. Hiro’s sensitive. And that Tomo…”
Yuki raised his head, “Nani?”
“Tomo,” Yukito repeated the name. “That was Hiro’s ex’s name. He was very good looking. And from what I could tell they were really in love. At least, Hiro was.”
Yuki seemed like he was fighting with himself over something and then shook his head. “Oh. But…I’m over Sakito. And that was just a couple of days ago.”
“Are you?” Yukito questioned.
Yuki looked away in the distance and then shook his head. “Not really…”
Yukito saw the sadness lurking in his eyes and bit his lip. Tentatively, he asked, “Tell me, Yuki. Was Sakito good to you?”
Yuki looked down at his lap. “Define good.”
“Did he treat you nice, you know? Like…” Yukito thought for a second then said, “Did he give you gifts just because he felt like it, did he take care of you when you were sick, did he compliment you on the oddest things, did he pay for you even though you had enough money—you know, was he good to you?”
Yuki looked sadder, “No.”
Yukito stopped massaging Yuki’s shoulders and stared at him in k, “k, “Are you serious?”
The vocalist still stared at his lap, “It’s not as if he didn’t love me…he…just showed it differently.”
“Oh, yeah and I’m the Sun Goddess Amakerasu.” Yukito retorted. Yuki gave a soft laugh but it was more of an automatic response. “You thought that if you spoiled him, he’d come around, didn’t you?” Yuki didn’t respond and Yukito frowned. He was right, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Damn you, Kazuki. Leave me to do all the hard work. This is going to be a painful conversation. “Yuki—“
“Love more than sex.” Yuki said, softly. That was one of his sayings. “But I didn’t listen to my own advice.”
“Yuki, it’s not your fault. You were in love, he wasn’t.”
“Why couldn’t he be? He said so—the other day—he said so.”
“And you didn’t believe him. Tell me why.”
“Because—because he cheated on me. And Hiro…” Yuki drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rested his head against his knees. The door opened quietly but Yuki didn’t seem to notice. Yukito turned around to see Hiro slip silently in. The drummer pointed at Yuki, with a questionable look and Yukito motioned for him to be quiet. Hiro stood behind, Yukito and did so.
“Yuki.”
The vocalist’s shoulders began to shake with silent sobs. “Okay, so I’m not as over it as I thought. So what if I have been running away from my feelings? So what?!! It’s better to do that than to dwell on the fact that I’ve been a whore! I gave him everything and he gave me nothing in return. I don’t want to remember the fact that the only time he wanted me near him was when he wanted to have sex, I don’t want to remember that he forgot to give me something for White Day—no, deliberately gave me nothing, I don’t want to remember, Yukito!!! I don’t want to remember that look on his face every time I told him I loved him…” Yuki became tense again and Yukito took his hands away. It wouldn’t make a difference. Yuki was trying to transform himself into a tight ball. “No wonder no one wants me. No wonder Hiro doesn’t want me.”
Yukito looked at Hiro and shrugged as if to say, It’s all up to you now…
He stepped away quietly and left the room but stayed near the door to see and hear what was going on.

