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Until You Lose Your Breath	By : theProphet Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. Don't know Dir en grey and don't make any money from this.

Chapter List
- 7
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-How could I forget it?
-Calm down Kaoru, -Die tried but in wane.
-Really! How could I?!
-It’s not the end of the world. It’s only tomorrow…
-Yeah, Kaoru, you have lots of time, -Toshiya added.
Kaoru sat down and worriedly looked at the calendar. He forgot that tomorrow was Die’s birthday and he, like other band members, was invited. He overheard the guys talk about it and remembered.
-Oh, calm down, Kao, -Die laughed. –Who would ever think about a birthday when so many things happened? Relax and don’t forget to come tomorrow. That’s the most important thing.
-I won’t, -Kaoru mumbled desperately thinking what present he should buy for Daisuke.
Shinya sat listening to them. He thought what he should do about it. He knew Die couldn’t just say to him that he’s not invited. But what to say as an excuse? He didn’t have any ideas. After he confessed his love to Die, Die didn’t even greet him in the morning. Obviously he doesn’t think that what he has heard was great news.
-Are you ok? –Kyo asked. He was sitting next to Shinya and observed the others from the distance.
-Yes. I just don’t think that Die would like me to come… But I don’t know how…
-Oh, come on! Don’t be a wimp! You think I want to go there and be in the same place as Kaoru after work? But it’s a birthday party! Just go there and have fun!
Shinya sighted.
-We’ll be two freaks there: the scar face and the mad-suicidical-psycho-man, -Kyo grinned.
-I’m glad you are seeing that psychiatrist, -was all Shinya said.
***
Everyone was occupied by something. There were lots of people Shinya didn’t know so he sat in the corner and just observed everyone not wanting to talk to anybody. He had a glass of red vine in his hand. It reminded him of blood so he didn’t feel like drinking it.
I’ve started to think like Kyo… Shinya mused and put the glass aside in disgust. Die wasn’t anywhere in the sight and he was glad for that. He bought him his favorite Adidas t-shirt for a present. It was a stupid present, he knew, but there was no point in trying to give him something nice. Die would throw it away one way or another.
-Hi! –someone suddenly screamed in his ear and made him jump. Shinya turned and saw Die. A very drunk Die.
-Hi, -Shinya replied.
-Can I get a present from you? –Die asked smiling stupidly. Shinya could smell a scent of alcohol even from the distance.
-I’ve already given you one.
-Oh, that one! It’s not a present! I’ve got lots of them in my cupboard! I can show you!
-I’m sorry you didn’t like it…
-But you still can give me something I’d like much better!
-What could it be?
Die put a hand on Shinya’s thigh and started to caress it going up until he reached Shinya’s crotch. Then he leaned closer so that his body covered Shinya’s one from the view and took Shinya’s hand. He guided it to his own body and put Shinya’s hand on his own crotch. Shinya blushed furiously and was totally at a loss of what to do. Die closed his eyes and started to massage his member with Shinya’s clumsy fingers.
-I want… you to pleasure me… Shin-chan… You said that you find me attractive, you said that you love me… so why not do this for me, huh?
Shinya didn’t answer, but his fingers started to caress Die’s member through the pants slightly. Die suddenly stood up and almost dragged him with himself from the room full of people to a quiet corridor. He pushed Shinya in the toiled and locked the door. Then he pinned the drummer to the wall.
Why am I letting him do this? Why am I letting him use me like that? It’ll only hurt in the morning… it’ll only hurt more than it hurts now…
Shinya felt that Die started to undo his fly.
-Daisuke, please… -Shinya said not understanding himself if he was pleading to stop or to go on.
But it looked like Die didn’t hear him at all. He took off Shinya’s pants and boxers then undressed himself as well. He was already hard and needy. Shinya trembled seeing his beloved in such an intimate position, seeing him get hard because of Shinya…
-Lift your leg, -Die said.
Shinya didn’t do that immediately and Die got impatient.
-Lift your fucking leg!
