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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship	By : delicatektheory Category: WWF/WWE > Het - Male/Female Views: 1885 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the WWE current or former talent. I do not own any of the lyrics featured later on. I am not making money from writing this. All I own is Lil, Jas, and Jenn.

Chapter List
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Kurt Merrette, well-established lawyer, New York Times Best-Selling Author, and my estranged biological father. I had always said that I would rather chew my own arm off and sew the mangled numb back together with a rusty needle than to go to him for anything. How could I turn to a man I had met a grand total of two times in my life? How could I even put my trust in him when he not only walked out on his wife of thirty-three years, but barely acknowledged my existence? What other options did I have? I couldn’t go to Jas. He wasn’t even speaking to me. I’m fairly positive that he would kill Matt and I both if he found out I was pregnant, and for that same reason, I couldn’t confide in my mother either.
            It felt as though leaving Matt would be a form of suicide, yet ruining his life—I could care less about mine at the moment—seemed much worse. I hadn’t decided whether or not I could eat enough gravel to beg for Kurt to let me, the daughter he barely knew, stay with him in California. On the other hand, if I left here, I could never come back, not to Matt. That was a heavy price to pay if I wanted what was best for him. Would this hurt him? Most definitely, but I was sure I could soften the blow if I gave him some excuse, some reason for me to leave. Like Kurt was on his death bed and his dying wish was to make amends with me.
            In a melodramatic move, I had torched the letter I had worked so hard on and washed the giblets down the sink. Just in case I did decide to leave, I was going to cover my tracks.
            Matt had spent an entire day off sleeping, so Lucas and I were cocooned into a bubble of silence in the living room.
“What do you think of California, boy?” I asked as I scratched behind his ear. He looked away from the television and up at me. I could almost see him rolling his eyes.
Great, even the damn dog knew what I was thinking.
“What?” I scowled. “I tried to tell him.”
Lucas gave a muffled bark in protest.
“I did,” I insisted. “He said I wasn’t the person he was meant to be with.”
Lucas barked again.
“Well, implied that I wasn’t the one,” I corrected, “which you and I both know is a lie. He may look at me as a friend now, but who better for him than me, right?”
Maybe it was my delusions, but the dog looked like he was nodding in agreement with me.
“But the bottom line is that he doesn’t see things our way, boy, so I have no other choice but to excommunicate myself. I don’t want to ruin his plans.”
Lucas growled this time.
“I know. I know,” I sighed, running my hand along his back. “Sacramento isn’t the best place to go, and Kurt’s probably not my greatest solution. He probably wouldn’t even help me, no matter how much I kiss his ass.” I gasped, looking down at my stomach. My little egg probably didn’t have any ears yet, but I didn’t want to leave anything to chance. I didn’t want the first word that my baby heard come from me to be a curse word.
“Butt, I meant, ‘kiss his butt.’”
The ball of fur barked again.
“What? It’s not like you can tell him.”
He whined.
“Look, I don’t even know I’m leaving yet. I’m just telling you in case I do.”
He turned his head to lick the back of my hand.
“Don’t be like that, boy,” I chuckled, kissing the top of his head. “You Hardy men aren’t supposed to wear your emotions on your sleeves—well, snout in your case… You were fine before I came here and you’ll be fine after I’m gone.”
He whimpered again, nuzzling his head back under my hand.
I needed to talk to Jenn about this before I acted impetuously because of my current range of emotions. After all, she would be the one taking care of the mess that I would be leaving behind. Someone I trusted was going to have to slowly remove the fragments of me from Matt’s life. God knows I’m too much of a coward to do it myself.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Jenn’s number.
“I think I might leave town for a while,” I said the moment I heard her pick up.
“You’re fucking kidding,” she shrieked.
“Calm down, I said that I might leave,” I emphasized, surprisingly keeping my voice calm. “I still haven’t made up my mind. I just thought I’d let you know, so you can take care of some…things, assuming that I do.”
“The fuck you are!” Her angry tone spewed from the phone, causing Lucas to growl in response. “What happen last night at that romantic dinner with your baby’s daddy? Did you tell him?”
“I wouldn’t call it romantic,” I frowned. “And I was getting around to telling him…As I suspected, he doesn’t want this, Jenn. I’m not going to force him to accept it.”
“Lil, please don’t leave,” she begged.
“I told you I haven’t decided.”
I was silent for a few moments.
“Come stay with us,” she offered.
“I can’t do that.”
“Lil, you can’t leave.” I could almost hear her choking back a sob. “We’re supposed to go through this together. We’re going to be mommies. I need you here.”
I sighed. “I know, but for once, what I need to make something easier on myself,” I explained. “And the easy thing to do is walk away. But that’s my problem, I’m not sure I can.”
