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Mine To Give -COMPLETED - EPILOGUE FINALLY DONE!	By : pensfan100 Category: Casts RPF > Star Wars (all) > Star Wars (all) Views: 8495 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Mine To Give – Chapter Eight

A gray, soggy wind blustered its way through the artificial canyons of Manhattan, swirling a coercive suggestion to the occupants on the street to pull their coats tightly to their bodies and tug hats below their ears. A storm was coming. There was no rain to pelt them yet, but the heavy, humid air threatened. Natalie trudged stubbornly against the wind, oblivious to the warning, her coat flapping haphazardly in the stiff breeze. A couple passers-by glanced at her tiny, utonetoned figure, but it was New York City, a place loaded with a whole assortment of characters. If she wanted drenched and frozen that was her business.

Natalie walked on, unseeing, her eyes focused inwardly on recalling the last two days. A phone call to her gynecologist, Dr. Nellie Vaughan, got her an after hours appointment. With no one else around, Natalie pulled out the two pregnancy test sticks, unable to find words. No one had to paint Dr. Vaughan a picture. In her brisk, no nonsense approach, she took matters into her own hands and examined her patient. First, another pregnancy test, then an internal exam.

On the examination table, Natalie kept her eyes peeled on the doctor’s face, watching for any sign of reaction. Dr. Vaughan suddenly paused and looked up, smiling at her patient.

“I can feel your eyes trying to melt my face off my skull, Natalie,” she quipped, dryly. “You know you’re pregnant. I’m not going to tell you differently and I’m not going to screw my face up in shock and horror, so relax. Even without the test I can feel your cervix softening.”

Natalie nodded and blinked rapidly, storing any tears for her plight. She would NOT pity herself! She would not! She knew the consequences of sex; she was to blame.

“Let me guess,” Dr. Vaughan moved to the sink to wash up, “unprotected sex.”

“Very funny,” Natalie muttered through stiff lips.

“Any chance of catching an STD…”

“None.”

“Ok. Since I know you’re on the Pill, I’m guessing you were taking antibiotics.” At Natalie’s sharpened glance the doctor held up her hands. “Hey, I’m just running down the list of usual suspects.”

“But I’d already finished them and had my period and started my next month’s dose of birth control,” Natalie informed, brows lowering in confusion.

Dr. Vaughan nodded and flashed a tight grin as she wheeled a machine over to the table. “Sometimes that doesn’t matter. You were almost kidnapped. Stress. It didn’t help.” Natalie exhaled heavily and stared at the ceiling. Dr. Vaughan cleared her throat. “Does the ‘father’ know?”

The question drew startled eyes to the doctor’s bland expression. Natalie’s stomach lurched. Hearing Hayden referred to as ‘the father’ flipped on a light switch in her mind. How could she make any decision without consulting him? All kinds of options had entered her mind and she had been ready to sort and choose, all without his knowledge. But Hayden was a family man. He adored his family. And he was so good with children. He had the ability to make the children of the cast and crew feel important. They flocked to him. But this, this was a whole different arena.

“Are you going to tell him?” Dr. Vaughan asked in a neutral, comforting tone as she squirted a cold gel over Natalie’s belly.

Natalie’s stomach jerked at the icy sensation. “I’ll tell him. I’d never try to keep this from him,” she assured, her curious nature overriding her thoughts and dwelled on the doctor’s movements.

“I’m guessing you’re about seven or eight weeks’ along,” Dr. Vaughan began to run a paddle over Natalie’s belly, the gel aiding its movement. “This ultra sound will help me narrow it down.”

Natalie’s eyes turned to the screen as a tangled mass of gray appeared. No one had to tell her when it happened. She knew when. The night Hayden had stormed into her apartment running from the demons in Matt’s words. Later, they’d made love again and as maudlin as it sounded, something magical had happened and her body had truly joined to his. It had been an epiphany to life’s meaning and while not a big spiritual person, she’d felt a reverence for life she’d never known. And now…now she lay here, pregnant.

“See that?” Dr. Vaughan pointed to a tiny, frantic blip on the screen, interrupting Natalie’s reverie.

Natalie squinted and concentrated on the tiny blip. “Yes?”

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

“My baby’s heartbeat,” Natalie murmured, focused on the pulsing beat. The words drifted through the layers of denial, almost penetrating the core of her emotions. Almost.