Shinya obediently lifted his left leg and Die immediately took it in his hand slightly lifting up whole Shinya’s skinny body.
He knows I’d let him do whatever he wants with me and he’s using this opportunity. Well… I’m an easy prey, so go on, Daisuke… do it…
And Die did that without any warning. He thrust himself into Shinya’s body without a slightest preparation. Shinya managed to suppress his scream to the minimum by biting into his knuckles. The pain was huge. He’s read in the books that people need to be extremely careful during anal sex, but he didn’t expect it to be that painful. No wonder Kyo couldn’t force himself to give up to Kaoru.
-Die… stop it…
Shinya felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t want this pain. He couldn’t take it.
-Dai… su… ke… -he managed to say in between the frantic and forceful thrusts. Die was hitting him hard with his hips. His one hand was still holding Shinya’s leg, other one was holding Shinya’s shoulder, pressing it to the wall. Shinya was hugging Die’s shoulders to steady himself. He couldn’t see Die’s face, but he could clearly see how Die’s cock was thrusting rhythmically into him. He hugged Die tighter and closed his eyes. It was no point in pleading him to stop. He had to endure it.
Finally Die’s moves quickened, he started to thrust even with a bigger force and after some more seconds with a loud moan he released himself inside of Shinya. For some more time he didn’t even move, then suddenly Shinya felt him pull out of his body and stand aside. Shinya felt his legs give up and he collapsed. The pain overtook his senses and Shinya didn’t even notice how he slipped into unconsciousness.
***
Shinya opened his eyes and for a moment he couldn’t understand where he was. It was not his bed. Then the memory of past day’s events came. He tried to sit up but the wave of pain made him lie back again.
-Finally awake, -he heard Die’s voice and turned his head. Die stood in the doorway. He was dressed up and looked like the hangover was not torturing him at all.
-What time is it? –Shinya asked quietly.
-Almost eleven.
Die came closer and sat down on the bed. Shinya lowered his eyes. He didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted to go away as soon as possible.
-Shinya…
-It’s ok, Daisuke, -Shinya interrupted. –You don’t need to apologize.
-But I hurt you. When I saw all the blood in the morning I… Shin-chan…
-It’s ok, -Shinya finally managed to look Die in the eyes. –I know that you wanted an easy lay and you got it. Not even my ugliness repulsed you…
Die lied next to Shinya so that his face was inches away from the drummer’s one.
-Shin-chan… Please, forgive me… I’m so sorry that I caused you this pain. It must have hurt like hell…
-I’m not angry with you, -Shinya whispered.
-I don’t want to call it a rape, but that’s what it was and it makes me hate myself for that. How could I ever do something like that to the person I lo…
Shinya looked him in the eyes suddenly.
-I think that’s the only explanation, Shin-chan… I can’t deny it any longer, -Die said, not looking at him.
-Deny what? –asked Shinya with a trembling voice.
-That I… you know…
-No, I don’t!
-Totchi made me understand what it was that I felt for you. Remember what he asked me in the corridor?
-No.
-You do.
-No! Say it! I need to hear it! Daisuke… please…
Shinya grabbed Die’s shirt with a trembling hand and pushed him even closer.
-Die… Do you…
-Yes, Shinya, I… I think I love you…
Shinya felt tears rolling down his cheeks. His head started to spin and he suddenly felt weak.
-Aren’t you happy? Shin-chan, I thought you loved me…
-I love you too, Die…
-So what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
-Because I’m so happy… I’m so…
Shinya started to sob violently and Die took him in his arms and hugged him.
-Please, Shin-chan, can you forgive me for what I did yesterday?
-I’m… not… angry, -Shinya managed to say between the sobs. –It’s just the pain that… was… immense… I could have stopped you… if I would have put my mind to it…
-Shin-chan…
They lay like that for some time until Shinya finally managed to calm down. Die was holding him in embrace lightly stroking Shinya’s hair.
-Is this a dream? –Shinya asked silently.
