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Skinned Knees and Broken Hearts	By : KioraDragon Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Avenged Sevenfold Views: 2531 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Avenged Sevenfold. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Chapter Nine: Real Life Dreams
Brian’s breathing was harsh and rapid as his hips thrust hard against pale skin. He was kissing and biting the arched neck his face was buried in.
“Brian, Bri…” A soft, breathless voice whispered.
Brian pulled away and looked down at Zacky’s face. The younger man was panting trough his slightly parted lips. His jade eyes were glazed over with pleasure. He watched Zack licked his lips and whimpered in his throat as he pressed their lips together. Brian moaned into the kiss, loving the way Zacky’s snakebites pressed against his skin.
Zacky gasped and whined against the other guitarist’s mouth as Brian’s thrust hit inside him just right.
It was not too long after that Brian felt the younger man tighten around him. Zacky broke their lip lock in favor of tilting his head and arching his back. He dug his fingers into the other man’s shoulders. “Brian…” he gasped. “Love you…”

Brian startled awake. His eyes blinked open as he glanced around. He moved to sit up, but then realized he already was. He was panting softly as he looked around the living room: grumbling about falling asleep on the couch and soar muscles. His eyes fell on the bottle of JD sitting on the coffee table.
“Holy shit…” he whispered to himself as the dream he had, hit him square in the face. He let his head fall into his hands, elbows resting on his knees. That was just a dream: yet it felt so real, like it actually happened. Brian opened his eyes and looked down at his lap. “Fuck.” He also had an erection to top it all off.
“Goddamn fucking Jimmy.” he swore. That dream was all because the drummer did not know how to keep his mouth shut.
Brian Shook his head, not really sure if he was trying to convince himself or not. He stood up and put the bottle of alcohol away; then headed off up the stairs to bed. He turned on the lamp at his side of the bed before turning to go back to the hallway and shut off the light there. He glanced at his clock as he stripped down to his boxers. It was almost six hours after he had put Zacky to bed.
“Thank God,” he sighed as he went to put on his pajama pants and noticed his erection had died down. He felt weird enough as it was climbing into bed with a four year old Zacky. He really didn’t want to know how it would feel if he still had a hard on.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he watched the sleeping boy. He felt a smile tug at his thin lips at the sight of Zacky’s tiny arms wrapped around Syn.
Icky was sprawled out at the foot of the bed: looking for all the world like an up-side-down throw rug.
Brian reached over and brushed the soft brown fringe away from Zacky’s face. He smiled a bit wider and then leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the boy’s forehead. “Sleep tight Z.” he whispered and then laid down on his side of the bed. He pulled the covers up and turned off the light.

Pleasure filled jade eyes and whispered ‘love you’‘s haunted Brian’s dreams.
Every time he shut his eyes all his dreams wound up the same. It was strange though, and not just the content of the dreams. They were played out in random parts; not exactly the same but more like part of a whole. It was sort of like skipping around to different scenes in a movie. They may not be in order; but it gets played out in its’ entirety one way or another.
By the time morning rolled around: Brian had finally given in. He admitted to himself that his dreams were not dreams; they were a memory. One played out in full by his sub-conscience; triggered by the words of a four year old. Brian had figured out that it was the night they had celebrated the celebrated the filming of ‘The Beast and the Harlot’. They had all gotten so plastered Brian was convinced that one more shot of Jager and he would have been sober again.
Brian lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as he remembered that night. They had all been too tiered to sleep, so as usual Christ and the Rev suggested they go out and party to celebrate.
He remembered how he freaked out the next morning; waking up naked in bed with an equally naked Zacky Vengeance cuddled up next to him. He remembered how terrified he was, not for the reasons one might assume; but terrified he had just lost his best friend. All because he could not keep it in his pants when he was shit faced.
Brian had held the shorted guitarist close to his chest, just incase this was the last time Zack ever let Brian touch him. He lightly squeezed his arms, reluctant to let go of the younger man. But he had, coward that he was; he had slipped out from under Zacky and dressed quickly. He had left with a last kiss to the other guitarist’s pierced lips.
Their friendship had been a bit strained for the next couple of weeks. Brian had pushed the memory of how Zacky’s pale skin felt against his own and all that went with it to the back of his mind. He successfully ‘forgot’ the event.
Neither ever let on that anything had happened; which served two purposed: Brian being able to forget it and so Matt did not put Brian in the hospital for touching his oldest and best friend.
