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Sugar, We're Going Down	By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2889 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
A/N: Thanks so much to cutegirl12356, LilyRose, Little_Miss_Disaster and lolo313 for reviewing!
Also I've got some news. In less then a week I'll be moving out to attend school, and that means I will be pretty busy. My updating might be limited, since school must come first, but I'll try to update as often as I can.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue!

--

Gerard had always been obsessed with death. He thought about it almost everyday and he had drawn pictures about it. He had written songs about it. Gerard was obsessed with death. He had thought about doing it before, but never like this. Right now in Gerard's eyes, the only question was 'how'. He thought about hanging himself, he thought about taking pills, he thought about drowning and he thought about slitting his wrists.

*

He sat on the ground staring up at the sky with something hidden in his hands. He picked it up, looked at it, and then put it down again before closing his eyes around the silent tears. The moon was bright and it made Gerard look almost like an angel. His black hair fell over his eyes as he leaned his head forward to look at the item in his hands.

It was silent and dark, except for the moonlight shining down upon the ground where he was sitting. His lips trembled when he tried to open his mouth to say something. To whisper something to the wind maybe. There as no one there to hear him, he was all alone. Gerard knew in his heart he had always been alone. Even when he performed in front of 5000 people he was still alone. Even when Frank nibbled his neck and entwined his fingers with his, he was still alone.

He let out a sigh before placing the item next to him. Instead he picked up a small black book and a pen. The book was worn and the covers almost fell apart in his pale hands. He had gotten it from Frank when he turned 20, and he had loved it from the moment he laid eyes on it. In that book he had written some of their best songs, and he had drawn countless pictures of Frank. He used it as a diary as well, and in it there was… well…

He sighed again as he lifted the pen to fill another page in his little black book. Silent tears found their way down his face and crashed onto the worn pages of the book as he wrote. His tears looked like they were made of silver in the moonlight, and maybe they were. The wind ruffled his hair as the pen scribbled across the page, most carefully. He needed this to be perfect, the last thing he ever wrote.

When he was done he read what he had written and smiled to himself. He knew it was twisted to smile in a time like this, but he couldn't help himself, this was so beautiful in a way. He lay the book down on the ground before taking of his shirt and his shoes. He stood up, the bright light from the sky making his chest look even paler then it really was. He took a few steps, then stopped and turned around. He reached for the item he prized so highly and picked it up. He looked at it for a few seconds before kissing it lightly, then laying it back down on the open book.

With a last sad smile Gerard turned around again and walked closer to the edge.

*

Frank was running as fast as his legs could carry him. He was out of breath, but he didn't slow down for a minute. His heart was racing, not only because of how fast he was running, but because of all the pain that lingered there. The only thing he cared about was to get there in time.

*

Frank had been hanging with Ray and Bob when Mikey ran into Frank's hotel room and shouted that Gerard was going to kill himself. Ray, that had been having a pillow fight with Bob tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face. Bob dropped the pillow and just stared at the panicked Mikey. Frank however, stood up walked over to Mikey and grabbed his arms, a little too hard, and shook him.

"What are you talking about Mikey? Are you sure? How do you know?" He demanded the skinny boy to tell him. Ray scrambled to his feet and hurried over, he grabbed Frank and pulled him of the shaken Mikey and told him to calm down.

"I found this in his room." Mikey said sobbing. He held his hand out and in it were a small note. Frank ripped it from his hand and red it out aloud.

"Tell Frank I'm sorry for everything."

That was it? Six words on a piece of paper, the only goodbye he had left behind?
Frank felt his heart sink and he looked over at Mikey who was now being comforted by Ray. Bob still stood in the middle of the room, completely stunned. Frank walked closer to Mikey and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Where is he? Do you know?" He asked trying to make his voice sound as calm as possible. He wasn't calm. Frank was slowly dying inside; the mere thought of Gerard being gone was killing him.

"I think he's at the lake, he talked about that yesterday. He sounded weird and stuff." Bob finally opened his mouth. Frank didn't need anything more then that, he ran.

*

"Faster!" Ray shouted at Bob who was falling behind, however he didn't slow down to wait for him.

When Frank had ran out the door the others weren't far behind. They didn't grab anything, except for Ray who grabbed the car keys. The four of them got into the rental car they had, and Ray drove. Frank had been telling him to break the speed limit, and after a few miles Ray did. When they reached the parking lot at the lake Frank was the first one out, and he ran like they had seen no man run before.

Frank didn't know where he got the energy from; it must be from the fact that Gerard might be dead. Frank pushed the thought away as he continued running. He couldn't think like that, Gerard couldn't be dead. Frank knew he would die if he didn't have Gerard with him.

Finally he reached the cliffs where they used to swim every time they played in this part of the country. He didn't see anything, or anyone. At first. When he came closer he saw the things Gerard had left behind and he cried out in pain just as the others came up to him.
Without a word the three of them walked over to the edge and looked down into the dark water below them.

"There!" Ray shouted before he dived into the water. They had seen bubbles emerging and Ray was the first to react. Mikey wasn't crying anymore, but he held on to Bob with such force he almost hurt him. Bob didn't even seem to notice.

Frank walked back to the small pile and fell to his knees. He saw the black book first, and picked it up. He stopped when he saw a small item fall from the page, and picked that up as well. He stared at the item with a confused expression before looking down on the page. He saw that Gerard had used his best hand writing, and the text was almost perfect.

There are so many things I could say right now.
There are so many things I should say right now.
But really, there's only one thing I can say.
I love you Frank, I always have and I always will.
You have always been the light in my dark life.
You have been the reason I've been waking up everyday with a smile on my lips.

This might seem selfish of me,
But I'm just trying to make things better.
Frank, I'm ashamed.
I'm ashamed because I hurt you.
I'm ashamed because I can't apologize.

I bought that ring two months ago,
And I wanted so bad to be man enough to give it to you.

Now it is yours to keep.
Keep it to the day you die.
The book is for you too.
That book is about my life,
And about my heart.
Frank, that book is about you.

The day you die I will be waiting for you.
Frank, I want to spend eternity with you.

Frank couldn't cry. All he could do was stare at the text, and the small ring in his hands. He heard the others screaming and yelling behind him but he couldn't react.

He didn't react until he heard Bob shouting his name. He slowly turned around and came face to face with his friend's concerned face.
"We called an ambulance, Ray did mouth-to-mouth." Bob said quickly, but he frowned when Frank didn't reply. "Did you hear me? HE IS NOT DEAD!" He said firmly grabbing Frank by the shoulders.

Frank let the words sink in for a few seconds before getting up to his feet. He pressed the book and the ring to his chest as he stumbled over to Mikey, Ray and Gerard. Ray told him Gerard was unconscious but Frank didn't listen. He kneeled next to Gerard's body and just stared at him, still clutching the two items closely to his chest.

*

The paramedics arrived and they placed Gerard's still body on a stretcher. The last thing they said before closing the doors and leaving was 'We don't know yet'.

--

A/N: So yeah, CLIFFHANGER!!!
Bwahaha *evil smirk*
Just rate and review please, and maybe next time there will be no cliffhanger ;)
(I love the first part of this chapter, the Gerard bit. The rest I didn't like, but oh well...)
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Sugar, We're Going Down