Ms Self Destruct | By : TrentReznorsSin Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Nine Inch Nails Views: 3298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Nine Inch Nails. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Ms Self Destruct
Author: TrentReznorsSin
Disclaimer: Trent unfortunately doesn’t belong to me *sobs* (do you really think I’d be sat at my PC if I owned him?? Lol) but Erin and some other people you won’t recognise belong to moi. I’m a poor uni student so don’t sue, I’m not making anything out of this!
Summary: Set during the Self Destruct Tour 94/95. Trent’s decision to ask his best friend Erin to come along for the tour has made them both ask the question ‘are we just friends?’
Feedback: Yes please, no flames though, they make me cry
Author's note: This is the first NIN fiction I’ve written in years, so I might be a bit rusty.
Author's Random Thoughts: Well, chapter six is here! I hope you all like it! I've been thinking about what Miss Mental Health said about talking more about each characters P.O.V so hopefully this'll give you guys an insight into how Trent and Erin feel. Btw if anyone has any ideas as to how this story could go, feel free to e-mail me. I've just finished reading Trent's biography so I might be adding stuff from that into the story and maybe even write a sequel if this one goes well, who knows? Lemme know what you think.
PLEASE REVIEW!
As always, thank you to those who have reviewed and to Danu my beta =o)
Chapter Six: Something I Can Never Have
Erin closed the door of her hotel room. Leaning against the wooden panels, she willed her heartbeat to return to normal while trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill. Failing miserably, she sank down onto the floor, her back still to the door, sobs racking her whole body.
You stupid, stupid girl. All these years you’ve wanted to touch him, wanted to be with him, wanted to love him. And then as soon as he shows signs of feeling the same way, you bolt…you’re nothing but a pathetic little coward…
Shutting her eyes tight, she gripped her hair and drew her knees up to her chest.
I just don’t want to loose him…
The voice in the back of her head continued its assault.
Besides, why would he want to be with you? You’re his best friend, someone he can hang around with, not lover material. There are thousands of girls out there prettier, nicer and all round better than you that would quite happily sleep with h…
“Stop…” She managed to whisper out, her throat tight from crying. “Please stop…” Tilting her head back, pressing it against the door, she opened her eyes. The room was in almost total darkness where she hadn’t turned on any lights when she had entered.
Getting to her feet, Erin pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes to get rid of the tears that had left salty tracks down her cheeks. The light at the side of the bed made a soft click as she switched it on, bathing the room in a warm glow. The bed made a soft protest as she sat down on it, unlacing the boots she wore. Kicking them away from her, she swung her legs over and curled up into a foetal position on the bed.
Closing her eyes didn’t help. No matter what she tried to think of, he was always there, the hurt and confusion in his dark eyes permanently burned onto her brain. Fresh tears trailed downwards as she curled up tighter on the bed.
* * *
Despite the protests of the rest of the band, Trent had decided to go back to the hotel. Now seated up against the headboard of the bed, he was staring down at his hands in silent contemplation, his dark hair hiding his face.
Had he read the signs wrong? Was it just him who felt this way? His heart skipped a beat at the thought of not being able to be with her.
Well Reznor, you’ve fucked up royally haven’t you? Not only will she never want to play with you again, she will probably never want to see you again. You’re such a loser…
Curling his outspread fingers into fists, he closed his eyes and sighed.
Why would she want to be with him anyway? It was a well known fact that he wasn’t the most stable of people, having bouts of depression, some so bad that he contemplated suicide, not to mention having a violent on stage persona that caused god knows how many thousands of dollars worth of damage.
Everything about him was dark, morbid and corrupt. She deserved someone who wouldn’t spiral downwards and take her into the abyss with him.
Despite all the reasons he could think of that he would never have her, he realised that he still had to talk to her, to sort it all out.
Getting up off the bed, he didn’t even bother putting his boots back on. Locking up his room, he walked down the hall, bare foot, to her room.
* * *
Erin jumped when she heard a soft tapping at the door.
“Erin?” It was Trent. Closing her eyes, she stayed still, willing him to go away and leave her be. “Erin, please…”
It didn’t work.
“Please…talk to me…I’m sorry…I didn’t…” She heard him sigh. “It was a mistake, I didn’t mean to…” Covering her ears with her hands, she tried to block him out.
She didn’t want to hear any more.
He had said it was a mistake and he didn’t mean it, that was enough for her.
* * *
Trent knelt by the door, his forehead pressed against the wooden panelling, unaware the young woman inside was silently sobbing at the words he had chosen.
In truth he hadn’t meant any of what he had said, it wasn’t a mistake, far from it. He had had every intention of kissing her. But she didn’t want him; she had made that clear when she had run off.
He just wanted her to feel she wasn’t in the wrong; he wanted her to be happy.
“I don’t want to loose you Erin, please talk to me.”
Waiting for five more minutes, Trent gave up. Rising to his feet while his heart sank into the floor below him, he walked back to his room.
For the first time in his life, Trent felt like his heart had broken into a thousand pieces and he wasn’t so sure if it was worth putting them back together again.
Again...PLEASE REVIEW! x
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