Yuki sobbed louder now, oblivious to all that was around him. Hiro bit his lip. Seeing someone cry was a personal thing. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to see this. But…”Yuki—“ He whispered.
“It’s true so don’t try to say that it’s going to be okay. It’s not going to be okay. Never.”
Hiro wrapped his arms around Yuki and whispered into his ear, “So it won’t be okay, but it will be. And if you can’t forget, at least, know that it wasn’t your fault. You were manipulated. You weren’t the first to be used and you’re not the last.”
Yuki raised his head and stared at Hiro, “Yukito, when did you turn into Hiro?” He asked lamely.
Hiro smiled.
“What did you do to Yukito?”
“Nothing. He left.”
“How long have you been standing there?” Yuki demanded, pulling away from Hiro and wiping his face hastily.
“Not long.”
“How long?” Yuki asked again. bit bit his lip and Yuki snorted. He didn’t expect an answer. Finally, he asked, “Hiro, three months ago, you were in a relationship. What was your aijin’s name?”
“Tomo.” Hiro said quietly.
“What did he look like? And I want you to tell me the truth.” Yuki had his head on his knees again but this time he was looking at Hiro. His eyes were red and slightly puffy with his makeup marking trails down his cheeks. He looked like the vengeful spirit of truth, so Hiro didn’t have the heart not to answer him or tell him a lie.
Hiro took a deep breath, “He had black hair. And dark eyes. He had pale skin and he was skinny. He looked like a beautiful porcelain geisha doll and just like a doll he had no heart.”
“Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Don’t talk about Tomo like that. He does, too, have a heart. He has a beautiful broken heart. Just like me.” Yuki told him in a voice like glass. He was glaring at Hiro now.
“So it is true.”
“Nani?”
“He is your best friend.”
“How did you find out?” Yuki asked.
“He was the one who wanted to talk to me in the hall. He told me about you and him.” Hiro said, quietly.
“What else did he say?” Yuki asked, suspiciously.
“He’s still in love with me.” Hiro whispered and Yuki’s eyes widened and began to fill with tears again. “No, no, don’t cry. Yuki…” Hiro embraced Yuki again, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Yuki’s reply was muffled since he had buried his face into Hiro’s shoulder.
“You’re an emotional wreck. I—“ Hiro began but didn’t finish.
He couldn’t because Kazuki had just skipped into the room, singing at the top of his lungs a song that Toshiya had taught him. Hiro looked up at his leader and Yuki did the same and stared. They heard Yukito swear briefly from outside and he ran in. He grabbed Kazuki, clamped a hand on his mouth, smiled at the other two and dragged Kazuki away. He slammed the dressing room door closed.
“What was that?” Yuki asked, blankly.
“Kazuki.” Hiro replied, in a dead pan tone.
“What were you about to say?” Yuki asked, turning back to Hiro.
“I don’t trust you alone and I want you to stay with me again.”
“Demo—Hiro…”
“No, Yuki. You’re staying with me. I promised to take care of you and I didn’t. I’ll do a better job this time.” Yuki was about to protest again, “You can’t say no, I’ll drag you to our room anyway. I’d rather you came willingly though.”
“One way or another, huh?” Yuki muttered.
Hiro’s eyes narrowed, “Nani?”
“Nan demo nai…” Yuki said, quickly with a brief smile.
Hiro ignored that and whispered into Yuki’s ear, “Yuki…come home.”

“Itai!”
“You almost destroyed it!!!”
Kazuki rubbed his shoulder ruefully and glared at his bassist, “Well, how was I supposed to know what was going on in there?”
“Didn’t the sight of me standing outside of the dressing room, keeping everyone else out, give you a sign as to what was going on in there?” Yukito snapped, “Those two need each other and if you don’t know how to do it, I’ll do it.”
Kazuki pouted, “You didn’t have to hit me so hard. And stop trying to destroy my mood. I finally got rid of ol’ what’s-his-name.”
Yukito arched an eyebrow, “Hounto desu ka?”
Kazuki wasn’t going to let Yukito catch him in the same trap he caught Yuki with, “Hounto desu,” he sang. “Now I think you owe me an apology.” He rested his chin on Yukito’s shoulder and the bassist rolled his eyes and sighed. Kazuki smiled, “C’mon say it…’Kazuki-kun, I humbly apologize—‘” He paused, waiting for Yukito to fill the rest in.
“For what?”
“Yukito-kun!!!!” Kazuki whined. “You owe me an apology for hitting me so hard!!!”
“I’m not apologizing until you apologize to Hiro for what you said to him.” Kazuki pulled away from Yukito and frowned.
“No way!! That wasn’t my fault!! I said it would be okay with me if they ended up together!!!”
“No, as I recall you telling me, you told him that Yuki didn’t need Hiro’s love right now and that the only reason Yuki would say it, would be because he feels sorry for Hiro.” Yukito replied, calmly, crossing his arms as he did so. He was really beginning to look like a father. Kazuki began to bite his fingernails nervously. “Kazuki…” Yukito said.
“Alright, I’ll apologize.” Kazuki muttered.
The dressing room door opened and Hiro and Yuki exited. Hiro was holding Yuki’s hand. The vocalist looked a little nervous at this new development and kept looking at Hiro. “See, everything’s alright now.” Kazuki pointed out. Yukito sighed.

