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Tease Me	By : Zarim Category: > Kaoru/Toshiya Views: 1714 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
The dark living room of the Hara residence was quiet except for the low sounds of two intertwined figures. Sakito’s hands were lost under Miyabi’s clothes just like his tongue dwelled deep within his mouth. Miyabi said something indistinct in-between breaths. Sakito didn’t pay attention simply allowing the warmth from their kisses to fill their needs. He was concerned when Miyabi abruptly pulled away.

“Miyabi what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Saki-chan. I’m just very worried for Totchi. It’s getting late. He should be back by now”

“Didn’t you say he would make up with Kaoru today?”

“That’s what he said”

“Then they are probably out somewhere very much like you and I were a few moments ago enjoying themselves”

“Something doesn’t feel right”

“Why don’t you call him to check?”

“I called him earlier however his phone is disconnected”

“I’m sure there is nothing to worry about”

“I’ve been ignoring this eerie feeling all afternoon Saki-chan, but it’s becoming unbearable as time passes”

Not knowing what to do Sakito hugged Miyabi tight hoping it would comfort his beloved. They both heard the soft click of the front door closing. Miyabi ran off to meet his brother. Sakito went to see if Toshiya was alright as well, but staying a bit behind to leave space for the brothers.

Toshiya had hoped to sneak unnoticed directly into his room. He didn’t feel like meeting anyone but wasn’t surprised when his younger brother rushed in front of him. Toshiya had thought an excuse to tell Miyabi for being late that wouldn’t reveal the truth, but seeing his brother’s troubled face made him change his mind.

“Are you alright Totchi?”

“Yes”

“Oh thank God! I’ve been so worried! I thought you had an accident or there had been some big problem at the office or something”

“There was no accident and work is fine”

Miyabi followed Toshiya to the living room where they sat on the couch, whereas Sakito sat across them on a chair. Sakito’s concerned look switched between Toshiya’s sad and tired face to his lover’s upset one.

“Did the ceremony extend this long?”

“No, it was over quickly”

“Then where have you been all this time?”

“I needed some time alone. I’m sorry I worried you”

“Where is Kaoru? Did you leave him in his apartment? I was looking forward to seeing him again”

“Kaoru won’t come”

“Oh, I see. Why don’t you invite him some other time then? We could go have dinner or something”

“No Mi-chan, Kaoru won’t come at all…ever”

“What?! Why?”

“I…Mi-chan I don’t want to talk about it”

“But I thought you were going to talk to him today. Did you?”

“We met”

“Did you apologize to him? Did you explain?”

“I apologized”

“Then what happened? Why won’t he come?”

“He didn’t care”

“Did you tell him you love him?”

“…No”

“Do you?”

“I…I don’t know”

“Then forget about him. It’s not fair to Kaoru”

“But I…I think you’re right”

“I never knew you for a quitter, cousin”

All three people in the room stared at Shinya standing idly by the living room entrance. None of them had noticed his arrival while listening to Toshiya. Now that his presence was known Shinya advanced towards Toshiya until he stood before him. Toshiya lowered his face in an attempt to hide it from Shinya thus was surprised when he felt his cousin’s arms embracing him.

“I’m so sorry Totchi. All I wanted was to protect you”

“I know”

Shinya’s body began to shake lightly, his voice breaking between small sobs. Toshiya now held his cousin, cleaning the tears from his flawless face.

“I never thought I’d hear you say such a thing Totchi. You’ve always been strong, the one I look up to. Knowing that I’m the cause for this change is devastating”

“Shinya…”

The younger man cleaned his face from any trace of tears, standing up straight. He caressed Toshiya’s cheek with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry. I know what I have to do”

“Shinya, there is nothing left to do. I already…”

Toshiya’s words were stopped by Shinya’s gentle finger on his lips.

“I won’t let you down”

Shinya faced Miyabi holding both hands in his bony ones with determination in his eyes.

“Don’t let him do anything stupid”

“I’ll take care of him Shin-shin”

With that Shinya bowed and left the house. Miyabi held his brother close doing what Shinya had asked him to do and hoping his cousin could help fix this mess.

~o~o~o~

Kyo was surprised when Kaoru called to meet in the small park two blocks from his apartment building. He had expected Kaoru to drop by later to return his car, or a call from Toshiya’s place saying he would stay there. Getting this call could only mean that something went wrong.

Kyo had known Toshiya for some time through Die. He worked for Toshiya, but being Die’s friend gave him a closer relationship with his boss. That’s why he had agreed to help Toshiya by convincing Kaoru to go to that ceremony. He had bet everything on Toshiya to care enough for his best friend to reach him. It seems he had been wrong. Or perhaps something else happened, because he was certain of both their feelings.