-No, Shin-chan, it’s not.
-But you always teased me…
-But I never hated you. I teased you because only then you’d actually talk. It was so hard to make you notice that I ever existed.
-I was in love with you for so long… I avoided you because this way it hurt less…
-Shinya…
Die kissed his forehead and smiled.
-My stupid Shinya… my Shinya…
-Yours… It sounds wonderful… -Shinya smiled.
-Yeah, it does.
After some more minutes Die said:
-What’s this? –amusement was clear in his voice. Die’s hand was on Shinya’s hard member. Shinya flushed.
-I can’t help it, -he said shyly. –When you’re that close to me, I just can’t do anything to control that part of my body…
Die lowered himself and took the sheets away exposing Shinya’s naked body in a day light. Shinya blushed and wanted to cover himself but Die didn’t let him.
-You’re so beautiful…
-Don’t lie to me.
-Shinya, I don’t care about some scars on your face! Why can’t you believe in my words? You still are a pretty boy. You are pretty! Pretty, pretty, pretty… Why don’t you believe me?
-And why don’t you believe me when I say that I’m not angry at you for yesterday?
Die smiled and kissed Shinya’s flat belly.
-Let’s make a deal. I believe that you’re not angry at me and you’ll believe that you’re pretty. How about that?
-I think it’s a good deal, -Shinya smiled looking down at Die.
-Good, -Die smiled. –Now I need to make up for my rudeness yesterday.
Die kissed Shinya’s member and Shinya could only look in amazement at his lover. My lover.
When he came into Die’s mouth all the pain and heartaches were forgotten. He felt Die lie next to him again, so he snuggled into his embrace and fell into a pleasant slumber.
***
-Shin-chan, -Die whispered. –Are you asleep?
-No, -Shinya murmured, but didn’t even stir.
-Shin-chan…
-Yes?
-I’m starving.
Shinya giggled but didn’t do anything more.
-Come on, let’s get something to eat. There should be left plenty of cake from yesterday. Cake and coffee for break… for dinner, huh… Well?
-Ok, -Shinya said but still didn’t move.
-Oh, come on!
-I’m so tired, -Shinya murmured.
-I’ll carry you then, -Die smiled but Shinya finally decided to get up.
-Thank you, but I can walk myself.
He wanted to get up but suddenly stopped.
-Eee… Where are my clothes? –he asked with a faint flush on his face. Die shrugged.
-You can go to the kitchen like that.
-No! I’m naked!
-That’s the point, -Die grinned, but seeing a horrified look on Shinya’s face he gave up. –I’ll look for it.
Die managed to find Shinya’s pants and a t-shirt and Shinya felt much relieved. They went to the kitchen. Die immediately lighted a cigarette.
-How stupid I was to believe that you’re hungry!
-I am. But I wanted to smoke as well. Can you, please, boil some water?
Shinya nodded and quickly made coffee for them both and brought the food. He had some problems when he wanted to sit. Die watched him with a concerned look on his face.
-Does it hurt that much?
-Yes, but it’s not like I can’t bare it.
Die felt very sorry but there was really nothing he could do about it.
-Just be more gentle next time, -Shinya smiled taking his coffee.
-I will treat you like a princess.
Shinya giggled and Die looked at him curiously.
-What? –Shinya asked.
-You never giggle or do things like that!
Shinya blushed.
-Now that’s more like you, -Die smiled, then suddenly leaned forward and took Shinya’s hand. –I love you so much, Shin-chan.
-I love you too, -Shinya smiled gently. –I still can’t believe this is really happening. My biggest dream came true. But…
-But?
-What we’ll do now? How about the others? It will be so hard to hide our relationship…
-Why do you want to hide it?
-It’s not their business and… I don’t think that Kaoru would like it. After what happened between him and Kyo he would really object to us starting a relationship.
-Huh… I don’t care if others know or not. But I’m not going to end everything if they don’t like it. They’ll have to accept it.
-Yes, but…
-If you want it to be a secret, it’s ok.