*******

I bet you’re hard to get over
I bet the moon just won’t shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need
More than you mind

“Alright, everybody on the bus!!!!” The voices of three very stressed out and tired managers yelled out. “And do it quickly, we have to check into a new hotel!!! Everything must be on schedule or it will all end up badly!!!”
Yasu pranced around, goosing everyone except for Shinya and Kyo, who gave him a look of death when he came near. He slapped Yuki’s ass, who screamed. He normally wouldn’t have noticed but Yasu had crept up on him. Ka-yu rolled his eyes as everyone turned to stare at the two. “Yasu…” Ka-yu said, pulling his boyfriend away, “I think Hiro would appreciate it if you wouldn’t molest his koi anymore.”
“Eh?” Yasu looked again and smiled mischievously. “What this?” He grabbed Hiro’s wrist and held it up. Yuki and Hiro stared at him.
“I don’t know…it looks like our hands!!” Yuki snapped, his cheeks red with embarrassment from the ass slapping and now, this. “So, we’re holding hands…get over it!!!” He dragged Hiro onto the bus, pushing past the shocked jrockers and into a secluded seat.
Kazuki and Yukito sighed and shook his heads. “Gomen, Yasu..” They both said. “They’ve been through a lot.” Yukito said.
“And probably will go through more before this tour is over.” Kazuki added. He ran a hand tiredly through his hair. Yukito saw a brief trace of sadness on Kazuki’s face before he put on a fake smile and stretched. “Damn…I could use a good warm bed now. I could fall asleep. Yukito, want to be my pillow?”
Yukito gave a brief chuckle and made a mental note to get Kazuki in touch with his real feelings. “Sure. But only on the bus.”
“Of course.”
Ten minutes later, they were on the dark comfort of the bus, Yukito sitting next to Kazuki who was staring out the window. Yukito played with straps of his bag. There was nothing he could really do. They were surrounded by couples and Kazuki wasn’llinlling to talk. On the seat next to him, Toshiya mumbled something to Kaoru, who murmured assent and kissed him on the forehead. Behind them, Die was teasing Shinya about something and he knew where that was going to lead…Heaven only knew where exactly Yuki and Hiro were. “Yukito?” Kazuki mumbled.
“Hm?”
“Do you think…do you think he misses me?”
Yukito kept the comment of, “How can he miss you when you just saw him?” where it belonged and instead asked, “Why?”
“He looked so sad when I saw him.” Kazuki shook his head, “Nah. Must’ve been something else. He wouldn’t be sad over me.” He hugged himself and rubbed his shoulders as if remembering something. He leaned against the window, “Yukito? Do you think things will ever be normal again?”
“What do you mean by normal?” Yukito asked.
“Normal. As in—tomorrow, I’ll wake up in my bed in the hotel room, accepting my normal morning calls, laugh at Yuki’s jokes and faces, have a splendid soundcheck and perform while looking forward to a bright future. That kind of normal.”
Yukito shifted to face Kazuki, “And who says it won’t?”
“Fate.”
“Eh?”
“Tomorrow, I will wake up and I will receive my normal calls except for one. Yuki will not laugh much tomorrow…I see it in his eyes.” Kazuki replied, calmly. “I don’t have much of a bright future.” He sighed, “What a difference one person makes.”
Yukito smiled sympathetically, “I think you might have to get used to a different kind of normal.”
“Yeah…truth hurts,” Kazuki said, with a painful smile, “I’m still not sure about that setting you free part.” He hugged his legs to his chest and looked at Yukito, “I wish I could just forget what I felt for him though.”
Yukito shook his head, “I don’t think you’re supposed to forget.”
“Who says?”
“Fate.”
Kazuki smiled and placed his head on Yukito’s shoulder. “Arigato, Yukito-kun. Oyasumi.”
“Oyasumi.”

“This is insane. I swear.” Yukito groaned. Yoshino sighed as she held him. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry for the others. “They’re all mad.”
“It’s love.”
“At it’s worse.” Yukito added, “I just feel like dragging them in a closet and scolding them. Or something!!”
“Well, why don’t you?”
Yukito opened his eyes to see her staring honestly back at him. “Nani?”
“Okay, maybe not a closet or anything drastic.” Yoshino reasoned, “But the dragging part—why don’t you just manipulate them into each other’s arms.”
“But I don’t know how to do that…”
“That’s what I’m here for, baka.” She winked at him and kissed his nose. “I’ll help you.”
“So you want me to play matchmaker with my band mates but not let them know that?” Yoshino nodded, “I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not Kazuki.”
“He’s going through a hell right now…so why don’t you take over his job. I’ll be okaasan and you can still be otousan…”
Yukito thoughout out it and smiled, “Good God, I’ve married a genius!!!”
She giggled as he pulled her closer. “Just as long as you don’t forget it!!” He turned off the hotel light and fell asleep in each other arms.

