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Kinyoubi no Koibito	By : matchakitty Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Raphael Views: 1337 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Raphael. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Kinyoubi no Koibito part 8 by Matrim

Kinyoubi no Koibito
by Matrim
Part 8Comments: Madoka is my own chara. Please no stealies. He's my baby.
Song: Love Replica

Je t'aime...
Je t'aime...
Je t'aime...
Je t'aime...
Je t'aime...

Ton image dans le miroir parle (Je t'aime...)
Comme si tu savais que tout te flatte

“Oh…damn…look what I’ve gotten ourselves into.” Kazuki muttered. He dabbed at the corner of Yuki’s mouth with an alcohol soaked cotton ball. Hiro sat next to him, looking generally worried. He held the bottle of alcohol for Kazuki as well as the cotton balls. Yuki tried to pull away but Kazuki hissed at him to stay still. “Should’ve called Toshiya over to protect us. I’m sure and he and Kisaki don’t get along, right? I don’t know…” He got rid of the cotton ball and grabbed another one. “Speaking of bassists, where did ours go?” Hiro and Yuki peered around the room but saw not a lock of golden brown hair that signified Yukito’s presence. Kazuki made a noise in the back of his throat. "Right. Just like bassists, never there when you need them."
"I'm only a kid, this shouldn't be happening to me," Yuki grumbled, pouting a bit then stared at Hiro and goosed him just to cheer himself up. Hiro squeaked and moved out of the way, only making Yuki pout a bit more. Hiro smiled and moved back into his former spot only to have Yuki grab him and sit him on his lap. Kazuki sighed, straightened and took the alcohol and cotton balls away from Hiro and deposited it with his manager.
Kazuki stared at Yuki for a minute, ignoring the fact that Yuki's hands were starting to drift south on Hiro. "I'm really sorry, Yuki. I didn't know that this would happen. I heard security was looking for him though. We could press charges if you want, I would understand."
Yuki looked up at Kazuki for a second before shaking his head. "No. I mean, any publicity is good publicity but I don't want...I don't want this to get out. It would cause too much trouble, ne?"
Kazuki nodded and paced, a tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he thought. "We're just going to have him banned then."
Hiro squirmed in Yuki's embrace, before settling down a bit then looked up at Kazuki. "How'd he get back here in the first place, anyway?"
Kazuki froze in his pacing, turning slowly to meet the waiting eyes of his bandmates. "A-ano...."
Yuki's eyes narrowed. "You got him in here, didn't you?"
Hiro stared at Kazuki and frowned. "Kajurin....."
Kazuki fidgeted a bit, staring down at his feet and nibbling on his liprings. "I--well--I..."
"You did go out with him, didn't you, Jurin?!"
Kazuki glared at Yuki, and snapped back, "If you're going to call me by my nickname, Yuki, say it right!! And I didn't go out with him at all!!! He meant nothing! He is nothing!!!"
"If he means nothing, Kajurin--why the hell is he backstage?! And what was this about you being his?!"
Kazuki squirmed a bit before replying, "Because it was a gesture of gratefulness, much like how I thank him in albums and stuff!!! And I told he was lying!!! Why won't you believe me!!!!?"
It was a good thing Hiro was sitting on Yuki's lap or else Yuki would've been out for murder. As it was, Hiro gave Kazuki an unsure look before shifting in his human seat to distract him. It almost worked. Yuki's voice dropped a level. "I don't believe you because you're secretive enough as it is. And it just doesn't make sense!! You thanked the Sex Machineguns in our albums but I don't see Noisy or Anchang-san running around backstage terrorizing Yasu like they did last time!"
Kazuki crossed his arms and gave an indignant sniff. "It's because I'd invite Sussy."
Yuki snorted, "No. You're just like those little fangirls--'Ki-sama, Ki-sama!!'"
"Shut up, Yuki."
"'Ki-sama!!! Let me feel those long nails of yours in my back while you--'"
"Shut up, Yuki."
"'--kiss me harder, Ki-sama!!! Let me get on my knees and--'"
"Shut. Up. Yuki!!!azukazuki snapped, tears springing to his eyes. He cast the vocalist a scathing glare before he stomped out of the dressing room. He pushed rudely past other people, not bothering to say he was sorry. He grumbled under his breath as he stalked to the public restroom, then locked himself in the western toilet stall. He sat on the toilet and leaned against the wall. Idiots. He didn't have to take that. Yuki didn't have to rub it in like that. Yukito would not be please to hear how he just argued with their vocalist. The members of Raphael didn't fight. Well, not much anyway. And when they did fight, it was about unimportant stuff like food and who gets to sit next to the window in the bus or the van. Things that were fought over on brotherly terms--nothing that would seriously hurt anyone.
Kazuki nibbled on his liprings as he tried to console himself.
Well, it was only what you deserved. No one else but Yukito knew about Ki-sama and if they did, Yuki wouldn't have said anything. It's not his fault, only yours because you never tell anyone what's going on with you other than what you think they should know. Kazuki scratched his head a bit in frustration and made a face. Ick. Men aren't worth it. Should've stuck with girls. They may not do everything you tell them to because they care for you but at least, they won't beat someone up because they care for you. They'll just beat you up. But of course, those sentences only makes sense to me. Kazuki drew his knees up to his chest and hugged them, staring at his shoes. He wiggled his toes a bit andhed hed that he was in his hotel bed, snug, safe, warm and protected against the world outside. If it didn't hurt so much now, he was almost tempted to write a song about it all.

