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Nobody's Home	By : EmilyRose Category: My Chemical Romance > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
A/N: I'm sorry for this chapter.
I really am.
HAH!

This part is for my JennJenn, because I love her.

Song: Broder Daniel - I'll Be Gone
Diclaimer: I own nothing, and the song is by a Swedish band!

--

I won't last long
soon I'll be gone
I won't last long
soon I'll be gone

A few days later I and Frank stood outside of the door to his apartment. He was fiddling with his keys and couldn't get them to fit into the hole. I laughed at his low curses, but shut up when he glared at me. He finally got the door opened and we walked inside.

We were there so he could get some things. My parents were out of town for the weekend and I didn't want to be alone. Rather then staying with him in his tiny apartment I suggested that he came and slept at my house. After all he had spent almost every day there since… Well since…

Suddenly the air left my lungs and I had to grab onto Franks shoulder so I wouldn't fall over. He yelped in surprise, but his facial expression changed when he saw the look on my face. He tried to talk to me but I couldn't hear him. I couldn't even understand what he was saying. I saw his lips move, but not a sound reached my ears.

I felt like I was going to explode, my insides where burning and my head spinning. I knew what was happening; I was having a panic attack. I struggled to get air into my lungs, but I wasn't succeeding. I fell to my knees, and Frank fell with me. He grabbed my shoulders and… told me to breathe? Was that what he was saying? Maybe he told me to calm down. I didn't know. All I knew was that it had to stop.

Finally I could hear again, and the sound of Franks voice was the first thing I heard. "Gerard, are you okay? What's happening?" I couldn't reply however because I was still trying to steady my breathing. He gave me a hug when he saw that I had calmed down enough to breathe normally, and he tried to get me to talk to him. But I couldn't. I didn't want to. I was done. Over. Finished. I didn't… Fuck.

It's all the same to me
there's nothing to see

Two weeks. That's how long it took before I was taken to a mental institution. Everyone tried to get me to talk, to react, to do anything. But there was always nothing. Just… nothing. No one knew what had happened, no one. Not even me. I was doing so fine, I was over Mikey and I was falling for Frank. But then my world came crashing down.

My parents blamed Frank for the state I was in. He was with me when it happened, and he couldn't give them a real explanation, therefore it was his fault. In their eyes that is. Frank blamed himself as well, I could tell. He never looked directly at me when he visited, he couldn't seem to bare look at me. I didn't care; I never looked directly at him either.

I was dead inside. I didn't feel tired, or hungry. I never felt anything.

[Franks Point of View]

I was so nervous, as usual, on my way to the institution where they kept him. His parents didn't like me visiting him, but I had to. I just had to. It was my fault somehow, I knew that. Who else was there to blame?

I sat on the bus, biting my nails, while my insides where storming. I felt like I wanted to throw up, but not, at the same time. I was tired, because I couldn't sleep well. I missed Gerard too much to be able to sleep like I should. I was angry almost all the time, and I had lost a lot of weight. Not as much as Gerard though, he was only skin and bone. And still he didn't talk. I knew it had something to do with Mikey, but that was all I knew.

Finally the bus stopped in front of the institution and I got off it, together with another person who looked to be in the same state as me. It was a lady in her mid thirties with long blonde hair and troubled eyes. I studied her face for a few seconds, letting random questions about her roam around in my head.

Who was she? What was she doing here? Did she also have a loved one locked up inside of that building? When we reached the doors I held it up for her and she gave me a smile as she walked inside. In there I had to stop for a few seconds and take a deep breath. I always had to do that before visiting him. Bracing me for what was to come.

"Hi Gerard" I said as usual. And as usual there was no reply. He was sitting in a living room type of room together with some other people. The others were doing… well crazy stuff. Some of them anyway. Some of them were watching TV, but some of them were talking to themselves or other random stuff. It didn't feel like Gerard belonged here, but maybe he did. After all he didn't talk.

I bit my lip as I tried to get my monologue going. I always had a hard time in the beginning, with what to say. But after a while I started talking like there was no tomorrow. About random stuff mostly. Telling him about my days, about what was happening in the world, about the bands he liked and stuff like that. Today however it felt different and I couldn't form any words.

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek as I leaned forward to take a hold of his hand. Of course he didn't react to my actions, but I had to do something. His gaze was fixed on a spot in the distance, and his face emotionless. He was just staring ahead, dead to the world. I held his hand in mine and ran my fingers across his palms. "I'm sorry" I whispered finally. "I'm so sorry, and I just wish you'd be okay again" I knew this wouldn't work. I had tried to plead with him so many times before.

I had cried on his shoulder, I had screamed at him (earning myself the honor of being thrown out of there by the guards), I had threatened him and I had begged him. Nothing seemed to work. It just flew in through one ear, and out the other. Or maybe it didn't reach him at all. I let out a sob as I let go of his hand again. "I'll hold on forever Gee, I'll always wait for you"

I knew the words I spoke where true. For some reason Gerard had broken down, but I was going to stay by his side until he got better. If he got better. The fact is that no one knew. He had locked himself up in his head, and who knew if he was ever going to let himself out.

A nurse walked over to us and gave me a soft smile as she sat down next to Gerard. "Gerard, it's time for your medicine now" She said as she held up two pills and a glass of water. "Open up" She said, and it was scary to see that not even that small command reached him. She had to pry his mouth open, and then place the pills in his mouth. She had to help him to drink the water as well. And I had to sit there and watch the man I loved being helped like an infant.

My insides where acing just as much as my heart was, and I had to stop myself from breaking down. I had to stay strong, and I had to keep my faith.

I feel so weak
I won't last long
I feel so weak
weak in the world

For three months Gerard didn't change. He was still the dead on the inside and emotionless. I visited him almost every day, and the days that I couldn't visit him I had the nurses to tell him why. Somewhere in my head I knew that he couldn't hear me. But I had to believe that he did. I had to believe that Gerard knew I was there, that he wanted me to be there.

His parents gave up the whole 'blaming me' thing. His mother cried and apologized and his father just hugged me without a word. I forgave them, I knew they were just as miserable as I where. Perhaps even more.

Another visit, another day just like the rest of them. I sat next to Gerard in the sofa in the common room at the institute. There was some lame ass show on TV but I didn't care. I wasn't watching it anyway. I was just sitting there next to Gerard, who weren't looking at the TV either. Out of habit I had one arm around Gerard's shoulders, just for old time's sake. I knew he didn't know it was there, but I did. And that was enough for me.

Finally I knew I had to leave, so I took my arm away from his shoulders and stood up. I bent down to give him a hug and then a peck on the cheek. "I have to go now Gerard" I said as I stood back up. "But I'll be back tomorrow" I added, just incase he could hear me. And there it was. Just for a second, I nearly missed it. His eyes darted up towards mine, and then they went back to the distance. But that was enough to make my heart get caught in my throat as I sat down on my knees with my hands on his lap.

"Gerard?" I said with tears in my eyes. And there it was again. His eyes found mine, for a few moments this time. I felt my heart pounding like crazy, and my fingers went numb. Then the miracle happened, and by God that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

"Frank"

Just one word. One word went over his lips before his gaze became distant again. One word before he was lost inside himself once more. I knew he wasn't fine yet. And I still didn't know if he was ever going to be fine. There was still a chance that that word would be the last he'd ever speak. One word. My name. Frank.

there's nothing for me to be
what will happen to me
what will happen to me
although I'll soon be gone
I'll still think of you
oh I'll think of you
and I will soon be gone
- 8
- 9
- 10
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Nobody's Home