Going Through The Motions | By : xadoredxangelx Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > N'sync Views: 1115 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of NSync. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N~ This is a 4 story series. And yeah... tell me what you think haha.
Chapter 1
I stared down the hallway, waiting for my parents to pick me up from school. They were late as usual. I know they love me, but they're too busy. I don't know with what though. I put my feet under me and smoothed my horribly colored catholic school skirt. It had some disgusting combinations of gray, black, pink and yellow. It just didn't go.
I mean seriously, who in their right m wou would put those colors together? They don’t go together, they don’t even belong on the same piece of fabric. It didn’t make sense, but then again nothing makes sense in my life.
Yeah, well, I'm smart for a 13-year-old girl. I know a lot even though I smile and pretend to be innocent on the outside. I'm angry and sometimes I just want to slide a blade across my skin as some form of release.
I looked down at my feet, my doc martin shoes, enforced by the school. They are pretty comfortable, I guess. I don't mind them as much as the skirt. Why can't they be like high school and let us wear pants? I don't know. One more year in this hellr Lar Lady Of Lords, and then I'm off to high school. Maybe then I won't have to wait two hours to be picked up from school.
"Miss Chasez?" My principal knocked me out of my thoughts. I looked up at the overweight woman, who looked slightly piggish.
"Yes?"
"Is there anyone else we can call to pick you up?" Mrs. Donaldson, looked down at me, annoyed. I'd be annoyed to if I had to wait for somebody to pick up some student everyday. Well it wasn’t exactly every day, but close to it, let’s say a few times a week.
"Maybe, you could call my brother, Josh? I think he might be home from work..." I bit my lip, nervous to look at this woman. I could tell she hated me. Just some look in her eyes. Well, fuck her. I hate her just as much.
"All right." She turned on her heel and walked back to the General Office. Her disgustingly colored yellow skirt swayedthe the sides. I don't understand why older people dress like that. I mean seriously take care of yourself, love yourself, HA! I should be talking.
How can I love myself, if no one else shows love to me? Well, actually saying that would be lying, my brother Josh loves me. Sometimes I feike ike he's the only one that does. He takes care of me, he's like a parental figure / best friend / brother.
He takes care of me, I don't know, I guess no one else gives a fuck about me but him. I mean my other brother Tyler and my sister Heather love me and care, but it seems like my parents have more time for them then me. I think I was unwanted. I know it's messed up to say that. But I overheard thalkialking once, how I was an "accident." I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask for this life. They gave birth to me, so pretty much they decided that I was to come onto this earth. It's not my fault they didn't wear a condom.
"Jess!" Josh said running into the front hall. I smiled a little bit looking at him. He wore a pair of these baggy jeans, this light blue shirt and his big puffy jacket over it. I was glad he wasn't wearing his ugly silver sunglasses that made him look like an alien. I hate those glasses; he thinks they’re so cool.
"Hey Josh!" I smiled, stood up and hugged him tightly. JC (that’s his nickname) is 20, and about 6’. He looks a lot like me, well more like me than my other siblings. We're both tall, with the dark hair, light eyes, and pale skin.
I pulled back from the embrace to see Justin, one of JC's best friends and band mates step into the door way. I cringed a little, I don't know why exactly, but I can't stand him. Just something about him makes me want to punch his face in. He wore this big baby blue FuBu jersey and a pair of baggy denim jeans. He just seems like he thinks he’s the shit, and someone needs to smack some sense into him, cause he's not.
"Hey Jess." Justin smiled at me; I don't know why he even tries to be nice. I always send the hint that I hate him. I even do horrible things to him, they're funny though, like one day I stuck on sign on him, "I like to take it up the ass. Please insert here." With an arrow pointing down to his ass. He couldn't understand why so many gay men were hitting on him.
"Hi." I said with the fakest smile I could conjure up. You cheerleaders have nothing on me for fake smiles!
JC signed me out of school; all while Mrs. Donaldson gave him a lecture. I would have gladly taken the bus home to avoid this, but I live far from this hellhole school. I don't know, I'm babied way too much by my parents. I don't understand why though. They are just so contradicting. They care about one thing that isn't important, but something that is; they don't give two shits about.
Justin kept looking at me and smiling, every so often just trying to start a conversation with me. He's a fucking weirdo. With his bleach blonde hair, and his hick accent. He just makes me want to gag. I can see right through him and his phony ways. So fuck that I'll be phony right back.