Think of the devil and he shall ring your door bell. Brian mental groaned as he saw Matt’s car in the driveway. He opened the door and glared at the other man.
“Can I help you?” Fro such an innocent question there sure was a lot of venom dripping from it.
Matt, Brian noticed, had the decency to look guilty. He could barely look the guitarist in the eye. “I…uh,” Matt shrugged one shoulder. “I heard Zacky got sick.” He took a deep breath and looked up into Brian’s eyes. “Is he ok?”
Brian mentally cursed Jimmy and his big mouth once again. He stared coldly at the singer as he stood in the door way; obviously blocking the entrance and any peek inside. “He’s fin,” Brian paused and tilted his head a bit. “He had a fever, cough, and soar throat. The fever…” Brian shrugged a shoulder. “But the cough and soar throat are because I shoved my dick down his mouth.” He growled, eyes flaring with rage.
Matt winced at Brian’s words. Val had all but killed him when he had come home that day. He had wound up spending his nights on the couch since. He was pretty sure he was lucky to get that; considering Val had banned him from any type of bed, including the pull out one that was inside the sofa he was sleeping on.
He finally gave up on being head strong when Val had screamed at him. She had called him a jealous bastard and yelled that if she wasn’t enough; he could pack his shit and let the door his ass on the way out. She told him that if he was so in love with Zacky then he should let the guitarist be happy.
He hadn’t quite understood what she meant until he had gone over to Jimmy and Johnny’s.
Jimmy had answered the door with a glare, much like Brian’s; only the drummer’s softened when he got a good look at the other man.
The three had talked for a while, figuring out exactly why Val had told him what she had and what Matt’s problem was.
The singer had confessed that when he and Zack were teens, they experimented with each other. Nothing too extreme, mostly jerking each other off, a few blowjobs, and they tried a sixty nine a few times.
Then Zacky got a girlfriend and stopped messing around with him. Matt however never stopped wanting Zack. Val had come into the picture later that year and Matt eventually fell in love with her. The rest, as they say, is history. Matt still has felling for the guitarist, but he keeps them far from the light of day. They were no more than best friends now.
Jimmy had smacked Matt off the back of the head and told him he had a boat load of shit to apologize for. He told the singer that Zacky was sick and the go clean up his mess; then literally shoved Matt out the door. Which led Matt to where he was now: on Brian’s door step.
Matt sighed at the look on the guitarist’s face. He knew he deserved it and was willing to take his punishment so he could fix his screw up.
Matt bit the inside of his lip; he couldn’t use macho bullshit here. “Brian, I know just saying I’m sorry isn’t going to take back what I said to you…” Matt was expecting Brian to scoff; to tell him he was damn right it would take a hell of a lot more; to punch him in the face. Matt wanted him to do something, anything except stand there silently; watching him with utter contempt.
“Could we maybe talk?” Brian stood there as if waiting for more. “Inside?” Matt added.
Brian stood still for a few more seconds; taking a sadistic sort of pleasure out of the singer’s discomfort. He watched the singer shift awkwardly from one foot to another and then back again. He pushed the door open and then turned on his heel. He walked back into his house and left the door open for Matt.
Matt sighed with relief as the door stayed open for him and quickly followed the guitarist inside. His eyes followed Brian as the man set up the coffee maker. He sat down at the table and waited for Brian to join him. The guitarist did not say anything as he sat down: he just raised a brow, letting his expression speak for him.
They both sat there in silence, Matt had never felt this nervous and uncomfortable in his life. He took a deep breath, as though gathering all his courage. “Look man, I know just saying sorry won’t fix anything.” Brian just blinked at him. “But I really am sorry I called you that. I know you aren’t a pedophile or child molester. I know you would never hurt Zacky.” Matt licked his lips this was a lot harder than he thought it would be.
“I’m sorry, but… I got jealous Brian. I’ve known Zacky since forever and here he turns up four years old over night. He can’t stand for me to touch him, he only holds onto you. Lets you hold him, and let’s you sing him to sleep, and lets you play with him, and names his teddy bear after you …” Matt grimaced; he could have gone on and on, but figured Brian got the point. “It just didn’t seem fair. He was my Zacky.”
Matt looked down at his hands; at some point his index finger had started to scratch along the skin at the side of his thumb by the nail. He stopped and used the nail of his other index to clean the dead skin out. It was a nervous habit of his; one that didn’t surface all that often.