It didn’t take Kyo much to find Kaoru in the park. He was sitting in the furthest bench from the main trail gazing off to the distance. Just one glance confirmed Kyo’s suspicions. Kaoru was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice his short friend close behind him.

Kaoru had driven aimlessly after leaving the site. When his eyes were clouded enough by the tears impeding his vision to drive the young man noticed the small park he had passed by many times before when visiting Kyo. The calmness and quiet of the place was exactly what Kaoru needed. After walking around for a while he settled on a small bench.

The relaxed environment quickly caught up with Kaoru. Little by little his mind and body adapted to the light atmosphere the shade and breeze provided. For the first time in these past few days he didn’t feel like an alien in his own body. Even when he tried to forget everything with work he felt empty and out of place. Now he breathed and the air truly went into his lungs, not the artificial shell he inhabited.

Remembering he still had Kyo’s car Kaoru called his best friend, asking him to meet in the park. He hoped the smaller one wouldn’t mind walking two blocks, but he didn’t complain simply agreed at once. Kaoru was really grateful he could always count with Kyo for everything.

Setting the phone away Kaoru returned to admiring his surroundings. He found himself thinking of Toshiya. He could picture the younger one’s lean figure sitting beside him, his long neck stretched back and eyes closed with filtered sunlight illuminating his fair face. It was as if the trees were allowing Kaoru see an alternate version of the same man he had ran away from earlier. Sadness filled him, but it wasn’t the same oppressing emotion that had been drowning him until now, instead it was the feeling of knowing what it could have been between him and Toshiya.

Kaoru was thinking how he would have loved to show this place to Toshiya when Kyo approached him. He never realized his friend had been watching him for some time. The small man sat next to Kaoru taking the space he had imagined Toshiya was.

“Thank you for coming. I know it was an odd request, but I didn’t want to be alone”

“Don’t worry about it Kaoru”

Kyo kept quiet, allowing Kaoru to say anything he felt like without being pressed to do so. Kaoru noticed his friend’s sad expression. He had expected him to be worried since he had asked to meet in the park without giving any details, but his face showed more than that. Kaoru remembered running into Kyo in Toshiya’s house that morning, he hadn’t given it much thought until now. He wondered how much his friend knew about his situation, and how much influence he might have had.

“Do you think Toshiya would like coming here?”

“He would”

“I’m sure he’s too busy. I wish he could take some time off and see this beautiful place”

“Why don’t you tell him that?”

“Our paths run in different directions”

“What makes you so certain of that?”

“I’m not…it’s stupid but I miss him already”

“You’re not stupid Kaoru”

“We barely know each other, why do I miss him so?”

“I can’t give you that answer. I’m not one to understand our hearts”

“Who can? I’m confident of my decisions, yet here I am thinking of him”

“I won’t be judge. All I want to say is that we all make mistakes”

“How long have you known Toshiya?”

“About two years, he’s been my boss for longer though. Kaoru I swear I had no idea. It wasn’t until I saw you in Toshiya’s house that I knew”

“I don’t blame you…at this point I don’t blame anyone”

“Just wanted to keep things clear”

“Thanks…for everything. You’ve been a great friend”

“Don’t mention it. I know it’ll be my turn someday. You know, I used to come here often, whenever I needed to focus. I liked a spot deeper down, it’s not too visible”

“I would have never imagined it would be this beautiful from the outside”

“Why don’t you stay here for a while longer? You can keep the car for now, I’ll walk back”

“I’d like that. Thanks again Kyo”

“Take care”

“You too”

Kyo stood up still not sure if he should leave his friend, finally deciding that indeed what Kaoru needed at this moment was some time alone. He lightly patted Kaoru’s back, which was answered with a soft smile. It wasn’t one of Kaoru’s sweet heartwarming smiles, but it was sign of his old self alright.

A bit apart from the bench Kyo glanced back to see Kaoru again lost in thought staring off at nothing. He sighed hoping it would really be alright for his friend. On his way to his apartment a familiar ringtone played from his phone. He hesitated to answer it, but knowing it could be beneficial to Kaoru he did.

~o~o~o~

Kaoru stepped into the dimly lit restaurant Kyo mentioned. He hadn’t expected his friend’s call asking him to meet here so suddenly, especially after he had told Kaoru to stay in the park for a while. Though he regretted leaving the comfort of the quiet place he did as asked and was now standing between the masses of cold hearted happy people unconsciously making him feel more isolated the more they idly gossiped between themselves. He knew Kyo was worried and perhaps was trying to cheer him up, besides when Kaoru had called his friend answered with no questions asked.