"All right Jess, come on..." Josh grabbed my hand pulling me out of the dreadful school. Justin followed behind and Mrs. Donaldson just stared out the window of her hellhole office. I have this theory; she must worship Satan in there. No one is allowed in there, so I'm guessing there’s an alter to Satan and gay porn pictures everywhere.
I got into the back seat of his beat up black jeep while Justin was in the passenger seat. JC started driving and let out a sigh.
"Mom and Dad forgot about you again?"
"Yeah what else is new." I looked out the window lowering my eyes, holding back my anger, holding back my sadness. But I expect this, I know it's coming, but I still feel hurt.
"Your principal wrote them a note... " JC laughed, stopping at the red light. He opened the note and read it aloud. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Chasez, I'd like to inform you that these occurring lateness’s of Jessica are being taken into consideration. If there are any more, I regret to inform you that she will be suspended or expelled. Please try your best to pick her up on time and to send her to school on time. Thank you, Mrs. A. Donaldson."
"What?! Are you kidding me?!" I burst out laughing, just some way to let some of these steam out.
"Damn..." Justin shook his head. "Sorry."
"No one asked for your opinion." I said turning to stone. "And no one asked for your sympathy." He turned away from me and looked out the window.
"Jessica, be nice." JC scolded me, looking at me through the rearview mirror. I just rolled my eyes.
"Fine." I folded my arms and stared ahead. Fuck being nice, I don't care how he feels or if I'm nasty.
We got to the house and I took off out of the car to my room. I was just angry, why should I have to put up with this shit? Why can't I have a normal family life? I sound so whinny right now but I don't want to be expelled. As much as I hate OLOL, I feel secure there.
I threw my blue jansport school bag down to the floor, wanting to scream. Not many 7th graders have to go through this do they? Whatever, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of having no one around to care for me.
I remember being 7, my Mom and Dad had to go out to dinner, my brother went to a sleep over, JC was in MMC, and Heather was at camp. MMC is the Mickey Mouse Club, this show that was on the Disney Channel. My brother, Justin and my best friend Ashlee were all on that show. My parents didn’t even realize they left me home alone. I'm invisible to them I guess.
I took off my button down shirt and skirt, staring at myself in my full-length mirror. I'm a loner, the only friends in school I have are my best friends Valerie and Valentina. We are just the loners in the school, no one else will even think about talking to us. I don't know. I also have Ashlee, but she's in high school, a sophomore. So it's hard to see and talk to her during school. But I know I can turn to her for anything.
The door in my room creaked open and I turned towards the door, in my white panties with yellow ducks on them and my white bra. Justin walked into the room, taking one look at me and stopping dead in his tracks.
"Oh... I... I'm sorry..." He stared at me and I quickly pulled my bathrobe around myself. What the hell was he gawking at?
"GET OUT NOW!!!" I screamed the most high-pitched, ‘I'm being murdered!’ scream. JC ran up the stairs and into my room as Justin ran out.
"What's going on???"
"He walked in on me changing!" I pointed at Justin who was just standing there horrified.
"I didn't mean to! I was just calling her downstairs like you told me, C!" Justin looked scared, JC just glared at him like he was going to kill him.
"I'm sorry, Jess..." JC shut my door and pulled Justin downstairs.
I just shook my head, and pulled on a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a white tank top. I walked down the stairs to see JC and Justin in the kitchen. It looked like JC had just yelled at him. Good. He deserved it.
"Listen, Jess, I'm sorry."
"It's okay Justin." I didn't even look at him; I just grabbed a can of sprirom rom the refrigerator. "So what did you want before?"
"I told him to come get you to see what you wanted for dinner. Mom has to work late, and Dad is flying to England for the weekend."
"Oh God. He’s going away again?" I rolled my eyes. The door slammed open and in ran Ashlee. She wore a pair of flared jeans and a baby blue Smurfette t-shirt.
"HEY EVERYONE!" She giggled and skipped into the room. "Hi Josh." She smiled at him, laughing a little bit.
"Hey Ash." I smiled and hugged her. She ran and hugged Justin and then hugged JC.
Ashlee has been in love with Josh for a while. Since she met him on the MMC to be more precise. It's cute but he just doesn't see her in that light. He just turns her down. I guess its cause of their age difference. She's 16 and he's 20. He sees that as a lot I guess. I mean who the hell would wanna be thought as a child molester?