Matt looked back up at Brian, glad that the other man’s face had softened a bit. “Brian, I’m sure you can understand jealousy. But mine was fueled by more than that of a best friend.” Matt took a breath and let it out slowly as he chose his next words.
Looking Brian in the eye he said: “Zack and I used to fool around when we were teenagers. I had fallen in love with him.” Matt licked his dry lips again. “But then he got a girl friend and wanted to stop.” He shook his head slightly as he remembered the pain he felt that day; stabbing little pin pricks all over his heart. “We never messed around ever again after that. Then we met Val, all three of us became friends. One night I kissed Val and never looked back.” Matt swallowed the lump in his throat. He cursed his body for betraying him; he wasn’t this choked up at Jimmy and Johnny’s.
“I love Val, don’t get me wrong; but I never fell out of love with Zack. And it hurt so badly when I couldn’t even touch him.” He watched as Brian’s expression softened and changed in to one of understanding.
“I know that that is not an excuse for what I said and did. But I really am sorry Brian.”
Brain sat, still and silent for a few minutes after Matt’s monologue. He had noticed that not once had the singer verbally asked for forgiveness, yet his body language and facial expression were begging for it.
When Brian finally spoke his voice was low but firm. “What is it that you want exactly?”
“To fix what I fucked up… For you and Zacky to forgive me.”
And there it was; what Brian had been waiting for. The guitarist hadn’t wanted for Matt to apologize just to him. He wanted the singer to ask for Zacky’s forgiveness as well. The other man hadn’t hurt just him, but the four year old as well.
“You have mine. Zacky however, is still asleep.” Brian got up and poured himself and Matt a cup of coffee. “You’re going to have to wait till he wakes up to apologize.” He put one of the steaming mugs in front of Matt.
“Thanks.” The singer whispered, and it wasn’t just for the coffee.
Brian blew cool air over the steaming liquid; he was about take a sip when he heard coughing and sniffling from his bedroom.
“I’ll be right back,” He said over his shoulder as he grabbed the cough and fever medicine off the counter and disappeared up the stairs.
Zacky clutched Syn close as he swallowed down the disgusting red goo. He shook his head when Brian asked if he wanted to change out of his pajamas. He sniffed a few times until Brian made him blow his nose in a tissue.
Zacky grabbed one of the soft blankets from the bottom of the bed; he held it and Syn in his left arm and raised his right up to Brian. “Upie?” he asked pitifully, lips pouting and green eyes on the verge of tears.
Brian looked down at Zack standing on the bed. The boy was milking his cold for all it was worth; he now knew that this was where adult Zacky had picked it up from. He rolled his eyes playfully at the boy then grabbed the blanket out of the four year olds arm and wrapped it around Zacky. He lifted the boy up and settled him on his hip. “There is someone down stairs who wants to see you.”
Zacky looked at him curiously; he glanced over Syn’s fluffy head and say Icky sitting patiently on the bed. Icky was there… “Who?”
Brian inhaled and considered his next words. “Someone who wants to talk to you,” he said as he walked out into the hallway. Two thumps signaled Icky wasn’t far behind them. “Do you want Kix’s for breakfast?” Brian asked as he started to walk down the stairs; tactically avoiding Zacky’s curiosity about their visitor.
Zacky grinned at the mention of his second favorite food item. “Yeah!”
Brain kept talking to Zack, asking what he wanted to do after breakfast, if he wanted to watch movies or cartoons. Brian was in the middle of another question when he was cut off by Ichabod growling. Both Brian and Zacky looked down at the small ball of fur.
Icky was barring his teeth and growling low in his throat; the fur on his spine was standing up right and his tail was fluffed to the max.
Brian followed the dog’s gaze to Matt. “Icky, it’s Matt.” He looked back down at the dog, his brows drawing down at Icky’s strange behavior.
“Ichabod!” He tried again when the small dog did not stop. Brian nudged Icky with the side of his foot. “Will you behave?” he scolded. Brian sighed exasperatedly and shrugged at Matt. Brian had never heard Icky seriously growl at Matt; even when Ichabod had first met Matt as a puppy, he had been yipping and bouncing all over the singer. The only time Icky growled at Matt was when the two were play fighting.
Brian set Zacky down and slipped three of his fingers under Icky’s collar. “I’m gonna put him in the spare bedroom.” Brain went to lead the dog by the collar up the stairs; but something was attached to his pajama pants. His brows drew down in confusion as he moved his free arm out ward so he could better see what was attached to him.
