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Embryo	By : kawaiikyo Category: > Die/Kyo Views: 2492 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know Dir en grey, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
It had been a few days since the whole debacle with Kyo’s parents and the boy wasn’t much better. Even though Die had managed to soothe Kyo a little, he hadn’t expected everything to be perfect all of a sudden. However, though, the redhead was concerned with the boy.

Late the night before, Kyo had trouble sleeping and brushed it off as a bout of nausea. Die hadn’t bought the excuse and Kyo hadn’t bothered to keep up the act. He was languishing around without shame by then, acting very listless. More than anything, he wanted to sleep, or at least lie in bed. That was all that Die could get out of Kyo when he tried to speak with him.

The redhead understood that the massive upheaval from something like that with your family was terribly wounding—he, too, had falling out with his family had that led to his premature expulsion from home. It still hurt from time to time to have no true safety-nets to fall back on. Kyo’s situation was more severe, though, without a doubt. Die hadn’t been expecting a child and his family most definitely hadn’t out-right resented him.

“Kyo?” he asked gently, pushing the bedroom door open slightly. The boy was curled loosely around a pillow; sheet tangled around his lower half. His face was impassive, but at closer inspection, it was obvious that he had just finished crying not too long ago. Die just didn’t know what to do with him.

Kyo was still unsure if Die liked him or not, even though the redhead said that he would never hate him. Cuddling in the covers and pillow more, he kept his eyes on the redhead. He knew from when he moved in with Die the reason why he was working at the club. The boy wanted attention, any kind he could get since his family was never loving and usually ignored him.

“Come on,” Die pleaded for the umpteenth time. He wasn’t even sure what he was begging over anymore, to be totally honest. He seated himself on the edge of the bed and turned toward Kyo, sighing slightly. He was trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say. “Talk to me,” he said. That phrase was one that he had repeated too many times.

“Hold me?” He asked in a small voice, his arm reaching out once more to grab onto Die’s shirt loosely. Kyo didn’t know what to say, he just wanted to be held and actually feel loved. “Do you… hate me, Die?” A question he had asked often now, hoping that the question would always stay the same.

Die gripped Kyo’s arms and hauled the boy into his lap, holding him snugly in place. “I don’t hate you,” he answered simply, holding the blond’s chin. He stroked the boy’s skin idly, thinking to himself. It was true—he didn’t hate the kid in the least. A less reassuring reality loomed up beside it, though—he knew that he didn’t love the boy either. He was in a sort of middle-ground. Being with Kyo was a little like sleeping with an acquaintance. Unfamiliar to a certain degree, losing that novelty with each moment. It wasn’t unpleasant, but Die had enough sense to know that Kyo would get around to asking sooner or later and he would be placed on the spot.

All that the boy wanted to know now was if Die hated him or not. If his parents hated him, who’s to say Die wouldn’t? Knowing that for now, he felt slightly better. He curled up against Die and sniffled softly. “Thanks, Die…” Kyo whispered as he closed his eyes and rested his head on Die’s chest, his hands drawing in close to his chest as he nuzzled close.

“It’s not a problem,” the redhead reassured, smiling faintly to himself. The boy was emotionally needy, that much was painfully obvious. Die couldn’t find it in him to blame the kid, though. He would remind Kyo that he wasn’t unwanted as many times as necessary.

“…There are a lot of things I missed out on…” Kyo sighed, thinking back to his childhood. He never got to do even the simplest of things like blowing bubbles outside. “Would you… like to go to a park with me?” He asked timidly, looking up at the redhead. It was still early in the day still, so it would be a good time to go.

Die felt an incredulous look creep across his face. Out of nowhere, Kyo was asking to do something so childlike and the redhead couldn’t have denied him if he wanted to. “Just get ready and we will go,” he consented, smoothing down a few unruly tufts of blond on the boy’s head.

Nodding, Kyo managed to climb off of Die’s lap before standing and retrieving some clothes. Pulling on some pants and a shirt, he waited for Die to give the word and they could go. He waited at the door, pulling on a pair of sneakers, sitting on the floor and waiting. Kyo didn’t feel much energy to do anything at the moment, so he waited there on the floor.

