Love Quotes | By : classic06 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Kelly Clarkson Views: 18138 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Kelly Clarkson. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
woo for double updates! lol
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"Man she saves me.
To this day I don't know why
She picked me up
When I was down on the road
With the wind when it blowed."
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Kelly's eyes closed as she felt Carrie's lips press softly against the top of her shoulder two days later. Carrie looked up at the mirror to find silent tears falling down her cheeks.
"Kell, please don't cry," Carrie urged, wrapping her arms around her from behind. "You look beautiful, and if you mess up your make-up we'll be late. You know how much Alex hated it when you were late."
Kelly smiled at her sadly in the mirror, "Thank you."
"For what?" Carrie asked.
"For being here."
"Where else would I be?"
Kelly felt herself tearing up again.
"Baby," Carrie cooed, turning her around in her arms. She smoothed over the front of the Texan's black dress for her, removing any wrinkles she had caused. She leaned forward, kissing her softly. "I'm always going to be here. I promise."
Kelly nodded, sniffing, her eyes skimming over the simple black sundress that Carrie was wearing, "You look amazing...that's ok to say right now, right?"
"Yea, it's ok," she nodded. "Thank you."
"I don't know if I can do this," Kelly admitted, feeling Carrie's lips pressing gently against her forehead.
"You can. I know you can."
"Her parents are gonna be there."
"Don't worry. We'll make sure they stay far away. You have nothing to worry about, ok? Today...it's about Alex," Carrie said softly, brushing a stray curl out of the shorter singer's face. "The only thing you need to do is say goodbye."
"I'm not ready," she shook her head.
"It's not goodbye forever, you know," Carrie languidly ran her hands up her sides and down her arms, trying to comfort her. "It's not even goodbye for now. You don't have to completely forget about her. That'd be impossible."
"Is it wrong for me to still wish it were me instead?"
"It was her time, Kell. You...you still have so much left to give. You were blessed with this amazing gift. And not just your voice, but your heart. You give, so much of yourself, to everybody you come into contact with. You've really changed so many lives, and I sincerely think you're only beginning. Alex...she did her job. She's helped you to grow to become even more of an amazing person than you already were, and she's given you even more strength than you already had so that you can go out and change people's lives. So, please...please, don't wish it were you instead."
Kelly sniffed, folding into her as Carrie wrapped her arms tightly around her.
"Because I need you here with me," Carrie whispered in her ear, holding her close. She kissed her hair, fighting back tears as the door opened.
Ashley poked her head in, eyeing the two of them sadly, "It's time to go. We don't want to be late."
Carrie nodded, watching her walk back out of the room, "You ready?"
"No," she heard Kelly reply, her voice muffled against her shoulder.
"Kell..."
"You'll sit by me?" she asked, her voice small.
"I'll be holding your hand the entire time, just like I promised," Carrie assured her.
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"I feel your eyes crawling over me
As though I am something more than me,
But I don't have anything good enough to say,
I did not make myself this way."
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Kelly took Jason's hand as she carefully stepped out of the car. The thick, summer air was made even worse by the overcast sky. Fitting, Kelly thought to herself as she eyed the grey clouds. She felt a careful hand on her back as Carrie stepped out behind her.
"We should go inside," Carrie suggested, her lips right behind Kelly's ear.
"I think I changed my mind," Kelly froze in her spot. "I don't want to."
"It's not really changing your mind if you never wanted to in the first place," Jason pointed out carefully.
"I think I wanna go for a walk."
"You have time," Ashley looked at her watch. "It took less time to get here than I thought it would."
"Ok," she nodded.
"I'll come with you," Jason offered his arm.
"No, I'll go," Carrie offered, stepping beside her.
"No, it's ok," Kelly squeezed her arm gently. "You go inside. It's hot and nasty out here, and you look great."
"Kell, it's a funeral; I don't care how I look. I want to go with you."
"I'm gonna walk with Jason," she replied, decisively.
Carrie's eyes fell, trying to hide the hurt in them.
Kelly sighed, pulling her into a hug, whispering in her ear, "I won't be long."
"You don't want me to go with you?" she asked, softly.
"I don't know how to answer that without hurting you," Kelly frowned, pulling back.
"What are you going do?"
"I'm just going for a walk, and honestly, I'd rather if I were alone, but I know Jason won't let me, not with Alex's parents here, but I promise, if there were someone that I wanted to walk with me, it would be you."
Carrie nodded as Kelly stepped back, taking Jason's arm that he had offered.
"We'll see y'all inside," Kelly tried to manage a smile.
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"Carrie seemed upset," Jason noted as they walked around the church grounds.
"She's a good friend. She just wants to be there for me."
"Are you going to let her?"
"I already have."
"Then why didn't you want her to come?"
"Because I've cried on her shoulder way more than I should have recently."
"Correct if I'm wrong, because I often am, but isn't that what friends are for?" Jason asked.
"I don't want to worry her."
"Is that why when we used to live in L.A. you used to go to the park at like midnight to call mom crying? Because you didn't want Ashley and I to worry? Because trust me, it didn't stop us in the least bit from worrying."
Kelly frowned, as they walked around the back of the church to the cemetery, "I just don't like people seeing me like that."
"But from what I can gather, Carrie's already seen you like that."
"Look, I know what Carrie's life is like right now, it's crazy. And ever since we started hanging out, I've had one problem after another. I just don't want it become a drag for her. She doesn't need that with how busy she is."
"Kelly, I think Carrie understands that you're hurting right now. With Alex, with what's happened, you can't help it, and she knows that. You've got to stop being stubborn and learn how to let your friends help you."
They stopped walking as Kelly's eyes fell on an open grave that was prepped for the ceremony.
"Go on," Jason sighed, taking her hand off of his arm. "I'll make sure you're left alone."
"Thanks," Kelly nodded, slowly walking towards the grave. She felt her eyes stinging as she stopped at the foot of it. She slowly fell to her knees, shaking as her head fell into her hands.
Jason's jaw clenched as he watched his baby sister, wishing there were some way for him to make this easier on her. He shook his head, turning around, keeping his promise.
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