Swimming through the sea of tables looking for a familiar face Kaoru found one, but not the one he had expected. Shinya was sitting on the table Kyo had said he would be. The possibility of it being a coincidence or a misunderstanding was gone when the auburn haired man stood to greet him. Kaoru turned to leave at once, silently cursing having left his moments of peace to be disturbed once again by these people and making a mental note of how he would have a long talk with his friend for setting this up.

“Kaoru wait!”

People from other tables turned towards them making Kaoru more uncomfortable. He was tired of making scenes therefore he walked closer to Shinya so others wouldn’t overhear what they said, but refused to sit.

“I had nothing to talk with Toshiya, what makes you think I have something to talk with you?”

“Please Kaoru, let’s sit and talk”

“No! I’m done with you and your family! Go back and tell him that!”

“Toshiya didn’t send me”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“Believe what you wish. I’m here on my own accord. Please, I must talk to you. Just give me a few minutes”

“I’ve given him enough already, what more do you want from me?”

“Just to listen. Whatever you do after I’m done telling you everything is up to you, but I can’t let this go on without you knowing the whole truth”

“And what could you possibly tell me that I don’t already know?”

“Please sit down and give me a few minutes to tell you everything, then I’ll walk out of this place and you won’t ever have to see me again if you don’t want to”

Shinya’s tall and slim figure begging him to sit down suddenly seemed smaller and fragile. Kaoru noticed the slightly red and swelled eyes that could only mean the younger man had been crying. Some people were still staring at them for they seemed to be far more entertaining than their meals, while others hadn’t found them so interesting. For both reasons, to avoid even more humiliations by standing there, and to give Shinya a chance to end this all Kaoru finally took a seat across from the one Shinya had.

As soon as they both sat down Shinya seemed somewhat nervous, but with a much better composure as the previous moment. He took a sip of water and gazed intently into Kaoru’s eyes as if trying to figure out where to begin. Kaoru was surprisingly less nervous than he thought he would be. Perhaps he was ready to hear anything Shinya had to say.

“All of this is my fault”

“Shinya I don’t…”

“No. Kaoru don’t interrupt me please”

Kaoru nodded his head in acceptance to allow Shinya explain everything before he made any comments. Shinya took a deep breath and continued where he left.

“After Toshiya’s parents died he and Miyabi were almost left in bankruptcy because some people used him to their advantage and Toshiya was too young to notice. He’s always trust too much in people for his own good. Eventually he noticed and we managed to save most of it, but I vowed I would helped him ever since. I won’t let anyone ever hurt him again or anyone I care about like that. And that’s why I told Toshiya to leave you”

Kaoru’s eyes widened at this. Shinya made a gesture with his hand to stop him from interrupting, but Kaoru hadn’t intended to.

“I made a mistake. I acted too hastily and misjudged you. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, just for some understanding. I can’t bear to see my cousin, or you, so miserable because of what I did”

The younger man sat back sighing deeply. Kaoru stayed silent for a while. He understood everything that had been said, but not all of it made sense to him.

“Kaoru, it wasn’t Toshiya who abandoned you that day, it was me through him”

“You’re wrong. You may have told him your opinion, but it was still his choice”

Shinya looked down looking for words, but there were none. He tried to refute Kaoru’s statement, but this time the elder one held his hand up to keep him from interrupting.

“I understand what you did. You wanted to protect, or overprotect him. However he’s old enough now to make his own decisions. Just like you don’t want to see him hurt, I don’t want to be hurt again. Tell him I’m not mad, just disappointed. Goodbye Shinya”

Not wanting to show Shinya the small droplets that were slowly sliding down his cheeks, or to allow this conversation to go on any longer, Kaoru stood up and practically ran out of the establishment. He didn’t bother to look back to check if the younger one had followed or not.

Once in Kyo’s car Kaoru drove aimlessly, allowing Shinya’s words to repeat in his head. Images of Toshiya slipped in uninvited too. He completely forgot to scold his friend for setting him up.

“So what if it wasn’t his idea?! What difference does it make? I don’t even know how he feels about me… Great, now I’m talking to myself!”

Kaoru checked the area he was in to realize he had driven back to the park Kyo had left him. He pulled over immediately without stopping to think how he had made it back there, only caring for the peace and quiet the place promised.

~o~o~o~

It was dusk almost, but Toshiya didn’t mind. He had bolted out of the house the second he had heard news from his cousin, leaving his brother with only the promise he wouldn’t do anything stupid. Perhaps going to see Kaoru was something stupid, but he didn’t care for such minor details. The young man followed the instructions that lead to the park. Nobody was certain if he would find Kaoru there, but it was the best place to start looking. Shinya told him what he had done, and Toshiya just had to see him. He recognized Kyo’s car in the parking lot and knew he was in the right place.

