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Forbidden	By : Firithfalaswen Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1324 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Panic! At the Disco. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 8

Ryan’s POV

I was jealous. I was fucking jealous. I didn’t have any right to be, but I was. It was ridiculous too, she’s a woman and I’m gay… but then again she’s Sunny and we’ve known each other since before we learned how to walk. I guess somewhere in my head, Sunny could never be a girl and maybe I could be with her and love her as much as I loved Brendon. And she’d never hurt me as he did.

Brendon. That fucking bastard. I hated him as much as hated my self for loving him still. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, it didn’t help having to see him every day in class either, which made me slightly regret taking all of our classes together at the beginning of the semester. I guess that when you’re in love you don’t think about things ending, you just get blind and swear all of it will last forever. I was lucky to have Sunny, though, or at least part of her.

Maybe I’m just on a rebound, I thought at first, but now that Sunny was with Spencer, I realized how much I missed and needed her. I also experienced what she felt when I dragged her around with Brendon and me. She never made me feel uncomfortable and was always talking to me and trying to make me feel part of whatever convo they were having, but I just didn’t belong there and I actually wished more than once for us to go back to be just the two of us. Still, Sunny would take care of me, kicking me out of the bed to go to class, making sure I was eating and sleeping and doing my homework, picking me up when Brendon called and keeping me up when Brendon started showing signs of wanting to come back.

“Look, the guy hurt you, badly. And you know it.” She’d say. “Just make him wait, make him see that you can be without him.” And she was always right.

I had refused to go out in a couple of weeks, but that saturday I was feeling strangely good. Sunny had been home almost all day and we made pancakes. Also, Brendon had called and I didn’t run to pick it up, which made me feel accomplished. The phone chat was even better, as he apparently showed real signs of regret, so I said I’d think about it. My spirit was a little happier and by the time Spencer called Sunny and invited us both to a party I found myself saying yes and rambling about what to wear.

When we arrived to the party, Sunny attached herself to Spencer and I thought it was good, cause she had been taking care of me and neglecting him, so I started mingling with the other people. Most of them I had seen around campus and some I had classes with. I was nursing a beer and listening to the literature class guys argue about the meaning of Quiddich in Harry Potter when he came in.

Brendon. With a girl I didn’t recognize at first wrapping her arm around his waist. I decided I wasn’t going to let him ruin my night, so I walked through the living room to accidentally/on purpose collide with him.

“Oops! Sorry.” I said holding my beer and looking at him.

“Hi, Ryan!” Brendon said. The girl conveniently had vanished. After making 5 minutes of small talk, he started hinting at us again. “So, have you thought about it?”

“I have.” I said, gulping down the beer and grabbing another from the snack table.

“And?”

“I haven’t made a choice yet.” Brendon nodded.

“Okay. Hey, take as much time as you need.” He said giving me a small smile and looking at me hopefully. I got a little entranced by his stare, so that I didn’t even feel his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. “I miss you, Ryan.” He smiled again and sighed.

I felt my defenses slowly crumbling down, but I knew not to give in yet. So I moved my hand away from him. “And I said I’d think about it.” I said with the sternest voice I could manage, gripping my beer to hide the shaking of my hands. “I’ll see you around.” I could come up with anything else and I knew I had to get away from him, so I just walked to the lounge were Sunny was. I slumped on the couch and gulped down more beer, not even realizing how much I was drinking.

After a while I started feeling bad, I hadn’t eaten anything to eat that day beside the pancakes and all that beer was quickly shutting down my brain. So I made way for the bathroom, the light was on, but it wasn’t locked, so I simply entered, not even caring if someone was actually there. Before I could reach for the sink I heard a yell and I snapped my head to see two figures, one standing against the wall and the other sitting on the toilet. It took me a second to focus and recognize them.

“Ryan! Shit!” Brendon said tucking his dick back inside his pants and away from the girl’s mouth as she whipped it with the back of her hand. I recognized her now, from music class, her name was Regina. I felt suddenly sober and I bit my lip, glaring at Brendon. He had promised, he said we’d try again… but no. I catch him getting blown by Regina McTits. “I can explain…”

Brendon started talking, but I just turned on my heels and made it back to the living room with him on my tail, I gave a look to Sunny, who was on the couch with Spencer and she immediately stood up and came to me at the same time Brendon managed to catch my arm.

I snatched it. “Don’t you fucking touch me!”

“Ryan, please… I…” He started reaching for me again. But Sunny blocked him, standing in between us and glaring at him.

“You promised me, Brendon!” I said, biting my lip to prevent me from crying. “You fucking promised me!”

“Ryan--” He tried again, but Sunny slapped his hand away. I looked behind him and saw Regina by the end of the stairs.

“Go finish up, Bren. Regina’s mouth is waiting. Maybe then she’ll let you come in her boobs.” I said bitterly and turned again to leave. Sunny looked at me and then at Brendon in disbelief, her expression quickly changing to a rage filled one as she smashed her full fist on Brendon’s nose.

“You fucking bisexual bastard!” I heard Sunny yell right before I turned again and saw how her knee buried in his crotch. “Go get laid now, stupid cunt!” I was about to come back and get Sunny away from Brendon before she killed him (cause I know she would), but Spencer came in first and grabbed her waist, pulling her outside. I was standing there not really knowing what to do.

As soon as Spencer let Sunny go, she hugged me. “Wanna go home?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Okay.” She let go of me and walked back to her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m just going to take him home.”

“It’s okay.” Spencer said with a sigh. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, if you both don’t get drunk again.” He added with a half smile. Sunny giggled and hugged him, making my throat close up for a second. Then they kissed and I had to look away to avoid crying.

“Let’s go.” Sunny said grabbing my hand and waving goodbye to Spencer. She literally dragged my sorry self to the car, dropped me on the passenger seat and drove us home.
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