-elsewhere, a few people were having a problem falling asleep-

The lights were off and Yuki stared out the window. He had the couch this time. He really didn’t like it but Hiro was always sleeping on the couch and he wanted to change that. He turned over uncomfortably. It was starting to hurt his back. God, how can Hiro sleep like this?!!! Yuki sighed and sat up. He wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. He glared over at the figure of the drummer on the bed. I hate you. He thought at him, even though he didn’t mean it. And if anyone yells at me for being grouchy tomorrow, it’ll all be your fault. Meannie. He stuck his tongue out at Hiro and slumped onto the couch arm. I want to sleep…He whined silently. I wonder if Kazuki would mind if I slept with him tonight. He wrapped the sheet he had stolen off of Hiro’s bed around him and began to pad silently to the door so that the drummer wouldn’t hear him. Kazuki, I’m coming…He reached out for the metal door knob and jumped back when it shocked him. (You ever notice that? You go to a hotel in a different place—any place that’s not home—and you touch something metal and you get shocked? No matter what you do?—Matrim) He swore in a rather loud whisper and was about to open the door again when he heard, “Yuki? What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Where are you?”
“Over here.”
“I know that…where exactly is over here?”
Yuki paused, trying to thinking of a good lie and ended feebly with, “Near the door.”
There was a strange silence and then, “Why?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Yuki replied.
Hiro sighed, “Well, it can’t be nothing if you’re hanging around the near door. Is the couch hurting your back?”
Yuki bit his lip. “Yeah…I was…” He was about to tell him that he was going to sleep with Kazuki but decided against it. “I was…ano…Hiro?”
“Mm?”
Yuki turned around and walked back near the couch and looked at the dark outline of the drummer, “Can I come over there?”
There was a nervous tension and finally, Hiro replied, “Hai.” He moved over to the other side of the bed and opened the blanket to let Yuki in. Yuki crawled into bed next to Hiro. Hiro’s arm reflexively curled around Yuki’s shoulder in an embrace and Yuki snuggled up next to him. (I feel like crying…this is so sweet—Matrim) “You’re warm, Hiro….” Yuki said, trying not to think too much about how nicely their bodies fit next to each other.
Hiro made a sound of assent and brushed his lips against Yuki’s forehead, shyly. “Oyasumi.”
Yuki smiled and kissed Hiro’s neck, since it was the closest he could get without having to get up. “Oyasumi, Hiro.”

*********

I think you’re so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need
This in my life
I think I’m just scared
That I know too much
I can’t relate and that’s a problem
I’m feeling if you’re gone