Josh just smiled at her, looking a bit uncomfortable. In my opinion she makes herself way too open and available to him. Maybe if he saw that she was unattainable, he'd change. I don't know, just an observation and opinion. Not one I'd share to Ashlee though. I wouldn't want to hurt her. I guess in some way she thinks what she's doing is right. Maybe she's right and I'm just delusional.
"So what's going on everyone?" Ash sat down at the table next to Josh, with a grin on her face. I just stood there leaning against the wall and rolled my eyes.
"Nothin’ really… we were about to order or make dinner... its Jess's call." JC replied and pointed in my direction, I just shrugged.
"I don't care. You pick."
"Justin?" He sighed. "What do you want?"
"UGH! He's staying!" I rolled my eyes again, annoyed. Justin actually looked sort of hurt.
"Jess stop." JC shot me a stern look; I just smiled innocently at him. Oh well.
"Uhm... how about pizza?" Justin suggested.
"Eww! No!" I yelled out, I didn't mind pizza; I just wanted to be annoying. Maybe I am overly annoying but it can sure as hell be funny, well at least it’s funny to me.
"Oh My God!" Josh rolled his eyes. "We're getting Chinese. No one complain!" I just grinned angelically at my brother and Justin. Ashlee rolled her eyes at me and pulled my hand into the living room.
"Why can't you be nice to him?"
"Why should I? He deserves it…He's so phony." I twisted my hair and sat on the arm on the couch. It was this tan plush couch and if my mother knew I was sitting like this on it, she'd most likely kill me.
"Jess, he is not phony. He really-" Ashlee stopped, and I looked at her.
"He what?"
"Never mind." She retorted quickly to my response. I just shook my head. Did I really even care to know? It probably didn't matter.
"Whatever." I turned around and threw my empty can of sprite into the garbage.
The phone started ringing and I ran to answer it. I playfully pushed Josh out of the way and answered it breathlessly.
"Hello?" I giggled and twirled the wire around my index finger.
"Hi." A deep southern voice boomed through the phone. "Is Justin there?"
"Yes, hold on one second." I put the phone to my side and turned to Justin. "Phone for you!"
"Who is it?" He got up and walked over to me. I could smell the “Tommy Hilfiger” cologne radiating from his body. I looked up at him; he was about 6' and I was only 5'5", I stared up at him. Trying not to realize that he was good looking no matter how much I denied it.
"I don't know! I'm not your damn secretary." I said coolly and tossed him the phone. I had to keep my cool, what else was I to do? I must have been getting sick to have that thought even cross my mind.
"Hello?" Justin took the phone from my hand and I sat down at the table, Ashlee followed and sat next to me. "Oh hi Dad... okay..." Justin looked nervous; he bit his lip and stared down at the floor. "No, I don't wanna come now... please...Alright... alright okay fine bye." He hung up the phone and stared down for a second.
"What's wrong, Papa Smurf?" Ashlee said addressing his obvious emotions, His sudden sadness and his sudden nervous behavior.
"Na nothing... I just have to go..." He pulled on his blue bubble jacket on. Ashlee ran over and hugged him tightly; I just sat at the table holding back my smile. "Bye, Smurfette."
"Bye." Justin smiled a little, but before he could go JC had to open his mouth. I honestly wouldn't have cared but his comment seemed to upset Ashlee.
"You know, Justin why don't you date Ashlee? You two would be cute together."
Ashlee froze, as did Justin, before looking at each other oddly and then staring at JC. Ashlee was a little hurt, just at being turned down again. I know she loves Josh, I mean really full blown love. She's dated other guys, but they just aren't Josh in her eyes.
"Na… She's like my sister man... You should date her." Justin covered up for Ashlee. I actually wanted to hug him and thank him at that point. But it was only for a quick second and only because he stuck up for Ash.
"No." Josh burst out laughing. I don't think he meant to but he quickly stopped after the death look I shot him. What the fuck was that? Disrespectful bastard. I turned and looked at Ashlee, she looked down not sure of what to say.
"Listen JC can you just drive me to the hotel?" Justin said, obviously annoyed at JC's nasty remark.
"Yeah sure." He got up, put on his jacket and grabbed his keys, passing by Ashlee, who held back her sobs.
The two exited from the house, and Ashlee just broke down crying. I got up and hugged her, doing the only thing I could do to make her feel better. All JC did was turn her down. I know he didn't mean to hurt her the way he did, but he just fucks up a lot. He's sometimes numb to others emotions.
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