The Rose and Thorn | By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3123 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I still don't know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic in real life. Needless to say, this is a work of fiction. I make no profit from this and this is just for fun. |
Author’s Note: ‘I don't think anyone, until their soul leaves their body, is past the point of no return.’ - Tom Hiddleston
Chapter Eight: Pressure Cracks
“She fucking ran away!” roared a ragged, broken voice as the sound of breaking glass came from the dressing room. John and Ginger glanced at the closed door with identical worried looks while Pogo leaned against the wall beside it. The keyboardist simply cleaned his black nails, whistling merrily while Tim stood beside him quietly.
“Do you think we should go check on him?” the drummer asked, looking at his fellow musicians with a helpless expression.
“Not unless ya wanna end up with more shit thrown at ya,” Pogo cackled softly, his voice holding an oddly serious edge. Ginger only winced, remembering what happened when Manson had noticed Raven had fled after the song. Still, the acne scarred male found himself wondering if the singer should be left alone right now.
“Let him calm down for a bit,” Tim rumbled in a far too neutral voice, his gaze fixed on both Ginger and John 5. The pair only sighed softly, each ruffling their hair in exasperation.
“Was this what you were hoping for?” the drummer asked the mohawked man next to the door. Pogo only grinned widely and gave his fellow band member a wink.
“I never hope for anything. I find things are so much more interesting when I just do,” he continued, a satisfied smirk on his face as something heavy crashed into the door. The pair across from him only shook their heads in unison, identical looks of exasperation on their painted faces.
“I honestly wonder what he expected, singing a song like that,” Ginger sighed out, leaning his head against the wall as he pulled up a knee to prop an elbow on.
“He wanted to show her how much this whole thing was hurting him,” John 5 replied softly from his left, pulling his own knees up to his chest and resting his white coated chin on them.
“I don’t think she took it like that,” Pogo replied before Ginger could. Then he was shoving himself away from the wall and glancing towards where the tour busses were parked.
“Knowing Raven, she probably took it as him telling her how much she personally hurt him. She probably thinks this distance is the best thing for him,” he continued, running a hand over the top of his mohawk. Ginger opened his mouth to ask how the keyboardist could make such an assumption but shut it before he even began.
Now that he was thinking about it, Pogo was likely right. Raven had almost always found some way to place the blame on herself, a habit that drove all of them crazy. Looking up to tell Pogo this revelation, the drummer was shocked to see the band member striding toward the parking area. “Gacy, where the fuck are you going?” Ginger asked with a suspicious tone, shooting to his feet to follow the troublemaker.
“Raven needs us,” he whispered simply, putting more speed into his long strides. Instead of arguing, the drummer motioned for Tim and John 5 to stay behind. While all of them had grown to love the female over time, she was much more close to him and Pogo. Besides, the other two were much closer to Manson anyway.
Amanda and Jonathan were trying to coax Raven out of the back room when the pair came bursting into the tight tour bus. Jonathan’s band was on their feet as one, creating a human wall between the two men and the pair behind them. “Ginger? Pogo? What are you doing here?” came a female voice as Amanda poked her head around Munky. Davis, on the other hand, was furious; shoving his way past his band to level a glare at the intruders.
“We saw what happened and we knew she needed us,” Pogo answered steadily, not even blinking at the singer’s rage.
“We’re her friends, even without her being in a relationship with Manson. In the short time we knew her she became family,” Ginger offered, trying to defuse the tense situation. Thankfully Amanda was on their side and came up to place a reassuring hand on Jonathan’s arm.
“It’s okay Jonathan, I don’t think they mean any harm,” she whispered, giving a smile to Ginger but giving Pogo an incredulous glance. The keyboardist was unpredictable but he seemed to know when to be a pain in the ass and when to be serious. Davis only gave her a disbelieving look before glaring at the blonde pair. Behind them, the band dispersed back to their original positions; satisfied that they wouldn’t be needed.