“Ohayou,” a voice said in his ear.
Yuki wrinkled his nose and opened his eyes, slowly. He blinked as he remembered where he was and smiled. He turned and Hiro kissed him gently on the cheek. Yuki kissed Hiro’s neck and cuddled up against him.
“Are you afraid of kissing me normally?”
“With your morning breath, hai!” Yuki replied. Hiro gave him a playful slap on the rump. “Itai!” Yuki whined. “Only joking. I’m too lazy to reach you up and kiss you on the lips. And have you ever known me to be normal?”
“Now that you mention it, no.”
“Just think of it as a special Yuki greeting.” He kissed Hiro’s collarbone.
“And what’s that?”
“Oyasumi.”
“No!!” Okite!”
“Iie.”
“We have soundcheck at ten!”
“Which is in three hours.” Yuki replied.
“I’m not going to watch you sleep for three hours.” Hiro told him.
“Who said you have to?” Yuki snuggled deeper into his pillow.
Hiro sighed and snuggled up to him. “But you have to get up. You can’t sleep all the way to ten and risk being late.”
“Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t.” Yuki murmured into his pillow, loving the extra warmth that Hiro was giving him.
“Because Kazuki will kill you.”
“Idle threats.”
Hiro nuzzled Yuki’s ear and the vocalist turned his head away with suppressed smile. “What can I say that will get you awake and out of bed?”
“Nothing. It’s a losing battle.” Yuki mumbled. Hiro sighed and pulled closer to him so that his chest was against Yuki’s back.
“What about a shower?”
“Tempting but not so early in the morning.” Yuki said.
“Nani?” Hiro missed the etchi tone in Yuki’s words. The vocalist tried not to laugh. “What about breakfast?”
“Maybe…” Yuki said, not moving.
Hiro went on, “Just think if you get out of this bed, I’ll make the shower ready for you—“
Yuki interrupted him, “Will you be in it?”
Hiro paused and Yuki almost regretted saying that but finally the drummer replied, “Only if you get out of bed.” Yuki groaned and Hiro took that as an assent and went on, “And then when you get out, breakfast will be here. There’ll be strawberry crepes and fresh coffee.”
Yuki turned over and asked, without opening his eyes, “Good coffee?”
“Very good coffee.”
“Throw in a cheese Danish and I might reconsider.”
“Alright…a cheese Danish.” Yuki didn’t move. Hiro frowned down at him. “Well? Get up, you lazy brat…”
“I’m not a brat.”
“Oh, yeah, prove it to me.”
Yuki opened his eyes and looked at Hiro.
Hiro stared back.
Yuki smiled and pounced on him. The drummer fell back against the bed with a startled laugh as Yuki pinned him against the sheets and purred. “I’m not a brat. Now, get in my shower before I decide to sleep in for three hours more.” He kissed Hiro’s neck and let him up. Hiro crawled over Yuki, who slapped his ass, and grabbed the phone to call room service. He ordered everything that he said he would including the cheese Danish. He hung up and Yuki smiled at him. “Well?”
Hiro shook his head and got off the bed. “I don’t believe you…”
“You’re the one who made the deal.” Yuki said. Hiro smirked and nodded. He stood up and began to unbutton his pajamas. He walked slowly towards the bathroom. He dropped his pajama top on the floor just before he reached the couch and turned to see if he had Yuki’s attention. He didn’t have to worry, the vocalist was staring at him as if he had seen something holy. Hiro tossed his hair out of his eyes and dropped his pajama bottom near the couch on the floor. He continued to walk toward the bathroom and with one last look at Yuki, got rid of his underwear and closed the bathroom door. There was the sound of the water being turned on and the shower running.
Yuki sat there on the bed, speechless. He didn’t do…what I just thought…he…did, did he? He stared at the articles of clothing on the floor. He did. Oh, God. I didn’t think he was serious. Suddenly, the door opened and Hiro’s head popped out to look at him. “Yuki, your shower’s ready.” Yuki nodded, numbly and got off the bed. He walked slowly towards the bathroom and barely resisted when Hiro grabbed his hand and yanked him in.
A few minutes later—
“Oi!! Hold it!!”
“Nani?” Yuki held back a smile.
“A shower’s a shower!! It doesn’t mean you can do that!!” Hiro protested.
Yuki giggled, “Naze?” His hands drifted down Hiro’s stomach and the drummer gasped.
“Yuki!!!” The drummer twisted around and moved the vocalist in front of him. “That wasn’t the deal!! It’s too early in the morning!!!”
Yuki pouted, “You’re such a tease.”
“Yeah, yeah—whatever. Shut up and shower.” Hiro replied and Yuki giggled again.
“You’ll make this up to me later, right?”
“If you’re good.”(Yes, I was thinking of you, Lady7...it's the least I could do, ne? ^_~ --Matrim)

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and a robed Hiro emerged carrying a robed Yuki. He looked around as Hiro set him down on the chair at the table and there was a knock on the door. Hiro went to answer it and the room service cart entered the room. The man set each plate down on the table and filled two cups up with coffee. He left cream and sugar on the table and then left, bowing both to Yuki and Hiro. “See? Aren’t you glad you got out of bed?” The drummer asked and Yuki blushed and smiled.