“It’s been beating for weeks now,” Dr. Vaughan informed. “I’d definitely say you’re around 7 and a half weeks, give or take a few days.” Natalie’s eyes pierced her with their sarcasm and she grinned. “Your hormones have been going haywire, I bet. You probably overreact a lot now. Lots of changes have been going on inside you.”

Natalie emerged from her thoughts just in time. Rain blasted from the sky in sheets, sending people scurrying for shelter like cockroaches in a suddenly lit room. With a yelp she, gr, grabbing for the hood of her coat. The gusts snatched it out of her hands and she bolted for a door and darted in.

The smell of musty pages greeted her and in delight she surveyed the quiet little used bookstore she’d stumbled into. For such a fierce downpour, the shop was amazingly empty of patrons, save for the tiny, white-haired proprietor.

“Nasty out there,” the lady beamed, motioning her further in. “Come in, come in! My, but you’re soaked clear through! Come, sit. I’ll bring you a hot cup of tea.”

Absently, Natalie ran her hand through her stringy, damp hair, her eyes traveling over her sodden shirt. “Oh, no, I’m fine,” she asserted to deaf ears. The woman was already gone. Natalie wandered the bookshop, entranced by its fairytale-like charm, expecting a fairy godmother to appear at any moment and with a wave of her magic wand whisk away all her problems and make all her dreams come true. Natalie wryly grinned at the whimsy. This was not a usual site in Manhattan. Everything original had given way to large conglomerates and chains.

Here and there she pulled out books, interested by the titles on their spines, everything from canning vegetables, to dating etiquette in the 1950’s. Making her way along the wall she pulled out an old, dusty volume, her lips curving in appreciation of its worn cover. In curvy script the title announced: BABY NAMES FOR THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. Nie sie stared in fascination, her hand sliding under her shirt to the smooth skin of her belly where her own baby laid sleeping and growing.

“My baby,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. Emotion stabbed through the final layer of shock, exploding into her in a sunburst of recognition. She was going to have a baby, a tiny bundle of life that she and Hayden had created. Love, uncomplicated and unreasoning cart wheeled through her. In that moment the day shifted from gloomy to glowing. Around her colors ran back into the world, bright and inviting. She wanted this baby whose heart beat so quickly. This was HER baby! And he or she depended on her to love and care for it.

The revelation lit her face, astounding the proprietor on her return. The warmth and joy in Natalie’s expression cheered the woman and they spent a lovely half hour drinking tea and talking about the bookshop. Natalie showed her the book she’d found.

“My heavens!” the lady beamed, a hand going to her throat. “I’d forgotten about that! It was a lovely find! I just thought it so historical and sweet that I had to put it in here. Oh, but some of those names! Simply awful!”

Natalie purchased the book, a hazy glow spreading to her toes. This book would always remind her of the day she realized she loved her baby. Happy with her find she didn’t hear the bell on the door as another customer entered or see the proprietor leave the room.

“Well, well, what a small world we live in,” drawled an accented, dry voice.

Natalie’s head lifted towards the voice, brown eyes widening in disbelief.

“Michelle?”

The tall, leggy Australian’s lips curled back in an imitation of a smile. The umbrella she carried dripped all over the floor, puddling at her heels. Natalie’s eyes narrowed at the other woman’s demeanor, the memory of the overheard comments months’ earlier ringing fresh in her ears.

“What are you doing in New York?” Natalie strove to keep her tone from descending into disgust.

“Working, of course,” Michelle smiled down the few steps at her, using the extra height to intimidate. “My boss had to come over and I got treated to a…working vacation of sorts. We work, but we get plenty ofe toe to do…other things. This time of year is not so wonderful for sightseeing, but it has its advantages.”

Natalie nodded, an uneasiness poking under her ribs. Not liking how she was being looked down on, she climbed the few steps to shorten the distance.

“And you?” Michelle’s eyes narrowed, scanning the room, searching for something. Or someone. “Dump him already?”

The uneasy nudge increased and Natalie’s brows drew together. “Who?”

“Oh, come on!” Michelle snorted, her eyes rolling in disbelief. “Don’t play dumb with me, honey! I saw him leave your apartment one night…or should I say ‘morning’ since it was almost 5am!”

A shiver ran up Natalie’s spine, a thought materializing. “You stalked Hayden?”

“I did not STALK him,” Michelle denied, waving her hand at the word. “I ‘followed’ him. Once you had your little…episode…he stopped seeing me. Just…poof! Flat out cut off. Thanks to you!”