***********

"......And now Yuki's best friend, Tomo, comes back into the scene and he was Hiro's ex and he wants another shot at him." Yukito's shoulders sagged as all of the story was finally removed from him. "It's enough to drive me insane!"
Toshiya sat on Kaoru's lap as they smiled sympathetically at the young musician. "Well....you'll have to learn how to prioritize in this situation. Right, Kaoru?"
The purple haired guitarist nodded. "Which situation are you more worried about, Yukito?"
Yukito grumbled, running a hand through a golden brown lock of hair. "Kazuki. He's over there bouncing around like everything's normal when we all know it's bloody well not. I'm afraid that one day he's going to explode from holding it all in and I won't be able to find all the pieces to put him back together." He peeked up at Kaoru and Toshiya. "I mean, I figure that Yuki can take care of himself for a bit but Kazuki is the real problem here. He takes everybody else but forgets about himself! Hn! Guitarists."
Toshiya laughed. "That reminds me of someone..." He eyed Kaoru, a fine black eyebrow arching at the guitarist. Kaoru only grinned at Yukito pretending he didn't hear that. "Anyways, Yukito--just make sure that someone keeps an eye on Kazuki at all times, but don't make it too obvious. It's a good thing most guitarists are dense but they're not stupid. They'll notice someone tailing them everywhere."
Kaoru scowled and Yukito laughed. "What do you mean--dense but not stupid?"
"I didn't say you, now did I?"
"Yeah, but...nevermind."
Toshiya smiled to Yukito, petting Kaoru's hair. "That's why, Yukito-kun, as a bassist you have to keep an eye on your guitarist while your drummer keeps an eye on your vocalist. I assume that Hiro is very well versed this role?"
Yukito groaned, watching Shinya pick Kyo up off the scooter and plop him down on the couch to make him sit still. "Hiro....he looks after Yuki, but this is the first time he really ever had to look after Yuki, if he knew what I mean." There was a growl from Kyo as Shinya kept Kyo in his seat as make up assistants fussed over him then a squeak as Shinya's grip tightened. "But I don't think he could be like Shinya is with Kyo, I mean....Yuki may be a hentai but needs someone gentle like Hiro. He's really sensitive under all that cotton candy pink fluff."
Kaoru looked over his shoulder at Shinya and at Kyo, his arms around Toshiya's waist to keep him in place. "Well....Shinya is firm when he needs to be, because Kyo is a brat."
"Most vocalists are, Kaoru."
"Mm. But Kyo is a vicious brat and the only one that can tame him is Shinya." Kaoru replied.
Toshiya shifted then said, "Yukito-kun, your vocalist may be the sensitive bratty type. You should let Hiro deal with him. But then again, you might have to talk to Shinya about this--that is after you deal with Kazuki. Do you know of anyone other than yourself who is close to him?"
Yukito nodded, nibbling on his bottom lip as he thought. "Well, there is Miyabi. And then there's Yuki but you know, he has his own problems to worry about."
Toshiya frowned a bit, then shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Yukito-kun, I was just thinking to myself. Anyway, you get this Miyabi to keep Kazuki company."
"But Miyabi was the one who cheated with Yuki's ex-boyfriend."
Toshiya threw up his hands dramatically and fell against Kaoru in a mock-faint. "Agh!! Complications!! Fine...keep Miyabi away from Yuki." "But--"
Toshiya leaned over to grasp Yukito's necklace and pulled him close. "Yukito. You are a bassist. Bassists are a proud and sexy breed of musician. We know everything and what we don't know, we make up or we research it." Yukito giggled nervously at being so close to the tall man and coughed to try get serious. "Now, if you want to save your band, get in there and meddle!!!"
"H-hai, Toshiya-san!!" Yukito squeaked out as Toshiya patted him on the head like he was a five year old then pushed him away.
"Good." Toshiya nodded, making himself comfortable in Kaoru's lap. The guitarist made a face of discomfort under him. "Now do Dir en Grey proud and put your band back together."
Yukito laughed and stood, earning a raised eyebrow from Toshiya. Yukito giggled this time and saluted. "Yes, Toshiya-sama."
"You are dismissed, soldier." Toshiya said with a teasing grin on his face and waved goodbye to Yukito as the boy bowed to him and shuffled hurriedly out of their dressing room. Toshiya leaned against Kaoru and smiled. "Cute kid."