Zacky’s fingers were clutching at his pants, while he was glaring daggers at Matt. “Zacky?” Brian’s voice held a hint of worry in it. The only response he got was Zacky moving his arm around to the back of his knee and grabbing a fist full of his pant leg there.
Matt shifted uncomfortably at the table; his index finger was once again scratching at the side of his thumb.
Brian sucked in a breath of air and then blew it upward at the hair falling in his eyes. Well this should be interesting… Brian thought to himself. He picked Zacky back up and grabbed onto Icky’s collar. The angle he had to hold himself at was, to say the least awkward. Balancing Zacky and holding onto Ichabod, Brian made his way cautiously up the stairs.
Brain pushed Icky into the spare bedroom; he paused when Icky sat facing him and whined pitifully. He watched as the dog’s eyes shifted from him to the four year old and yipped then whined again. Understanding finally dawned and Brian knelt in front of Icky. “I won’t let Matt hurt him.” He ran his hand over the dog’s head and then massaged his ears for a few seconds.
Icky seemed to be placated. Brian stood back up; not exactly and easy feat when holding a four ear old. He watched as the dog jumped up onto the bed as he shut the door. When he turned to to go back down stairs, Zacky started to squirm and whine in his arms. “Zacky, wha,” Brian shifted the boy to accommodate his squirming.
“No.” Zacky whimpered quietly as he looked up at Brian and pouted.
“No what, Zackary?” Brian asked looking at the little boy expectantly.
Zacky frowned at him and then laid his head on Brian’s shoulder.
Brian, also, now knew that twenty six year old Zack’s physical way of avoiding questions stemmed from childhood. He took a breath and slowly let it out; he felt a headache coming on.
As he walked back into the kitchen Brian found his guest slouched over. Matt’s feet were set wide apart on the floor, his elbows resting on his knees with his fingers interlaced. His head was hanging down and he seemed to be contemplating the pattern on the floor tiles.
He looked up when Brian came into the room, following the guitarist with his eyes. He watched as Brian took his seat from earlier and set Zacky down in his lap. The little boy hugged Syn to his chest and narrowed his eyes at Matt.
Matt swallowed, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. With Brian it had been a bit easier; he knew what he had done wrong. He could explain himself and apologize; he knew that Brian would understand what he was trying to say. With Zacky, all Matt knew was he had made the boy cry because of his screaming and yelling.
“How are you feeling? I heard you got sick.” Matt bit the inside of his cheek.
Zacky just stared at him.
Matt sighted and looked sadly at the four year old. “Look Zacky, I’m sorry I yelled and screamed. I’m sorry that I upset you, hurt your feelings, and made you cry. It’s just… I was feeling sad because you didn’t like me.” Matt was feeling extremely guilty and stupid as he simplified his feelings for the four year old. “Will you forgive me for being mad, yelling and making you cry?” Matt asked hopefully.
Zacky blinked at him and then shook his head. “You made my Brian cry,” stated the four year old matter-of-factly.
Matt was about to say something else until he caught Brian’s head shake before he could. He nodded and stood up.
Brian set Zacky on the floor and told him to go pick out some movies for them to watch and to wait for him on the couch. He stood up and walked Matt to the door.
They were both standing on the front porch in silence. “You know he wouldn’t forgive me.” It wasn’t accusatory, it was more of an observed fact. A statement that was so simple yet had so many different meanings.
“Yes.”
Matt nodded and headed off towards his car.
“He’s a child Matt,” Brian said out loud as he looked up at the sky. “He doesn’t think the way we do.” Matt stopped at his car door and turned his head to look at the guitarist.
“Thanks Brian.” Matt nodded before he got into his car.
Brian nodded back and watched the singer drive off. He waited until the car was out of sight then went back inside.
Zacky was curled up on the couch, head resting on a pillow and watching cartoons. He was covered with the blanket he had taken off of Brian’s bed; Syn was held loosely under his left arm.
“So what are we watching?” Brian asked as he walked over to the sofa. Zacky pointed to a few dvd’s on the table. Brian picked them up and shuffled through them. “ What one first?” He fanned the cases out and held them out in front of the four year old.
Zacky pointed to one with a shiny blue and purple cover and Brian set the others back down. He put the disk into the player; then snagged the remote off the top of it before sitting by Zacky’s feet.
Zacky immediately ditched his pillow in favor of laying his head on Brian’s lap.