Natalie watched the play of expressions flit across Michelle’s face. “I didn’t stop him from seeing you…”

“Yes, you did!” Michelle accused, edging closer, her eyes burning into Natalie. “I had him right where I wanted him and you…”

“You did it!” Natalie’s voice rose, anger suffusing her face. “He heard you that day refer to me as a ‘skinny, flat-chested Jew from America.’ THAT’s what did it! I said nothing to him!”

“You’re lying!” Michelle snorted, but her eyes flickered with a guilty doubt. Natalie turned away, but Michelle’s hand wrapped around her arm in a viselike grip and swung her back. “You seduced him! You LIED to him about me!”

“I…” Natalie choked a laugh. “Oh, right. I lied to him. I seduced him. It’s all my fault.”

“Exactly! And when I find him I’m going to tell him the truth!”

“You are? Good. And when you find him he can tell you that it was me he was making love to the night you came to his door and he wouldn’t let you in. Oh, wait, he already KNOWS it! He seduced me!” Natalie’s voice shrilled, her wavering emotions oveing ing her.

The moment the words broke free, Natalie wished she could recall them. It was none of Michelle’s business what went on between Hayden and her. And the seduction, if there had been one, had been mutual. Hayden had ended it with Michelle without aefarefarious schemes on Natalie’s part. She surveyed the array of nasty expressions on Michelle’s face: the black fury, the shocked disbelief, and the hurt ego. The look of hurt Natalie shoved out of her mind. The girl was screwing her boss! Why should I feel guilty? She focused on the anger.

“I don’t believe you!” Mile sle snarled, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. She shifted her weight, the uncertainty clouding her eyes a moment.

“That’s your prerogative,” Natalie tossed her own head to look up at the taller woman.

Michelle’s eyes slitted, the lines from long days in the hostrastralian sun crinkling them, making her look years older and harder. “Come to think of it, I wouldn’t put it passed you. Well, let me tell you this…stay out of my way and next time steal someone else’s boyfriend…Bitch!”

Michelle whirled to stomp out of the store. Natalie, just relieved to have her gone, turned to go down the steps and get her package. One moment her feet were on solid ground, the next she was airborne and flying down the stairs. The bell to the shop dinged distantly announcing Michelle’s departure but Natalie was too busy trying to break her fall.

The proprietor bustled in as Natalie fell over the back of a chair, bent in two at the waist, and crumpled to the floor. A squawk of alarm rent the air and the woman rushed to Natalie’s side, helping her to her feet.

“No, no, I’m fine, really,” Natalie assured the woman who continued to brush nonexistent lint from her clothes. “Someone was leaving and I tripped over her feet, that’s all. I’m all right.” She cringed inwardly at the throbbing near her hipbone and resisted the urge to rub it.

Later that night, lying in the lonely darkness, Natalie reached for the p.
.

“Hello?”

Dr. Vaughan, it’s Natalie,” she gasped, one hand massaging her belly.

“Natalie? What’s the matter?” Dr. Vaughan sat up in bed, brows knitted in concern.

“I have terrible cramps,” Natalie tried to steady her shaky voice, dragging in labored breaths. “They won’t…stop.”

“You need to go to the emergency room.” The doctor’s voice clipped out. “Now, Natalie.”

“I can’t!” Natalie shook her head tears spilling down her cheeks. “Everyone will know! I won’t go!”

Dr. Vaughan sighed, suspecting the worst. “I’ll meet you at my office…no! I’ll come get you myself.”

************************************************************************************

Hayden sat at his dining room table with his brother, Tove, papers spread out between them in a hapless sprawl. Discontent sent another script into the messy pile.

“Hayden,” Tove sighed and ran a tired hand through his short hair, “they can’t ALL be bad.”

“Oh, yes, they can!” Hayden argued, retrieving the most recent script. “This one is the worst! And I’m sorry, but I REFUSE to kiss another guy while naked. No way! Especially when it doesn’t relate to the story at all!”

Tove sputtered over his drink, water spitting onto the discarded scripts.

“My sentiments exactly,” Hayden deadpanned, his eyes rolling as Tove choked and laughed.

“Hayden,” Tove blotted at the mess with a paper towel, “I have one left and I saved it for last.” Reaching into his backpack he produced one more script and handed it to hiotheother with a flourish. “You read and I’ll clear off these offensive scraps of paper that someone thinks will make good movies for us to produce.”

An hour later, Tove and Hayden debated the merits of a script that was a remake of a movie called, CHARLIE. The story detailed the rise and fall of a mentally impaired man whose brain heals then disintegrates back into impairment when the treatment refuses to stabilize. The wide scope of acting would tempt any serious actor. The research doctor who chooses him for the study, falls in love with him, then has to helplessly watch him become prisoner again to his impaired mind would be a part top actresses would actively pursue.