“Take the easy way out,” she barked, unleashing the wrath of hell upon me. “Run away, Lil. Go ahead. Be just like your father. But once Matt knows the truth, he’ll change his tune, and you’re going to regret leaving him. Sure, he may not want it right now, but he will take responsibility for it. Yeah, just run away, Lil. I don’t care. I wish you the best in whatever you decide. I love you.”
The line went dead.
Just like him? I felt an acidic surge of hatred towards Kurt and Jenn. How could she even say something like that to me? This was ten times worse than her calling me a whore. Hormones couldn’t be blamed for this; this was all Jenn, every hurtful word of it.
“I’m not my father!” I cried out as I hurled my phone at the television.
Lucas yelped in surprise as the television screen shattered and glass sprayed across the floor.
I blinked, unable to register what I had done.
A split second later I could hear Matt’s heavy footsteps running down the stairs. “Lil,” he called frantically. “Lil, are you okay?”
He came rushing into the living room. It looked like he had fallen out of bed and gotten tangled in all the bed sheets. He was stumbling as he pulled the quilt behind him. If I hadn’t been so upset, I would have laughed.
Wide-eyed, he looked from me, to Lucas, then to the television.
“What the hell happened to my T.V.?” he shrilled, sounding almost like girl.
“My cell phone needed a closer look,” I mumbled, not looking at him.
“You…My high-definition,” he whimpered, dragging himself closer. His eyes were glued to the fragments of glass that were now strewn across the carpet, “My television.”
“It’s not like you watched it,” I shrugged.
He stepped over the glass and looked into the gaping hole that used to be his television screen. With his thumb and index finger, he picked out the sizzling hunk of plastic that was my phone. He held it up for a minute and then dropped it on the floor.
“A phone,” He looked up at me, his brow raised. “Why the hell did you murder my expensive, perfectly good TV with an expensive, perfectly good phone?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I reassured, angrily. “The next time someone compares me to Kurt; it will be a priceless, irreplaceable head going through your expensive, perfectly good T.V.”
“What?” he asked, his tone demanding an explanation.
“Nothing,” I muttered, inadvertently knocking poor Lucas off my lap as I stood up. Matt liked Kurt about as much as I did, so he couldn’t be brought up without an unintentional heated conversation. “Forget it.”
Lucas was hesitant at first, but followed me as I started walking out of the room.
“I can’t just forget it,” Matt retorted, pursuing me as well. “Not when Kurt is involved. Tell me what happened.”
“Don’t worry about it, Matt. It’s no big deal.” I tried to pick up my pace as I headed for the guest bedroom.
“Yeah, I bet,” he scoffed. “I mean, I always chuck a cell phone into a TV every time Adam’s mentioned.”
Adam “Edge” Copeland was the married man, colleague, and former friend that had seduced Amy; therefore, that makes him the other man that Matt detests.
I stopped and turned around to face him, my head cocked to the side. “Well, if I remember correctly, when you found out he was…you know, you acted like a five-year-old and set all Amy’s stuff on fire.”
“First of all, I can’t recall a single five-year-old that is capable of arson. Secondly, her leftover stuff didn’t cost over $4,000.”
“I’ll replace your precious television,” I grumbled, turning on my heel and walking again. “Just leave me alone for a little bit, okay?”
“Fine, I will, just as soon as you fill me in.”
I sighed, pausing at the bedroom door and looking over my shoulder. “Matt?”
“Yes?”
“Put on some clothes.”
I held the door open for Lucas, slipped inside, and shut the door in Matt’s face. I crawled onto the bed and laid in a fetal position, which I found a bit ironic. Lucas hopped up, nestling in front of me so I could cuddle him. I sighed wrapping my arm around him and burying my nose into his fur.
Kurt was a runner, but me? I’d like to think not. He had avoided his old life all together and created a brand new life someplace else. I would never avoid or deny the fact that my real home was in North Carolina. Where my father had been in a committed relationship, I am not. I’m just as free to walk away from this as Matt is. Did cashing in on that deal make me a runner? No. Did it make me a piece of chicken shit? You bet your ass. But, I should never be lumped into a category with a spineless, narcissistic man like my father. Jenn should have ripped out my heart; it would have less painful.
While I was lying in bed, I started thinking about the first moment I realized I was in over my head with Matt. It had been a few days after our first encounter. We had a few awkward meetings after that because, due to our circle of friends, we could not avoid each other completely. He would never make eye contact and tried to not be left in the same room with me.
There we were, left alone in Shannon’s pool. Matt was across from me, his back pressed against the edge of the pool. He was staring at me, in apprehension of my next move.
“So, uh, what about this weather?” he asked as he cleared his throat.
I giggled, wading through the water. “I’m in a two piece bikini with my tits hanging out, and you’re asking about my opinion on the weather?”
He stiffened as I took place next to him. “We agreed.”