“Here,” Die said, reaching down to haul Kyo to his feet. Once the blond was upright, he released his grip and opened the door for the boy. The redhead allowed him to pass by first, securing the door behind him. Hopefully, Kyo would be cheered up by this little excursion.

Giving a quiet thanks, Kyo walked to the car and climbed into the passenger side. He buckled himself in and looked out the window, watching as they pulled out of the drive way. His eyes were sad as he watched families play in their yards, wishing that he could have been like that with his parents. If only things were different. He was glad they weren’t at the same time, or else he wouldn’t have met Die.

The ride to the nearest park was too noiseless for the redhead’s tastes. Kyo stayed glued to the window, staring out at whatever the passed by. The only sound he heard from the other was a small sigh when they paused at a stop sign. Finally, they arrived and Die stopped the car, climbing out and helping the blond exit the vehicle. “What do you want to do?” he asked lightly, playfully bumping against Kyo’s shoulder.

“Can we swing?” His voice was soft and sad as he looked up at Die. Tentatively, he touched Die’s arm as if he was going to loop his arm around the others before drawing back quickly and shoving his hands in his pockets. Hanging his head, Kyo watched the ground as they walked closer and closer to the park.

“Sure—just don’t look so cheerful about it,” Die commented jokingly, steering Kyo in the directions of the swing-sets. “Go on, I’ll push you.” He hoped that Kyo would perk up a little; otherwise, the kid was going to tumble out of that swing once Die got to pushing him. That scenario upset him and he changed his train of thought to simply making Kyo feel better.

Sitting down in the swing seat and gripping the chains, Kyo sat up straight and watched as Die walked around behind him. Closing his eyes, he picked up his legs and held them tight to his thighs when he felt a pressure on the chains. One thing wanted to do but he wasn’t allowed do when he was a child was swing, his mother would always keep him inside and his father refused to let him go out if other people were around. If people came, he’d be taken home right away. The only thing he was allowed to do was to play in the sand box, but even then it wasn’t much fun.

“Hold tight,” the redhead advised, grasping the chains firmly. He backed up until Kyo was high enough off the ground and then let loose of him. The swing rushed forward and came back toward him quickly. Die pushed against Kyo’s back carefully, propelling him ahead again. He felt a smile working at his face—there was something very amusing to him about this.

Kyo’s shoulders hunched up and his head ducked as he felt himself go forward. He extended his legs out as he ascended and pulled them back as he moved backward. The rush made him gasp and he felt another push propel him. He pushed out his legs again, going higher this time. The beginnings of a smile pulled up his lips slightly as he relaxed his shoulders and looked up straight once more.

The boy seemed to become less and less wound up the longer Die pushed him. There was still a vague level of apprehension that never seemed to want to leave the kid, though. You would think that he had never been allowed to set foot in a park before. The redhead’s palms connected Kyo’s back again, sending him back into the air. He stepped back out of the way and then moved in again to give the boy another push, smiling to himself.

After a few minutes of swinging, Kyo used his feet to slow himself to a stop. Turning his head to look back at Die, he brought his hands to his lap. “Die… what did you when your mom let you go to the park?” He asked, wanting to know what normal kids did when their parents let them play outside. This was all new to him and even though he was enjoying swinging, he wanted to know what it was like to do those things he was left out of in his childhood.

That hit Die a little hard. He wasn’t used to having to recall his childhood, especially when he was talking about it with another person. It had been only his mother and him when he was young. “Well… we played games a lot, my mom and I,” he said, stepping in front of Kyo and shoving his hands into his pockets.

There hadn’t been that much time for the two of them to do things like going to the park. But when they had managed it, he remembered the extreme, uncomplicated joy of being with his mother and feeling wanted. Was this the first time Kyo was feeling even a little bit of that? “Mostly hide and seek—of course she knew where I was every time,” Die added, laughing a little. “She would catch me at the end of the slide or let me go on the jungle gym…” the redhead trailed off, smiling at Kyo softly.