Yukito walked back to his own dressing room, a bit more confident then before and peeked in. Hiro and Yuki were tending to their own business. He chuckled. What was it with these people and sitting in their lover's laps?! (Awwww...c'mon, Yukito! People are comfy!~Mat) He quickly removed his presence and quietly went in search for Kazuki. He didn't bother to ask where he the other boy was. Subtlety. Right.
He scratched his head as he whirled in a 360 degree arc. Usually, Kazuki was running around taking pictures of himself or everyone else. He nibbled on a fingernail, thoughtfully before taking a chance and dashing toward the bathroom. "Kajurin!!! Kajurin!!" He peeked into the bathroom, found a stall closed and knocked on it. "Kajurin..."
The door unlocked and instead of Kazuki as he expected, a taller black haired man stepped out and smiled at him. "If you mean, the sweet pierced boy that was just in here, he left with another young man who looked vaguely like his brother." Yukito blinked, then remembered that his mouth was open before he closed it. The other man chuckled as he went to the sink to wash up, oddly dabbing at his eyes before doing so. He turned about to take a paper towel to dry his hands then noted Yukito's eyes on him. He smiled. "Yes?"
Yukito was used to men looking like women. After all, he was in the Visual Kei movement of music and he and his wife often shared make up tips. When he first started, she helped put make up on him. But with this man...well, he wasn't used to men looking like women on a regular basis. Kazuki always looked like boy whether he was wearing a dress or not--only if he put on makeup were others fooled. "Are you....you're Tomo, Hiro's ex, right?"
Was it his imagination or did the other man flinch? Tomo sighed and nodded, then smiled again as he brushed his hair away from his pretty face. "Despite what they're saying and I know they're saying a lot, I am over him." He replied, but Yukito didn't believe it. Tomo didn't look him in the eyes when he said this and his smile faltered. Then he beamed, slipping a lock of hair behind his ears. "I'm engaged now. I was going to tell them all about it."
A frown marred Yukito's cute face before he shook his head. "Well....I...who are you getting married too?" Is it me or does everyone like lying to themselves these days? Is this some kind of disease? Am I the only one immune to this?
Tomo twisted the silver band around his finger, obviously an engagement ring. "Oh.
She's a little shorter than me, he--I mean, she has red hair, and she's a drummer too. She's really sweet and very pretty. She'll take care of me."
Yukito nodded, not knowing what else to say. "Well, do you need any help finding Yuki and Hiro?"
Tomo shook his head quickly, "I plan on telling them tomorrow, ne? Yuki looked scared tonight and I don't want him scared again."
"Well....who is this girl? What's her name?"
Tomo paused, as he was ready to leave, seeming hesitant. His eyes seemed far away and Yukito knew that the man was making things up. "Erm....her name? Madoka...." He winced a bit and Yukito suppressed an amused chuckle. Definitely making things up. "Ano, look just don't tell Yuki and Hiro about this, okay? I want to. Ja, Yukito-kun!!" He disappeared out of the bathroom door, leaving Yukito to wonder how the man knew/remembered him but shrugged. Not his problem, until Tomo actually did something. He looked around the bathroom, spotted himself in the mirror and began laughing.
The world was insane.
He shook his head, deciding to head out of the bathroom himself to check on Yuki and Hiro, just in case Tomo did find them. He hummed a bit before noting another person vaguely associated with his band being escorted outside by security. Yukito frowned. "Why is it things happen when I'm not around?" He shook his head, sweeping into his dressing room calling out, "Alright, boys, keep it in your pants, because I'm coming in!!"
And he wasn't let down to hear:
"Damn. And I was gonna givro aro a blowjob to remember!!" Yuki pouted. Hiro laughed, trying not to blush while also trying to keep Yuki's hands somewhere chaste. Yukito shook his head as he entered and sat near the two. Yuki leaned over to peek at Yukito, his hands and Hiro finally agreeing that his stomach was a good zone to stay in. "Where were you? We were looking for you. A bassist is never around when you need them!" He gave a dramatic feminine sniff.
Yukito ignored him, gazing at the two in thought before replying calmly, "This little bassist was getting advice on how to handle his band." He gave a dramatic pause of his own before saying calmly, "And aren't you supposed to be in Hiro's lap, Yuki? Not the other way around?"
Hiro reddened considerably and Yuki made a face at him. "Hn. What's it to you anyway?"
"It was just a simple question," Yukito said, nonchalantly, secretly pleased that all was fine for now.
"Besides, how am I supposed to savor my conquest when I'm sitting in his lap?"
Hiro squirmed predictably at that, but Yuki had a tight grip around his waist and wasn't letting him go for anything in the world. "I am not a conquest--Yuki!!" His voice cracked when the vocalist managed to slip his hand down Hiro's shorts. Yuki snickered, nuzzling him. "And it was I who caught you!"
"You can't catch anything--not even a cold!"
Yukito listened to the friendly occasionally squeaking (on Hiro's part anyway) banter before slapping Yuki's shoulder to get his attention. The vocalist stopped trying to fondle Hiro for a bit and looked over.
"Yes, sir?"
"So may I safely assume that you two are now a couple."
Yuki rolled his eyes, then grumbled as his hand was removed from Hiro's shorts. "No, Yukito, we absolutely hate each other."
Hiro looked over, shifting on his chair making Yuki groan and writhe under him, "Yep. Can't stand him. So much so that I have to sit on him."
"Lovely. I've seen you've learned sarcasm. Come back and banter when you're as good as Kyo-san is at it." Yukito crossed his legs, running a hand through golden brown hair. "No, this is important." He turned to face them fully, a solemn look that seemed very out of place on his young face. "You are in a relationship now. And I know that you want to run around screaming to share your happiness with the world but...you can't exactly do that. The scene--this business that we're in--I know that it seems like it's acceptable to say something to everyone, not just to the musicians but to magazines and the like. But we can't."
Yuki went silent, not something that usually happened unless it cut close to home and Hiro held Yuki's hand supportively.
Yukito swallowed before going on, "I don't mean that you can't hold hands or kiss or anything, hell--I would never ever put that restriction on you if I can help it." He looked up into their eyes, occasionally glancing from one to the other, "But I want you to be careful because there are those who don't understand this type of thing like we do. I don't want you two to be hurt because of that. You've had enough of hurt. All I want for you two is happiness."
Hiro smiled at Yukito and Yuki was still quiet for a moment before breaking out into a silly teasing grin. "Ne, Yukito, you always go into this kind of conversation whenever we do something. You worry too much!!" Yuki reached over and ruffled Yukito's golden brown hair with a snicker.
"Mou," Yukito murmured softly, a gentle grin touching his lips. "I try to be serious and caring and this is the grief I get."
Hiro and Yuki smiled and replied as one, "And you'd have it no other way."
"Bah!" Yukito murmured before he stood. "Come...you can't stay in this dressing room forever. I'm hungry and a snack would be nice."