“He really fucked her up,” the metal singer sighed before he led the way to the closed door.
“What did he sing?” Amanda asked as she walked beside the bleach blonde drummer.
“‘Tainted Love’,” the musician sighed, grimacing when the smaller female gasped slightly.
“No fucking wonder she was sobbing like that,” the curly haired woman whispered, looking at the closed door with much deeper concern.
“He didn’t mean to make her feel guilty. He just wanted to tell her his life had been Hell without her,” Pogo replied softly, earning a surprised gaze from the other three people. Then he was reaching forward and knocking gently on the door.
“Raven, it’s Pogo and Ginger,” the keyboardist called in a shockingly gentle voice. Then, to everyone’s shock but Gacy’s, the door opened a small crack.
Raven’s miserable, pale face poked out of the opening, a shocked look on her face. “It really is you,” she gasped, before her gaze moved to Jonathan and Amanda. Releasing a small sigh, she opened the door more to allow the small crowd in with her. To everyone’s shock, Pogo held up a halting arm.
“Just me and Ginger for a few seconds,” he whispered, grabbing hold of said drummer and dragging him into the room. The door was shut and locked before anyone quite realized just what happened.
Before Raven even realized just what happened, she was pulled into a hug by Pogo. “You okay lil sis?” he whispered, his arms shaking slightly. It was then the dam broke and the heartbroken female began sobbing. Instead of jerking away and shoving her to Ginger like she thought he would, the keyboardist simply made comforting sounds and pet her hair.
“None of this is your fault sweetie. You didn’t force him to bring a strange woman home,” the mohawked man murmured, rocking her gently as she continued to sob into his black t-shirt.
“Why is he so angry at me if it isn’t somehow my fault,” she whispered, accidentally uttering her secret fear. Logically, she knew Manson bore most of the guilt for their break-up but she couldn’t help but see her blame much more. She couldn’t help but wonder just what she had done to cause his behavior. Had it really all been Dita’s appearance fucking with him or had it been her reluctance to have sex with him.
“He’s just... he doesn’t know how else to...,” the keyboardist stammered, stopping when Raven pulled back and placed her fingertips on his red lips.
“I know, I saw that often enough when I was around him. He doesn’t know how else to handle pain,” she whispered with a small smile, pulling back to wipe her streaming eyes.
“We saw what happened after the first song,” Ginger whispered quietly, giving her a sympathetic look.
“Does he really miss me that badly? It’s honestly hard to tell under all the anger he puts forward,” the sad female sighed, turning her hollow smile to the drummer.
“Under all the rage, alcohol and coldness, he’s hurting very badly. You’re... you’re the first person he’s ever actually loved this much. Even with Melinda, he never felt guilty for sleeping with groupies,” Ginger replied, knowing he said too much when Raven looked at him with confusion and Pogo just plain looked exasperated and amused.
“Melinda?” Raven asked in a soft, questioning voice.
“She happened early on in his career. He got very close to her, almost as close as he did to you. He very nearly asked her to marry him but...,” the keyboardist answered, trailing off as a look of pain and fury crossed his painted face.
“Was she... famous? What happened?” the curious woman asked, her hazel eyes moving from Pogo to Ginger.
“She was... she presented herself as a fan. She... played innocent very well. On the day he was going to propose to her, he overheard a phone conversation she was having. It was about how he didn’t suspect a thing... that...,” the drummer growled, his voice growing rougher and rougher from his own anger.
“Poor Manson,” Raven breathed, before a worried look came over her porcelain colored face.
“Don’t even think it! You are nothing like her! She was using him from the beginning. You, all you did was love him,” Pogo hissed from Ginger’s left, darting out to grab her t-shirt covered shoulders.