“That sounds… nice…” He looked down at the sand below his feet and dug a small dent with his foot as he listened for Die to say anything else. When Die didn’t say anything more, he sighed and picked his head up, looking around the park. “Is it… okay if I go on the… jungle gym?” His voice was small and unsure as he waited for Die to respond.

By that point, Die wasn’t about to be surprised by any request Kyo had to throw at him. “Let’s go,” he said, helping Kyo out of the swing. Instead of letting go of the boy’s hand, he held it tightly with his own, rubbing at the skin with his thumb as they walked in the direction of the brightly painted edifice.

When they reached the bottom of the metal figure, Kyo was at a loss. He looked at it, then to Die before going over and grasping one of the bars. Sitting on a horizontal bar, he waited for Die to join him and show him what to do. Kyo had no idea how to play on one of these things; it was so new to him.

Die had never played on one of these hunks of metal. Even as a child, he found them pointless. He wasn’t stupid, though—he had seen the monstrosities before. He assumed that children roamed around on them and played elaborate imagination games.

That’s what he recalled from seeing kids hanging all over the huge contrivances.
Kyo kicked his feet as he looked around the contraption at the other things at the park. He then looked to Die, hoping that Die would lead the way on what to do. The boy didn’t budge from his spot, slightly scared of the metal trap. It didn’t seem too safe for him at the moment, but it still seemed like fun.

“You’re pregnant.” Die realized this out of the blue. It was becoming the forefront of his life, but for a moment he had forgotten about that fact. “Maybe you shouldn’t be on here.” It would be bad news if Kyo got tangled up and fell onto the ground.

“Okay… What can I do instead?” He asked as he kept his eyes on Die, his legs swinging slightly as he slipped his head and shoulders through the triangle shape and held onto the bars on the other side, leaning back as he hung there and still sitting on the bar. His eyes went back to looking at the other sets of equipment.

Die faltered, opening his mouth to speak before he realized that he wasn’t entirely certain. His eyes scanned the park, looking over the equipment available. For the most part, they had encountered the majority of it. That wasn’t including the toddler-filled sandbox and the strange, bouncy animals with their springy bases. Kyo was a little too advanced for either of those. There was a see-saw, but that didn’t seem very safe for the boy, in the very likely case that he accidentally plummeted down to the ground. When Die was a child, the teeter-totter frightened him for that very reason.

If the redhead didn’t come up with something, Kyo was going to leave very disappointed. Die didn’t want that to happen if he could help it. His gaze landed on the merry-go-round and he glanced over at Kyo. “What about that? Do you think it will make you sick?” Die asked, pointing at it. “That’s probably the last option we have here. Unless you want me to play tag with you or something,” he added with a small laugh, hoping that Kyo would be agreeable or, at least, not gloomy again.

The merry-go-round always looked so fun to Kyo when he was little. It didn’t seem so intimidating either. He nodded and stood from the metal contraption he was sitting on, pulling himself out from the triangle section. “I’ve always wanted to play on one…” Kyo added as he kept his eyes on the rotating round piece of metal with bars.

“Well, go on and get on it,” Die said with a smile. As strange as it was to the redhead to be providing a childhood to someone he was sleeping with, he was enjoying making the kid happy. Kyo needed it— that was for sure. The blond ran off it the direction of the merry-go-round and stood in front of it, sizing it up. Die followed after him, grabbing hold of one of the bars with his hand, shifting the entire thing a bit.

With the thing now secure enough for him to get on, Kyo grabbed a bar and hauled himself on. He sat down in the middle, turning to face Die and gave him a small smile. Grabbing two bars, he held on tight and nodded to the redhead, letting the redhead know that he was ready.

Die placed his hands on the bar in front of him, making sure he had a tight grip before starting. He gave a sort of push and unlocked his knees, rushing forward. The merry-go-round gave a faintly metallic squeak and complied, starting to turn. By the time Die had run it in a circle several times, it was gaining momentum and running the risk of getting ahead of him. The redhead couldn’t help but laugh as he pushed himself to run faster, keeping up with the spinning entity.