~*~

(Je t'aime...)
Non, jamais on ne pourra toucher (Je t'aime...)
Cette peau de plastique
C'est toute ta fierté

"He said WHAT to you?!" Miyabi's voice escalated making most people turn to look at them or at least, cast a glance over. Kazuki hushed him, dragging him along the sidewalk. "How could he say such a thing, Kazuki-san?"
"Nevermind," the other guitarist replied, keeping a tight hand on Miyabi's. "I mean, what would you do if Ki-sama punched you in the gut and face?"
Miyabi allowed himself being dragged along the sidewalk then shuddered. "I make sure never to make Ki-sama mad enough to punch me, Kazuki-san."
"Yeah, well, it happened and let's just say that his new escort is no longer Dai but five of the theater's most trusted security guards." Kazuki confessed and stopped when he could no longer pull along Miyabi as easily as he could before. He turned to see Miyabi standing still, peering at Kazuki worriedly. "Doushita?"
"Kazuki-san, you didn't put Ki-sama in jail, did you?"
The guitarist paused for a second before scratching the back of his head nervously. "I think so. I'm sure they'll keep him in for bail or something but Yuki won't press charges or anything. So, it'll all be okay!" He gave a tug on Miyabi's hand before the other young man stumbled forward after him.
"It's not okay!" Miyabi lowered his voice, catching up walk at Kazuki's side instead of being dragged along. "You put Ki-sama in jail--even if it's for a night, you put him in jail! You put someone important to you in jail!"
Kazuki stopped before dropping Miyabi's hand, turning around to look at him with a serious expression. "It is not my fault. He attacked Yuki. The consequence was that he was escorted out by security and probably is never able to come to my lives again. He needs to take responsibility for his own actions. He needs..." He swallowed, trying to clear the tears in his eyes and the lump in his throat, "...to understand that....we--I...can't be like how I used to be." He knew was being vague but he didn't want to be specific. He squirmed a bit, turning away from Miyabi's dark knowing gaze and stared at the ground as if it were some kind of interesting mural. "It's not my fault," he repeated, "It was his. If it weren't for his stubborn way of doing things and his stupid jealousy, he wouldn't be where he is. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. So, it's not my fault, Miyabi." He said, glancing up at the other man, his hands shoved into his pockets.
He nodded before he stepped forward, tilting his head to look Kazuki in the eyes, "Yes...he does need to take responsibility for his actions. And so do you, Kazuki-san. Because if it's not your fault, then you should be firm in your belief of innocence. Instead you sound like you're desperately trying to convince yourself of it." Kazuki frowned before shrugging stubbornly. Miyabi sighed with frustration.
Kazuki grinned and yanked him along, "Food...food is good. Thinking is bad. Let's avoid thinking." He spotted a ramen shop and ducked inside. Miyabi sighed again. They found a seat at a table and ordered some food. Kazuki avoided Miyabi's gaze and bounced slightly in his seat, winding fingers in his own hair.
"Kazuki-san."
"Eh?"
Miyabi tilted his head slightly. "I'm going to ask you a question and if you try any funny stuff, you can forget about getting help or anything from me."
"Ano.....okaayyy..." Kazuki replied, thinking that Miyabi had gone insane. He took a sip from his water and stopped bouncing. He leaned back, getting comfortable in his seat and continued to play with the short strands of his bleached hair.
"Exactly what was the relationship between you and Ki-sama?"
Kazuki froze then tried to play it off by looking for split ends in his hair. "I met Ki-sama after our first live in a true concert hall. It was when after our first mini-album came out." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and rubbed his right elbow with his left hand a bit awkwardly. "I remember that night because I was thanking the audience and I began crying. And then Yuki and Yukito and Hiro were trying to comfort me and Yuki began crying too. Then we started playing and I was still crying, but I couldn't help it. I was so proud that we had gotten so far, that we actually had fans who cared about us -- that my dreams was starting become true. I stepped backstage and our manager said that there was someone who wanted to see me and that he said he was very important. It was him." Kazuki took a sip of water and sighed. He hadn't expected it to be Ki-sama. He knew the man from before, met him a few times and had developed a strange fascination for him. At the time, he didn't know it would turn into something more. "I remember going into that back room and when I saw him...I almost ran back out."