-elsewhere-

Kazuki sat up with a gasp as the phone startled him out of dreamland. He grabbed the phone without a thought and answered, “Moshi moshi?”
“Kazuki-kun?”
He froze when he heard that voice and slowly answered, “Hai?”
“Is that boy there?”
“What boy?”
“The boy you slept with yesterday,” Ki-sama’s voice practically dripped with acidic jealousy. Kazuki pulled away from the receiver and stared at it as if he didn’t know what it was.
“No.” Kazuki said.
“Good.”
“Nani?”
“I don’t want him near you, Kazuki.”
“He’s only my band mate. He won’t do anything.”
There was a derisive snort on the other side, “I guess what happened the other night was nothing then, huh?” Kazuki clutched at the phone cord, not knowing whether to be happy or terrified. He had seen the other man angry before and it wasn’t a very nice picture.
“It wasn’t.” Kazuki replied, hastily.
“Kazuki-kun. You are mine. You have been mine for three years. It will take more than a simple sayonara and a little boy to make me leave.” He said in a hard voice.
Kazuki bit his lip and for some reason, his eyes began to tear up. “Ki-sama,” he said, even though he promised himself he wouldn’t call the other man that anymore.
There was a tortured sigh from the other line, “Kazuki. I know that this may be a little late and I know that you’re a little upset with me and Dai, but he means nothing to me, not like you do.”
Kazuki took a deep breath and let it out. “Ki-sama. What if we run out of time?”
“Kazuki…you and I will never run out of time.” He said softly.
“You always say that. How can I be sure?” Kazuki returned. He went on before the other man could answer. “I’m scared. I’m scared that I will lose you. And that’s why I think we should either do something now or end it.”
“Kazuki, you know I’m busy and that I’m—“
Kazuki suppressed a sob, “Yes, I know. You’re too old for me, I’m too young. You’re the president of Matina and I’m a guitarist, who needs to focus on his career first before he thinks of falling in love.” He began to openly cry now, “But…I can’t do that. Who do you think I wrote Eternal Wish for? It’ll never reach you…it still hasn’t. Please…let me go—let me leave with my dignity. If you don’t want to love me, let me go so that I may learn how to love someone else.”
“Kazuki…don’t cry ... aishiteiru…”
“Gomen ne, Ki-sama?” Kazuki sobbed, “I can’t believe you when you say that. It’s like giving someone a pity fuck. And I don’t want your pity. All I wanted was your love…and no matter how busy I was, I always made time for you…but…I guess it’s not the same, huh?”
“Kazuki.” The other man was at a loss.
“Goodbye, Ki-sama. I’ll see you in the future someday…I loved you.” Kazuki hung up the phone with a calm, he certainly didn’t feel and cried into his pillow. His dreams were shattered. There would be no future of him asleep in Ki-sama’s arms, no future of being fulfilled and no him. Without him, there was no future.

**

“Hiro!!” Yuki laughed, “Stop!! Put me down!!!”
“Shut up!! You’re enjoying it!!” Hiro came in with Yuki on piggy back. Kazuki looked up at them somberly and didn’t even crack a smile while Yukito laughed. Yuki bounced a little and ruffled Hiro’s hair.
“Aw…you spoil me too much!!” Yuki giggled as he slid off of Hiro’s back.
Kazuki stood and picked up his guitar. “Arigatou, Hiro-kun, for getting our vocalist here on time.”
Hiro smiled but it faded when he saw the look of loss in Kazuki’s eyes. Yuki spun around and frowned. “Kazuki, daijyoubu?” He reached out to touch his leader who easily avoided his grasp.
“Hai. Hai. Daijyoubu,” he insisted. Yuki looked at Hiro and he looked at Yukito. The bassist gave a slight nod and a look that said: Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.
Yuki nodded. “If you’re sure…?” He asked, trying again.
Kazuki nodded, “Hai. Shall we begin?”
The others nodded and surrendered to the music, Kazuki’s troubles shoved to the back of their minds.**

