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Forbidden	By : Firithfalaswen Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1324 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Panic! At the Disco. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 9

Sunny’s POV

When we got home I told Ryan to go and get into bed while I made him something to eat and got him a soda. He was cuddled up beneath the covers of his bed when I got there, snuggling the pillow and staring into nothingness. I left the food on the nightstand and sat on the bed by his side. He sat up and looked at the food.

“I’m not really hungry, you know?” He said.

“I know, but it will help with the drunkenness.” Ryan didn’t argue, instead gave a small smile and bit the pancakes. I held his free hand while he ate in silence. Once the pancakes were gone, he snuggled on the pillow again and pulled me to him.

“Thank you.” He said with a hug. Then he snuggled my neck and I just stroke his head as he slowly fell asleep.

Or so I thought. When I started to softly slide from underneath him, Ryan tightened his grip on my waist.

“Don’t go.” He whispered. “Please…” With a deep sigh I realized I couldn’t say no.

“Okay…”

“Lose your jeans, though. Or your hips will hurt in the morning.” Ryan said that like it was the most normal thing in the world. And it was, at least till a couple of weeks ago. He was half asleep, looking at me with heavy eyelids. I sighed and peeled the jeans, getting in bed with him. Ryan’s head came back to its place in my neck, his thumb rubbing the skin on my waist, his leg tangled with mine. I couldn’t stop myself from remembering the last time we were like this, part of me wanting to do it all over again, even when I knew it was awfully wrong. Once can pass as a mistake, twice can’t. After a few minutes in silence, Ryan sighed again. “Men are scum.”

“You’re a guy.” I said slightly amused.

“Yeah, and I haven’t been that innocent either.”

“Well, girls are complicated. That’s why I don’t like them.” Ryan half smiled and propped himself on his elbow.

“You’re a girl. And you’re not that complicated.”

“And I’m not that innocent either.” I said looking at him and biting my lip. “I better go--”

“No.” Ryan said going deadweight on top of me.

“Ry-aaaan!” I whined trying to push him off. He just giggled. “You’re really heavy for a sack of bones, you know?” Ryan leaned on his elbows, allowing my ribcage to move air into my lungs again, but his hips were still crashing mine. He looked down at me biting his lip. I knew exactly what he was thinking. “No.” I started, shaking my head.

“Can I…? Just…” He didn’t finish, instead he started kissing my neck softly. Even when I wanted this to happen, I wasn’t going to let him use me. And I wasn’t drunk this time.

“Ryan, you’re just on a rebound.” I said plainly. He stopped and looked at me again, then he shook his head.

“Only my pride is hurt, Sunny. Not my feelings.” Ryan put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I can’t--”

“I know.” Both sighed at the same time. I closed my eyes and gulped, half hoping he’d get off me, but he didn’t. “I-- I wanna… try… something.”

I opened my eyes again and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Just-- stay still… don’t--” He stopped with a gasp as his lips fell to my neck again.

“Ryan, I--”

“Please…” He breathed against my skin, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I gasped at his hand running up my thigh; his hips fell to the side and stopped crashing me. I could have gotten the fuck out right now, but I didn’t want to. I knew I should have, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to see what Ryan was going to do and I was going to let him do anything he wished with me. And to think five minutes ago I wasn’t going to let him use me…

Ryan sucked on my collar bone with a little more confidence as his hands massaged my thighs, my hips and slid up and under my shirt, lifting it up a little. He looked at me biting his lip, like looking for reassurance, I just gulped. He slid his body down, his lips dropping butterfly kisses on my stomach, making me shiver and shake, his fingers tangled on my panties and pulled it down my legs as his mouth played on my hipbone, his teeth sinking lightly on my skin. I didn’t even realized when I kicked my undies away, but I did notice his fingers starting to work down on me, flicking over my clit. I cursed loudly and startled him.

“I-I’m sorry, I--” He said, thinking he’d done something wrong. I shook my head.

“Do that again.” I breathed out. And he did, gaining a few sharp gasps from me. Ryan smiled an accomplished smile and worked his fingers faster.

“You were my first kiss...” He started, attacking my neck, sucking and biting. “…my first straight time…” He continued sliding down my body again, nibbling my tummy and hips. “There’s no one else I’d want to try this.” He ended. It didn’t really made sense in my head in that moment, as I was distracted by his fingers still teasing and stroking my clit.

My hands gripped the sheets and I groaned loudly when his fingers were suddenly replaced by his tongue. I forced my head up to look at him, his eyes closed like he was thinking really hard, one of his hands gripping my leg, the other I could feel it in my slit, fingers teasing my entrance as his tongue worked wonders on my swollen bud. I threw my head back on the pillow and bit my lip hard to keep it down, but it was so fucking hard… especially when those long fingers of his slid inside of me, one… two… curving inside… pulling out, going back in… Ryan’s tongue curled around my clit and he sucked it, making my eyes roll to the very back of my head. My hips bucked up uncontrollably, my head trashing from side to side, my whole body shaking from head to toe releasing a loud grunt and Ryan’s name in a hoarse whisper as I came.

Ryan removed his fingers and lapped my juices as I settled back down.

“It finally pays to watch those awful lesbian porn movies Brendon liked so much.” He said crawling back up and reclaiming his spot on my neck. I was still panting.

“I guess it does.” With trembling legs and arms, I pulled my panties back on and snuggled Ryan again. “Thank you.” I whispered, kissing his forehead.

“Told you, you’re the only one I’d even try. So don’t thank me.” Said that, he kissed my cheek.

His breath became softer and softer as he dozed off, but I was still more than awake. I still didn’t know where this was leaving us. Maybe I was just an experiment, seeing if he could actually be with a girl. Maybe he really had feelings for me and could at least try. Or maybe he was on a rebound whether he wanted to admit it or not. And I have a boyfriend… who was my only safe card.

How much longer could I play push and pull with all of our feelings?
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