Brian smiled down at the little boy, it was sort of a nostalgic look though. While four year old Zacky was cute and sweet, Brian found himself wishing the twenty six year old version of the boy would come back. He missed the other guitarist and his best friend.
Brian sighed, he was not watching the movie with Zacky. He was thinking about random things; about Zack and what the guitarist meant to him; about how it had been several weeks, almost a month since Zacky had turn up four. He though about how they still did not know how to get him back to his right age. About what would happen between the two of them when Zacky finally did become twenty six again.
He stared out the windows and at the walls. His hand had begun to absentmindedly pet and stroke Zacky’s hair and back. They went through the movies Zacky had picked out; then took a break for lunch of none other than grilled cheese. The four year then wanted to watch cartoons for a while.
Brian took Icky after they all had dinner. He was still in his head, thinking and doing things mechanically. When he and Ichabod got back, Zacky was half asleep on the couch.
Brian went over to Zacky and smiled as the boy waved and blinked sleepily at him. “Come on Zackyster, time for bed.” Brian moved his arms under the boy and lifted him up. Zacky’s whined protest was cut short by a big yawn.
It was highly interesting how Zacky could go from: about to fall asleep on the sofa to wide awake in bed; riveted to the sound of Brian’s voice reading his bed time story.
“Pumpkin purred as Penny petted his head and ear while Penny’s parents kissed he good night. ‘Good Night Penny, we love you.‘ They said. ‘Good night, love you too.’ Penny rolled over to face Pumpkin. ‘Good night Pumpkin, I love you.’ Pumpkin blinked at the girl, he nuzzled into her side and purred. He now knew what love really meant and he loved Penny too. The End.” Brian shut the book and set it with the rest that had started to take over his night stand.
Zacky looked at him expectantly; he blinked and then pouted when Brian didn’t immediately sing him his song. Brian smiled and rolled hi eyes. “Ok… ok… Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost, it’s empty and cold with out you here , to many people to ach over…..”
Zacky was yawning and his eyes were half open by the time Brian finished the song.
“Good night Zacky,” he said as he kissed the boy’s forehead.
“Bri?”
“Mmmm?” Brian hummed as he reached to turn out the light.
“Do you love me?” Zacky asked timidly; clutching at Syn tightly, just incase of rejection.
Brian stopped his movement toward the lamp and sat back down in the chair; the one that had been taken out of some random closet. He thought about his answer for a few seconds.
“Yes Zacky, I do. I love you now, I will love you in twenty two years, and I will love you always.” Brian kissed Zacky’s forehead once again
“I love you too!” Zacky smiled and snuggled into the bed and pillow.
Brian smiled sadly wishing more than anything that it was the twenty six year old Zack he was talking to. “Sleep tight Z.” He turned out the light and left the door half way open. He paused in front of the door to the spare room. Mind made up Brian turned the knob and pushed the door open.
He glanced around the room as he walked over to the closet. He pulled the sliding doors apart and looked at the bottom of the closet. He bent down and picked up one of several old shoe boxes. His calloused fingers rang over the lid; they traced the bold black lettering on the top of it: ‘Avenged Dorks.’ was written in Zacky’s familiar scrawl. He smiled fondly at the box and then sat in the middle of the bed.
Brian set the box down in front of him and pulled his legs up: Indian style. He lifted the lid and put it down behind him. His fingers ran over the top picture then down the first stack a quarter of the way. He lifted them from their box; then rested his elbows on his knees and started to flip through them. They were all of either him and Zacky, or just Zacky. Most of them were pictures that either they or the rest of the band had taken. The rest were from emails or letters that fans had sent them; some were from magazines and photo shoots; others were even printed off the internet.
His favorite pictures were always on the top, Brian made sure of that. He ran his index finger over the glossy surface of the photo in his left hand. They were sleeping in a hotel some random hotel bed. The picture was an insanely old one, from very early on in the band’s history.
He went through them all, setting them into net little piles on the bed. Recalling memories for each and every one of them. When he finished looking at all of them he meticulously put them all back into the box. The box then went back into the closet.
A quick glance at the clock told him it was roughly five hours after he had put Zacky to bed. Brian groaned as he stretched his arms up towards the ceiling . He ran a hand tiredly over his face and left the spare bedroom. He brushed his hand over the light switch in the hall and made his way blindly to his bed.
Chapter Nine End.

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Skinned Knees and Broken Hearts