“But, but I... I can’t even let him see me naked without the thought of it sending me into a panic attack. He’s not the only one with issues here,” Raven protested as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
“Sweetie, you can’t mean to imply you think your issues are the ultimate cause of all this...,” the keyboardist whispered, drawing their shocked gazes. A stricken, half angry, half devastated looked was on his decorated face. Raven could only look at him like a gaping fish, making exasperation tinge his already mixed expression.
“Tell me I’m being an idiot and reading you wrong. Please tell me you don’t think so little of yourself that you don’t believe you have a right to decide when to have sex?” he husked out in a much deeper, more angry sounding voice as he pushed her back to the dressers gently but firmly in an effort to cut off any escape routes. Ginger scrabbled at the back of his shirt but missed by several inches and had to settle for following his fellow musician.
“Pogo..,” he began, only earning a fiery look that could rival Manson on his worst day.
“Wait your turn Gingy, I’m not done yet,” the mohawked man hissed before turning to give the woman in front of them a stern look. The nervous female couldn’t help but gulp.
“I want you to listen to me, very closely. If one partner isn’t ready for the next step, the other has to exercise the maturity to wait. If they are unable to do that, it is not the fault of the one who wants to wait,” the keyboardist whispered in a voice that left no room for argument. Raven could only lick her lips nervously as her heart raced in her chest. She wasn’t used to seeing Pogo angry or even close to being stern. This complete change in behavior was highly confusing for her.
“Do you understand,” he hissed when she didn’t answer right away, giving her shoulders a hard, quick shake. Gasping at the rough treatment, Raven gave a small nod. Deep down, she knew what he was saying was right; if Amanda was in her situation, she would be saying the same thing.
“Good, good! Ging, open the door,” Gacy chirped, suddenly back to his normal good humor as her released her and stepped away. Ginger only gave him a strange look before looking at Raven for her okay.
“Go ahead, let them in. I’m sure you and Amanda are nowhere near done with eachother,” the still shaky woman joked in a watery voice, wiping the tears from her eyes. The drummer only blushed, throwing open the door to allow the pair of Jonathan and Amanda to fall to the floor in a heap.
Pogo giggled at the blushing pair and Raven couldn’t help but join him as they pulled themselves to their feet. “We were worried,” Amanda murmured, looking like a child that had been caught stealing cookies before dinner.
“I did promise Johnny I’d keep an eye on you for him,” Davis whispered, rubbing the back of his head and looking just as abashed.
“It’s okay, I can’t say I blame either of you,” Raven giggled, knowing she would have done the exact same thing. Ginger only smiled at Amanda while Pogo continued to cackle. Then the drummer was pulling the curly haired female into a tight, but brief hug while her roomie did the same with Jonathan. Once the pair had been reassured that the black clad female was alright, the long separated pair became quickly entangled with eachother.
“You two act as if you won’t see eachother again,” Pogo joked, earning a sour look from the scarred drummer.
“Well, unless you changed the rest of the tour so we’re sharing venues....,” the bleach blonde began, stopping when the insane keyboardist began to smirk.
“You fucking didn’t,” Ginger breathed, horror edging into his shocked voice when his fellow bandmate began to nod slowly.
“Pogo, are you insane? Do you have any idea what that’ll do to Manson?!” Raven exclaimed, panic and worry beginning to tighten within her chest.
“Do you have any idea what being without you is doing to him now?!” the mohawked male replied in a deadpan voice, all humor gone for a dead seriousness that got everyone’s attention.
“He brings that silly plush you sent him everywhere. Sleeps with the damn thing every night. Almost every new song in this album has been about you two,” he continued, keeping his earthy gaze locked on the shell-shocked woman standing before him.
“He... he’s been... with Kathy,”she whispered in a touched, happy voice as she slowly slid to her knees with a hand pressed to her racing heart. Pogo only nodded with a small smile before grabbing Ginger by the arm and fairly yanking him away from Amanda.
“Hey! I wasn’t done with that yet!” the brown haired female protested, giving the keyboardist a playful glare.