Shinya didn’t say anything and Die understood it as yes.
-Don’t worry, Shin-chan, -Die smiled sympathetically. –I don’t really care. We can have our little secret.
-Thanks…
-Well, one way or another, nobody would ever guess that we could be together.
Shinya suddenly lowered his head and blushed.
-What? Don’t say that somebody knows.
-Kyo knows…
-How come?
-I told him that there’s someone I love and… well, he just guessed that it’s you.
-Are you going to tell him that we’re together now?
Shinya just shrugged.
-You know what I think? –Die asked. –I think that sooner or later all four of them will know about us. We can try to hide our relationship, but it will be very hard.
-I need time to comprehend the situation myself.
-What’s there to comprehend?
-It’s so unexpected and unreal… I need to understand the situation myself…
Die just nodded and blew out the smoke. Shinya coughed a little and gave Die a quite angry look.
-Don’t say that now that we’re together you’ll make me quit smoking.
-I’ll try, -Shinya answered with determination in his eyes. –I want you to live as long as possible.
-Huh… Well, you’d better feed me so that I wouldn’t starve to death first.
Suddenly the look on Shinya’s face was one of pure horror.
-What? What is it?
-Miyu… She’s been all alone from yesterday! She’s got nothing to eat!
Shinya jumped and ran to the corridor. Die followed him and found him already putting on his shoes.
-It’s just a dog, Shinya. Stay with me.
-I can’t leave her starving!
-Can I go with you then?
Shinya stopped dressing and looked at him.
-I don’t know… we’ve just became a couple… We are a couple, aren’t we?
-Yes.
-But it’s all so soon… I…
-Ok, I’ll see you on Monday.
Shinya smiled and wanted to give him a quick kiss before going out, but Die caught him, embraced him and kissed him a long and passionate kiss. Shinya didn’t struggle at all. He put his hands on Die’s neck and kissed him back. But after a minute he broke the kiss and smiled to Die.
-I have to go.
Die nodded and smiled. When Shinya went out he closed the door and went to the window. He waited until Shinya showed up and when he did, he watched him go to his car and drive away.
Die went back to the kitchen, sat down and took a sip of coffee. He felt as if he was in a trance. He still couldn’t believe he did all this: had sex with Shinya, confessed being in love with him, confirmed them being a couple and did a blow job to the sweet drummer.
But he didn’t regret it. For the first time in his life he clearly knew what he wanted. He wanted Shinya. He was always attracted to the drummer, but always dismissed the thought as impossible. Now everything seemed to him so easy. The hardest job was done. They finally are together. He now will take care of Shinya and will make sure that the drummer will be only his.
Knowing that Shinya loved him didn’t make this complicated at all.
***
The pone rang after almost three hours of Shinya’s departure. Die picked up the phone.
-Moshi moshi.
-Daisuke… I’ve missed you so much…
Die felt that a huge smile appeared on his face.
-I can come over, -he suggested.
-That would be nice, -he heard a shy reply. –And please could you bring some cake with yourself? I didn’t have a possibility to even take a smallest bite of it.
-Sure! I’ll be in less than an hour.
-I’ll be waiting for you, -came a silent reply and the line was cut off.
Die couldn’t stop grinning. There was nothing in the world that could have spoiled his mood now.

TBC

No, it wasn’t a rape. I hope when I was writing it (ages ago) I managed to make at least that clear enough :))) Shinya was just desperate and he yielded to Die. If Shinya would have really wanted, he would have pushed the dead-drunk Die away. So it was just a stupid drunk Die being too horny and Shin being too desperate and pathetic thinking it’s all he’s ever going to get. A situation not so rare in fanfiction, unfortunately… >_<
And lots of sap in this chapter again >_< I used to love it sooooo much! LOL
Comments??? :)))
P.S. BustyXD thank you for your comment and welcome to the community ^^ It really flatters me a lot to know my stories were the reason of you signing up ^^
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Until You Lose Your Breath