“I think we should send this to Alan in LA,” Tove said, sitting back in his chair. “He can put a bug in a few director’s ears.”

Hayden nodded, lips pursed as his thoughts ran through ideas. “You know, George Lucas knows a lot of top directors. A lot. He could drum up interest faster than anyone I know. Next weekend a group of directors is meeting at Skywalker Ranch to discuss digital filming. Ron Howard, Francis Ford Coppolla, Scorsese, Spielberg…”

“Hmm. Good point,” Tove’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “And even if it’s not of interest to them, they may be able to direct us to who would want to sink their teeth into it. Can you call George?”

Fifteen minutes later, Hayden hung up the phone and gri. T. Tove laughed and clapped Hayden on the back. “I’ll get it out to him by FedEx and he’ll get it by tomorrow evening,” Hayden went to the desk to search for packing material, whistling at their good fortune.

“This could really seal the deal for Forest Park Pictures,” Tove rubbed his hands together. “It could establish us as a solid film production company. We’ll finally be taken seriously.”

“So why have me wade through all those pathetic scripts?”

“Well, I wanted to save the best for last,” Tove shrugged, innocently.

The phone rang, cutting off Hayden’s retort. “Hello?”

“Hayden?” A soft voice floated over the line.

Hayden’s body froze at the sound in his ear, his body locked in a time warp. “Natalie?”

“Um, is the offer to come see you still open?”

Hayden’s startled eyes met his brother’s and Tove tilted his head in question.

“It would be open even if I was on location in a jungle on thher her side of the world, Nat,” Hayden assured, his brows lowering in concern. “Where have you been? I’ve left you a thousand messages!”

Silence roared down the line. Natalie pinched the bridge of her nose, a dull ache beginning in her temples. How was she ever going to tell him everything?

“Natalie?” His sharp voice impinged on her dismal thoughts.

“Can I come right now?” She asked, the tiny note of fear not escaping Hayden’s attention.

Another look of concern crossed his face. “Just tell me your flight number and I’ll be there to meet you…Nat, are you all right? What’s wrong?”

“You don’t have to meet me,” Natalie dodged his questioning, “I’m already here.”

“In Toronto?” Hayden’s stomach dipped. “You’re at the airport?” Tove blinked in surprise.

“I’ll get a cab and be there shortly…are you sure it’s ok?”

“Of course it’s ok! Tove and I just finished reading scripts. I’m done for the evening.”

“I’ll see you in a little bit then,” Natalie’s voice seemed to fade in strength.

The line died and Hayden pulled the phone from his ear and stared at the receiver, his heart nose-diving.

“She’s in Toronto?” Tove asked, studying Hayden’s face.

“At the airport,” Hayden murmured, a cold hard lump settling in the pit of his stomach. “She’s catching a cab.” A hand ran through his hair, tugging at the strands in nervous swipes. “Do you think she’s coming to tell me…”

“Hayden,” Tove interrupted, sensing the direction of his brother’s thoughts, “I doubt she’d just jump on a plane and surprise you to tell you it’s over.”

Doubt plagued Hayden’s mind, scraping the edges of his sanity. He hadn’t seen her in months! His only contact had been the phone and the computer. The thought of her mere miles away sent a tremor through his starving body. The crust of everyday living crumbled under the guise of reality, exposing a wound that still bled under its surface. The hidden cracks and fissures created by the phone calls and emails split his calm exterior wide. The stability of his life proved false under its weight.

A few minutes later when the phone rang Tove held up his hand to forestall Hayden and answered it. Amused, he watched Hayden resume his restless pacing.

“It’s mom,” Tove held out the phone. Hayden took the phone and resumed his pacing. Tove smothered a smile.

Minutes passed and Tove continue wat watch and listen, interested in Hayden explaining to their mother about his surprise houseguest. Completely engrossed in the conversation he missed the first tentative knock at the door. The second time around he turned towards the door.

“Mom!” Hayden interrupted, his words tumbling over themselves. “She’s at the door, I have to go!”

Tove motioned he would get the door and chose to ignore Hayden’s insistence that he would answer it. Curious, Tove wanted the plre ore of greeting Natalie first. His brother’s frantic posturing only increased his intention to beat him to it.

The door swung open and Tove looked down…on a thin, pale woman gazing up at him with large brown eyes, her lips trembling.