“I know ya weren’t and I know he certainly wasn’t done either but we have to go! Manson will be done feeling sorry for himself soon and we’ll be off to our next location,” the keyboardist cackled, holding a limp Ginger tight against him.
“Since we’re going to the same place, couldn’t he just travel with us?” Amanda asked in a tiny voice, earning a sympathetic look from Raven and Davis. The drummer in Pogo’s arms only gave a small, sad smile and shook his head.
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. There’s barely enough room for you and Raven. We’ll see eachother soon,” he assured gently, pulling away from the man holding him to give his girlfriend a hug and loving kiss.
Pogo merely rolled his eyes and bounced on his platforms while Raven logged away the embrace for later teasing material. Jonathan, on the other hand, had sneakily moved himself to stand beside the pale female; wrapping a loose arm around her shoulders. After a few seconds, the drummer broke the kiss the rest his make-up coated forehead against Amanda’s. “I’ll see you soon,” he announced again, giving her lips one last peck before he and the keyboardist he came with turned and left. As soon he was out of sight, the curly haired female slid to her knees and began to cry; not even flinching when her childhood friend enveloped her in a tight hug. Thankfully Amanda was alright within seconds, giving Raven a hug as she pulled herself to her feet.
“That Pogo, changing the entire tour so we share venues,” she sighed in a watery but playfully exasperated voice as she dried the rest of her tears.
“Yeah, that’s just fucking great,” Raven sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as panic and nervousness fought for top spot within her. After the events of the night, she wasn’t too sure how she would handle being around Manson for any extended period of time. She felt torn in two opposite directions, one that led to making up with the singer and ending both their torment while the other led to staying away from him and letting him find someone he could truly be happy with. A large hand on her shoulder drew her out of her spiraling thoughts and she grinned up at a worried looking Davis.
“It’s too late to call off any of this. It’s a wonder that Pogo was able to change venues this short notice,” the metal star whispered, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.
“Not if you actually know the man. These venue owners probably heard horror stories and complied out of sheer fear,” Raven replied, smiling slightly despite the seriousness of her tone. Amanda only groaned in response, running a hand over her milk white face.
“The sad thing is, you’re probably right,” the curly haired woman giggled, sounding half afraid. Then the bus roared to life beneath their feet and began to move, bringing them closer to another day of tension.
Raven was jolted from a sound sleep by the sound of familiar whimpers. Knowing all this stress had probably caused another nightmare, the groggy female shoved herself to her feet and walked to the back room where Davis slept. Opening the door as gently as she could, the black haired woman poked her head slowly in and softly called the rock star’s name. This time he sat up immediately, his eyes looking around blindly. “Raven?” he called in an unsure voice, already reaching for her.
“I’m here,” she whispered, slipping slowly into the room and closing the door. Then she was moving forward as the singer turned on his bedside lamp.
“Fuck, another fucking dream,” bit out the distraught male as he pressed the heels of his hands into his forehead.
“I’m not surprised with all the stress you’ve been under tonight,” Raven soothed, slowly sitting on the bed and making sure she was within easy reaching distance. She wasn’t all that surprised when he quickly grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. She was surprised, however, when his arms wrapped around her and he rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a solemn voice, his arms a protective cage around her.
“Don’t worry about me...,” she began, earning a playful but firm swat on her t-shirt clad arm.
“Raven, I’m well used to dealing with these nightmares on my own. What I’m concerned about is how you’re dealing with things. You can’t tell me you haven’t been plagued by your own nightmares tonight,” he whispered, petting her hair gently while his heart raced in her ear. At first, she opened her mouth to protest but quickly shut it when she actually thought about it. Just moments before she had heard Jonathan, she had awoken from a very nasty nightmare about Manson.
“What was it about?” he asked in a gentle voice, beginning to rock her gently. Raven only nestled into his naked chest, reluctant to give voice to what she had dreamed.