Miyabi giggled and Kazuki glared. "You'd do the same with Toshiya."
"That's different."
"How so?"
Miyabi opened his mouth about to say something before he shut it again. Kazuki smirked as it seemed the other man couldn't find a good excuse.
"Thought so. Now do you want to hear this or not?" Miyabi nodded, a cue for Kazuo goo go on. "Alright...I walked into the room and I saw him. He stood up and came to me, shook my hand and all that. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I really wanted to run around and grab Yuki to tell him who was here but I couldn't. I had to act professional because--well, Raphael was my baby and I was the leader. So I calmly took his hand and went to the couch and we started talking. We spoke about everything to music and experience to equipment--you know the usual stuff. I was getting nervous because I didn't know that much like he did. Suddenly, he changed the subject on me."
"Eh? What do you mean changed the subject?" Miyabi blinked at him curiously.
"He..." Kazuki took a deep breath, then began to play with his thumb ring. He shook his head slightly, trying to find a way to say it without whimpering or bursting into hysterical tears for no good reason. His eyes closed and he took another deep breath as he remembered. "He reached over and touched my chin, turning it to face him. He said I had grown up a lot since the last time he saw me and I remember telling him that I only aged a year. Then he said that he knew I had a crush on him." His eyes flew open and he looked at Miyabi, unconsciously glaring at him. "That was a lie. I had a mere fascination with him. It was nothing."
Miyabi tilted his head before snickering. "What happened then to change your mind?"
Kazuki's eyes narrowed. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Kazuki...." Miyabi threatened.
"Hey, don't try that tone of voice on me--I've done it to my band too many times to be affected by it from you--"
"Watanabe Kazuki, you will tell me now." Miyabi ordered, giving the other man the evil eye. A waitress froze as he did so then carefully removed the ramen bowls from the tray and set it down on the table. She quickly scooted away and Kazuki would've loved to reach for his chopsticks had it not been for Miyabi.
He whined a bit then sighed. "He came real close, touched my lips with his finger and called me cute, alright?!" He grumbled, sulking his seat. "And then got a real kick out of me when I breathed out the name, 'Ki-sama'. Then he left. And he told me he would keep an eye on Raphael especially me." He sank down into his chair after grabbing his chopsticks and began to play with it. His cheeks pinked slightly as he began to recall the rest, "And then he started writing letters to me once a month. Then he found my phone number and called me every morning. When I was on tour, I made sure to give him every single hotel number and room number I was going to be in. We used to meet secretly and sometimes, we didn't even do anything. He'd even bring other people along. He'd always keep an eye on me though--make sure no one picked on me." He bit his lip and began to growl. "But he would never let me kiss him. Only hug him. I could never hold his hand either because that was Dai's job." His hands clenched over the chopsticks, nails digging into his palms. Miyabi gulped a bit, slowly beginning to edge away from the table yet still trying to stay in his chair. "He teased me. It probably meant nothing to him but it really hurt. Saying that I shouldn't fall for an old man like him--it would only break my heart. He kept saying it, Miyabi-kun. I had no choice but to." He snarled.
He took a deep breath, trembling slightly with rage and sorrow. "We'll see whose heart is breaking now." He bit his lip, eyes stinging before he looked down at his ramen. His vision blurred before rippling. His tears had fallen into the bowl. He stirred the noodles and began to eat, slurping it up hungrily before he stopped to glance up at Miyabi. He chewed then swallowed the noodles before saying, "I waited three years for him. I wanted to prove him wrong. I was faithful to him. I did everything I could to prove my love. It. Didn't. WORK. So don't tell me that what I'm doing is wrong. I'm tired, Miyabi-kun, so tired. I'm getting older and I can't go through this anymore. I'm not going to bend myself all out of shape for him when he gives me nothing in return but grief. I loved him once, Miyabi....but his silence....his coldness....it intruigued me once but in the end, it scared me off. He'll understand that this is for the best one day."
Miyabi chewed worriedly on his liprings, chopsticks held up to his mouth.
"Won't he?" Kazuki practically squeaked out.
Miyabi nodded, if only to reassure him.
Kazuki couldn't help but feel a little scared.

