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Old Flames Die Hard	By : angelgirl9987 Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1866 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Gerard woke up earlier than normal, slightly confused as to why there was an arm around him. He quickly remembered that Bert had stayed with him that night. It would take him awhile to get used to waking up with someone next to him. It’d been so long since he’d regularly shared a bed with another. He carefully removed Bert’s arm from around his middle and slowly climbed out of the bed. He really needed some food…he hadn’t eaten anything for almost two days. Gerard made his way to the kitchen but stopped in the hallway after hearing his name mentioned in a conversation between what sounded like Bob, and Frank.

“What the fuck is Gerard thinking? He couldn’t even get out of bed for a month after that fucker crushed him, and he’s suddenly okay with everything…just like that? What the hell?”

“I know Bob, it’s messed up. I mean just a couple of weeks ago Gerard was so confused and hurt that he started kissing me.”

“Wait, WHAT?” Bob was shocked at this new confession. Sure Gerard and Frank had put on a show for the crowd during shows, but they had never really been more than cuddle buddies offstage.

“Yah, I had heard him whimpering all night so I went in and tried to comfort him by cuddling with him; and it worked, but when he woke up he was just so hurt by what had happened at the club. I told him I just wanted him to feel loved and he practically lunged at me. Bob, we had sex. He was so hurt by Bert that he felt the only way to feel loved was to have sex with me. I mean, I didn’t mind, I just wanted to help him, and we’re strong enough to not let it complicate our friendship, but honestly, when your best friend has to fuck you just so you can feel like you’re worth something…Bert really did a number on Gerard’s head.”

Bob was so in shock over hearing that his vocalist and guitarist had slept together that he couldn’t respond. He was starting to think the guys spent too much time together, if they were comfortable enough for a feel better fuck…then lordy what else was possible. He made a mental note to never wear less than boxers and a t-shirt around the guys.

“Bob? HELLOOOOO EARTH TO BOB!”
Bob shook his head and answered, “Oh sorry Frank, I was just in shock, I can’t believe you two slept together. Anyways, how are we gonna make Gee realize that what he’s doing is very dangerous. What if Bert’s got him fooled into believing that he has no ulterior motives, but then pulls a fast one on him? I really don’t want him to get hurt again you know?”

“I know, but he seems really set on trying to make this work. I don’t know why he gave into Bert so quickly, my guess is because he just wanted that kind of romantic connection again, but I can’t help but be very worried that he’s just blinded to Bert’s many flaws. Bert’s hurt him more than I ever thought one person could hurt anyone, yet Gerard has never stopped loving him. I’m scared that because his feelings for Bert are so strong, that he won’t be able to see it if he’s getting played again.”

“I guess that’s why we’re here,” Bob sighed. “We can’t let the same things happen again. We have to be watching them at all times.”

“Do you really think we should? Can we protect Gee forever? I mean don’t get me wrong I don’t want to see him get hurt again either, but how is he ever going to learn if he doesn’t make mistakes? If we follow behind him all the time and steer him away from the road bumps, he’ll never be able to steer around them himself. He’ll end up hitting them straight on and crashing into a wall of pain. We have to let him stumble sometimes so he can learn how to get back up.”

“Dude, Frankie you sound like his mother,” Bob chuckled in spite of the seriousness of the situation.

“Shut up man, you know I’m right.”

“Yah, yah. Let him stumble so he can get up…blah blah, but Frank do you really think that’ll work. I’m so scared we’re going to have to pick him up again when and if this relationship goes sour for the second time.”

Frank sighed and said, “I guess all we can do is wait and see what happens. The first sign of trouble we quietly intervene and try to get him to see it.”

Bob nodded his agreement and sighed deeply.

Gerard quietly walked back to his room without being seen or heard by either Frank or Bob. He had to get out of the house. He needed to be alone to think everything through. Had he been too hasty to bring Bert back into his life? Was Bert being so sweet just to play him again and generate publicity for the new album? Gerard didn’t know which way was up anymore and needed to clear his head. He left a note for the still sleeping Bert, saying he was going out for a bit, then left the house quickly so as not to be seen by the guys. He got into his car and drove for an hour before he realized where he’d ended up. It was a park outside of L.A. where Bert and Gerard had first told each other I love you. Gerard laughed at the wonder of how the subconscious works. Without even thinking about it Gerard had driven to the one place in the area that held the most memories of him and Bert. He wanted to clear his mind but instead ran smack dab into his problem. He found his thoughts drifting back to that night.

“…In your eyes, I lost my place; could stay awhile, and I’m melting. In your eyes like my first time that I caught fire, just stay with me lay with me now.” Bert sang lovingly to Gerard as he held his hand and gazed into his beautiful eyes. “Gerard, that song is about you. Every time I look at you, I feel my heart skip a beat. I can’t think clearly when I’m with you; it’s like my mind is clouded with images of you. When I’m not with you, I feel lifeless, like I’m not Bert, just a shell of him. Gerard…I love you.”

Gerard gasped. “Bert, I…I love you too.”

They’d made love right there in the grass in the moonlight, not caring who could see. They were in love; nothing and no one could stand in their way.

Gerard was brought back from his memories at the sound of his cell phone ringing in his pocket. He fished it out and sighed when he saw the name on the caller I.D. He answered the call with a quiet “Yah?”

“Gee where are you? Bert came running out of your room sobbing and saying ‘Oh he’s left me…I knew it was too good to be true.’ What’s going on?”

“I’m at a park just outside of town Mikey. I just needed to get out for a bit. I left a note for Bert, obviously he didn't see it. I’ll be back in a few hours okay?”

Mikey sounded apprehensive about letting Gerard be out on his own right now but said okay and hung up.

Gerard sat down on a nearby bench and started sobbing. He was so sure yesterday that he wanted to be with Bert again, but hearing Frank and Bob’s concern over Bert’s sincerity and his own emotional stability he didn’t know what he thought anymore. He knew he wanted to be loved and love in return, but was it a good idea to be with Bert after everything that had happened between them? Could he just put all the bitterness and pain in the past and move on and be okay? What would Bert say if he suggested that they just be friends for awhile, until he could trust himself to see things clearly? There were so many questions, and yet no answers. Gerard felt lost and hopeless. He’d just gotten back the one person he had loved most, and he was already having second thoughts.

Bob and Frank were right. He wouldn’t always have his band to look out for him. He had to learn to walk on his own. The question was, was he ready to walk alone for awhile, find out how to be happy on his own, without relying on others to make him feel okay? He didn’t know for sure, but he knew he had to try. You have to crawl before you can walk. It was time to crawl alone, so one day he could stand up and walk on his two feet without leaning on someone’s arm. Only then could would he be stable enough to let someone in on a deeper level. He wasn’t sure how well Bert was going to take this, but he knew that if Bert really loved him, he’d wait for him.
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Old Flames Die Hard