“Now what was it you told me? Remind me Raven,” Jonathan continued, his voice holding a stern edge. Knowing he meant business and that he wasn’t going to wait long for an answer, the quiet female took a steadying breath before beginning.
“I had this dream before, when he and I were still dating and before all the bullshit happened. Manson is singing in the middle of the stage while I watch from the side. Only this time, instead of a fan stabbing him to death; it’s me holding the knife,” she whispered, beginning to shake as she got the very clear memory of the feeling of his blood running over her hands. The look of betrayal and heartbreak on his pale face was all too clear as well, drawing a distressed noise from the now crying female.
“It was just a dream. You know you’d never hurt him,” Davis whispered softly, continuing to hold her as she began to sob outright into his chest. It was a few minutes until the crying had tapered off into watery sighs that was interspersed with shuddering.
“You really love him don’t you?” the singer whispered, making the woman in his arms smile sadly.
“More than anyone will ever understand. The man saved me during my teen years, he became this comforting presence, this paragon of strength. His music got me through enough rough days to fill anyone’s lifetime ten times over. All I wanted to do was meet him once! The fact that he wanted a relationship with me, it blew my fucking mind,” she replied quietly, pulling away from the celebrity to stand and wipe her tears.
“I know I sound like a fangirl that only wanted to get into his pants but it was so much more than that. Every song of his that I heard, it felt like I could feel his pain along with him. I was in love with him long before we met at that concert,” Raven continued, sounding both scared and miserable. Everything that happened between them seemed so long ago and yet she felt as if it had only been yesterday. Suddenly she felt very tired.
“I know you don’t know the whole story and I really don’t want to tell it. All I can say is I miss him. I miss him so much that it feels like there’s a part of me missing but... God Jonathan, what do I fucking do here?! I thought I was doing the right thing but is it still right if it makes us both this fucking miserable?” the desperate woman asked, tugging at the over-sized t-shirt she wore as pajamas.
“I can’t answer that for you. As you said, I don’t really know everything that happened. All I know is that you’ve been miserable since the day Johnny introduced us. You’ve done a good job of hiding it but it’s obvious that something’s bothering you,” the dreadlocked male whispered, getting to his feet and closing some of the distance between them but not touching her.
Raven only sighed before leaning in for her to take her in his arms. “I’m so tired of fighting what I want so badly but I’m also afraid. He’s so... angry,” she whispered in a small voice, burying her face in the singer’s naked chest.
“I don’t... I don’t handle angry men well and I’m honestly afraid of how he’ll handle the suggestion of getting back together,” the frightened woman continued, looking up at Jonathan to gauge his reaction. The taller, more muscular man was only looking down at her with a faint expression of anger.
“Are you afraid he’s going to hurt you?” Davis whispered in a gentle but gruff voice, his arms tensing around her slightly.
“Logically no but... in the past a man being angry usually meant I got hurt,” she replied quietly, hoping he would get her meaning. Thankfully, the rock star seemed to understand instantly and the anger faded for sympathy.
“You’re sleeping in here tonight,” he declared suddenly, picking her up and placing her on his bed. Before she could protest, he laid next to her and pulled her into a one armed hug.
“You can even have the bed to yourself, just... please. It would make me feel so much better,” he pleaded, his brown eyes turning into large puppy dog eyes. Giggling at his expression, the exhausted female only gave a nod. It had been a long day for everyone and she no longer had the strength to argue. Besides, sleeping next to Davis would probably keep her nightmares away. Sighing softly, Raven simply snuggled into the metal singer and allowed herself to slowly drift back to sleep.
The next day she found herself in the middle of horrendously loud chaos. Both Jonathan and Manson were currently screaming at eachother outside the bus. They were arguing so loudly that it had awoken her from a sound sleep to a full on panic attack. At first she had been afraid that her ex was attacking Davis for the events of last night but she soon came to realize it was over something much more petty. The two singers were arguing vehemently over who got to set up first. The change of venues had caused all sorts of chaos with the show schedule and the two rock stars were now without a proper billing. Technically; whoever wanted to go first, could.