“Promise forever,” Yuki sang and the note seemed to last forever as Kazuki’s guitar wove its melody gently around his voice. The song ended just as Yuki’s mobile phone rang. He ran over to answer it as the others began to pack up and move out of the way for Dir en Grey to set up and practice. “Moshi moshi?” Yuki tossed his hair out of the way and relaxed when Hiro wrapped his arms around his waist.
“Yuki?”
“Tomo-chan!!” Yuki said, happily. He frowned as he felt Hiro stiffen then tighten his hold around Yuki. “Ogenki desu ka?” He asked, trying to ignore Hiro for the moment.
“Genki desu…eto, Yuki?”
“Hai?”
“Can we talk?”
“We are talking,” Yuki teased.
Tomo gave a sigh, “No, I mean—face to face. Over lunch, maybe? This is really personal and I’d rather not say it on the phone.”
“Okay,” Yuki said, slowly. It must be really important if Tomo couldn’t tell him on the phone. Usually, Tomo could tell him anything anywhere. Yuki’s eyes narrowed as he remembered something. Tomo and Hiro. “I have to talk to you about something, too.”
“Oh, okay. Mata ne?”
“Ja.”
“Suki da!” Tomo’s tone held a bit of desperation to it.
“Daisuki.” Yuki replied and hung up. He turned around in Hiro’s embrace and looked him in the eyes, seriously.
Hiro fidgeted, “Nani?” He never saw Yuki so serious.
Yuki took a deep breath, “Hiro-san, boku no?”
Hiro hesitated then nodded once.
“No matter what?” Yuki asked, a little shakily. “Promise me that you’re not like Sakito and that you’re not playing with my emotions?”
“Yuki, I promise.”
He nodded and hugged Hiro, tightly, “Remember that. Promise me that you’ll remember that.”
“I promise.”
“Good.” Yuki stepped away from Hiro. “I’m meeting with Tomo for lunch. I know you wanted to take me out but I can’t go with you today.”
A brief flash of anger flew across Hiro’s face but he smiled, making Yuki doubt that it was even there in the first place. “Alright. You’ll make it up to me, won’t you?”
Yuki smiled, “Of course.”
“How?”
“Hentai.” Yuki accused.
“No—I just—“ Hiro protested but it was too late. Yuki had the advantage and wasn’t going to give it up any time soon.
“Hentai!!” Yuki sang and ran away from him. “Oo!! So that’s why you wanted me to move back in your room. Old man trying to prey on little delicate beautiful me!! Hentai! Get away from me!!” Hiro glared after him although he should’ve expected that from Yuki.

