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Ship wrecked	By : KarinVAM Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 3333 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Bam’s lips were so soft against his own that Ville hadn’t been able to resist feeling it again. Even now his breathing had slowed down to a normal pace, and his body was calming down.

But now his heart was racing once more, as Bam’s lips touched his again. Slowly opening and tracing his lower lip carefully with his tongue. Like he was asking for permission to deepen it.

And Ville opened his mouth. Opened up for him to let his tongue slowly slip past his lower lip and stroke his tongue with his own. Ville moaned softly when Bam pressed harder into him and started stroking his cheek with his thumb as he did.

Ville didn’t know why he did it. Why he didn’t stop Bam as he pressed himself closer to him and deepened the kiss. Making it more passionate and letting their tongues dance around each other.

Why he didn’t push him away like he should.Why it felt like nothing he had ever felt before. Like he had never dreamed of feeling.

Why Bam made him feel……like this. Feeling like he couldn’t even begin to describe. Like it was a dream. Like it was all very far away, and still so very close. Like he was in the clouds observing himself from a distance, and close enough to be inside Bam’s head.

And it was nice. It wasn’t gross, or disgusting. It was truly something else. If he only knew what it was.It left him nothing but confused, with all these thoughts racing through his
mind. So fast he couldn’t really think anything at all, because his thoughts were gone before he could define them.

And what scared him most if all, was not Bam clinging to him like he was now the one needing air. It was simply the way his mind was spinning out of control. He had never been this out of control sober. Maybe not even drunk.

He needed to get out of here. Get himself to think straight again.

No pun intended.
But he couldn’t get himself to pull away from Bam’s needy grip and the warm body surrounding him. He caught himself moaning loudly when Bam’s hand curled in the hair in the nape of his neck. And all of a sudden, his mind seemed to work again.

And he wished it hadn’t, because now…..he realized this was heaven. This boy, he wanted to weep from the need for contact he obviously had. It made it all so much harder.

Again, no pun intended!

But then Bam was the first to pull from him. Slowly withdrawing with closed eyes, slowly opening and mirroring a dreamy but slightly fearful look. A look that make Ville weak in the knees, and knotty in the stomach.

And made him want to run. It made him run. Without a word he ran, getting up, and leaving Bam without looking back.

Walking through the forest and down the cliff, on his own without asthma attacks, but panting rapidly from the kiss they'd shared.

**

Jesus fucking Christ. Why, oh god why had he done this. Ville had kissed him, yes. He'd been able to breath and still he had kissed him again. He had thanked him, and he'd held him close.

And really kissed him.

So why, god why, had he launched himself at the guy, and held nothing back while he plundered his mouth with his own. Why had he felt nothing but freedom with Ville’s mouth on his own.

Free from the darkness that was his mind. Free from the cage he had been locked away in for all these years. No medication, no alcohol. It was a kiss that had cured him for the moment.

From Ville.

He was out of his own head, and floating above himself feeling nothing but the blissful feeling.

It wasn’t until he felt Ville moan against him he realized how real this really was. That he was actually kissing Ville.

The guy he was stuck on an island with. Who didn’t understand him or wanted to be his friend, but cuddled him to keep him warm at night. The guy who made him feel like he hadn’t felt in years.

A guy.

It was then when he pulled away. The feeling of ultimate bliss ebbing away when he realized what this really meant. They were both guys and they were making out. That wasn’t the same as a woman and a man, he sure knew that. Yet this felt more natural to him then anything ever had.

But he wasn’t gay, was he?

No, No he wasn’t.

Then what was this?

He felt fear, for his own feelings, and reactions. But also for Ville’s. And how this would change things. Ville had kissed him, but he had launched himself on him like a love sick puppy. That sure hadn’t been the idea.

And when he had looked into Ville’s eyes, he had seen his own feeling reflected back at him. Fear, shock, confusing, everything.

But in a split second it was all gone. Ville pulled from him, and got up. Without looking he ran from him, and disappeared behind the trees.

Leaving him, like every one had over time.

He knew it wasn’t weird for Ville to run. Or that this should mean anything more then them never mentioning this again and moving on like they had.

But he couldn’t. This hurt. Ville made him feel so safe, and so free. Like he used to be. Like he was getting another chance to be himself again.

Ville didn’t treat him like he was made of glass, like everyone else had while they were around him. He said what was on his mind, and made him do the same. He didn’t ask how he was doing, so he didn’t have to explain himself. For once, he was alright.

Or he had been.

Because seeing Ville run from him, was making him fall so hard from his high. Straight down to rock bottom. Lower then on his lowest days.

Without medication, he just couldn’t handle a situation like this. Pain like this.
He needed to….he needed to stop feeling like this. Desperately he reached for his chest, to the flesh that covered his heart. It ached so bad, and he wanted to make it stop. He needed to do something to make him stop feeling this way.

Anything….

**

Ville had reached the beach in record time, and was now sitting under a tree, trying to calm down. He was already regretting running from Bam, and felt sorry for the sweet boy
that was still on the cliff. The boy that saved his life. The boy he kissed.

A boy.
That was the scary thing, Bam was a guy.A guy he had feelings for.

No, let’s not go there. He didn’t want to be with Bam. He didn’t love him.

Who mentioned anything about love in the first place?

God! The whole point here was, that he cared about Bam yeah. He couldn’t stand him sometimes, but he cared. But being with him….that was something he couldn’t do. He didn’t dare. Not yet, and maybe not ever.

……

Oh good god, they way he had looked at him, the way he had felt. That kiss, god it had been so…….he wanted more. He craved more.

Ok maybe not, not ever…..

He just needed to go look for Bam, and thank him for all he had done. And that he wanted to be his friend. That he cared, but right now, that was all he could handle. He just needed to explain. He just needed to forget the kiss and they could go back to the way things were.

And that was what he was going to do, twenty minutes later after he had gathered his thoughts and gotten up.

Until he got past the lake and found Bam, already down there.

“Bam, oh god I’m so glad…….Oh my god Bammie, what did you do?!”

Hi cuties! Thanks so much for all the support! Sorry for the drama, and the cliffhanger! But you know me, I can't help myself! Promise it will be better! I have to, or Punksbitch is going to kill me! lol naah honey, You'll just be upset and I don't want that either! Thanks sweetie for all the support and once again, this is for you!!
Please tell me what you think, cause I'm dying to know!!
Much love and kisses!
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