Amanda, who had also been awoken by the yelling match, glared out of the open door while the coffee pot on the counter did its thing. “Try not to kill them?” Raven requested meekly through the crack in the door as she pulled on a pair of black jeans. She knew how her roomie could be when she was awoken suddenly.
“Can I at least hurt them?” hissed the curly haired spitfire as she turned her glower to the coffee pot. If looks could kill, the innocent appliance would be a puddle of melted plastic.
“How about you have your coffee first, then see if you still want to incur violence,” the black haired artist sighed as she pulled a fresh t-shirt over her head. Then she took a look at the shirt she had grabbed and decided fate was playing a cruel joke on her. Once again, she was wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt. She didn’t even think she had packed that many and here she was wearing two in a row.
Swearing to get back at the Gods who were no doubt laughing at her, Raven left the back room and went into the bathroom to put her hair into a ponytail. Once that was done, she came into the main body of the bus to see Amanda still glaring at the brewing coffee. “Glaring at it won’t make it brew any faster,” the black wearing woman suggested to her childhood friend, earning a heated glare. Throwing up her hands in surrender, Raven went to the small fridge to dig out one of the Red Pops she had packed for the trip.
“You went first last time!” came Manson’s scream from outside, drawing an exasperated noise from the superhero emblazoned woman who was still glowering at the coffee pot.
“Why don’t you kids just fucking flip a coin!” she screamed, earning a blessed silence as the coffee finally finished. Thankfully that seemed to settle the dispute and Manson moved away from the tour bus.
Jonathan came back on not soon after, a surprised look on his mustached face. “So, who’s going first this time?” Raven asked curiously, screwing off the top of her soda and taking a long swig.
“We decided Manson gets to go since I did go last time. Only seems fair since Pogo fucked everyone’s schedule,” the metal star replied, faint worry in his chocolate gaze as he watched the pale female closely. To his surprise, Raven only nodded; a faintly thoughtful look on her face.
“What are you thinking about doing?” Amanda asked suspiciously, her green eyes narrowed as she watched her friend.
“Nothing at all,” Raven replied before getting to her feet and simply walking out of the tour bus. Come Hell or high water, she was going to talk to Manson and see if there was anything they could salvage from the wreckage of their relationship.
Said singer was pacing by the side of the stage as she came up, making her rethink her whole plan. She had run from him rather unexpectedly last night, there was no telling what his reaction would be. Gritting her teeth, Raven gathered her scant courage and decided to charge forward. Even if he sent her into a spiraling depression after he smashed her heart to bits, at least she would know she had done something to try to help. Yet, as she got closer, she found herself growing more and more hesitant. Especially when his anger filled gaze landed right on her and stayed there. ‘Oh fuck why does he have to look so angry?’ she whimpered to herself as her steps slowed down until she stopped a few feet away from him.
Swallowing her nerves, she gave a small smile and a wave, only to have him turn his back to her dismissively. Feeling her heart plummet to the bottom of her shoes, Raven tried again. “Um, Manson. I’m sorry about... running away like that,” she whispered in a small voice, startling when she heard a faint growl in reply.
Then, instead of answering her, he stormed on the stage and began directing the set-up. The pale, shaken female watched in stunned silence before walking onto the side of the stage. She did her level best to get attention but the rock star seemed hellbent on ignoring her, a fact that hurt rather deeply. After a few more moments of fruitless trying, Raven simply gave up and returned to the tour bus. As she walked she found herself wondering if what everyone was telling her was simply wrong. One moment he acted like he had missed her more than anything and the next he was acting like she was beneath the dirt on his boots. Confused and hurt, the pale female forced a smile on her face as she rejoined her friends on the bus.While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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