-lunch-
Yuki sat in the corner booth of the café and ildly played with the straw that was in his shake. How am I going to confront Tomo-chan about Hiro? How will he react? He stared out the window, waiting for his best friend to appear. Finally, Tomo came out of a cab, gave Yuki a brief wave and entered the café. Yuki’s stomach twisted with apprehension and nervousness. Shit, what am I going to say…? Most of all, what is he going to say? What’s so important that he can’t tell me on the phone?
Tomo slid into the seat opposite of him and smiled when the waitress handed him a menu. It was silent as Tomo pondered what to order and Yuki wondered what to say. “Ano..what did you order, Yu-chan?” Tomo placed the menu down to glance at his friend, who was still lost in his own thoughts. Tomo tilted his head to the side, “Yu-chan?”
Yuki stared and smiled apologetically at his friend, “Gomen ne, Tomo-chan? My mind was wandering.”
“No kidding,” the other young man snorted.
“But if you’re still interested, I ordered a vanilla milkshake,” Yuki replied, enjoying the surprised expression on Tomo’s face. “I was, too, paying attention—how dare you accuse me of such a thing? I just forgot to answer.”
Tomo snorted again then sang, “Boku wa kimi no vanilla.”
Yuki laughed, “In your dreams and don’t sing Gackt when we’re about to eat or we’ll never enjoy our meal.” Tomo stuck his tongue out at him and Yuki laughed again and was able to forget about what he was worrying about for a minute.
The waitress came back, “May I take your order?”
“Hai. A vanilla milkshake please,” Tomo said and Yuki hid his smile by looking out the window. “And a sundae. And some French fries. And four cheeseburgers.” Tomo added. The waitress hastily scribbled them down. As she was leaving, Tomo yelled after her, “And a cherry cheesecake, please!”
Yuki giggled and it was quiet again.
This continued until Yuki couldn’t take the silence anymore. He cleared his throat, “Tomo-chan.”
“Yuki,” He began at the same time.
They laughed nervously and Yuki rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin. “You go first, ne?”
“No, Yuki—you first.”
Yuki nodded and coughed. “Eto…Tomo-chan?” Tomo looked up at him, “It’s about my Hiro,” He said slowly, hoping that Tomo would hear the ‘my’ part. “You used to know him, didn’t you? He was your ex-boyfriend, wasn’t he?” He went on before Tomo could interrupt. “You were the one who broke his heart, weren’t you? You were the one who used him just to get to a major label but you couldn’t quite make it, huh?”
Tomo looked as if Yuki just told him that he’d caught Tomo kissing a goat. “Yuki—“
“You still love him, don’t you?” Yuki said, softly and Tomo stopped. Yuki looked up at him. “Tell me the truth, Tomo. We’re best friends. You can tell me anything, remember?”
Tomo swallowed and nodded. “Hai. I was involved with your Hiro.” He said, slowly and his eyes turned distant as if remembering something. “I didn’t know that you two were in the same band. And yes, Yuki, I still love him. I don’t have to explain myself to you. It’s…it’s something, you know? I remember how it used to be and I realized a little too late how much he means to me. And I think that…that maybe I have another chance with him.” Yuki tried not to glare at his best friend and tried to be understanding. “He’s beautiful, he’s young, he’s wise and he’s gentle. I want to make it up to him. I want him to be happy again. I want him to love again.”
Then why don’t you leave him with me? Yuki thought but felt ashamed of himself for thinking that. Tomo was in love with his Hiro and he couldn’t blame him. Hiro was very special. “So what are we going to do?” He asked, looking up at Tomo.
Tomo was about to reply when the waitress came back and placed the food and the vanilla milkshake down on the tablehe lhe left and Tomo slid two hamburgers over to Yuki. Then he said, “Yuki. I know you love him, too. Demo…”
“Demo…nan desuka?” Yuki asked. His hand froze over the hamburger bun.
“Give him up, please?” Tomo asked and Yuki almost forgot to breathe. “For me? I want to try again. I know that I don’t deserve him but…I still…t’s h’s hope that I could…be with him again.” He finished lamely and looked away from Yuki’s gaze.
Yuki remembered what he was about to do and picked up his hamburger. “I can’t promise you that I’ll give him up. I can’t do that.” He went on before Tomo could protest and interrupt him, “All is fair in love and war, Tomo. If you want him, you have to fight for him.”
Tomo swallowed and played with his straw before putting it into his own shake. “Fine. Yu-chan?”
“Hai?”
“Promise me that no matter what happens—whoever wins Hiro or if none of us get him—promise me, that we’ll always be friends.”
Yuki hesitated then nodded slowly. “I promise.”
“Suki da…” Tomo said softly.
“Daisuki,” Yuki whispered and they finished their lunch in an uncomfortable silence.

That night after the concert when they were all in their hotel rooms and Hiro had turned the light off, Yuki lay in bed thinking. He stared off into the darkness and thought about Tomo and Hiro and about himself. Was he strong enough to let Tomo win? Or was it the other way? Was he strong enough to win some happiness for himself? He knew that it wasn’t fair—that Tomo had been single ever since he and Hiro broke up while Yuki had jumped from one relationship to the next. Tomo was beautiful and miserable and Yuki was okay and happy. But all is fair in love and war, he reminded himself and bit his lip. If that’s so, he thought, then why do I feel miserable and why do I feel as if everything is in Tomo’s favor? He sighed just as Hiro snuggled up to him and placed his chin between Yuki’s neck and shoulder.
“Ne, Yuki…daijyoubu?”
“Hai…”
“Liar.”
Yuki turned over and embraced Hiro and kissed his neck twice. Hiro held him close and Yuki tried not to cry. This was how it was supposed to be. He and Hiro fit. He and Hiro were perfect for each other. Tomo blew it when he broke Hiro’s heart. He doesn’t deserve a second chance, something whispered to Yuki.

Baby, you need to come home
Come home

Yuki whied aed and Hiro squeezed tighter. He doesn’t deserve you, he told Hiro silently, You’re mine. You promised. He kissed Hiro’s collarbone and Hiro whispered in his ear, “Oyasumi.”

There’s a little bit of something in me
And everything in you

Yuki sighed and closed his eyes. I’ve been through hell to get you. And I’ll go through hell to keep you. “Oyasumi, Hiro.”

In you…

“Aishiteiru…” he said, before slipping off into sleep.

End of part 6
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Kinyoubi no Koibito