With his heart racing and endless thoughts running through his mind Toshiya dashed out of his car towards the small park. Kyo had included directions to where to most likely find Kaoru within the park too, which he quickly followed. Before he knew it he found himself facing the small bench Kyo described, but Kaoru was nowhere to be found.

Toshiya was ready to search the entire park if he had to, but he heard a small splashing sound coming from further ahead. It was a place away from the path covered by tall grass, but Toshiya easily managed his way around it. A tiny pond was hidden by nature waiting for those who would venture to find it. There stood Kaoru, throwing stones into the water, unaware of anyone’s presence. Toshiya stayed half hidden in the grass allowing himself time to study Kaoru. He had gone through many possibilities and all kinds of scenarios for what to tell Kaoru once they met, but now here before his figure Toshiya was once again lost for words. He should have known this would happen.

After some time Toshiya forgot all his practiced speeches and figured those hadn’t done him any good before, so why would they now? Knowing he had to do something soon he did the first thing that came to mind, which was to join Kaoru in his rock throwing contest. Not the least startled Kaoru turned to face Toshiya.

“I was wondering if you were going to stand there all night”

“You knew I was here?”

“I heard noise and smelled your perfume”

Toshiya instinctively smelled himself, which amused Kaoru enough to laugh. An awkward moment arose between them and Kaoru turned from Toshiya, faking to be extremely interested in the stone he held in his hand. Toshiya felt it too, but he was determined to not let it ruin things further. He stepped closer to Kaoru. He had aimed to continue until he was at arm reach of the man, but he stopped to admire how the newly risen moon made a silver outline around Kaoru’s figure, which reflected on the water.

“This place is beautiful!”

“I thought you might like it”

“You did?”

“Yes”

“You thought of me?”

“Yes…”

A moment of silence now stood still between them. Toshiya finished shortening the distance between them, daring to lightly graze Kaoru’s arm with his fingertips. The elder one pretended he didn’t notice this act, but his skin betrayed him. Each one’s hearts racing like mad, carefully measuring their actions and next words. Both had already said and done too much, but somehow both were standing here now waiting, hoping, for a sign that would mean everything would be alright and the past was just some silly bad joke. Without realizing they both turned at the same time to face the other.

“Listen, Toshiya…”

“Hey, Kaoru…”

Just as the both started talking at the same time they stopped in unison. Once again they stared at each other not knowing what to do.

“You go first Kaoru”

“Ok. Shinya talked to me”

“I know, he told me”

“And I assume Kyo also told you where to find me”

“Yes, he’s been worried about you, about us”

“Toshiya, I still don’t understand why you…”

“I’m sorry”

Toshiya’s words came out so strong that made Kaoru stop talking. There were no tears in the young man’s eyes, but they still told Kaoru he meant those words with the same strength he had said them.

“I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again until you believe me. Kaoru, I’m sorry”

“Toshiya…”

“Can you find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a second chance?”

“I…I’d like to forget…”

“Kaoru, please!”

“Would you let me finish?”

Toshiya blushed ashamed and quietly nodded. Kaoru gently touched his warm cheeks softly smiling.

“I’d like to forget everything that happened, but the more I tried the more I found myself thinking about you, wishing you were close. Toshiya, you ask for a second chance, I ask to start over. Perhaps you’d think they are the same thing…”

The rest of the words were muffled by Toshiya’s lips firmly covering Kaoru’s. They embraced each other continuing their long desired kiss.

“Yes, anything for you! I love you Kaoru”

“This is the first time you say it”

“I know”

This time it was Kaoru’s lips the ones that enclosed Toshiya’s needy ones. They held each other closer and closer, almost afraid the other one would fade away.

“You know Toshiya, shutting me up with a kiss, so cliché!”

“If it works…”

“Toshiya”

“Yes?”

“I love you too”

They smiled and continued kissing until Toshiya’s phone broke their momentum. The thought of ignoring it for the continuation of tasting each other crossed both their minds but the incessant ringing threatened to keep ruining their moment if avoided. Toshiya gave Kaoru an apologetic smile, answered by a soft kiss on the brow.

“Hello?”

“Hey Toshiya, it’s Sakito. Sorry to pry but do you happen to be with Kaoru?”

“Well…yes…”

At first Toshiya was puzzled by Sakito’s call. However he could hear him now mumbling something on the other side, plus what was the unmistakable voice of his brother who seemed to be in an overexcited mode.

“I’m sorry to ask, but did you make up with him? Miyabi won’t shut up. I keep telling him that he’ll find out when you come back, but there is no convincing him”

“Tell him not to worry anymore, and that I might not be back home tonight”

The rest of his conversation with Sakito was lost due to Kaoru’s new rush of kisses. He caught something of an “ok” and “I’ll let him know” before the phone was taken from his hand and shut off entirely. There would be no more interruptions.

~Owari~
- 7
- 8
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