~*~

Depuis le jour où tu as su (Je t'aime...)
que ma vie t'appartenait complètement
Toi qui m'admire et m'émeut...

Toi, multiple, comme le dessin des ailes des papillons
Loin, lequel, laquelle
Toi, tu es condensé
Tout ce qui est à moi
Ne se fânera jamais, cette seule et unique beauté
Tu m'as appris la jalousie

Tomo sighed as he slowly stirred his chocolate shake. He wished that he could have ordered something harder, but he knew how he was like when he started drinking. He would start walking into the wrong bathroom and other stupid things. He cast a glare about the cafe. He would drink if only he had someone with him. He slumped in his chair, unaware that a couple of blocks down, someone from the same band as his true love's was doing the same. It wasn't fair. He knew he had blown his chance with Hiro. He tried to move on and it wasn't working. He hadn't known why before but now he did. He was still in love with him.
He ran through black silky locks and began to pick at the cheesecake in front of him.
He knew that second chances were rare to come by and rarely easy to get. And he never knew that he would be going up against one of his best friends. It was just...so..complicated!!!! He groaned a bit before pushing aside the cheesecake and closing his eyes. "I need a man..." he murmured to himself. There was a vague sense of someone passing by his booth and pausing as if listening to him but he didn't care. "A good man. Why are all the good men taken?"
There was the sound of someone shifting a bit before they turned and before he knew it, someone was sitting in the seat across him. Tomo opened his eyes, staring into the dark amused gaze of a young man with dark red hair. "I'm a good man..." he replied slowly, in a soft voice of amusement. "And I'm not taken." The other man sighed dramatically, winding long fingers through the dark red hair ildly. "You've never even given me a second glance!" He lamented. Tomo continued to blink at him in surprise before the man across from him stopped, tilted his head the other way. A smile settled across his full lips before he reached out with an unused fork from his side of the table and stole a bit of cheesecake. "Besides, what would you do with a good man? You'd just turn him bad." He teased good naturedly, before slipping the bit of food between his lips. He licked them before he finally glared at Tomo--the look that he was used to. "A 'good evening' would be nice, Tomo-chan."
Tomo coughed, getting over his shock and nodded. "G-gomen...konbanwa, Madoka."
"That's better. And what's thboutbout a good man?"
"My screwed up lack of a love life." Tomo whimpered. "And you may be a good man, but....you're taken too." He glared and pouted at Madoka for this.
"Oh...sure. It's all MY fault."
"Hn. Whatever. Where is he anyway?" Tomo asked, suspiciously, glancing around the cafe. Madoka placed the fork down, shifting his seat a bit and rested his chin on weaved hands. Tomo glanced back at Madoka. "Wherever you are, he is somewhere--I know it. He wouldn't just--"
"He left me, Tomo." Madoka replied, calmly. "We got into a serious fight and he left me." He shrugged nonchalantly when Tomo blinked at him in surprise. "I'm fine--nothing important's been hurt. Just my pride, but it can afford that type of thing. The problem is that I have to pay for dinner on my own tonight. Nothing too unusual." He lifted an arm and instantly, a waitress was there at his side. Madoka smiled at her, not noticing the shy happy smile she gave back. "Can I have one medium pizza, two cherry cheesecake slices, a thick chocolate shake with chocolate sprinkon ion it and a glass of water to calm me down just in case the sugar gets to be too much?"
"Like you even have to ask, Madoka..." Tomo said in a drawl, poking at the cheesecake. "And you didn't even have to ask for more slices, you could've just eaten mine."
"Not with you poking at it like that. And besides, the poor kid was hanging around near the plant, just waiting to come over here. I think she has a crush on you. Speaking of crushes and all that," Madoka began playing with the fork again, twirling it in his hand. "What's this about Hiro and getting back together again with him? You do know that going after a best friend's lover is a very bad thing in my book, yes?"
Tomo murmured under his breath a bit before wrapping his lips around the straw and taking a sip of his shake. He knew that the other man meant well and was trying to give him advice, but he just wished he would do it in a different way. He wasn't that young. He didn't have to be spoken to like a little kid and it was as if Madoka's opinion was the only one that mattered. Madoka frowned.
"Tomo...you know..." He scratched the back of his head irritably, a trait that the other drummer knew well. "You know that I mean well. I don't want anyone to get hurt in this and ... Yuki loves Hiro." He went on before Tomo could interrupt him and it was easy to do since Madoka had that type of personality that could shut people up when he was on a role. "And I know you love Hiro too but that was a long time ago. You'll have to let it go. Life goes on. And apparently, Life has decided that you and Hiro didn't click."
Tomo tried not to shove the shake away from him petulantly. Madoka wasn't a very good supporter or crterrter right now. A little bit of him admitted that Madoka was very good at seeing the truth but that betraying thought was squashed under indignation. "Are you saying that Life decided to move me out of the way because it didn't like me and favored Yuki instead?" He glared at Madoka. "Are you trying to say insinuate that I'm not good enough for Hiro?"