“Well, sorry I didn’t realize the no-sex policy included a no communication clause,” I sneered. “I fucked you one time, Matt. That doesn’t mean that, by us having a conversation, we’ll end up doing it again.”
“You’re damn right we won’t.”
“Still sore about the age difference deal, huh?”
His sudden movement caused me to jump. He whooshed in front on me, standing with his arms folded across his chest. “Why wouldn’t you tell me the truth?”
“I knew you wouldn’t fuck me if you knew my age,” I replied, casually.
“So, you were using me?”
“Well, you didn’t exactly whisper sweet nothings in my ear,” I laughed.
He fell silent for second and then sighed, “I’m very sorry about that.”
“Why? I’m not. I enjoyed it. You can use me any time you want.”
When a girl is willing to be a slut for a man she barely knows, she has an enormous crush. And because I had such a crush, I told Matt I would never keep secrets from him again.
I sighed, snapping back into reality. “Yet, here I am keeping secrets,” I said, finishing my thoughts aloud. I looked down at Lucas. “This going to be very ugly either way, isn’t it? Staying or going I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
He gave a soft bark in reply.
“Couldn’t you humor me?” I pleaded.
Lucas looked up at me, and I think he gave me something equivalent to an eye roll.
            I pouted, thumping him lightly on his head. “Put your paws in my shoes,” I said. “If you were pregnant––”
            He barked again.
            “I know, but pretend that you’re a female dog. If you were in my position and knew you were ruining your mate’s life, you’d want a buddy to comfort you, right? So just make out like its okay to keep secrets and that whatever decision I make is what’s best for us.”
He caved and reached up to lick my chin.
“Thank you,” I chuckled.
“And I thought I was the only one that treats Luke like a human,” I heard Matt chuckle from the doorway.
“Matt,” I jumped nervously, hoping he had not heard me, “I thought you were going to leave me alone?”
“I left you alone…for fifteen minutes,” he replied as he crossed the room. I felt my body sink into the mattress as he nestled in behind me. “See, you said to leave you alone, but you didn’t say for how long.”
I grumbled, “You and your technicalities.”
He didn’t say anything else as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his body. I took a deep breath in an attempt to stifle a moan. Matt’s touch, that gentle strength he had always sent a series of chills down my spine. I knew that I was the only person he touched like this; it was his way of telling me that I was safe. I was an idiot for even thinking that I had enough inner-strength to leave this kind of comfort.
“I’m not going to ask any questions,” he said, kissing the crook of my neck, “because I think I have a pretty good idea what might have been said. You know Jas just said those things, because he believes that that’s what it will take to get you on his side…Just remember, honey, he’s more angry with me than you. We can settle this man to man, if that’s what you need me to do.”
“Oh, he’s equally angry at us both,” I sighed, “but even he wouldn’t stoop as low as to compare me to Kurt.”
“Oh?” He seemed taken aback by the idea that someone else would be mentioning my father.
“It was Jenn.” I squeaked, trying to swallow that lump in my throat.
“Jenn,” he gasped. “Are we talking about Jenn, Jeff’s Jenn?”
“That’s the one.”
“Why would she say something like that to you?”
I shrugged. It was easier to lie if I didn’t have to speak.
“Every little comment will set her off right now,” he said, giving me a comforting squeeze. “I know how hurtful it is to bring up Kurt and so does she. I’m sure she didn’t mean it. This is just like the whore remark.”
My voice cracked as I spoke. “Oh, she meant every word this time.”
He didn’t respond as he rested his chin in between my neck and shoulder. He probably decided that this subject was better left alone.
“Can we just stay like this for the rest of the day?” I asked after a moment.
“I have pieces of a TV to clean up.”
I rolled over, taking Lucas with me and making a space for him between Matt and me.
Matt was staring down at us, a peaceful expression across his face. God, he was beautiful.
“Please?” I begged.
“If you want to,” he replied without hesitating.
I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He rested one hand on my hip and the other one was stroking my hair.
The clock on the wall ticked loudly as each second passed. The only thing I paid attention to was the smell of Matt’s cologne. I couldn’t imagine waking up every morning without that fragrance in the air.
I need to smell his cologne. That’s a plausible reason for me to stay, right? Plus, I could not forget the fact that people have three basic needs for survival: food, air, and sex. If I went to California, there goes the sex. And no sex would be detrimental toward my lifespan, would it not?
My mind was spiraling out of control as it shifted from thought to thought.   I figured that it would be impossible for me to even sleep, but I did.
When I woke up, the sun had started setting. There was an orange glow filling the room. Both Lucas and Matt had disappeared.
I groaned and pulled my stiff body to the edge of the bed. I had to sit there and wait for the nausea to pass. I couldn’t tell if I was sick because of the baby or sick because I was so stressed.