Kyo’s hands gripped the bars tightly as he clenched his eyes shut. Hearing Die’s laugh made him open his eyes to the world spinning around him. He couldn’t help but laugh too, actually enjoying himself now. His eyes tried to focus on Die every time his blurred figure passed, but it was too hard for him to do so. Closing his eyes again, he couldn’t help the grin that managed to crawl onto his lips.

The redhead grinned, hearing the laughter bubbling out of the other. Die’s legs labored harder to make him rush faster and his lungs worked frantically, his own laughter conflicting with the need to keep him with oxygen. His fingers tightened on the bar and he jumped, hauling himself onto the merry-go-round and securing his place with the bar above him. The transition from running to sitting on the spinning thing made him feel a little woozy, but he was still amused. Kyo’s blond hair was the only thing in the distorted view that seemed clear enough to distinguish.

The blond’s laughter seemed to grow more until it slowed to a stop, leaving him panting for breath and grinning up at the redhead. Carefully, he pulled himself to the edge of the merry-go-round and sat there as he tried to regain himself, his eyes still wanting to go around like the merry-go-round. Sighing, he shook his head and smiled up at Die. “Thanks, Die.”

The merry-go-round was still by then, but Die felt as though everything was scrambled up. Leading the front of this little betrayal of perception was the ground, which seemed to waver as he tried to focus on it. Running in circles was definitely not his thing. “No problem,” he said, clenching his eyes shut for a moment and then reopening them.

“This was fun.” He gave a small smile before carefully standing and getting his bearings once more. Waiting for Die to regain himself, he looked around at the park. Tag sounded fun, but the redhead was winded, and so was he, so it didn’t seem as fun as it did when Die first suggested it.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Die remarked, standing up. “What do you want to do now?” he asked, glancing around. He was glad that Kyo seemed a little less bothered. The sound of light-hearted music and excited children caught the redhead’s attention and he spotted an ice cream truck rolling along, slowing to a halt. He chuckled, looking at Kyo. “Do you want me to get you some ice cream?” A smirk that he couldn’t help came to his lips.

“Ice cream sounds good.” Kyo nodded and took Die’s hand as they walked to where the truck stopped to distribute its goods. He let Die lead the way before they found themselves in the line. Looking at the selection, Kyo tugged on Die’s shirt and pointed to what he wanted when they got to the front of the line.

The redhead dug out the amount of money needed from his wallet, hastily stuffing it into his back pocket again. He accepted the ice cream from the man when it was ordered and produced for them. Die gave a small, polite nod to the man and stepped out of the way of the people behind them. “Here you go,” he said to Kyo, relinquishing the ice cream to the boy.

Taking a lick of the soft desert, he hummed happily. “Yum. Thanks, Die. You want to try some?” He offered, holding the cone up to the redhead. First real visit to the park and first ice cream cone from the ice cream truck and he was enjoying every moment. Kyo had never had this much fun at a park until now.

“Sure,” he accepted, not about to put a damper on the kid’s enthusiasm. The redhead licked the ice cream and smiled at the boy. He reached and smoothed down the tousled blond hair affectionately, letting his hand rest there on top of Kyo’s head for a moment. “Are you having fun?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, for once.” He nodded and looked up at Die. Licking at the ice cream, he gathered up all the droplets threatening to drip onto his fingers. Kyo moved to sit down on a nearby bench and watched all the kids play, no longer feeling like he was missing out on something. “Die… I think I might be okay to go back to work now. I mean, I’m feeling a bit better, but I don’t know how the morning sickness will affect it.”

“If that’s what you want to do,” Die said, watching the blond as he ate his ice cream. Part of him was uncomfortable with Kyo working in a place like that now that he knew that the kid was pregnant with his baby. It was only a mild feeling of unease, though, and he could get past it easily enough. “When do you want to go back if you do?”

“Next week, just to see how this week goes.”Kyo replied as he finished off his ice cream. With all of it gone, he sighed happily. “Thanks a lot, Die. I feel much better now.” He didn’t need his parents anymore. All he needed was right here with the redhead. “When do we start my home schooling?” He asked, the thought just now popping into his head.

“Hopefully, we start it soon.” Die was still in the process of obtaining what he needed to begin instructing Kyo from their home. It would be fairly easy though; Kyo was a smart kid. That much was obvious—otherwise, he would have buckled under the strain of everything he had gone through and failed miserably.

“Okay. I just don’t want to have to drop out… I at least want to finish high school.” He stated as he moved to lean against Die with a heavy sigh. “I’m ready to go home now.” It felt weird to refer to Die’s house as home now, but that’s what it was now.

Die nodded and wrapped his arm around Kyo, rubbing the boy’s arm briefly. Standing up, he extended his hand to Kyo and helped him rise to his feet. He laced his fingers with Kyo’s and they headed back to the car. They reached the vehicle and settled inside, heading back home.

Once home, Kyo got out of the car and went to the front door, standing and waiting for Die to unlock it. With the door unlocked, he went inside and went to the kitchen for something to drink. His eyes landed on the scrubbing brush he used to clean and stopped, moving to pick up the brush. It was tempting, but he felt much better now and the house was still clean from the last time he went on a cleaning spree. He made sure of that though and told Die he’d clean all over again if he so much as made a spot on any surface.

Die followed Kyo into the kitchen; having the same interest for a drink that Kyo had expressed on the car ride home. He paused, though, watching Kyo obviously debating over cleaning again. “Don’t you even think about it,” Die warned, grabbing a can of soda from the refrigerator.

“This place had better stay clean then.” He put the brush back down by the kitchen sink and moved back to the fridge. “I will go back and clean everything again if you leave a dirty spot on any surface in this house.” Kyo warned, grabbing his drink of choice, milk, and poured a glass. “I had nothing to do at home before so all I did was clean.”

“I enjoy cleanliness as much as the next person,” Die said, smiling at Kyo, “but there is such a thing as too much. Thank you for cleaning up around here all the same, though.” He paused and took a drink of his soda, waiting a moment before speaking again. “Do you want to do anything tonight?”

“Want to watch a movie?” It was the only thing that the blond could think of, but it worked. “Hey Die… I was thinking of something lately and I was wondering… Could I dye my hair?” He was hoping to have it a red hair color, having been contemplating on it before he even met Die. His hair had grown out, he didn’t bother to bleach it, and it was already to his shoulders, his black roots showing. The shade of red he had in mind was deeper than Die’s vibrant red and he hoped he could have black with it as well.

“A movie sounds nice,” the redhead said, pausing to think. Would it be safe for Kyo to dye his hair because of the chemicals in the dye? He had heard that it was unsafe before, but he had also heard that it was alright to do so. Obviously, Die needed to look into that. “If it’s safe, sure. We’ll go out and buy you some dye if it’s alright for you to dye your hair.”

“Okay. We can probably look on the computer and find out the information on it there…” He didn’t care if they looked now or not, he just wanted to put it out there. Moving to sit on the couch with his glass of milk, he pulled his legs up and sat cross legged as he waited for Die to get to the movie selection. “Pick any movie; I don’t care what we watch.”

“I’m in the mood for some horror stuff,” Die said, rifling through his DVDs. He passed a few before settling on one and opening the case to retrieve the disk. “If you decide that you don’t like it, we can take it out.” The redhead opened the DVD player and placed the disk in the tray, closing it. Pausing, he flicked the lights off to make the room dark. There was no fun in a horror movie with the lights on, he felt. He settled on the couch beside Kyo, pulling the boy close to him.

“Sounds fine by me.” Kyo nuzzled close to Die and sipped on his drink as he watched the movie go by. By the middle of the movie, he was leaning heavily against Die and fighting off sleep. He was exhausted from the long day; all of the things going on were taxing physically and mentally. A nap sounded good, but he didn’t want to disappoint Die, so he fought the urge to sleep as best as he could.

The longer they sat there, the more pronounced the presence of the blond resting against him became. Die glanced down from time to time and found eventually that Kyo was asleep. For the past few times the redhead had checked, the boy had managed to jerk himself awake. This time, he was definitely out. All Die did was adjust the other a little more comfortably against him, content to let him sleep. He was getting used to the idea of making a family, he found. It made him happy.

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