Madoka's eyes narrowed and Tomo thought he had gone a bit too far, but he said what he said and wasn't going to back down now. "Yes and no, Tomo. I'm saying that if it didn't work out the first time--heaven only knows it won't work out a second time. I'm also saying that Hiro has moved on with Yuki, who is healing and is finding a new love to believe in. Do you want to ruin that? And I'm also saying that there must be someone out there for you other than Hiro!"
"I don't want anyone else other than Hiro!!" Tomo snapped back, irritably.
Madoka's eyes closed.
Bad sign.
"Fine." came the cold answer, "You'll do whatever you want anyway. It's not like I could ever stop you." The other drummer refused to look at Tomo as he slid out of the booth and stood. He turned, about to walk the other way to avoid passing Tomo on the way out of the cafe.
Tomo bit his lip before he stood. "Madoka--wait."
Madoka stopped surprisingly enough and turned around to glance back at him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...."
"No, it's okay. I deserved that."
"No, you didn't. I mean....you got in a fight with him today, you don't need to get into another one with me." Tomo watched nervously as Madoka blinked slowly--lazily then shrugged.
"You make it sound like I care about his opinion."
"You do."
"That's a whole 'nother can of worms." Madoka replied, smoothly. Tomo felt a grin tug at his lips. "And we're talking about you and not me. What the heck do you think you're doing--if you would excuse my language?"
"I'm making a play for happiness."
"At the expense of Yuki's happiness?"
Tomo frowned and sank down onto the booth as Madoka slowly wandered back to the table. His eyes closed and he nodded. "Yes. I have as much of a right to be happy as he does."
"And Hiro's?" Madoka whispered.
Tomo bit his lip, trembling, as his eyes filled with tears. "H-He...loved me once, Madoka. He can and will love me again. Yuki will understand."
Madoka smiled sympathetically. He was about to say something but the waitress came back, placing his food in front of him. He immediately grabbed a slice of pizza, tearing into it hungrily much to the amusement of Tomo. He munched on it for a minute before swallowing and taking a sip of his chocolate shake. "Don't you think that's asking a bit much from a friend? Forgive me for repeating myself..." Madoka shook the bitten pizza slice at him as if to prove a point. Tomo made a face at him, readying his napkin just in case some sauce flew in his direction. "I mean, if my brother took him--"
"Assuming Nuriko wanted him--"
"Okay, bad example," Madoka grumped, taking another bite out of the pizza with a fervor that offset his appearance. Tomo managed a weak grin despite his tears and waited patiently for Madoka to regain his foothold in the conversation. Irritating the other drummer had become much easier and more fun the past few months, but he did need the man's opinion even if it meant having to listen to something he didn't want to listen to. "Let's try this again," Madoka spoke up, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "If I tried taking my brother's love--expecting both to understand--I don't think I'd live very long."
"Well, of course--your brother's violent. And possessive." Tomo replied, nonchalantly. "Yuki isn't like that. He's different."
"I'm just saying--y'know, trying to make an analogy or a metaphor or something like that--of sorts. You and Yuki are as close as brothers. No matter what--you're supposed to keep your hands off their lovers."
Tomo grimaced and sighed, not willing to concede to Madoka. Instead, he tried to change the subject. "But it's okay to keep your hands on your brother?"
The look Madoka gave him could peel paint off of walls. Tomo giggled nervously, trying to hide behind his shake but it wasn't working at all. "I. Told. You. We were young, he didn't know and he did it first." Madoka paused before quickly adding, "And no, I did not kiss him back. In any case," He bit out, reflecting his irritance, "Are we all clear on your situation?"
"I thought you were on my side."
"I am on your side. You just don't know it yet." Madoka smiled and winked. "I'll make it easier on you. I'll give you 3--no, 4 weeks to forget this nonsense and find yourself another good man. That's not taken of course." Madoka smile widened as he watched Tomo's various reactions. "You might want to close your mouth--you're not too attractive as a fish, Tomo-chan."
Tomo closed his mouth with a snap and leaned back agqainst the seat. He nibbled on his lower lip before tangling fingers in his black shiny hair. Forget Hiro in 3 or 4 weeks? How was he to do that when he could barely forget him in a year? I love Hiro, but Yuki loves him too. Tomo clenched his eyes shut. I just can't...
A hand settled on his.
Tomo opened his eyes to see a still smiling Madoka. "Hey, don't worry. I told you--you have weeks to accomplish this."
"Can't I--can't I at least try to get Hiro?" Tomo whimpered.
Madoka shrugged, biting into his pizza again. "You can try, but I wouldn't recommend it. You still have weeks, anyway. I'll be keeping an eye on you." Madoka winked again before he leaned forward and kissed Tomo gently on the cheek. "Be good."
Tomo's hand flew to his cheek in surprise and he looked up at the other drummer. Madoka ran a hand through red hair, the same smile on his face. Tomo gave him another weak smile in return.
No wonder Alistair loves him. Why are all the good men taken?