“I need to talk with you, Jeff.”
Matt’s low murmur caused my head to jerk toward the closed door.
“Yes, I’m aware that this isn’t a good time…No, it can’t wait…I was curious, which one of our girls should be held responsible for replacing my TV? What’s wrong with it? Lil fucking harpooned it with her cell phone, that’s what’s wrong with it!”
I sighed. Here we go. I should have known that poor Jeff would be drug into the middle of this.
“Yes, I think I’d like to speak to Jenn about this.”
Silence for a few minutes.
I shuddered at the sound of his gruff, abnormal tone with Jenn.
“Two words—Kurt Merrette. I have to say I’m disappointed that you would go that far to win an argument, Jenn.”
There was a momentary silence.
“I don’t care about the reason,” he spat. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt her? She’s got the whole world against her right now. She doesn’t need you against her, too.”
Great, Matt was being my knight in shining armor. I was so disgusted with myself that I almost vomited right there. I fumbled for my crutches and clumsily rushed to the bathroom.
“What are you talking about, Jenn? Jenn…!” I heard Matt shouting.
My crutch tips started sliding on the bathroom floor as I tried to make it to the toilet. I was going to fall flat on my stomach. Panicking, I started scrambling toward the carpet again.
“Matt!” I cried out, screaming in a voice that I barely recognized. “Matt!”
I had two choices, and I definitely wasn’t picking the obvious one, which was to let the fall happen. My only other alternative was to risk a concussion and fall backwards onto the tile floor.
Vomiting on that same tile floor certainly didn’t help matters, either. While Matt was bolting down the hall, I was skating across the bathroom in a puddle of my own puke.
I heard the bedroom door slam against the wall as it was pushed open.
“Lily?” Matt called.
“M…” I was trying to answer him, but I was still throwing up. This had to be the most disgusting slow-motion fall in the history of mankind, but I wasn’t going down without the proper fight.
Matt came rushing into the bathroom, but the stench caused him to halt momentarily. “Oh. My. God…”
“Help me, God dammit!” I cried frantically, breaking my no-cursing rule.
Matt quickly wrapped his arms around my waist in an effort to keep me steady. “Drop the crutches,” he demanded. “I’ve got you.”
I complied, dropping my crutches right in middle of my mosaic of vomit.
He pulled me into the bedroom and sat me down on the edge of the bed.
I was trembling, but sighed in relief. “Thank you.”
He nodded, out of breath as he took a seat next to me.
“First, I ruin your television. Now, I ruin your floor.” I almost sounded like I was about to cry.
“Don’t worry about it. At least you didn’t fall.”
I wrapped my arms around my midsection, hugging myself.
“You’re getting sick again.”
“It’s just nerves.”
He nodded, pursing his lips.
We were silent for several minutes.
“Jenn says you’ve been keeping something from me,” he said.
I didn’t respond and kept my eyes glued to a spot on the floor.
“How serious is it?” he asked, turning to face me.
“Define serious,” I squeaked, my voice barely rising above a whisper.
“Lil,” he scowled. “No stalling. Tell me what’s going on. Whatever it is I can take it.”
Once again, I had more choices to make.
I took a ragged breath, finally turning to meet his gaze. “Matt…I’m pre––” My voice hitched—“I’m pre…tty, pretty messed up at the moment.”
He looked as though I had gutted him. He had heard something like that before. As much as I hated being compared to my father, it felt even worse being compared to Amy.
“Would you care to elaborate? What's going on with you and Jenn?”
“I was debating on moving out, which is why she was so upset.” Among other things, I thought to myself, but didn’t say it aloud.
“Why would you want to do that?” he asked somberly. “You’re the one that’s always saying you have no other place to go.”
I shrugged, avoiding his gaze again. “I’d be doing it for you,” I replied, softly.
“Me?” he laughed suddenly. “Why would you need to leave for me?”
“Your picket fence,” I replied, looking over at him. “If I’m out of your way, you can have that.”
“Ah,” he nodded understandingly, “so that’s what this is about?”
I nodded, continuing, “Matt, you are a great guy, a catch. You deserve to find someone. And you can’t look at me and tell me that the person you end up with is going to be accepting of me and the history we have together…I mean, do you honestly want me still living here after you’re married?”
“Our history is our history and no one needs to know about it. And yes, you can live here as long as you want. If someone else enters my life and can’t accept the fact that you are a large part of it, she isn’t the person I was supposed to end up with then is she?”
“Matt, Matt, Matt,” I sighed, shaking my head.
“What?” He looked at me, confused.
“You have gotten yourself into one big mess with me, do you realize that?”
“Eh,” he shrugged, “so I went and broke our don’t-form-attachments guideline. I’ve never really played by the rules.”
“That makes two of us,” I laughed, uneasily.
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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship