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The Moon and the Sun	By : soleil Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Malice Mizer Views: 3160 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Malice Mizer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter 8

Közi stood in front of the bath-room mirror shaving and getting pretty for the evening. An evening with long lost friends. The only one he still saw from time to time was Mana, and that he would rather forget about..

Thinking about it he realised that it had been quite a while since the last time he had seen the princess. Ten months? A year?

A few years ago that would have pained him but now he was older and wiser and knew that his private meetings with Mana served only to relieve the other man while he himself got torn to pieces and left alone to deal with it -till the next time Mana needed relief..

Közi still remembered the first time he had made the mistake..

Flashback

Közi, Kami and Gackt were sprawled on the furniture of Közi's living room, heavily drinking and smoking and that would have been a normal picture if there hadn't been a few small facts that made the situation seem rather weird. First of all it wasn't even three o clock yet and although Közi and his drinking habits had no preference at what time of the day he would get smashed the other two men didn't usually drink that much in the middle of the day. Secondly there was no single sound to be heard in the room except for the occasional sigh from one of them with Gackt producing the deepest and most heart wrenching ones. No music, no TV, no conversation at all. In general they appeared as if they had just returned from a funeral.

"What do you think he is doing right now?" Gackt asked Közi with the saddest voice ever imaginable.

"Dunno," Közi answered and took a sip from his whiskey-bottle "I guess that he is making a voodoo-doll with your features while contemplating which one out of burning and drowning is worse."

No-one laughed at Közi's joke, not even Közi himself but that was because he truly believed that Mana would be doing something along those lines. He had known Mana the longest out of them and he had been often enough on the receiving end of Mana's anger to know that an enraged Mana was as dangerous as a wild panther with p.m.s.

"I am serious, should I call him again to see if he's ok?" Gackt spoke again. "Maybe if I'd explain to him why I want out.."

"Don't get me wrong pal, but I don't think that he wants to talk to you. Ever again." Kami said. "Hell, if I was him I wouldn't either. It's Mana we're talking about. He doesn't understand that other people have feelings and needs. He can't see beyond himself. This must feel like the ultimate betrayal to him."

The men fell silent again. They all knew that Kami's words held a healthy dose of truth.

In this thick, almost touchable silence all three of them had nearly a heart-attack when Közi's phone suddenly started ringing. Közi went to the device and picked it up.

"Moshi-moshi(*)?" he greeted but heard no reply. He shook the device a few times (in case there was something wrong with it) before holding it again to his ear and repeated the greeting. After a few moments he thought that he could hear faint sobs.

"Mana-hime(**)? Is that you?" he took a guess not really believing that it was him.

"Kozi, he left.." Mana whispered weakly. Közi had never heard Mana in such a state before. He sobered up immediately. He had always had a soft spot for his weird friend. A big soft spot.. A spot that occupied almost his whole heart and it tore aforementioned organ into shreds to hear him like this.

"I know." he said matter of factly. He couldn't lie to his princess.

"Will you leave me now too, Közi? Will you also turn your back on me?" Mana was crying openly now and Közi felt like dying.

"No Mana, I won't." he said firmly. "Listen now, I will be there in ten minutes. As soon as we hang up I'll be on my way. Do you want me to come over?" It was obvious that Közi didn't really know how to handle the situation, but he had decided to try.

"Hai." Mana whispered through his sobs and hung up.

Közi didn't even look at his gaping friends, he just headed to the door grabbing his jacket on the way out and stopped only when Gackt's hand took hold of his arm.

"How is he?"

Közi blinked a few times as if he had totally forgotten about Gackt's and Kami's presence but replied soon enough: "Don't worry, I'll take care of him."

Gackt cast his eyes down and let Közi go.
___

Közi felt still shocked when he stood at Mana's frontdoor and waited for someone to let him in. Even more so when the door finally opened to reveal a white blur that attached itself firmly around Közi's neck. The blur was Mana who was still crying and sobbing in an almost hysterical fit.

"He left, Közi-(hiccup)-kun (sob). Gone. All.. (hiccup) .. all for nothing. So many years. sob.. sob and I..." Közi couldn't understand what Mana was saying but he embraced him firmly and walked with him into the house closing the door behind him.

"Shh Mana-hime, don't cry, please calm down.." he murmured into the blonde wig and made soothing motions with his hands on the other man's back.

"Közi, I.. sob.. how could he do this? Közi, please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone. Sob.. My world is gone.. destroyed.." Mana was shaking and clinging onto him for dear life, so Közi reflexively tightened his arms around him and was surprised to feel the shorter man's legs wrap around his hips.

He sat down on the first surface he spotted with the crying Mana still in his lap and concentrated hard on the fact that he had come over to spend comfort and not fuck him senseless..

..But it was so damn hard. Közi had been wondering for years how it would be to sleep with Mana and the fact that he was half-drunk with an obviously at least equally drunk and not to mention desperate Mana in his lap didn't help his situation right now.

Közi finally realised that he had more self-control than he would have given himself credit for and kept muttering soothing nonsense, all the while stroking his back till Mana was halfway calm again.

"I am so lonely Közi-kun.." Mana whispered and Közi felt the words like a punch into his mid-section. "I will be always there for you Mana-chan, as long as you want me to." he whispered back straight from his heart.

"Please, I don't want to feel like this anymore.." Mana said and rubbed his body on Közi's. At first Közi's hazy mind thought that it was receiving wrong information but when he felt Mana's mouth on his neck and an unmistakably growing bulge rubbing along his abdomen there was no room for doubts anymore. Közi knew that this was a very wrong thing to do but he wasn't in any state to deny Mana anything, furthermore that the mere thought of the act set his neither region on fire.

Közi's hands changed their patterns and found their way to the zipper of Mana's dress. When the dress was opened and his rough fingertips touched soft and naked skin he heard Mana sigh.

"Mana-hime, are you sure that you want me?" Közi made a last half-assed attempt at being a gentleman. Mana didn't reply, at least not verbally, he just rocked his hips creating friction between their groins.

"Oh fuck," Közi hissed and stood up to carry Mana to his bedroom all the while kissing the beautiful but broken doll in his arms.

---

That had been the first and last time Közi had seen Mana like this. All the other times he had come to him he had been very composed, almost business-like asking him to be his lover for a night.

It wasn't that Közi didn't want to sleep with Mana, but he couldn't help but feel used when the other man's behaviour was so cold while he himself had some deep feelings for him.

And that's why he hadn't been happy at all to hear Mana on the phone today. But he had been totally wrong, because Mana had been with Gackt and planning a reunion for Mizer.

He always knew that he had a soft heart inside his very hard core..

Közi smirked into the mirror and managed to cut himself.

* : moshi-moshi = greeting used when picking up the phone
** : 'Mana-hime' = princess Mana
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The Moon and the Sun