~*~

Ce tout petit univers
Tu n'as pardonné qu'à moi la possession
Je ne veux pas que l'on me dérange
Minuscule dans le kaléidoscope
Toi, multiple
Dans les mains jointes rassemblées, je t'aime

They gave him the privilege of having a cell all to himself. He didn't know whether it was his appearance or his "violent behavior" that provoked such, but at the moment he didn't care. He sat on the cold metal bench, knees drawn up his chest to hide the photo he was looking at. Anyone who passed by the cell to check up on him was met with a disdainful cold glare. He sighed, brushing a thumb across the photograph.
He wouldn't cry.
He didn't cry.
Men like him didn't cry.
Men like him.....
Men like him couldn't keep the things dearest to their hearts.
There was a growl of frustration and one of his hands clenched into a fist, long nails digging into the palm of his hand. What had he done? Where had they gone wrong? He thought that everything was going fine. The arrangement that they had worked out between them was perfect. It wasn't too stressful for either of them or at least, he had thought so and all of a sudden this happened. Maybe he had taken for granted that Kazuki would stay with him forever like this.
Maybe.
But that didn't mean he had to like it.
He stared at the photograph of the young guitarist smiling and a part of him melted. His Kazuki-kun, no matter what anyone said. He had always greeted him with a smile and an enthusiastic wave, always answered the phone, always hugged him and shyly breathed out the words, 'Daisuki, Ki-sama."
No one had the right to hear those words but him.
Except now, that other boy with the blonde hair--the vocalist, Yuki, touched the dangerous side of him that included his temper and possessiveness. He had wanted to do more damage to the boy, but managed to stop himself. After all, perhaps Yuki was trying to steal his Kazuki-kun from him, but the boy was still important to Kazuki's band and survival. It didn't matter now.
His Kazuki--his Kajurin--had thrown him into jail.
There was a deep hurt in that--a sense of betrayal at that move. He put him into jail. Like a common thug instead of the man who loved him. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, continuing to caress the photo with his thumb. He hummed under his breath a bit to calm himself and sighed. He didn't want to be a person who gave up so easily as he despised those who did so. He will try again. Kazuki loved him once and if he knew the boy as well as he, Ka, Kazuki still loved him. He opened his eyes, determination burning within their depths.
Now if only the police would allow him to have a cigarette, it would all be perfect. Instead, he stood and paced the cell. He paused, his back to the bars so no one would see the photograph in his hands. You will be mine again, Kazuki-kun. Just as you always have been. This time I shall prove it to you so there will be no doubts.
You know, I love you...

~*~

Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais, je t'aime...
Tu sais...
Tu sais...
Tu sais...
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Kinyoubi no Koibito