“Hello, Natalie,” Tove greeted warmly, forcing the shock and concern out of his voice. “Hayden’s just getting off the phone. Here, let me take your suitcase.”

Natalie’s lips formed the semblance of a smile and directed it somewhere in the vicinity of where Tove stood, but her eyes surveyed the room. A movement attracted her attention and she tilted her head back and looked up into familiar eyes. Inside, her heart cried out.

“Natalie,” Hayden breathed, discreetly examining her wan face. Pleading, relieved eyes peered up at him and he opened his arms. She walked into them and buried her face into his chest, heaving a sigh as the arms she’d missed gathered her close, the steady, strong beating of his heart a welcoming song in her ear.

Over Natalie’s head, Hayden’s worried eyes met Tove’s. Gaunt and pale, Natalie’s face remained hidden while the brothers silently conversed through facial expressions. With her in his arms, Hayden could feel the loss of weight in the boniness of her shoulders. The loose fit of her clothes couldn’t hide the way her head drooped on her neck as if sleep refused to be a companion.

“Well,” Tove broke the silence as Hayden laid his cheek on top Natalie’s head and rocked her in his arms, “I have to go. I’ll take care of getting a copy of the script to George.”

“Thanks, Tove,” Hayden said, gratefully.

“No problem. I’ll see you two tomorrow. Good night, Natalie. It was nice to see you again.”

“You too, Tove,” Natalie’s manners switched on. She turned her head to attempt a smile at him and yawned, unable to hide her exhaustion.

“Night, Tove,” Hayden said absently, his mind already returning to the million questions plaguing his mind.

Once he was gone, Hayden eased Natalie away so he could scrutinize her. Even now, she looked hauntingly beautiful, her eyes large and dark in her pale face, her lips bright red against the whiteness of her skin. He wanted to tell her so, but it tumbled out, “Natalie, you look awful. What in the world has happened?”

I can’t tell him yet, Natalie bit her lip as her eyes flickered to and away from him like a fluttering butterfly. “I’m so tired,” was all she could say in explanation.

Hayden nodded his understanding. “It’s late.” His tongue poked out and licked his lips. “Um, do you want the guest room or are you going to sleep with me?”

The question upset Natalie’s equilibrium. With you! She longed to cry, but his question filled her with doubt. Maybe he didn’t want her in his bed. Her eyes wavered from his.

“The guest room will be fine,” she answered, her eyes studying her feet.

Natalie missed the flash of disappointment in Hayden’s eyes. Hayden led her to the spare bedroom.

“Get a good night’s sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow,” Hayden suggested, turning at the bedroom door. For a moment he thought she was going to ask him to stay, but she closed her mouth, pinning her lips tightly together and nodded.

Hayden walked through the apartment turning out lights and latching the door. When he returned to his bedroom he sat on the bed and listened for the faint sounds now and then of Natalie as she prepared for bed. Only the fact that she was really there kept him optimistic, but it was going to be a long night. How could he sleep knowing she was so close? What kind of God took delight in this style of torture? If he had penance to do, couldn’t it be something simpler?

Hours later, Hayden still tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position that would finally bring him the blessed relief of sleep. He punched his pillow and slammed his head down. The sooner he could fall asleep, the sooner morning would come and he could finally talk to her. Go to sleep, Hayden, he groused at himself. Just go to sleep!

Alertness stilled his body, his ears pricking for a sound never made. Yet, something expectant immobilized him. Moments crawled by and he stared at his door. With a ghostly glide, it opened. In the dark, his eyes pinned on an angel floating towards his bed. She paused beside the bed and stared down at him, her eyes finding his in the dark.

“I can’t sleep,” the spirit whispered, rousing him from the spell.

Hayden lifted the blankets and Natalie crawled in beside him snuggling against his warmth. For long minutes he held her, hardly daring to believe it. His hand slid over her back in soothing circles and she sighed, the sound forlorn and lost against his neck. The scent of her filled his nostrils and he breathed deeply. Her whisper barely reached his ears, but snagged his heart on the words.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

Hayden’s heart swelled and he drew her closer. “I missed you, too,” he brushed the hair off her cheek with tender strokes. A smile lit his face in the darkness. In minutes Natalie lay against him, snoring softly, safe in his arms. Gently, he turned on his side and spooned her against him, his own eyes suddenly heavy. He sighed. There would be sleep tonight after all.
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Mine To Give -COMPLETED - EPILOGUE FINALLY DONE!